First episode of my new podcast "IN THE TRENCHES" is live on talkshoe and should be available via Itunes very soon. I plan to have a new DRUNKEN DVD COMMENTARY track available as sometime this week when the wife and I can sit down and watch something.
The wife went out of town with her friends last night. I'm glad she is able to get out and enjoy some fun once in a while. Perhaps I can too later on today or tomorrow. I think everyone needs a break from time to time. Only so much I can talk to a three year old about. (a three year old who jibbers back too!) But still, he's cute and I'll miss him five minutes after I leave the house.
I got Commissions galore and also I got word I've been accepted onto another sketch card set. I will say what it is when I get the cards and sign whatever needs to be signed. Trust me, its cool. Horror movie related, I'll say that. Also I think around the 12th, I can share publicly some of the cards I did for THE WALKING DEAD set through Cryptozoic. And right around then the CBLDF LIBERTY set should be out. I did 200 cards for that one. For more info check out Cryptozoic right HERE. And thanks to JAY DURDEN for his leads to Sketch Card work for me. Appreciated beyond belief.
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Tomorrow is the 10th year anniversary of Sept. 11th here in America. I've been skimming the pics and videos to remember it. I think my experience that day was quite different than everyone else. I was in college at the time and was living out in the country with my friend Ted at his house (Ted from PLEASANT LIFE fame). I decided to skip class that morning and sleep in till about 9 or 10. I get up and Ted is arriving home. He says "Hey, you been listening to whats been going on in New York?" I had no idea. I slept through the whole thing. I was oblivious as the world had changed. We turned on NPR. We didn't have cable that far out and TV was the shittiest reception ever. We listened to the radio and police scanner back in those days mostly. I preferred it that way. Anyway, listened to NPR and got filled in on everything. My immediate reaction was anger. Not cause of what had been done to us, but because I knew what would happen. I said that people would try to profit on it. There would be TV movies of the week, sales of God Bless America shirts would go up, race hatred would be abundant, etc. And I was partially right. For months after that you couldn't buy a flag for less than a couple hundred in the stores, when the day before they were on discount at Big Lots. Hell, I remember my bank was selling them for $150! Insane. There were pins, shirts, hats. All sold. Country music stars stepped up and sold millions of records of sappy songs. And a couple years later, United 93 and The World Trade Center movies came out. I didn't see them. In fact, I never watched any footage of the attack itself. I had it described and saw some pics here and there but I never bothered to see it. I know. Everyone else was huddled around the TV crying but I did not. That was my reaction. I wanted to just live on and try to find some comfort in the "closeness" that was going on behind the sales and scenes.
The race hatred was at an all time high. It still is. I was working at a video store at the time and a group of Middle Eastern students always came in and rented stuff. I chatted them up a lot too. They had good taste. That week, one of them came in alone and was quietly browsing. I watched other customers mumble and point at him. I asked if he needed help renting something and we talked for a long time about this or that movie. Then I saw him tear up. He turned to me and said "Hey, thanks for being nice to me. People have been yelling and shouting at me all day." Dumb, I asked him why. He gave me a look like, "Um, look at me, dumbass." I apologized and said "hey, I guess a lot of us yankees are just idiots. Forgive us. Hang in there." But he rented his films and left. Later on, my boss there was looking up his account and saw he rented CON AIR and CLIFFHANGER before and wanted to turn him in as a possible terrorist. I was agape. Utter amazement. I also worked at a gas station part time then. The owner was trying to sell it. I heard several of my co-workers say that they hoped no Arab bought it. As if one would want a crappy gas station in the village of Beal City, a population of 200 farmers, that doesn't even have its own zip code. Yeah. Its a real terrorist target all right...
Then going to college classes my teachers all wanted us to scrap whatever art or creative writing project we were working on and do a "911 Reaction piece." I painted and wrote my normal stuff. I argued that my reaction was not to react. I was looked at like I was an asshole. I just didn't want to go into all of it. It was a conflicted time and I was angry at what I was perceiving us to become.
Years later now, I think back to it all. We're still the same. Profit. Racism. Cynicism, war, death and nothing learned. We still complain about heightened airport security. I say SCAN EVERYONE! If it deters one person from doing something stupid, then good! And we fought unnecessary wars and got into a massive hole of debt we likely will never get out of and use 911 as an anchored excuse to argue with this or that person. Politics pointing fingers, us fighting constantly and we cannot get anything done? I gotta think that is horrible to the memories of those lost that day and since in the wars over there, don't you? Also, isn't the government denying benefits to the families hurt by 911 and the soldiers that fought in the wars after that were "inspired" by it? How is that doing right by them?
Granted, this is not an easy fix and it isn't the time to fix it. It cannot be done right now. But I cannot also discredit the genuine feelings of being one at times. Like during 911, there was a sense of bonding. And the night Osama Bin Laden was killed finally, I felt the same thing. I felt joy. I tried to get others excited about it. And I was met with nothing but cynicism and jokes on the internet about it. Again, WE HAD LEARNED NOTHING. But I recall the foiled attempt to hijack the plane landing in Detroit and how the passengers helped to subdue him. And I remember when I had to fly to San Diego, people said "aren't you scared of terrorists?" I just think look, if something went down, I would rush to stop them. I would take the knife to save others. The heroes of cops, firefighters and medical who arrive to every tragedy early and help save lives. They are urged to work harder and faster because of 911. And they do a fuck of a great job doing it. If anything, I am proud of those things. Perhaps indeed, the lesson was learned by a great few.
911 was just another page in history and we are forever changed. Or are we? Are we worse or better? I fear worse. but I have hope that we can indeed reflect and improve. That we can get better and become one, as one race. I know it definitely won't happen in my lifetime. But one day, humanity will reach it. The endless search for hope. Today, we are not ready. But there's always tomorrow.
A quote from the great American John Wayne: "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday."
T
(PS Please forgive my brutal honesty. I don't want this post to seem a downer. I don't think it is. Hope is never a downer. But I know its a sensitive subject. It was a horrid day and hard to remember. Even by those who tried to avoid it. I hope ya'll understand that.)
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