Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Downtime

I've come to really hate downtime.

Downtime comes from anywhere. Either my lack of time to get anything done. Too many things calling for my attention. Too much self doubt or thinky pain seeping into me and freezing my ability to do anything. Health issues preventing me from doing my thing...

All of this leads to a long period of fucking downtime. It seems endless. Sometimes it seems eternal.

The ideas are there. The drive to get it done is there. But all these other things in my way are hurdles to the end goal of just sitting at a table with a pencil and the opportunity to get it done.

We all have responsibilities and day to day doings. I guess when I was younger I could handle it better. I didn't have as many things in my way. But I could juggle full time college, relationships, friends, two jobs and still find time to get my comics done. I wish it could still be that way, but I guess I've resigned to the fact that it simply is not.

I got many things on the burner. Various books and writings. Comics and other art pieces. These Tshirt ideas that keep nagging at my brain to get them up and out. Then administrative stuff with the website, podcast, blogs, etc.

I'm not complaining about these things at all. I LOVE these things. And I love it when people message me wanting them or cannot wait for them. Its a good feeling. I guess I love beating myself up that I am not as fast as I used to be. Driven, I still am. But fast, no. (sigh)

Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans, right? I guess a lot of me has been focusing on life. Like this:

I got D and I a new mattress. The old one was giving out, even though I only had it a year and a half. It was a piece of shit really. I should have invested in a good ART VAN one. But no, I had to go the cheap route. Made for a sore back for sure. Anyway, we got a new one last week and have been sleeping much better. Although Luna here misses her old climbing obstacle, we had to toss the thing. Poor girl.

We try so hard to make time for friends. Its like we got a rotation going. And there are several friends we want to hang out with but just cannot seem to get things rolling to where we can get together. But this past weekend, my pal Matt came up and we went to Cheddars and drank a lot of booze. Here he is enjoying some desserts.

Meanwhile on our own, D and I have been taking care of each other. She made me some Chicken Alfredo that I took to work with me yesterday. We're trying to get into a routine of being around for each other and WITH each other. Juggling work and our outside activities can seem like too much sometimes.
In as much as I am frustrated about the downtime I have away from my comics and other creative stuff going on, I'm also upset about the lack of time I have just being at home. I am about 6 episodes behind on PREACHER, behind on my daily writing and sketching, behind on some gaming stuff, behind on cleaning tasks and sorting things.... I think I would do well to have a week or two off from everything so I can just get caught up and get things where I need them to be. Frankly, I'm exhausted.

But I know its not going to let up. At the day job I am working OT every week now, which is great, but means other things are now 2-4 hours behind per day. I get fatigued and wired up on wanting to do, but cannot do it when I actually find myself time to get to it. You know that feeling? Anyway, when I shake off this shit, I gotta put the finishing touches on this new book and get it kickstarted. Then finish off Starslam 3, which is more than halfway done. Then finish off the two other things, then get shirts up somehow in there. Then work on novel stuff. Hopefully some more music I have been working on sporadically in between all of that...

Fuck I hate downtime. Some of it is lack of time or by design... but the downtime caused by myself, is what hurts the most. I think I am going to take this latter part of the year and focus on just slowing down and getting some shit done at home. Gotta keep my head, you know?

Maybe instead of complaining about it, I need time just to get DOWN and BOOGIE!

I also know that some of this might just be from me reading the news everyday. The constant threat of nuclear war, the white supremacy rallies and how our "president" is not presiding or directing us as to the life we should want... maybe its the world dragging us down and not ourselves. Let's agree to shake it off and flip this downtime upside down and get back to business! Who is with me?

--T



Thursday, August 10, 2017

Fighting Fatigue and Depression



Its coming up behind me again. I can feel it. I don't want it, but its coming fast.

It seems like all this year I've been fighting goddamn depression. I've seen therapists. I've tried meditation and relaxation podcasts. I've tried to revert to things I used to listen to and think about when I was younger. Some days I feel much better and feel like, "I'M BACK!" But most I'm just sitting and it feels like I am waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. 
Little things set me off and derail me. Stress about work. Stress about stuff on my TO DO list. The fact that I haven't touched a pencil in well over a month. Stress about the things my loved ones all around me are going through. Worry about my dad or my kids. Worry about my Girl and her problems she faces. Worry about finances and lacking things like time. I just want to pull my hair out and scream loudly. But mostly I just sit quietly. Listen to podcasts or music. Anything to distract me from myself. 


I'm tired from stress and shit going on around me. Politics. Threat of nuclear war. Pop culture BS. Idiots still not waking up and listening to reason. Down to the fact that I stubbed my toe this morning. It all falls into a big mental soup that I'm trying to gulp down. But its pissing me off. 

I think about all I have to do and how most of it I cannot do yet because of this or that reason. Even if I had a vacation, I don't know what I would do with myself. Probably do what I always do when I have a day off... nothing. Just sit and do nothing. Waste time online or something.


Its weird because there are so many positives going on. My friend had a successful kidney transplant and therefore her and her hubby will grow old together. I'd see her hubby at work just bummed out and my heart was just sinking. The thoughts that your girl might not be here a year from now and the helplessness that must cause. How I couldn't help because my organs are (most likely) absolute shit. But now that's all better. She's doing great, the donor (her friend) is doing great and she'll be home probably the end of this week. Its wonderful news!

Three of my friends bought and moved into new houses this week. I envy them greatly and am so happy for them. They deserve it! Its happiness I wish I could have myself. But I likely won't. Still, I can relate to their joy. Its awesome news!

Another friend is getting ready to have their first baby. They've been renovating their house (nesting) to get ready for its arrival. It reminds me of when I went through all of that. It makes me happy for them. They got so much joy coming. And I know nothing will dampen that joy or steal it from them. Its great to see!

My depression is a combo of many things. Past, present, future all collides in my brain. Mostly its present and future shit I am taking on. I am trying so hard to BE HERE NOW and sometimes I am. Sometimes my actions can be pure and I can joke around again. But inside I am screaming. Inside I am crying. Inside I am creative and it needs to burst out of me. I just need the breakthrough.

Man, I've been this way all year. What the fuck is my problem?

All I know is that I am tired. Of this and everything else. One line from a movie circles my head over and over. It haunts me and stuns me into fear.

"What if this is as good as it gets?"

What I gotta decide is if that is enough or can I strive for more? I can finish what I need to finish. But can I grow beyond it? Who the fuck knows. And I got less shit on my plate then other people I know, so what am I whining about?

That is the circle in my head. Anyway, thanks for reading. Onward.

--Much Love, T

p.s. At least I got a close friend coming this weekend to drink booze with me. That might be EXACTLY what I need.

Monday, August 07, 2017

Cobwebs Suck

Hey friends.

Dealing with the roller coaster this past week. Strikes and Gutters. Ups and Downs. Good and bad. Random BS in my head. Stuff I juggle in the day to day. Clearing off the cobwebs and cleaning off old stains of bloody shitty bullshit.

My oldest son Cody is up for a visit this week. Its so trippy to know in 5 months he will be 18 years old. The dude has a full beard and college plans n'shit. His life is in a bit of chaos right now and its good he came out to get away from it all. I hope I am providing him a nice respite from his troubles.

I had my other boys out here this past weekend. Its great when all three of my boys can be together in one place. All three are so different from one another. Its great to see how they all interact.

I had some financial BS go down this past week. Something that will effect me a bit longer than I expected it to. Its all okay, but its just frustrating to me. I'm busy trying to get my life back into some sort of order and to find things still being issues and holding me back just irritates me. Apparently it is always my duty in this life to clean up all messes, even if I didn't create them. If that is my folly in this life, that is fine. It is what it is. But one day I know I will be clear of everything that holds me back and I won't have to worry about this crap anymore. I live for those days. Its some peace I know I will earn.

Anyway, how about a pop culture-ish rant. This:


New Trek coming out and already they are trying to sell the sexuality of it. We got the ass, tits and face shot going here. I know, Seven of Nine and Tpol were the same thing... but still. I don't know. This cover rubs me the wrong way.

Anyway, I'm letting life return to normal. While still cleaning up the messes around me: 


S-ok. I got it.

Anyway, I hope everyone reading this has a great week. I will attempt to do so as well. Its all we can do. 

--T

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Roger Waters 2017 Concert Review (PICS!)




Hey friends!

Last night I saw Roger Waters of Pink Floyd for the 3rd time. This show was at the Palace of Auburn Hills in Detroit. I've seen a few shows there and now that the Pistons are leaving the venue, who knows if this might be the last time I'm touching that floor.

Anyway, I saw Roger back in 1999 for the IN THE FLESH tour and in 2010 for THE WALL LIVE tour. Both were great shows for different reasons. When I heard he was touring again, I was on the fence about going. It was my co-worker who brought up the idea and we just got tickets on a whim. We ended up getting his friend and my other fellow co-worker to go as well. And last week, Colleen and D decided to join us as well. Luckily we were all able to score floor tickets! This was probably the closest I've ever been to Roger when I've seen him live, and that was cool. I also was able to tailgate a bit and drink a few before going in. Usually I am the one driving (I'm a control freak). But this time I relinquished driving command to the younger folk and rode along. (Of course I shit my pants along the way, but I digress... I got there and back safe and sound) We drank a few and all laughed and lifted the spirits high before we went inside.

The first set was subdued, with most of it from Dark Side of the Moon, his new solo record, some Wish You Were Here stuff and even a Meddle tune!

Colleen, myself, Zillins, D and J.D. all enjoing some beers and the sun.

Opening video was about 20 minutes of this chick just sitting in the sand. Then abruptly the sky turned red and then the show began.

Breathe.

Wish You Were Here

Roger sings.
There was an intermission and then he opened the set by recreating the Battersea Power Station (from the ANIMALS album cover) and even launching out the PIG and doing some powerful political commentary from those songs. Then some more Darkside stuff and ending it off with three The Wall tunes. They made a giant prism using laser lights and then at the end, some confetti came down on the crowd. It was a great experience!










Some other shots from other folks in attendance: 






Overall, it was an excellent show. I didn't think the other two times I saw him could be topped but this came close. In 1999, I appreciated hearing more of his solo stuff.  In 2010, I saw my favorite album of all time performed with the complete stage show, but I was far away. This time I was close and the production values certainly were raised up. The politically charged nature of some of the songs certainly didn't provide any escapism from current feelings and events. And I could feel (and have been reading some) comments and vibes about hating that part of the show from some in attendance. To that I say, "Wow... do you even KNOW about the music you claim to love? Check out the lyrics..."

To me, it was great to see a dude using his art to make comments on the world. That is what art is all about, really. Showing what you see through your eyes. Its up to the observer to agree or disagree and that is fine. Art isn't escaping. Art is reflecting. Just depends if you want to pay attention to the message or gather one of your own or not. That is part of the gig, man. (But I'll tell you, I heard PLENTY of loud cheering during some of that anti-Trump stuff and that felt encouraging... much better than the anger and vitriol I read every day when I pick up the newspaper or read a comment thread.)

I've loved all three Roger shows for different reasons. But this time was excellent. The band hit their marks, Roger sang in great form and it was a spectacle of a show. It kind of sucks a little that it isn't the complete Floyd on stage doing these songs. There's always that air of slight disappointment in that. But this is as close as I'm going to get to it. And that is fine enough. I got the albums and now the memories. And that is all I need.

This aging greyed hardcore music fan just saw some of his favorite songs performed live again by the dude who wrote the majority of it. What do I got to bitch about? Not a damn thing!


While the show was great, the music was performed wonderfully and the stage show was exciting and great to be a part of, the best part was those I went with. We laughed and joked the whole time on the way, at the show and on the way back. We remembered Caleb, whose last conversation with me was about Floyd's music and got to spend it with his wife and feel his spirit there with us enjoying the show. I got to show my favorite music in a visual aspect to D, my love, who hadn't had the pleasure of connecting all of that yet. I haven't laughed that hard or smiled that big in quite a while. I got to chat with other Floyd fans around me and hear their experiences and share some of my own. Music connects people. That is the only true magic there is.

Sometimes, I feel really fucking old. On the way we were discussing bands we've seen live.  I didn't speak up because a lot of the bands I've seen are either broken up or dead. I was the oldest in our group there as well. I was the only one with us that was alive when "The Wall" fucking came out!! But to see my favorite music live, knowing it still connects... still feels relevant... still rocks... still brings the same feelings... still brings out the tears... makes it and myself, feel timeless and ageless.

Does it all still resonate? More than ever.

--T

Monday, July 31, 2017

Random Chunks of Life Experiences

Hey friends,

Last night's blog about Caleb gave me a huge spike in reads. Mostly due to reposts and revisits. I got some wonderful messages about it. I really appreciate it. Here in the blog I try to be entertaining, informative and write from a place of honesty about how I feel about this thing called life. People seem to be entertained by it because the numbers have stayed with me over the 14 years I've done this blog here at Idiothead.com - Same thing with my Morning Show Podcast (Available on Itunes for FREE). I appreciate the continued love and support.

Today's blog is a list of randomness that is on my mind and is going on currently. Enjoy:

1. Speaking on my previous blog about TOYS: My girlfriend sent me this. I thought it fit the concept in my head and thus justifies my feelings on the subject. Let's hear it from the man himself:


2. Remember my old cat Jake? He and Milo were my favorite cats. Milo I lost in 2009. Jake passed away in 2014. I miss them both greatly: 


We used to poke fun at Jake about how big of a cat he was and how much he loved to eat. I saw this painting this week and it reminded me of him. Gave me a chuckle. 


3. The boys came over fora  double sleep over last weekend and I snapped this pic when they were sleeping. I thought it was cute. 

They were laying together. So cute!!
4. My oldest son Cody is coming for a week long visit this coming weekend. Its a crazy time in his life and mine right now but we're gonna make the juggle and make it work. I'm looking forward to seeing him again. Hopefully he will let me snap a few pics this time. In six short months he will turn 18 years old. So trippy to think that!!

5. There's a lot going on in STAR TREK world lately. What with the new show "Discovery" and now reportedly a Khan mini-series. To be honest, neither has me excited. Discovery was promised to be set 10 years before the events of Kirk/Spock prime (not JJ Abrams-verse) and yet the costumes, designs, etc look like JJ Abrams-verse. Plus there's Harry Mudd, being played by a 50 year old Rain Wilson, when in according to the timeline, Mudd would be in his 20s. Also meeting species before the Kirk timeline, like Tribbles... It just sounds like they are taking Trek-isms and throwing them together for a mish-mash of Trekking, with modern storytelling tropes of explosions and crew members hating each other. I'm not excited for it. And now the Khan series: It might be cool, but it has already been covered in a great book series and comic series. If you can improve on that, I don't know. But most importantly: WHY? Sometimes you don't need to see every nook and cranny of a universe. The story in your head can be just as great, if not better. Sometimes when we are shown in a cannon form how something unfolded, we get disappointed. I so wish they would just make a post-TNG/VOY/DS9 show and move forward that way. This isn't grandpa complaining... this is just story writing preference 101 talking. It would be as if I were to make a TV show based on football of the past, give them new, modern uniforms and robotic balls n'shit, and said it takes place before the first superbowl. Some football fans would be like, "wait a minute!!" Just saying. And yes, I'll give it a few episodes of a try. But I'm not excited about it.

5.5 But what I am excited about is Seth McFarlane's THE ORVILLE. Looks like a Galaxy Quest TV show and I'm sure will be a post-post-modern deconstructionist view on sci-fi TV show-isms. We'll see if it has legs to last that long with that, but so far what I see... I'm excited for that rather than Trek. So that says something.

6. I know you are probably curious as to how my comics are coming along. I'm busy assembling the Erotic Zone GN and that will go up on Kickstarter hopefully in August. I'm finishing it up now. Bare with me. I just had to juggle a weird schedule for a while and it took me a long time to catch up with sleep and life around it. But my training is done and I've tapped into the overtime hours. I even had to give up my Saturday off this week for some OT. That's okay. Its all for a greater good. But life priorities must come first before play. Bare with me.

7. On my MORNING SHOW PODCAST I started a new segment called "Does it hold up," where I revist old favorite movies I haven't seen in decades and ask essential questions wondering if the movie holds up or not. Also we are fast approaching episode 500 of the podcast. The contest now for the show is: EMAIL ME a question (or several) that I can read and answer on the air and you get entered into a drawing to win three hand drawn art pages from my comics! Contest ends just before I record episode 500, which is coming very soon! I think I got like 14 left to go. And those come quick! Act now and win stuff!!

I guess that is all that is on my mind currently. Have a great week my friends. Go do great things for yourself and others. Make it happen!

--T

Sunday, July 30, 2017

You Never Know...

Today is July 30th.

On this exact day last year, I drove to St. Johns to help my friend Caleb and his family pack up their house and load it into a moving truck. They just bought a dream home in town and were so looking forward to the move and the life change. I finally carved out a day to help him. Danielle and I drove out and started loading things onto the truck. Honestly, I wasn't much help on the heavy stuff due to my severe obesity. But I packed plenty of boxes and loaded as much as I could in the time we had. Danielle helped Caleb empty out his upstairs closet that was full of posters, nerdy movie stuff and a very heavy set of furniture. We did all of this for a few hours, stopping for breaks in-between. At one point Caleb and I took in some drinks and a smoke by the truck. We talked about future horror show plans, the drive inn trip to Indiana we already bought tickets for, work, our co-workers, etc. he kept thanking me repeatedly for us coming out to help them move. I kept apologizing that we couldn't help more. At one point he gave me a hug... something I don't do with many people. I got a space thing. After we did our duty, we got into our car and drove home. I waved to Caleb and his family as we pulled out of the driveway. His big bright smile was shining back at us through the exhaustion and sweat of that hot day. We pulled onto the road, I waved one last time and we drove home. Had I known it was the last time I would ever see him, I would have burned it more into my memory.

Because one week later, Caleb was gone.

Its hard to imagine that it has been a year since all this happened. It feels like yesterday. Sometimes it feels like it was all a dream and he is just on vacation from work. And Monday morning I'm going to walk into our office and see his smile again. Sometimes its like he never left. Like he's just off at the bathroom or at one of the presses for a few minutes and he'll be right back. Every day he gets brought up. We re-tell the same stories and the laughs get bigger and bigger. He lives. He lives.

Ive been privileged to work with some great people in various jobs in my life. Most of whom have become life long friends. When I started at my day job two years ago, I was in a different place in my life. I was going through so much transition. All I wanted was a new home, fresh start and a sense of purpose and pride in a day job again. And I found all of that in this place. Immediately this guy  in the cubicle over from mine named Caleb invited me to his Halloween party. Then he invited me to horror shows with his wife and friends. The door was opened wide for me to belong... it felt so good to be respected, useful in a job and treated like an equal again. Seems to be rare in a job anymore. I made friends with all my co-workers. And when Caleb was gone, we all felt it. He wasn't just a co-worker. He was family. Just a unique soul who we were all honored to have known. Many people I work with had worked with him for well over a decade before I came along. I only knew the man 11 months. And I know how I feel about him and what happened. In that case, I cannot imagine how they feel. They have many more years of memories and stories about him. They tell them to me and I just picture all of it happening as if I was there.

When you work somewhere, and its a good job, you all become like soldiers fighting the good fight.. to get the job done. If you're lucky, you can make a friend or two. And in those rare instances, you can become like family. We all got close after Caleb was gone. We all hang out when we can. We bullshit about movies and video games. Some there are suffering their own losses and health issues and we all reach out and care for each other. And we know if Caleb were still here he'd be doing the same thing. We want to be as good a person as he was to us.

Bad things happen. And it sucks when it does. Sucks.... With a capital SUCKS. But we cannot let the tragedy define who they were and how we feel about it. It cannot be their story. Instead we are thankful for what memories we do have of them. And also, how we can better ourselves by thinking about them and how we can reflect who they were and HOW they were in our own lives. That is how you keep them alive.

My co-worker reached out to me last night via text and said this: "He is with us and know that I am here for you." It means a lot to me to be in a place with such great people. And to know that a good man who had a good heart reflected on so many strangers, that they became friends and family. He lives. He lives.

This week: I'm taking his wife to go see Roger Waters of Pink Floyd. One of the last things I saw Caleb doing graphic design on at work was a French Pink Floyd release. He changed his desktop to be a Pink Floyd picture. He jammed on rare Floyd tracks and we talked all about my love of the band that week. I'll be thinking of that this week when we go. I'm going with two of my co-workers who have become my friends. I am going with my girlfriend, who helped me through the pain of losing him. And of course, his loving wife. Showing her a good time on this difficult week.

We rage on. The music plays on. He lives on!

The thoughts I leave you with are this: You never know what tomorrow will bring. So take the pictures. Make with the hugs. Tell those around you how much you do care. Because in a flash, it could be gone.

We live on and take our loved ones with us. It is our honor to have known them and it is our honor to carry them with us... until we meet again.

You never know...

--T

Always going to miss my friend and I think about him everyday. Until we meet again...

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

TOYS!

No depressing shit this time. Let's get nerdy and talk about TOYS!

I am a few months from hitting the big 4-0. And as I move closer, I realize that I am starting to wake up to my age a bit. More grey hair comes daily. Carpal tunnel. Digestion issues. Gonna have to start taking a finger in the ass to check the prostate and so on. That is part of life. What I'm also finding, is that being an aging nerd is a mental wrestling match.

For example, I went to Toys R Us a couple weeks ago because I had a few spare bucks and thought I'd treat myself to a random toy. I was in there early in the a.m. and I noticed people were looking at me. Suddenly it dawned on me: I'm almost 40 and buying a toy for myself at the toy store. Why am I doing this? Am I a big kid or something?? And why reward myself with a toy like I am a fucking kid?

Embarrassed, I left. Reaching out to social media, people tried to sway my initial reaction and encouraging me to embrace my nerdy side, go back in and get something. Well, I didn't. But the thoughts remained. So I started looking at the toys in my collection that somehow have been dragged with me from place to place over the years. Some of which are going for pretty good money now. Then I thought back to all the STAR TREK toys I used to have and have let go via ebay over the years. I had a complete set of the ERTL Star Trek 3 figures in box. I had all the TNG Galoob Figures in box. I had about 8 of the STAR TREK MEGO Motion Picture figures from the 70s in the box. The 2007 re-release Diamond Select MEGO reprints, all the crew and aliens.... all gone. And now to recoop them, I'd have to pay out the nose, whereas at the time I sold them for maybe half of what I paid for them. Stupid.

I regret letting them go. A few years ago I opened a lot of my toys so my boys could play with them. Scotty being autistic, doesn't care so much about toys at all. James does play with them, but his current obsession over the last couple years has been vacuums. Its literally all he talks about. My oldest son is nerdy like his dad, but in a different way. He's into online gaming PCs and anime stuff. Both worlds, I honestly don't know much about.

So, sometimes it feels like I'm a man out of time. I'm a big child. Approaching 40. Financially, I could buy a toy or two that I'd want now. I don't have many "high end" toys like SIDESHOW or HOT TOY figures. The most expensive one I've bought was a Matty Collector 12" Egon from Ghostbusters. Its out of the box and standing on a shelf with the rest of my Ghostbusters figures and cars I have in the box. I did recently get a Han Solo of the new Star Wars 40th Anniversary re-release figures. And I got a large format The THING from Marvel Legends. Other than that, a few tubs of random toys. Some are worth money. Most of them, not.

I'm at the point now where I am starting to ask: Do I let all of these things go and abandon these child like tendencies? Because my kids don't care about them. I sometimes feel stupid and childish for drooling over them. What do I want to do?

In the end, I cannot deny it. I'm a nerd. And I'm of the age where they are making good looking toys and I can afford them. I'm not going to run out and spend thousands on toys, but I will enjoy a purchase or two down the road. (but NO Funko Pops! Okay???)

I think this is okay. I am comfortable with it. Most of my collecting is nostalgia. Old Cds/records, NES/SNES video games, old STARLOG and MAD magazines, DVDs/Blu-rays, rare VHS tapes, STAR TREK vintage things, posters, old books, stickers and other rarities. I think I have enough room in my heart to keep my toy obsession alive for the time being. And maybe even kick it up a notch. I look at these premium figures and other toys and think, "MAN! I would LOVE to have that!" I'm sure having, is not as cool of a thing as owning. But honestly, every now and then, I like to take in the things I got and say, "fuck yeah! My 9 year old self would be proud!"

You gotta be happy with who you are. And call me Michael Jackson, but I 'm a big kid at heart. Adulting sucks. Just give me a big bowl of cereal, some cartoons and a book or a toy and I'm good. I'm happy and content with it now. I've tried to run away and "grow up" for a long time now and it hasn't took. Oh well. Fuck it. I am who I am.

Anyway, here are some things right now that peek my interest:

This is my recent gift to myself: the ENTERPRISE 50th Anniversary model kit. (Used a 1/2 off coupon! Sabo would be proud!) I put this model kit together about 6 times when I was a kid. Looking forward to doing it again. Of course, I got about 5 other model kits in various states of completion. Maybe I need to jump on those again. Been feeling a bit crafty lately. Maybe its time to relax and do some modeling on a day off!
Here's some toys from this past San Diego Comic Con:

Look at this ECTO1. I mean... LOOK AT IT! I'm sure it costs a fortune... but man.....




The same company produces this HANNIBAL LECTOR figure. Looks really great! Gotta have it.

Something on my Amazon wish list is this ED 209 by Neca from ROBOCOP. Looks awesome!!!!!

For higher end figures, this Han Solo looks sweet!

Same company is putting out this Peter Cushing/Tarkin figure. Man that sculpt looks amazing! 


Something I've been eyeballing for a while now is this Ghostbusters HQ in legos. The price is high for me and that is what scares me away from it. But look at it?!?!?!!?!?! I woulda KILLED to have this as a kid. SOOOO cool looking.

Also shown at San Diego were these awesome TMNT 80's movie version figures. Dead on sculpts. VERY nice!!

Apparently McFarlane toys got the Trek license for the new TV show and they are also releasing a Kirk and Picard. Sculpts look okay. I'll likely add them to my collection.
 There are a few other toys I've put on wish lists and bookmarks. Maybe if I drop some weight I will reward myself with one or two.

(SIGH) What a great time to be a nerd. Maybe its time to stop being bitter and forcing myself to fit a mold I just don't seem to fit in via what the world tells me (by age) how I should be, and just embrace what I dig. Maybe we all should. I'm sorry I whined about growing older and how I should let these things go. I decided to stomp my foot and say "I DON'T WANNA!"

Nerd up!

--T