Days Drifting By

Hello my friends. Welcome back.

Well, we're into 2016 and so far the world hasn't blown up... yet. Wait til closer to election time. Man is it gonna be a year of online back and forth. I should go ahead and quit the facebook already. But who am I kidding? I self impose breaks from it and it lasts about a week. Its just too convenient an outlet to make your voice heard to those who care about you and to keep in touch with those who might. I think I've weeded out all the bad apples pretty much. I'm lucky in that when my friends do have differing opinions, that they don't vocally try to smash what I say, and I don't do it back to them. Tis a good thing to make your voice heard. But ultimately, its at the voting booth where you need to be the most vocal. Write in your choice and use your voice. Its our right. But be assured of the facts and not just what you hear. Do some research and soul searching. Kay?

I've been hip deep into long work weeks. My sleep is all over the place and I'm pretty out of it most of the time. All my free time is mostly gone so I try to stay sane during the hours at the job. But I've been coming up with lyrics and new song ideas for a new Idiothead project. I've also been listening to some new music like Big Black, Shellac, Peaches, Neal Morse stuff, Gwar, etc. And out of those things are coming new ideas. Shane and I are talking daily about doing some new recording and we already got a date lined up to get together and see what we can get done. My initial idea is to re-record a couple of our older tunes, clean up some old ones and record some new ones. I plan to maybe get an amp and some effects pedals possibly for the house soon. Been a long time since I sold my amp and I need a new one. A small one, but one I can use with Garage Band. Its wonderful what you can do nowadays. But rest assured, new music is finally coming. I got the bug to record, big time. I haven't recorded an album since 2005. Took 11 years, but I'm back to it. Most of you probably haven't heard any of my band's recordings. But you will. This year we'll make it happen. I'm picturing digital downloads, possibly even a vinyl release. HUGE expense that might not pay off, but fuck it. To have a vinyl record of my songs? That would be awesome! We'll see.

I had my kids three days over New Years. Its amazing how much they are growing up. My oldest son turns 16 February 2nd. That's just... wow! Hopefully the weather cooperates and I can trek over to see him soon. But the boys are all doing pretty well...

I know what you are thinking... what about the COMICS!?!?!?

Well, its still going. Slowly. I get a few pages colored here and there and then stop. Last week I inked a few more pages and light penciled a couple. I'm still rolling. Just not as intense as I used to. I'm sure soon I will get back into a rhythm. I've just been working a lot of hours at the day job and when I have had free time over the holidays I was always doing something. Not a bad thing to make new memories and have new experiences. I need that in my life.

The death of Lemmy from Motorhead really has got me down a bit. I was reading some quotes from him the other day and he said, "Nobody seems to enjoy themselves anymore. They are all knocking each other down for enjoying themselves." Reminds me of all the click bait articles and back and forth about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Like, no one can just go and have a good time anymore or enjoy things on a basic level. I've been guilty of over analyzing things. Shit, that's my middle fucking name! But the noise of people wanting to just shit on everything is just too much sometimes. It seeps into our brain and makes us jaded assholes. If you let it. Just be mindful that things could be so much worse and we could be getting utter shit for entertainment. Be grateful for what we have, and that we even get to take part in it. There's always something good to take from something.

For example: Everyone dislikes the Star Wars prequels right? Well, still, we got some great new John Williams music out of the movies. So there's that. See? Just try to come to the table and enjoy some of what you are served. Don't gorge and hate yourself for it. Sample and try. Cause you get to.

Shifting gears back to me: I am slowly coming out of the major depression I have been in since October. Things are getting better and thank Christ for that. I'm trying to keep on the positive path every day. I'm doing a lot of reading and soul searching. Necessary. Hopefully this continues. I want it to. The world needs me around to kick its ass into gear. And the drive and desire is slowly returning. Things are looking up and that's a damn good thing. I have goals and the ideas and want to achieve them. I think the next few months of my life are going to be very interesting.

One thing I have in my head is this extreme desire to own my own home. My credit is shot. My chances are slim, but one day within five years at the most, I want to be a home owner. I have tons and tons of photos of what I want the interior to look like. I watch a ton of home buying and renovating shows. I'm addicted to it. I want the pride and the safe zone of owning something big like that. Something that is MINE and cannot go away. I have outlined a plan to get it done. It is doable. And if the drive is strong enough, it will happen. I want a place for my kids to sleep, rather than the floor. I want a place I can paint and decorate myself, how I want it to look. I show off my ideas and people make fun of me for my tastes. But that's okay. My dreams cannot be squashed in this. I'm gonna make it happen. Mark my words here: within five years, I will own my own home. Fuck renting and apartments. I'll mow my lawn with pride! I'm gonna earn that for myself. Fuck yeah.

Anyway, those are all my thoughts lately. My brain is happy and things are rolling along. I'm tired but still driven at the end of the day. I'm sad but I'm smiling.

Sometimes that's all you need to get you through.

Cheers, T