First of all, had a relaxing weekend. Took my girl shopping and we spent time on the lake, taking in the smells and relaxing in nature. Much needed. Saw my boys on Sunday. I plan to have them for three days this coming Memorial Day. I'm looking forward to it. I'm letting life sort of drift along at its own pace since the smoke from STARSLAM 2 is clearing. Its kind of nice.
However with this relaxation comes some stress! Tried to leave work last night and my car was dead! I think it is the starter. Its at the shop now. Hopefully I can get it in and fixed before I have to work today! So it goes.
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I was able to watch the pilot episode of PREACHER. My favorite comic series of all time finally comes to TV! Overall, I'd say I really liked it. Some departures from the comic but I like what they are doing. I think the guys who play Arseface and Cassidy really steal the show. We'll see how it all unfolds. Been waiting YEARS for this show to happen. I'm gonna enjoy the ride.
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Let's get personal:
I find myself in a unique position lately. Now that I sort of rebuilt my life, finished Starslam 2 and bested myself in all these things, I find I'm standing here saying: "What next?" But also: "WHY?"
I got other comics and novels I want to finish very soon, but I find myself looking beyond that. Beyond the work. Into my day to day life and how I want it to change. I've been busy "nesting" for my new apartment I am moving into this August. I've got a lot of new posters, prints and photos all in new frames and ready to hang up. I've been getting lots of dvds, video games and vinyl to entertain myself with. Next I'm looking at furniture and just saving for it all. The day in August when I move cannot come fast enough! I'm itching for the change.
But beyond that, I have been thinking a lot about life goals and where I want to be in say, three years. Some things are for sure:
1- Anna 2, Pleasant Life 2 and Starslam 3 all will be done.
2- I will publish at least two of my written novels I have almost completed.
3- I will be down 100 pounds.
4- I will keep earning higher pay at the day job and saving. (401k and personal savings)
But #5 would be that I want to own my own home around then. My coworkers are all younger than me and are home owners. I find myself yearning for my own yard to mow and a place to plant flowers and a vegetable garden. I think I've earned that. I dream of what it will be like and how I can make it happen. What it will look like. WHEN it can happen, etc. I need space in the future for the kids to stay and play in. For me to play in. A big backyard to play in, cook out and have a bonfire. A place to really relax and feel sane. My own private Xanadu.
It will take a while to get to that point because my credit is shot. And I'm under the shadow of this bankruptsy thing I went through a couple years ago. It takes time to build. I've built a lot since last year. And it continues. My mission is life is to beat and succeed myself. I've done great so far.
Starslam 2 is now the highest pre-ordered book I have ever done. I am doing well and my work now and things are rolling smooth. My art goals are shifting to stay in the indie crowd and back away from trying to please the pop culture driven aspects of it. The work evolves, as do I.
But doing these things is not easy. Especially with so much anger and noise in the world. I am addicted to it. I find it hard to unplug from it all. But unplug I must. So I announce the following:
I’m taking a self-imposed hiatus from the internet. All
social media will cease for a little while. I’m unplugging. No Facebook or
Twitter. I may post a blog or a podcast every now and then, but mostly, I’m just going to
stay away. I will not be checking in, either. I am handing over all my Facebook
and Twitter stuff to my girlfriend. She is changing the passwords and locking
me out. I cannot be trusted to disconnect on my own. So really, I will not be
checking in. I will not get your messages.
It will be longer than a month. Probably a few months. If
not maybe even a year. I cannot honestly say. But it will be a while.
Why and why announce it like this? Well, simple: Its time
for me to unplug a bit and take a vacation. There’s a lot of noise in the world
and I let it seep in. I let it effect me. I’m stressed and I am just tired.
I’ve worked very very hard over the last couple years to sort of reestablish my
life and get on solid ground. I’ve also worked very hard to get Starslam 2 done
and get back out on the road doing comic conventions and appearances. I’ve
achieved extreme success in all of these things. I’m very proud of what we’ve
done. Starslam 2’s sales and numbers beat everything I have ever done before. I got my home life stable and happy.
I won.
I made it.
Now, I promised myself some ME time. Some sanity. I need
time to back away from it all.
Maybe I will be working on another project. Maybe I will
take a day to watch a flick, play video games, write music or lounge around
reading a book. Maybe I’ll spend time with my loved ones. But one thing is certain:
I’m not going to drive myself as hard. I’m going to take the time to unplug and
chase the whimsies and find some sanity. I’m going to work on my health (mental
and physical) and just work on my happiness without worrying about staying
public with every step I take, and trying to stay in the public eye.
I think I’ve earned a break.
I say all this publicly not to be all “LOOK AT ME!” I do it
to let you all know why I’m not replying or being active. I also know it will be a challenge. I
will miss
all of you. And I know that I am addicted to the noise. It will be weird
to not
be as connected and plugged in. But I think of how I was back in the day
before
all these things and how I was just fine even then. I will be alright, I
assure. It is a demonstration of extreme discipline of myself and that
is something I need to do. I need to focus on myself, happiness, work,
etc.
If you need to reach me, email me at phymns@yahoo.com - That’s the best way. I
will not have access to anything else.
Also: you are welcome to keep up with my blog here at
idiothead.com – I will try to post every now and then to let you know I’m still
alive and how I am doing. And there will be links on the FB, but nothing beyond that, letting you know a new one is up. But the posts will be irregular and you’ll just have
to check in when you think of me. The Podcast will also be as irregular.
Maybe I’ll do one, maybe not. Just depends. But for now, all I know is that I
need a break. And with as much anger and fighting as there is about pop culture
things, political things… its not a moment too soon! Maybe we ALL could use a
decompression from the noise!
I urge all of you to pursue happiness and sanity in your own
lives and make some space for you to be happy. Take some time to smell the
flowers. Read a book. Look at the moon at night. Just… LIVE. Cause that’s what
I am going to do.
When the smoke clears I assure I will be well rested, calmer
and ready to show A LOT of new shit to the world. I just had one of the most
successful years in my professional writing/illustration career. And You ain’t
seen nothing yet!
Let me go dream it all up again.
See you soon.
Hailing frequencies closed… for now.
--T
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