Thursday, May 03, 2012

Don't be a douche.

Another blog! Wow. Aren't you lucky! Well, read on cause we're going into deep waters again.

I'm big on social graces and treating others like you want to be treated. Its the little things I notice. Holding the door open for others behind you, putting the carts back in the cart corral at the store, not talking on the phone while inside a building so others don't have to hear your conversation, basic nice talking and common courtesy. Basic common courtesy seems to be evaporating quickly and it frustrates me no end. Its extremely rare that I find a place that gives what I deem to be: "Outstanding customer service." And the places that do? I frequent them constantly and ask for the same servers, waiters or people to help me. Cause those people who do stand out and not be douches deserve it and deserve my money. They got it right. They know to be cool and that we're all eating the big shit sandwich and they take the time to make everyone's day a bit less douchey. I love them for it!

I am not a perfect being and in the distant past, I've been a cunt to people here and there. But I never did it as intentional to be a prick for the sake of being a prick. If you think I ever have and I somehow hurt you in saying or doing something, I apologize. It certainly was not my intent to be a prick on purpose. And even sometimes in my life I've had to do bad things or deliver devestating news to someone to accomplish what would be in the long run: a greater good. Cause I could see ahead and knew I had to act to stop certain things. It wasn't be being a dick, even though I certainly felt like one at the time. It wasn't my intent to hurt others. It never is. Believe me, I torture myself over dumb or stupid things I've said or done all the way back to friggin' Kindergarten! Its the thoughts that come to you at night when you are trying to sleep. My mind goes back to "remember the time you said this? Man didn't you feel bad about that!" And thats my fault. I'm the one keeping those memories alive! People probably don't even remember them, but I add fuel to it, keeping that memory burning. Why do I do that? I don't know. I wish I didn't, but I do. So believe me, if I have wronged you, I remember it and torture myself over it... even if I was right or not about it.

But my main point is that sometimes I hate leaving the house because of the way others are out there. You can't go out and enjoy a nice sunny day with your family because of all the pricks out there. Today I took them out for lunch and to do some errands and people driving around us were arseholes and almost getting themselves or my family killed. (all in the purpose of saving two seconds of their life, they are willing to put themselves or others in danger? Seems odd to me) Nothing gets me madder than horrible driving. Cause we're supposed to trust each other on the road and keep each other safe and alive and get to each of our destinations ahead of schedule. Follow the basic agreed upon rules of the road. But then here come the douches. Oh how they emerge from their cocoons when I get out and about!

Its not just driving. Its all the violation of little social  mores that just irk me. And we ALL know its douchy to do these things. Why do people still do them? Is it ignorance? Is it just a plain "don't care what others think" attitude? (Which to some extent, I can admire BTW) I am not sure. And I certainly don't know why I let it effect me so. Cause it could be a WAY worse world around me. I could be waking up afraid of a beheading while I have to work 10 miles to work to earn 50 cents for hard labor, rather than dealing with some douche not holding the door open for me. I get that. But I live in America. And I would like to further the idea that we can all get along and just be cool to each other. Follow agreed upon manners and care for others.

But I am a dreamer. It will never happen.

SO: What to do? I've talked with my wife about it and I am pretty much decided that when we do get a house, we're gonna get one sort of out in the country, in the quiet. A place with no one around and I can play and scream loudly. A place where I can burn a bon fire and have privacy. A place where I can get away, my own private Xanadu. So everyone can continue to being douches. But I am taking my toys and going home and staying out of it. I can't fix you, and I am tired of apologizing and trying to correct and police the world. Its a futile effort. Just gonna focus on my happiness and giving it back to my family, friends and reflect it in my work. And train up my boys to not be douches when their time comes. Its all I can do.

Much Love, T

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