I need a vacation.

3 Days til San Diego. I can say that I really need a vacation and some fun. But right now, I don't feel like celebrating.

Milo's death is really hitting me hard. I cannot get out of this funk I am in. There's a sadness around our place, as you can well imagine. Things aren't quite as sparky here. The other 3 cats are very lovey and clingy. Quite different for them to act that way.

I had to watch my mother suffer, wither away and die. But I wasn't actually there when she took her last breath. This was the first time I ever did that with someone I loved. And I gotta say, I can't get the images out of my mind. The feeling of utter helplessness and sorrow I felt all at once.

We've pretty much decided to bury him. But where, when and how is the mystery. I think down by the lake in covert is the way to go. Milo loved water, so its sorta fitting. Too bad I won't be able to go there and have a sort of memorial place. But thats the life we live I guess. I'll be happy once he's taken care of and in the ground. Cause right now, I'm not feeling any sort of closure. I guess I need that.

I'm sorry folks. I know blogs are supposed to be upbeat, entertaining and fun to read. A distraction from your day. But right now, I just feel like getting my thoughts out and having that therapy. I've got lots of emails, messages and notes of support and thoughts, which I appreciate. There are alot of pet lovers out there that completely understand what this is like. My situation might be a tad different cause it happened before my eyes, rather than making the decision to put him down. So I guess thats why my thoughts are dominated right now.

I cried all night and part of this morning. I'm just miserable. Its gonna take a couple of days for me. I'll try to stay away from the net. My folks are coming up later tonight for a visit. I got work tonight as well. A sabo show coming either tonight or tomorrow to bring me some laughs. A breaking the panel on tuesday. Then the massive trip I am taking this wednesday to see if I can make a dream come true. I'm going to try to ignore or deal with the shadow of recent events looming over those things and adjust.

So thanks for the nice words, support and understanding. I'll make with the jokes and rants again sometime soon. But for now, I've got some things to take care of.

Thanks everyone.

Luvs, T