It might as well be public.

I was avoiding making this too public, but after HEROES CON, I decided to go on a diet. BAsically I was disgusted by the pics of me coming back. The only time I truly feel fat is when I see pics of myself or I go clothes shopping and I am relegated to the tent and tarp section.



And unreleased photo of me at Heroes.

I've looked at older photos of me where I Was just chunky, and not morbidly obese and I am longing for those days.

So anyway, for the last couple of weeks, I dropped soda and have been making healthier choices. I've avoided bad foods altogether. The last couple days, I've slipped back off the wagon and got a few bad meals. Well, last night I paid for it. I went to BK for a late night burger run and ate a double cheeseburger. At 5am, I got up, my stomach absolutely boiling. I felt like I had something seriously wrong. Like my large intestine exploded and acid bile was leaking into my system. I got scared and thought I was dying or something. I got up and headed to the bathroom where I sat on the toilet in a few moments of absolute terror. My arms grew numb and was shaking. I was getting cloudy and was moments away from hollaring at my wife to take me to the hospital. (and if you know anything about me, I hate doctors and hospitals.) But instantly, I stood up and puked my guts out into the sink. Hard. After that, I felt better but still queezy as shit.

So either I got food poisoning, my stomach was punishing me for going back to bad food... whatever. Point is: lesson learned. I'll keep my path straight from now on. Cause that shit was scary!

Its gonna be a long road to actual recovery for me. I basically have to change my whole life. And I know I have said this a zillion times, but this time, I feel that my life is at stake somehow. And the thought of me passing out dead, in front of my children like that dude at my job here a while back... it just really makes me wake up. So I've endevoured to make baby steps to this process. Too much change at once makes me fail each time. So this time, I started with eliminating soda from my life. TOUGH! But necessary. I still have the occasional one, like if we go to Chilli's once a week or something. But mostly its been juice or water.

I didn't want to go into this publically because I've started a diet like, umpteen times now and did huge long statements about how this time it will be different and so on. And each time, I have failed. Well, I don't know what I can say about it. But I know what I gotta do about it. I got to. Or else I will be dead soon. And I got plans to stick around for a while, so I best get to work.

So I guess wish me luck on this long journey. I will now officially make it public and keep you updated on my progress here. I intend to prove to everyone and myself that I can do this finally. What is the old saying? That the most important step in a million mile walk is the first one?

Anyway, in other news, I have been working on new pieces finally. Getting some of my confidence up and trying to SLOW DOWN. I've been working on a Wonder Woman piece for the past two days. Taking it slow and enjoying it. Doing details. Enjoying myself. I am still working on my hands and eyes too. Just spending alot of time swimming in lake me. 12 days till San Diego Comic Con. Man thats a scary thought.

Okay, back to it.

T