Some Time Off?

Hey friends.

I keep threatening it and I have felt it for a long long long time. I'm still mulling it over. You know, taking a break from it all. I think I've earned it.

I've gone through some shit. I'm coming into happiness in many ways. But there are still some things I need to take care of. Health-wise mostly. I am starting to see a therapist. I need some perspective. I need some clarity. I need some peace.

Basically I need to take care of things. Its all a part of the big process. Its no big deal. But it has me seriously thinking about changing my time table up. I hold myself up to such high standards and almost impossible schedule of production. And so far, I haven't met it. I started out this year so hyper productive, only to settle into a part of nothingness here in the 4th quarter. It saddens me that I have had to delay my plans... all self imposed plans, but still, you get my point. I wanted Starslam 2 done. I wanted to be into making Pleasant Life 2 and my tell all porn store book. I have the pinup book as well, and a horror anthology. And another erotica anthology, and..and...and...

Big plans. But time doesn't allow it to happen. I force it, instead of enjoying it. 

BUT--- Production has continued. I am still coloring on Starslam 2! Check it out:

The opening page of the book!

No superhero book is complete without a big monster fight!

The gang is all back!

As it comes together, it looks great! I'm very proud of it. I can't wait to see it finished. But I know my heart isn't into working at the moment. It saddens me that the thing I love the most is the thing I want to take a break from. It makes no sense. I hope its another passing phase. I seem to go through it a lot. When I finally seem to hit my stride and get a good thing going, I lose the momentum and want to waste time just taking in new media or making a model kit. Shouldn't I be ashamed of that wasted time and instead channel that into getting things done? Its a vicious circle.

And the noise! Its so noisy out there lately. Its the upcoming election. The idiots are louder now. There's tragedies in one place after the other and everyone is misinformed. I tire of the arguments and the general noise. That is why I quit Twitter. That's why this week I decided no more Facebook. I'm gonna step away for a while. Only gonna post there when I have a new blog post up. I deleted the links in my phone. I haven't kept up. Instead, I watched some netflix. I read other sites. I tried news sites and online comics. I find it helps me. Maybe my Facebook addiction can be cured. That would help for sure! Too much noise. I need some quiet.

That's why I want to try a different approach. Get therapy. Talk to someone. Can't hurt. I start next week. I got a list of things I need to sort out and deal with. No shame in it. Lots of people I know have had to take a step back and take care of things, mostly themselves.

I know the work is strong. I want the work to continue and come out like I know it will. But perhaps I need to allow myself some more time. For myself. A treat? Can I allow myself that luxury? Will you folks hate me if I do? What if I took a year off from comics and writing. Just vegged out on the couch watching TV and movies, and reading books. Taking walks and learning new skills. Working hard at the day job and saving money. Spending time with my boys and travelling? Could I do that?

I am not sure I can answer that. All I know is how I feel. Right now I feel burned out. Tired. Fried. Just overall dumb. I need a change of pace. Ya feeling me?

But not is all bad though. I'm feeling okay and looking okay. Some recent-ish pics of myself prove it so...

Might be my first in the mirror selfie.... How can someone who is supposed to be so much happier, be so miserable? I gotta find out what is kicking around up there in that spine flower.

My Dan Aykroyd haircut. Ouch, they butchered me!

I'm strongly considering these things. No decision to be made. I just need to feel it out. Talk it out. But I am gonna abandon all expectations and just veg out and heal. I need to. Definitely.

Thanks for listening to me. Hope you guys have a great holiday season. Check back soon!

T