So last night I drew a cover to WISE INTELLIGENCE #3 and sent it to Ryan. He wrote back saying he “LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVED IT!” and expressed how happy he is about our collaboration.
These kinds of statements blow me away because I guess I always think so little of myself. I have a hard time determining what my “art” is worth money-wise when someone asks. I don’t want to be perceived as vain about it. Like, who am I to demand $100 for a sketch?
I began to explore all these feelings. As in,, why I think so little of myself and my art. When in reality, I am doing better than ever. I was talking with the wife about it. She related that she did some stuff at work and thought it wasn’t enough. So the day manager came in and she said what she did and the day manager was DE-LIGHTED that she did so much… when in reality, she thought she did very little. And was almost ashamed that she didn’t do as much as she could have.
We discussed it and came up with our answer: McDONALD’S.
When we worked there (I worked there 6 and a half years, she worked there close to 8 years), we were responsible for all sorts of things. Maintenance, cleaning, cash, lists, workplace etiquette, training, etc. It seemed that we ALWAYS had stuff we needed to catch up. It was a lot to ask a person for $6.00 an hour. A lot. I remember one time that I worked extra hard for one solid month. I came in 4-6 hours before my shifts to catch up my paperwork, cleaning my specific assigned store areas, did other people’s charts and work, cleaned up areas that haven’t been cleaned since 1857, and so much more. I worked my ASS OFF!
Once a month, all the managers sit down for what is called “communication day.” You show them your stats, what you’ve done, etc. I KNEW I was gonna shine this time. I worked hard and it showed. I was up for a promotion too. Anyway, I had my meeting and knew I’d do good. But they found something obscure to nail me on.
“Well, the pebbles in the shrub area are not organized.”
“That’s maintenance’s job to do the outside.”
“Well, you need to focus on that too.”
I was floored. I mean, here I busted ass (UNPAID, mind you) and I still wasn’t good enough. Just average. I got an average raise. No matter how hard you tried, you’d never, ever, ever be good. It was never enough. That place beat us both down till we lost confidence in ourselves and our abilities to do good things. Sadly, that’s something we still carry with us today. We have a lack of confidence that we did a good job.
So I am glad I gave up that shit food almost 5 months ago. And I will never, ever give them a dime of my money again. Ever. And neither should anyone else. Its an evil place that takes an average person and tells them “No, you can’t.” Well, fuck you McDonalds. I beat you and your shitty system. There are places and people out there that will treat us better and with the proper respect. And will comphensate us monetarily and congratulatory for our hard work efforts. And for the pain you put us and many other kids though. For the hours I worked off the clock for you, I got nothing to show for it. Nothing but bad memories and a broken heart when it comes to authority. I hate you.
I urge everyone out there: STOP EATING AT McDONALDS! Its an evil place. A hateful place that doesn’t promote good things. Forget about the mistreatment of animals and the fatty foods and all of that. Just think about how they treat their people that work for them!
I’ll never go back. I’ll be on the fucking street and starving (which would be good for me to lose weight actually), but I’ll never set foot in one of their shitty restaurants again. Fuck this fast food mentality of America. I’m cooking at home from now on.
Stop the hurt. Drop the McHate.
T
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