Man, I feel better + PIC OF NEW PROJECT!!!!!

Wow! I cannot express how good I feel tonight. I had one of those nights where the ink was flowing well, I was engrossed listening to podcasts (thanks WORD BALLOON and the new BENDIS TAPES!) and taking a break every little bit to hold my son. Desperately trying in vain to keep him from crying loud while mommy got his bottle ready. Quite a cool thing.

Earlier today, I was defiantly bumming. I didn’t want to go into work. I knew, KNEW that the individual who almost shit-canned me at the job would come in. And they did. And they didn’t say a damn thing to me. And after that my boss and I had a long talk about things to come. It’s a definite that my days at the porn shop are numbered. When that happens, is up to me. I have applications to various places. There’s an idea also to taking some time off to recollect my life and thoughts on things. Further, taking that opportunity to start up FULL TIME my web based business I have been planning for the longest while. It all seems too good to pass up.

But at the same time, it’s a scary thing. The commitment and risk. But its here. Its now. I really for the first time in a long time began having those sinking thoughts in my head that I NEVER get. I’ve discussed this in public before, about the dude who approached me and basically saved me from quitting comics. And how since that day, I’ve never doubted. Well, today I started to slightly feel that way again. Like I was worthless. Like I was reaching no one and wasting my time and that maybe I need to give it all up. Oh so briefly was I on that artistic ledge once more.

But I was cleaning the bedroom, headphones on, listening to the new BENDIS TAPES and something he said hit me in the nuts… hard! Something to the effect that if you are an indie publisher, a long time publisher, that the longer you stay in, you are demonstrating your will and determination to what you want to do, and you will make it. Guaranteed.

Immediately, I knew he was right. Next year is my 15th year doing this stuff. I got two great graphic novels to debut in march, many conventions to go to, many friends to see there, many more podcasts to be on with my artistic pals, more cool pages of art to make, more writing to do, many smaller side projects to release by march, and God, so much more. More than I can say publically right now. Man, what I got coming, you all won’t believe. I just gotta let it happen and not stop its flow. And perhaps this is fate’s way of showing me that its time. Something is not letting me give up. I know in my heart of hearts that this crap situation I was presented with will not derail me, not even a little bit. Moreover, it will fuel me. I’ve certainly been through worse and emerged triumphant.

So, why was I letting some frakkin’ PORN SHOP drama get in my way? Why was I letting that make me take my eyes off my prize? I dunno. Those thoughts are silly. Its me over-worrying and being derailed. Losing focus. I’ve come too far, and swam through too much shit to let that happen now… especially over something this mundane and unimportant. In the end, it’s just a job. A means to an end. Not THE END.

So fuck it dude. Lets go bowling.

(I’ll let you all know my ultimate decision in the days to come. But I am now delighted to share with you a pic of my pencils/inks on current pages of SURPRISE!!!!! “EXPENDABLES #2!” Check it out!!!!)




Pages are still being inked and background pencils done.

YAY! So glad to be back in the groove baby!

--Luvs, T