These are some cards I did for a recent set revolving around the Titanic. I'm posting this because of the 100th year anniversary of the sinking that happened last night. It was an honor to be asked to be on the set. I'm very grateful. I'll give you ordering info very soon.
Jessica Rabbit commission. The sparkles bring it out don't you think?
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I've been speaking a lot recently about "things I am going through" and I hope you all know that indeed, I am fine and alive. I am not dying or anything like that. I have just come to a point in my life over the last couple years where I am turning my boat in another direction. And it comes from me basically evolving into something else of a human. How I do that is recognize any sort of NEGATIVE PATTERNS I have. It started with hoarding a bit. Not like you see on TV, where people have dead cats living under piles of old trash and what not. but just hoarding things. Unopened toys, comics and other stuff because of their perceived value. But When I examined it, I learned that I am a nostalgia type of collector. I had missed some of my childhood due to me forcing myself to mature too early. So I think I reverted back a bit and had to relive it. I got the toys I had as a kid and replayed some of the games I played, or re-read the same magazines I had then. It felt good for a while, but after a time, I felt empty and then claustrophobic. So I slowly got rid of things. First of all my CDs. That was a major thing. I've lugged over 400 CDs from place to place and put utmost care into their catagorization and proper labeling. But I let that all go and sold them all off. I only kept about 30, box sets with DVDS or remastered with expanded artwork box sets that are just completely worth keeping. My absolute favorite bands. The desert island favorites. and I've bought cheap Cds here and there cause its $3 for a used album I could buy for $11.99 on itunes. Seems a cheaper bargain to just do it that way if I find the right deal. And believe me, I've missed the CDs and my old records. I miss them like hell. At times, I toy with the idea of getting them back. But for what really?
Then I moved on to comics and toys. I had a ton of toys in the box or sitting in a larger box in a closet. I started to sell them on ebay or just give them away. I wasted a ton of money and never got even half back on them for what I paid for them. And I find that I don't miss them. I liked some of my Trek ones cause I considered them "shelf porn" or "trophies" of accomplishment. but anytime I want to look at them, I got catalogs of Trek collectible books I can look at and enjoy for that. Or online. I gave a lot of my toys to the kid who will grow to appreciate them. I gave my childhood back to the one that needs it. And comics I got rid of about half my trades mostly cause I read them once and thats fine enough. and I had almost 8 long boxes of comics, now I have one and a half. I REALLY paired it down and organized it all.
So where does that leave me now? What do I evolve to without these old things holding me down? Well, I decided to focus more on the things that matter: My sanity, my health and finding new experiences, and lastly CREATING. Always those things. So I am on a journey to fix my sanity. And I've discussed before about ridding myself of mental violence. And its a daily struggle. I want to post a gripe online and sometimes do, only to take it down a few minutes later. I just don't want to contribute to the sludge out there. And I am trying to keep the hateful or general hateful comments to myself and ignore when others do it. Its hard. Everyday I struggle with it. Going against 34 years of negative patterns in my thinking here! But I have done wonderful progress on it.
Now physical health is a big demon to slay. And I have been chopping away at the huge mountain with the edge of my hand. I'll get there. Its on. I've been eating better, exercising and just trying to slowly mold myself into new habits. Getting out of the negative patterns of the old ways that just aren't for me anymore.
New experiences: I've been trying new things. Listening to new stuff and checking out new artists. Reading new stuff, watching new stuff. Just trying things out. Some of it I like, some I don't. But mostly I am enjoying it. Even when something isn't that great, I still find something in it I like. I'm getting stoked on ANYTHING, and it feels good. I am not as critical anymore. Believe me, I'm much happier just going "why not" instead of "why" all the time. It feels great.
Lastly, CREATING. And I've certainly been doing that. Creating cards, drawings, pages, stories, comics, writings and life itself! All those things are the core of my being and I have been loving it. Not for praise or money, but for the experience and the chance to give back to the world. It just feels good!
SO: All these things fall into my path of getting out of Negative Patterns. We could all do that to some degree. Find your negative patterns and find a way out. Everyone can do it. Its easy. Just identify the problem, predict its outcome if you were to continue on it, decide on an action, and finally, execute the action. IPDE. Identify, Predict, Decide, Execute. Its the basis for all decision making. An old friend used to have a philosophy that everything fell into two catagories in life: Useless and Necessary. And you'd present him with something and he'd say one or the other for each one. Like for me it would be Beatles? Necessary. Air? Necessary. Celebrity Obsession? Useless. Anger? Useless. Water? Necessary. Movies? Necessary. You get the gist.
We all have our own demons to slay. You want happiness? True happiness and clarity? True peace and freedom to do the things you love? You want to find love for and in yourself? Seek out your negative patterns and destroy them. Create NEW patterns, new paths and adopt a "why not, lets try it" philosophy. Be honest with yourself and your short comings and don't ask others what it is you need to change. This is for YOU. YOUR journey. Cause if you involve someone else, you might resent them for thinking about you in such and such a way. Just look honestly at yourself and figure it out. Change it. Do it. That simple. Your clock is ticking. How do you want to spend the rest of your life? In peace or misery and negativity? Its up to you.
Go forth and rock it my friends,
T
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