Independence Day Thoughts

Hello friends. Thought I'd pop by and say hi on this independence day. Most people are cooking out and spending time with loved ones. This weekend I have been. Snapped a photo of me and all three of my boys together at one time. Here ya go.

My oldest son Cody has been with me for over a week now. He'll go back to Port Huron later this week. He has straight A's, a junior in High School and almost all of his credits done. He could graduate early but he's gonna stay on and finish some college credits first. Then he got a full ride scholarship to MIT. He wants to go into computer programming. I'm damn proud of the dude. We've got the chance to talk a lot this week. I took him down south to see his grandpa and where his family origins come from. It was a long stressful weekend but we made it back alive and grateful for the things that happened and the lessons learned down there. 

This week I took on some commission work. But before I can tackle that, I have to get these STARSLAM 2 books out the door. I've already mailed off about 1/2 of the books ordered. Now I'm finishing the sketched versions and other larger donor versions.

Some books I gave a quick head sketch. But the fully sketched versions feature our girl in a very NSFW action. Every one of them is different. Can't share them here! Perhaps in the pages of STARSLAM 3!!!

To be sketched in. I got about 1/2 of these done by now. I'm trying to do my best in all of them and give each person a nice unique pose/action!

I'm almost done with the task. Then I ask: What's next? Well, I started on Starslam 3. I have Pleasant Life 2 pages going... I just have not been quite as diligent on getting the work rolling as I used to. I read some old blogs from years ago about how my days were filled with freelance work and then page work. I've slowed to a deep crawl. And I'm fine with that. I was so used to the rat race and always struggling to stay ahead. Now I'm just drifting. It feels strange, but welcome. I've watched a lot of movies and shows. I've read some stuff. I've listened to new music. I've spent time with people I care about. Watching the wheels go round and round.

I've been asking myself: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I know what I don't want. But I don't know what I do want. I know there are things I want to finish and be done with. There are projects I promised and want to finish and release into the world. Come what may on the sales or success of those things. I don't really care. Just to finally finish the task is enough for me.

I've also been working on my health. I'm down about 11 pounds as I write this. My day job lunch has a lot of greens in it:

Yes, no dressing. Don't judge.

I've been walking at the gym. Sporatic, but its happening. I'm trying to do the right thing by everything and everyone, including myself. I have things that get to me and set me back, but I fight through them. I'm determined to get to where I am going.... wherever that is. In less than two months I'm moving all my stuff 25 minutes to the east. And then a year later, back to this same area. I don't know where yet, but it has to happen. There are juggles and struggles with it and every day it seems I have a new thing to worry about. I try not to cultivate problems but they still seem to find me. All I desire is to have a clear head, clean slate and no worries. I guess that will never happen. There's always something waiting to mess with me or take me down. But I'm still here.

Unbeaten.

My social media blackout still stands. I find that I don't miss it at all. The drama I used to fill my head with isn't there anymore. I'm calmer. I'm happier. At this point, I don't want to come back to it. The noise I want to contribute to the world is my own work. And I don't desire to tell everyone everyday back how "X or Y secret thing I'm doing is sooo awesome!" I can't pre-brag anymore. I can't hype anymore. I just don't care. Let the thing I do in the moment stand on its own two feet and be judged after it is finished. IF and WHEN.

I don't desire to get into full production mode quite yet with anything. I have about six roads in front of me which I could take and finish first before coming back and doing another. No idea yet what that will be for me. I'm in no hurry. I'm just trying to find happiness on my own and in my own head and surroundings, before I try contributing again.

Barring some major event, it will be a while before you hear form me again. Lots to juggle in the next couple months. Let's see what happens and if I emerge with something good. Till then, the drifting continues.

Cheers to you all on this independence day. Be safe my friends. Spend time with those you love IN PERSON, not online. You'll be way happier.

See you all soon.

--T