Bullying.

I saw THIS VIDEO today and I thought I would put my two cents in. There's such a focus on bullying and the damage done nowadays and I think its a good thing.

I was bullied a lot as a kid. I think everyone was to an extent. There's so much pressure in public schools and as a kid. Stuff I was bullied for was my weight (obviously), I moved several times and I was always "the new kid" and of course that kooky religion of being a Jehovah's Witness from the time I was nine till I was 16. Imagine you are the new kid in a school and they make fun of you for being fat. Then when there's a class party for a holiday and everyone is celebrating, you gotta sit out in the hall because you cannot be a part of it. Imagine that. That was me. I was punched, kicked, slammed into lockers, teased, food and stuff tossed at me, spit at, slapped, etc. All of it. It wasn't SUPER bad I think, as to some of the stuff I know others have gone through, but survived it I did.

I think at some point in my brain, I knew how to beat them. I took away their thunder. I could take away their weapons. I began to be an artist. I got better than everyone I went to school with in art, writing, music. I just got better than them. It gave me confidence once I found my niche. Then with this newfound confidence, I channelled it into taking them on head on. They'd come to me and say "oh there's fat Adam." and I'd say "yeah, I'm fat. So what? What else you got? You are obviously the king of observation, what else ya got?" And they'd walk away. I just started to not care about what they said. In fact, when I was teased about my weight, I'd lift up my shirt and say "Oh, you like looking at my fat? Kiss it. Kiss my belly if ya like it so much!" and they'd run away, deflated, defeated. I got laughs all around for it. In fact, in high school I embraced my humor so much that I became a "class clown." I was well liked I think. It was a long time ago. I don't remember. But I remember I had no enemies then. The demons were dead, their venom long seeped into the ground and I stood on their corpses, triumphant.

See, I stole their thunder. I took away the one thing they wanted. Every bully is just looking for a reaction from you. A certain reaction. To make you cry, to make you upset, just to make themselves feel bigger and better. IF YOU DO NOT GIVE IT TO THEM, THEY WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE. Guaranteed. And I know the whole "it gets better" message and believe me, 100% it does. You cope with your perceived "flaws" and focus on the good. I was "fat Adam" back then, and I am still fat now. But I've learned that is not the TOTALIZATION of who I am. I don't have my fat house, fat car, fat computer, fat artwork, fat kids, etc. Its just one thing. And if I feel like conquoring that demon, I can and will. But there's other things about me.

I feel that others have that too. If they tease you because of a thing, it is not the totalization of you. Realize your strengths and ignore them. They matter not. We are given a gift of life of 60-80 years, give or take a decade or two. How you gonna live it? Life is too short to destroy yourself over people or things that don't deserve to be an issue in your life.

There were a few key bullies I had growing up. I've followed up on what happened to them after school. Most got shit jobs, failed marriages and they hate their life. Me? I got a loving home and family, the best job in the world as an artist and I love my life. I have things I wanna clean up and straighten out in it, sure but who doesn't? Thats part of life baby. And its worth living. So yeah, it gets fucking better. Soooo much better! And if I could tell little Adam that, I would. But I have a feeling he knew. Cause he overcame them. He took away the bullies' power. He showed them that he didn't care. And he grew and he changed. He stood up for himself. I got into a couple fights to defend my honor, and I whipped their asses. Me. The biggest wuss on the planet! But I did it. I slayed the demons of the past. and I never think of those people. Never. Not cause I avoid wanting to, but just cause I don't need to. Never have. The former things, have passed away.

To avoid being a bully yourself: Treat others like you want to be treated. Don't go quickly to anger. Control your emotions. Friendly tease your friends but don't cross the line. Don't give into hate. (that leads to the DARK SIDE, I know...) Learn to laugh at your mistakes or laugh at yourself. And know the difference between teasing and bullying. Friendly teasing is one thing. I tease people I care about. Its just how I am, but I never cross the line. I respect the line. A friend is someone who knows your faults, but loves you anyway. Never forget that, folks. But no matter what, you treat others like you would treat yourself, don't take shit off anyone and be one of the good guys. Cause there are way too many of the bad guys.

But this raising of awareness is good. I say it should continue. It will never stop bullying however. The only thing that can stop it is the person being bullied. Learn how to gain confidence and then take away the venom of the snake. Once that is gone, they have NOTHING. Its that simple. If you need help, get help. Speak out. Please speak out. Don't do something stupid and kill yourself. That is not an option. Never an option. the pain you cause to those who do care (whether you know it or not) is a million times worse than the pain you think you feel now. Instead, be the hero of your story. Thats all we want in life isn't it? To be the hero of our story. Conquor the demons, slay the dragon and walk away into the sunset of happiness. It can be done. I did it. So can you.

Stay hungry, Stay Foolish.