Tuesday, October 17, 2006

My struggles.... all things comics and on my mind...

Pretty busy weekend for me. Usually I have some sort of outlet.. meaning I go shopping out of town and get stuff I really don't need. But we're super broke right now between checks, so I did alot of sitting at home. I caught up on some of my backlogged comics reading. I watched the DAWN OF THE DEAD remake again and X2. Taking a saturday night to veg out and watch movies. I never get to do that. Usually I am just listening to movies while I am drawing.

I got three "girly" pinup pieces done for the selling portfolio, and still working on a contest commission piece. Should be done this week. Then, back to Pleasant Life #3 art.

Last week, I finished the Pleasant Life #3 script. I got 3/4ths through Pleasant Life #4's script too. Its an action packed affair this time around. and in Pleasant Life #3, I got a cliffhanger that needs to be resolved. Exicitng stuff all around.

My thoughts, as always of late, revolves around my soon to be changing life. I mean, I'm 28 years old. Next year, in less than 7 months, I'll be moving to a new town and a new life. I've never done that before. I grew up and went to college in the same town. Unfortunatly for me, all my friends have moved on, and I was left behind, thinking I could make my way check to check. Well, the job market in my town SUCKS! So, looking at that, and the fact that my wife and I want to start a family in a quiet place, someplace pretty well situated for traveling to promote my comics and the like, we chose St. Joseph, MI.

One major deciding factor is that my best friend and his family live there. Its a beautiful town, a beatiful community. What JOBS it offers me, I dunno... but I am holding hope strong. I really don't care what job I have as long as I can spend time with my friends and family, and still do my comics. Thats all I care about.

But I mean, I spent my first 30 years growing up. 1-10 was adolescence... 11-20 was high school and early heartbreak/job heartache. Then 21-28 was more job heartache and heartbreak. Now, finally at 28, I have the loving wife I've always wanted, a college degree and a loyal fanbase and outlet for my creativity. All great things. But for the past 2-3 years or so, I've felt trapped. Like, I want to get my work out to the world, to anyone who will listen. But I always never had the money. Self financing your work is VERY hard! I mean, you got a mouth to feed too right?

Bless my wife and her undeserved kindness for letting me pursue my dreams. She believes in me, that I will always follow my dream of being a successful comic book creator. And what a great time to be into comics. With all the media attention, the diversity of the medium, the rich creative nature of those around it, its just incredible. All I've ever wanted was to be heard.

This January, its my 29th birthday. But its also my comic's PLEASANT HYMNS' birthday. FIVE YEARS. Wow.

I'm planning a party to throw and celebrate. but I haven't decided whether to make it public or not. I'd love to throw a gala party at KAYA COFFEE HOUSE and make it a big thing, do live art, sell books, etc. But.... I fear that local interest has dwindled. I know that, its part of why I am moving. No one cares about comics up here. All my friends who cared are gone! So, maybe its a personal celebration. I deserve a cake and ice cream and a beer. I'll slap myself on the back. 5 years of successful publishing. I'm VERY small time. I do the midwest cons. I'm not big stuff at all. But I want to be.

Thats why I need company backing. I need someone to help me, step in and carry the book to the people. I cannot do it alone. I've done grassrooting, hitting all the cons. I've done it all. and I will continue to do that. But I need someone to back me up. Strength in numbers. Thats my goal for 2007. GET A COMPANY TO BACK ME!!!! I cannot keep asking my family to sacrifice potential "house" savings for me to pursue this. Or can I? I mean, its my dream. What you put into it, you get back, right?

I was looking at one of my 1995 published comics earlier today. The art..... SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD! I mean, "my 6 year old son drew it" bad. I remember when I did draw that book. I was in high school, 16. I did all the work. I drew it, printed it on the offset press in my graphics class. and here, 11 years later, I stared at it and laughed. It is quite laughable. But, it was a first step. And I look at the newest PLEASANT LIFE pages and compare... my god, I am 1,000,000% better now. I've grown and grown, even from the first days on Pleasant Hymns back in 2002. The first issue's art SUCKS! But the new stuff.... amazing. The only thing that holds me back from proving that to people across the world is the fucking money to print it! Its so damn frustrating.

Ever feel like you are shouting into the darkness? That no one is listening to you? "look at me! look at the great things I am doing!!!!" ....and no one feels it or hears it, quite the same way as you do. Yeah. Thats me.

Its been an incredible 5 years. I've got stories, memories, blood/sweat/tears, advice, bitchings, late fees, hotel fees, over the limit credit cards, printing slips and boxes of unsold comics, and a HUGE plastic file of original art to prove what a great ride it has been. I don't regret a bit of it. I look back to that book I did 11 years ago, and wonder what the NEXT 11 years will bring. Cause whether I get company backing in 2007 or not, that won't stop me. Nothing will stop me. SOMEONE.... will listen. It will impact SOMEONE. Thats all that matters.

I am grateful to you for being along this journey so far. Its been.... fun! And it only gets better from here. We've sweated for so long, now lets rock.

ADAM T. ---back at his drawing board right now.....

No comments: