YES. Its been an interesting week here at the Talley house. I took a couple nights off from drawing to work on some model kits. Maybe its the paint fumes getting to me, but I've been in a really good mood this past week. I think its cause I am getting a really good night's sleep too. I am not tossing and turning like normal. I am not keeping myself awake with thoughts. Just falling asleep quickly and staying that way till around 9am when the kid wakes me up. Its really nice. I awake with a smile on my face too! What an odd thing. The aches and pains are gone and I am not as stiff as I was in the mornings.
So what has caused all this to pass? Nothing. I wish I knew. But I can say as a result of these things, I've been feeling great. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I've been spending a lot of time ridding myself of the negativity of life since I left St. Joseph. I was an angry, bitter person there and ever since moving I've felt better. Sure, I've had some major setbacks here and there since the move, but things are getting done, bills are getting paid and I have never been more productive. Maybe its the fact that all you fine folks keep supporting me AND YOU KEEP ORDERING MY NEW BOOKS!!! I don't know. All of it blends together I suppose. I guess I have just started to think about what is good in life instead of focusing on what is bad. Its a great feeling.
For example, I used to rant about this celebrity or that or this politician or that, but really I've left it all alone for the most part. There are a few things that get me going, sure. But about 90% of it I've just walked on and not cared. The ignorance of the world's anger and bitterness is my bliss. For a few months now I've focused on this fear of death. I cannot explain that really. I guess just this sinking realization that one day 100% sure, I will die. And the fear of it happening suddenly and all that. I started looking at the glass as half empty. But I've always been an optimist at heart. I look at the bright side of things, like when I fail at a thing, I look at the lesson learned or that I did deserve a failure once in a while.
Something awoke in me recently that basically woke me up. Simply that life, is a gift. And if we spend it worrying about dying, we're not living. And I'm a very lucky man. I don't focus on the things I don't have, or the fame I haven't got yet. Instead, I focus on the fact that I have a loving family, a wife who supports me without all the crazy jealousy and attitudes that I see other people have in their lives. I got a group of fans who eat my stuff up like cake, and support my work in a variety of ways. What a great thing! And think of something like this: I am sooo lucky to be living now, cause I get to experience the music of Pink Floyd, The Beatles, etc. It would have sucked to live in the 1800's. No good music! What a gift that is!
See what I mean? Just simply adjust your thinking. That everything you experience is a gift. Even the breath you take is small little gifts. Each one. And you think of these things, and it just warms you. It makes you feel invincible. And the angers and the bitter people of the world never effect you. (except they effect me when I am driving, the bastards!) All it takes is a mental adjustment. Clean your mental house folks. You'll feel a lot better. Life in today's world fills your head full of bullshit you don't need. It doesn't matter. It will not matter when the long Trek is over. (wink wink) For example, yesterday I had to use my day off to take the car in for an unexpected car repair. Something like that normally would make me angry. But in reality, I was laughing and having a fun time. Then we went to a furniture shop and I attempted to lay my fat ass on a bed on display there and it broke! Still, I laughed. I didn't get down about it. I even joked that the diet I am on needs more adjusting! See? You change your attitude about things and it changes your heart. It feels awesome.
So once you cleanse your mental palatte, you can do those things that really matter most. Like effecting those around you positively. Or creating something new for the world. Go find what you can do and what you are looking for and do it. Trust me, you'll feel a lot better.
Spring cleaning for the soul. Oh yes. Now go forth my little droogies. Go out there and kick ass.
Luvs, T
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