I kinda hate it when I'm all caught up on podcasts to listen to cause I start to listen to music, and inevitably, my songlists will drift to sadder songs and I start to think about things. Especially deaths of those close to me. Mom and Milo for two. Thought about mom a bit while Simply Red's "If you Don't Know Me By Now" came on. Yeah, I own that song. Only because my mom said it was her and dad's "song." So when I hear it, I think of them. Then listening to Evanescence's "My Immortal" gets to me. I played that the day after my cat Milo died this past July. And the piano notes on that song really get me. And lyrics like "your presence still lingers here." I start to feel the sting of tears and gets distracting.
Yeah, I'm not ever gonna get over deaths of those close to me. It took me a long time to cope with my mother's death. We were so close. But I had the idea to put her death into my comic I was working on then: PLEASANT LIFE. It gave me some sort of way to deal with it. Albiet PUBLICALLY, but still it was quite theraputic. Well, now with my new comic coming next year, ANNA POCOLYPSE, I got that opportunity again. Anna, the main character in the book has a cat that pals with her when she rides and scavenges across the wastelands. And its an orange fluffy tabby, named Milo. Natch.
So, retread an old idea? No. I just write from what I know. And its a tribute to them. Its my way, I guess. Perhaps I am too sentimental and honest with how I feel. But I know no other way to be. Here's some pics:
First up, coloring progress on the first ANNA POCOLYPOSE cover!!!!!!
Next, a collage of MILO pics I made shortly after he died. I use it as my desktop sometimes.
You never get over things. It gets easy, but never OVER it. I'm lucky to not have had much tragedy in my life so I guess I should be thankful of the memories and things I had with both of them and others I've lost along the way. But as I grow older, I find it harder to let go of things I used to let go of more easily. Perhaps for these reasons. And Milo, I miss my buddy. Right now he'd be in the chair next to me, snoring as I drew. Or nibbling at my toes for no reason. I just miss the furry lil' shit. I sometimes think that he's still here. Just off sleeping somewhere. And then I sorta wake up, and then "oh."
Well, Sorry to post such a downer of a blog! I'm supposed to be entertaining goddammit! I dunno. I just needed to take a break from coloring. I think I'm done with it for the night. My eyes are kinda killing me. I may doodle a bit here before going to bed. But I got a long day tomorrow of an actual work shift. And a 3-10shift on sunday. So not much work will get done at home, unfortunately.
Luv ya all!
T
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