Thursday, May 18, 2017

These Times are A Changin'

Hey friends. Lots of stuff in the blog today to discuss. Let's get to work.

First of all, I want to thank everyone for their support and kindness over the carpel tunnel thing. The last blog I posted about no more commissions and all that got a massive amount of hits and my inbox filled up a bit. Everyone giving their thoughts and advice on the situation. Believe me, I appreciate it more than you know. I hope that I didn't sound defeated in my last post, because I'm not. I just have to streamline what I can and cannot do. We all have things that happen as we get older and this is just one of those things. While I am definitely saddened by it, I'm determined to still finish my project goals. Even if those last few pages come out looking like chicken scratch! But I will not rush myself. I'm letting my body tell me what I can do. And I'm wearing braces daily:

I'm going out to look at certain vitamins that might help and I am doing the exercises daily. So far, my computer work and writing don't seem to be effected yet, and that is a damn good thing. We'll adjust. The world isn't getting rid of me that easily!

Meanwhile, my world around me keeps on drifting by: 

Scott-bot enjoying some TV. Lucky devil.

Momma cat and her kittens. Its almost time to give two of them away. We already chose which one is staying...

...its this grey and white dude I've named SEBASTIAN! I think we made the right choice. But we'll be sad to see the other two go. Definitely will be missed.
Sirius Satellite radio started their 24 hour Beatles channel today, which is exciting. Their first song played: "ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE." Absolutely PERFECT choice for many symbolic reasons.

I haven't been to the movies yet to see Guardians 2. I'm not in a hurry either. I didn't get to see Trainspotting 2 yet, and that is higher on the priority list for me. It comes out on disc next month. Only new thing I've watched is the MST3K revival. Its worth your time to check it out.

I've seen a huge spike in downloads of my MORNING SHOW podcast. I thank you for your continued love and support. Thank you so much. It means more than you know. 

Lastly, I want to comment on the sudden passing of Chris Cornell: 

Folks, this one sucks. SUCKS. During the grunge era that I lived in and loved (Still do), I was more into Nirvana, STP, Alice in Chains and Pearl Jam than Soundgarden.  But when I first bought a CD player with one of my first checks earned from my fast food job at 16, I bought two CDs that day... The Doors Greatest Hits and Soundgarden Superunknown. I loved that album. I went to a midnight sale of Blow Up the Outside World. I loved his first solo Cd. And when he joined Rage and did Audioslave, I wasn't that into it for some reason. But he did get back with the garden and released new music and toured. I saw them live in 2015. Here's a shot from that concert at DTE in Clarkston, MI:

The dude's voice was still killer. His playing was outstanding. I was back in as a big fan. I had Temple of the Dog on rotate for the rest of that year.

Nothing has come out yet about how he died, he was only 52. It seems like every band from the grunge era has nothing but tragedy happen to their lead singers. Kurt - (Murdered), Layne - Drugs, Scott Weiland - Drugs, man I hope Chris fared better. Like his pal Andy Wood from Mother Love Bone (Later to be Pearl Jam) died of drugs too. The fact remains for us old fans that the grunge era is dying a painful death. This one hurts man. It really does. I'm sitting here listening to Temple of the Dog (his tribute album to Andy Wood and HIGHLY recommended by me) as I type this. The man had a voice. Killer songwriter. Dynamic frontman. Seems like his heart and soul was in his playing every night.

He will be missed.

Man... it sucks getting old. Seriously.


EDIT-- They are saying it is suicide. If so, this is shocking man. Absolutely shocking. I don't have any words... 

Monday, May 15, 2017

No More Commissions

Hey friends.

It saddens me to say this, but for the moment, I am closing all commissioned work from me. Over the past few weeks I have been slowly learning what I am able to do and not do now with this new health issue of carpal tunnel. Some days I can draw fine. But most I am struggling to even grip a pencil. Its going to be an ongoing learning process and I will have to re-evaluate what I can and can't do, and how fast or slow I can go now.

So for the foreseeable future, no more commissioned artwork from me. If I get any work done, it will have to be on the pages for the comics that I promised. I'm sorry if this disappoints anyone but it is necessary. Thank you for understanding.

I will keep you all updated as to the progress on this new trajectory that my life seems to be taking. I'm honestly angry and saddened about it. But its just something I will have to cope with and accept.

Thanks folks,


Sunday, May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day

Hey friends. Long week of work and then some illness. Been having some stomach shit going on. It still sorta is around. I've been trying to take it easy. But---- I bothered to make a big meal for Mother's Day:

Roast with gravy, biscuits, taters and chicken dumplings.
 I realized that today, May 14th is not only Mother's Day but also my mom's birthday. She woulda been 71 today. I like cooking taters and dumplings on Mother's Day because my mom taught me how to make my mashed potatoes. Its a special recipe that people always love. It isn't rocket science, but I make them the same way every time since she taught me. I even still use the same yellow strainer and the mixer she gave me back when I was in high school moving out on my own. In all my moves, they've never got damaged or replaced. Its like we are making them together. And for the Chicken Dumplings: people go ape shit over them. Its a southern recipe that was taught to me by Gloria, my step-mom who came along into our lives after my mom died. They were friends growing up and her and my dad became companions after my mom died 17 years ago. We got close, her and I. So much so that I felt comfortable giving her the honorary title of "Mom." I didn't hand that out lightly, but I felt she earned it. I'd send her Mother's Day cards and call her too. I miss her as well. She taught me how to make the dumplings. Judith, my real mom made them as well, but she never had the chance to teach me how to make them. With Gloria, I had the chance. She gave me a rolling pin from her collection to help in my efforts. On her deathbed she told me that the rolling pin she gave me was her grandmothers. It makes it all the more special. I still use it today. So anytime I make the combo of Taters and Dumplings, I am honoring them. The above pic is the result. Now, the beef roast? That is my recipe. All of us together on one plate. (The biscuits are courtesy of that doughboy from Pillsbury)

Man, I wish they were here. I miss them both greatly. Sometimes I really need someone to talk to and they both were it. While I do talk with my dad a lot I still had a special connection with them that cannot be recreated. There are times lately that I really wish they were here for some much needed advice or an ear to lend. It sucks that I don't have that anymore and I gotta pay some stranger to listen to my problems. Moms are free therapists and usually don't stretch appointments to keep the money rolling in. The advice is sympathetic but also stern and straight to the point. I miss that. After my mom died, I cannot tell you how many times I'd pick up the phone and start to dial her and then it would hit me, "Oh yeah." She's not there. (sigh) So it goes. 

Always honor your parents, folks. Because one day, they will be gone. And all you will have left is what they taught you and what little time they had with you. Hopefully it was just enough to get you through the rest of your days. And to all the moms out there: We appreciate your efforts to raise your kids the best way you can. Thank you. Truly is the most important job in the world, not to raise another asshole. Cheers to you.


I haven't done much on new art pages this week. My carpal tunnel has been acting up. But I did finish this promo image...


So I decided I will be leaving my personal account and posting only in an official Artist/Writer account located: HERE - Click LIKE and FOLLOW to see what I am doing there. I'm not adding friends to my personal account and I am avoiding certain dramas and other things that distract and bring me down. This page is focused on ME ONLY. I'm going to do my best to keep my posts there about me, my work, things in my life, etc. All positive. No politics. No drama. Etc. I'm hoping this can ween me off that damn site completely. So if you private message me on the FB, I likely will not respond or see it. My other old page will remain there but its closed, all pics and things are closed and I will not be using it. If I can erase it without altering what I got on my new page, I will. Facebook is hard to figure out with their BS sometimes. But anyway, if I got anything daily to share, I'll share it there. But all personal stuff I'll keep to the blog here. Make with the LIKE and FOLLOW if you want. Enjoy.

I hope I feel better this next week. My stomach issues are up and down mostly. I just gotta get through this week and then next week I am on vacation to go visit my dad (and my two mom's graves) in Illinois. Plus other stuff. I NEED a break from the rat race of it all. My candle is pretty burnt.

Anyway folks, thanks for checking back. Much love to you all,


Wednesday, May 10, 2017


Hey friends. A bit of an update to the website here. First of all if you look to the right, there are two new links (as well as in the ONLINE STORE). There is now a direct link to where you can buy four of my graphic novels (Pleasant Life 1, Anna Pocalypse and Starslam 1-2) all via PDF download for the cheap price of $5! Just click the link, select what ones you want, pay and you get the download! NICE!!

Now for the COMMISSIONS link, I provided one to the right now. Also, an update to Commission prices. I'm now offering DIGITAL ONLY commissions for a discounted and fair price. Here's the new commission breakdown:

8x11 Single Illustration 1-4 characters with background is $30.
8x11 Page Illustration 1-6 panels is $50. 
Prices include digital coloring, no balloons. Additional characters is extra. Content MUST be cleared by artist beforehand. 

8x11 Single Illustration on Bristol Board. 1-3 characters with background is $50. 
11x17 Single Illustration on Bristol Board. 1-3 characters is $80. 
Prices are for black and white only. Color is $20 extra. Additional characters is extra. Content MUST be cleared by artist beforehand. 

There will be more changes to come down the road but for now, this will get some things up and running where they should be. If any questions feel free to email me. 

Thanks, T

Tuesday, May 09, 2017

Same Ol Same Ol

Here I am. No worries. Well, some were worried. I got messages from folks who were worried because its not like me to not post a blog twice weekly. I think its been about two weeks since the last one. Even longer for a podcast.

Truth is there's a few things going on and ways to explain my absence:

 #1 My major "production at home" days were Sundays. Now I am down to two of those because I keep my kids Sat-Monday morning twice a month so that knocks two of them out. The other two are usually reserved for some business that I don't have time to do during the week. So I get two nights free a month really. It kind of sucks but so it goes. At least I get to see my boys more. But that means that any time at home to do stuff like that usually takes a back seat. And my two Saturdays free a month involve time with D that we don't get during the week or with friends.... or severely drinking til passing out.

#2 Thing going on is that I am back into a major depression swing. I had to leave my therapist for several reasons and I am seeking a new one. I thought I was through some shit but apparently there's plenty more that has bubbled to the surface to help destroy what sanity I've tried to claim for myself. So I have wrote, but its been in private.... and you don't want to read what I wrote. Here on the blog and social media, I try to stay somewhat upbeat and positive. I'm supposed to be entertaining you folks. All my other writings shows a person in constant fear of rejection, inadequacy and emptiness. Its full of fear at every perceived failure and an endless need for acceptance and meaning. Its not fun to read. But it helps on some level. It gets it out of my brain. But it is easy to spiral down into the hole I've created for myself and just get the stone face.

I've really always been this way. Ever since I was a kid. It is hard to find someone who can deal with me when I'm like this and not take it personally. Thank the lords for Kitty D, who totally understands and helps me cope with myself when I am like this. We have a nice special mixture and can take on the drama when it heads our way. I got some doozies I'm dealing with right now. But she's there and helping me where she can. That is a good feeling.

You always try to dwell in the good feelings.

On the production front, you'll be surprised to know that I have been very productive on comics and things. I penciled ten more pages last week and things are rolling right along. I got a big new batch of pages to send to my colorist and I am coloring my own pages for my other projects too. Perhaps I owe you an update:

STARSLAM 3 - I got 45 pages in the can, complete. Another 22 are ready to be scanned and colored. We're getting into the major points of the storyline. So far there are about 6 major sex scenes... and thats SO FAR. So there is lots of nudity and sex this time around. I'm going all out for this last book!

PATREON R.I.P. - What does that mean? Well, I've done a lot of thinking about it, while still working on pages and things for it, but I decided that I cannot do a patreon. I just cannot guarantee my output with the depression issues and the carpal tunnel now limiting my drawing and writing. Its frustrating but I have to be honest with myself. I'm on a time limit with what I can do and how fast I can do it now.

BUT----- I still got these stories, pinups, written sex stories and things Ive sat on for years now. I decided that I will finish them and collect them in a new tradebook to be launched on Kickstarter. Probably before STARSLAM 3 comes out. Maybe end of summer-ish. I have a title and a premise. Its basically a sex anthology. For those that love my stuff, you'll love it! It will be around 120 pages or so and I cannot wait for you guys to see it. It collects everything erotica that I've done beyond STARSLAM. So that is exciting, right? Look for that soon.

PLEASANT LIFE 2 - I'm still working on it sporatically. I'm trying to decide how I want to get it out into the world. Eventually I'll probably try a Kickstarter to grab new fans for the series... but I do expect the numbers to be less considering it has no titties in it. But expect that next year.

WISE INTELLIGENCE - Remember this? This was a 4 issue mini series that writer Ryan McLelland and I did almost a decade ago. Terry Moore (SIP) did a cover for it even! We decided to get EVERYTHING together for this project and release it via kickstarter. I'm likely going to let him handle that, as I have enough on my plate right now. But I will be putting the book together for him and doing new stuff for it most likely. Will be nice to put a button on that book and have a nice collected trade of those comics that very few have seen! More on this later.

NOVELS -- Right now I got two novels (the short story/poem anthology and the tell all of my porn store days) in production. They've taken a back seat to the comics. I think once those are out my way, I'll get these done. Hopefully by Xmas or early next year. Because I have my first original novel (fiction) that I am itching to work on after that. Its something I've been half working on and writing dialog on for a few years now. Its a great idea and I would love to get it done... but all this other stuff has to get out of the way first. But consider this a tease.

So there ya go. Stuff is happening, despite my depression. I'm alive. Sometimes I'm angry about it, but I am alive. I know, that sounds dark. But I'm just being honest. I am determined to grow out of the depression that happens and continue my work. I'm determined to face everything the universe throws at me. Cause I'm not afraid to face it. I'll certainly bitch about it, but I will face it all. Sometimes, you just have to climb the mountain yourself just to show people that it can be done. I know I inspire others by what I'm doing and I am not going to let them down. I'm not doing all of this for me, I'm doing it for you. I hope you know that.

Anyway, here are some pics of things beyond all this depressing shit. KITTIES!!!!!!!!

Cuteness overload.

Sebastian. We picked the right one I think.

We will miss this Grey goober when she goes to her new home though.

Mommy is still protective.

Scott Bot lounges around.

What do a bunch of thirty something guys do when they get away from the girls for a night? Do they hit the strip club and the hooters? Nope. They have a NINTENDO PARTY! A bunch of my co-workers got together a couple weeks ago on my only night off and did this gathering where we played through Ninja Gaiden 2, Punch Out, Excitebike, Kung Fu and many other games. It was a lot of fun and we're already planning NES championship night 2. 

Lastly, a note a screenshot reminding me that there are some out there who care: 

I thank everyone for their messages and care. I'll be okay, no worries. I'm gonna work with this new therapist and get to a good place with the shit plaguing me. But rest assured... THE WORK WILL CONTINUE!

Cheers, T

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Starslam 3 Pages and Random Updates/Thoughts/Schemes

Hey friends! A blog of pure randomness, plus new STARSLAM 3 pages for you to see! First, here is the kitten we decided to keep. I have named him "Sebastian." Fear him, for he rules the night!

I'll tell you, having a batch of kittens around is a joy but also a pain in the ass sometimes. Mommy cat keeps howling while we are sleeping and her kittens are starting to wander around. Empty nest syndrome or something? I have no idea. Another few weeks and the other two cats will go to new homes. I'm sure I'll miss them, but I also like the idea of things returning to a bit of normal around here.

I've been watching the new MST3K on Netflix. So far, its pretty good. Nothing will ever compare to the original Joel episodes for me, but that is okay. There's enough there to keep me interested and they do callbacks to the old shows quite a lot. I'm about halfway through the episodes now. After that, I'm gonna try to tackle Better Call Saul. Speaking of which, Kitty D is hip deep into some Breaking Bad now herself. We watched a bunch of episodes last night after work. So good!

Caleb's tree at work is in full bloom for the spring! Check it out:

This Carpal Tunnel thing is a distraction to be sure, but I am dealing with it. I'm doing daily exercises and at work I wear a brace for pressure points. My colorist Andy graciously sent me some ice spray to try out. I need to get a hand brace to wear at night when I sleep. Life adjusts. I'm determined to not let this thing slow me down. I got writing and drawing to do. And I'll go down with the ship if I have to!

For those who participated in the TALES FROM THE GORE Kickstarter: All the books on my end are mailed out and done. The only ones left to ship are the Olya Stevens related sketched books and the commissions. Its hard to get together with a gal who lives 30 minutes out of town and has a ton of things going on (as do I!). But rest assured we will and all the mailers will go out within the next couple weeks with her books. Thanks for your patience. I'm damn proud of the book.

I got a couple messages asking if I will be back at Summit for Free Comic Book Day. Unfortunately, I will not be doing anything for Free Comic Book Day as I will have my kids that weekend. That is okay, because I don't have anything to sell beyond books as it is. I will try to get an appearance rolling next year. But if you are in the Lansing area, check out Summit Comics in downtown anyway as they will have a great guest lineup, prizes and hey, FREE COMICS! Great for the kids and their reading, ya dig?

While I'm talking about comics, I wanted to briefly mention that I am still busy working on Pleasant Life 2 and comics for the Patreon! Right now I got about 60 pages done for Pleasant Life 2 and three new stories done for the Patreon... as well as all the old content I already have created for it. I hope to launch that Patreon sometime soon... this summer! In addition to comics, it will have a new BLOG there as well as an exclusive PODCAST. You only get this content if you are a paying subscriber. Trust me, I think the content will be well worth it for you to dig into. Tons of erotica and a bold new step into that direction, full on. For now, that's enough teasing....

Okay, by the blog's title I promised you some new STARSLAM 3 pages and so here they are! Obviously I cannot show you any pages with T&A as this blog is visually PG-13 for the most part. But rest assured there are PLENTY of naughty pages done so far for the book. As for our progress we got 48 pages completely done and in the can. There are 16 more floating around in various stages of pencils and inks. Wednesdays are my main drawing days on the book and so I hope to push a new batch out tomorrow. But for now, here are these new ones for your viewing pleasure:

Candid photographs!

Doc Nelson and Bear Girl have a special journey of their own in the new book!

Um, we're gonna need a bigger boat!

Updating the team's image!
I got a plan in my head as to when you will see this book complete. I'll be working all summer on it to get it done. With Starslam 3 and the upcoming Patreon stuff, you'll be seeing a lot of my erotica comics headed your way!

Thanks for reading...


Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Embrace What You Got

Life hits us pretty fast. We're all tired. We're all stressed. We've got a pile of TO DO, and a mountain of I WANT. But its best to keep in mind the John Lennon quote: "Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans." But hey, keep trying your best. Chase the whimsies and find your happiness.

Over the last few months, I've crawled out of some nice depression and with the help of therapy and self evaluation, I've learned to stop the triggers and put ME first. If people think I am a dick to do that, that is okay. But in the end, I am all I will have when the long trek is over. I have to be able to live with myself and the choices I've made. And so far things are rolling along. Things are truly better. I'm happier now. I can get goofy and take a chance to stop and breathe. And when bad things happen, I can cope with them. Its a good head space I've dug in and cultivated. I've created a nice happy sanctuary of sanity for myself and I am enjoying its existence. Its a thrill to wake up in the morning. Its a joy to create something new or think about what is to come. Beats not caring, like I felt a few months ago!

Depression sucks. No doubt about it. But it can be controlled.

You have to face your anger and your fears and put them into perspective. I'll give you one example.

One of the things that really added to my depression last year was the death of my friend Caleb. I've talked about it many times on this blog, as you know. And I've tried my best to turn that all around. I made a book with him in it. I helped with all the fundraisers. I did all the travels to the places we planned to go and did things he could no longer do. Seemed like everything I did involved "honoring him." I tried all I could to be there for his family and friends. So I was there for everyone else, but myself and how I felt about it. So the inner struggle continued. But still, there was one major thing I had yet to do. That was, going to see him. I just couldn't do it. It took me forever to even sit in his cubicle at work when there were no available seats left in the room when I was on overtime! In a way, I guess it was acknowledging the truth. It always felt more comfortable to me to pretend he was just on holiday and was coming back. Its the same fantasy I had when my mom died.

But as I went through therapy, we discussed Caleb's influence on my life and how I should feel sad sometimes, yes, but I should also be happy I even got to know him. That I should celebrate his life and find peace and happiness that I got to know him, his family and friends. It was tough. I had Jacob and his wife (his longtime co-worker and close friend) over one night for drinks and of course, I got drunk and cried hard about missing him. I knew I still had more work to do. Even today, I still do. His name was brought up yesterday at work. And I had to pause and stop myself because I felt that sting behind my eyes start to rise up. His name cannot be a trigger word for tears. But rather it should trigger a smile! Most of the times, it does.

But I knew there was one thing I needed to do. I had to go see him.

I went to the funeral back in August but I didn't go to the graveside service. I had no idea where he was or what graveyard he was in. So finding myself open for a couple hours on Saturday, I did a google search and found the location of the graveyard. It was a few miles north of Owosso. I found it and drove around the place. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. But eventually I found it.

It certainly is one of the most beautiful stones I've ever seen. There's a tree design on the front that matches a tree tattoo his wife has. And there's a nice tree nearby the stone itself! On the stone is a jar with little notes inside. And there are pictures on the front and back of him, his wife and family. 

I was out there for almost an hour. Just crying and talking. Crying and talking. I poured out my heart and said everything I needed to say. It had to be done. The mountain I was carrying with me, I was now climbing. I shared all my thoughts and stared out into the clouds beyond the field, hoping to feel something. Some sort of comfort or some words to pop into my head. Some sort of, "answer." Even as I said everything I'd need to say, I'd wipe the tears away and look back at his picture and see that all familiar smile. And I'd start laughing. That smile is forever burned into my memory.

I chased some demons away that day and as I drove away, I felt better. I waved goodbye and promised I'd visit often.

I've been to graveyards all my life. I know deep down that "they" aren't really "there." Because they are stored in memory. They reside inside your heart and soul. And you can recall memories or create fantasies at any time. You can talk to them. And sometimes if you listen hard enough, they will answer you. But I always make it a point to stop and visit my grandparents and my uncle Rich and mom and Gloria when I visit southern Illinois. And I told my dad that I know one day he will be gone too. And I'll not have too many reasons to come back to visit there when he is gone. But I made the promise that I will go back just to make sure he always has flowers on his grave. Just because I can. He will lay next to those he loves most. Forever at peace and rest.

I decided long ago that I will not have a grave. No stone. I will be cremated and dumped into a river somewhere. Probably Mt. Pleasant, land of my childhood. I don't want anyone to feel the obligation to put flowers on a stone bearing my name or feel guilt that they haven't come chatted with me. I've always felt that if someone wants a chat with me, do it by reading my stuff. Blogs or comics. Or listen to my favorite music or watching some of my favorite tv or movies. That is the best way to connect with my energy from beyond. But there is some comfort in having a final stop, in a field of stone, resting next to the one you love. I love that, even though I know its not for me. Its a far better resting place to come to. A nice quiet corner, near a tree, next to the one you love most dear. One day.

But I left there feeling one thing: Envy. I'm happy my friend is at peace. Looking back to all the people who helped him and his family through their rough time, has me thrilled at how we can still love and help each other. That he indeed had a good world around him when he left, and how we can cultivate that and keep it alive. I left knowing that his grave isn't a place of sadness, but a place of celebration. He made it through and had a great world around him. Because he cultivated that around him by the way he was. And we were better people for having known him. I was envious of him at rest in a quiet corner, with a beautiful stone created with love and care. He had a place to go in the end. And he will lay next to his love at rest someday. He has something I will never have. That realization made me smile. 

But back to today: We got what we got. TO DO, I WANT... and we embrace what we got. Now and coming up. What happened and what we can make happen. Face the fears, honor what has happened and who we know. Have a good world when we die. Thats the ultimate goal.

After I visited Caleb I spent some time in Owosso. I had never been there before. I found a Ponderosa and ate an old familiar meal. Then I found a used book/Cd/DVD store:

I walked out of there with some old Metal Edge and Starlog magazines. Stuff I don't really NEED, but stuff I had when I was a kid. I've been thumbing through the pages, remembering. I'm comforted by the past. I'm a nostalgia guy, let's face it. All I collect are CDs and old video games. Things from when I was happy in the past. I'm embracing the memories.

..but most important to know, is that I am conjuring that happiness into the now. embracing who I was and who I am. And today, I am happy with that. I got what I got and that is just enough. And I'm happy to go and visit old and new friends. To spend time with those I love and hold most dear. To pick up a pencil even though my hands now hurt and still pencil the next page, and dream of the next story to come.

This is the life I got. And this is all I'll ever need.