First up, MY BOOK SALE ENDS THIS FRIDAY!!! Get any of my five available graphic novels for only $10 each! Orders over $30 get entered to win my old 6x3 Anna Pocalypse Convention Scrolly! Order by clicking right HERE
Also, My COMMISSION SALE (BUY ONE GET ONE FREE) ends Friday as well! Get info on commission instructions and pricing right HERE
Lastly, I hope you still listen to my podcast, the IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW. On the latest episode, I revealed a lot about projects to come! Give a listen right HERE
In that episode, it gets interesting toward the end. I reveal what the "SECRET PROJECT" I've been talking about is. And on Facebook the other day, I posted this image:
And I typed the words: "The timetable is set. The final push. The end is near. And I'm fine with that. Its time."
You know what? I think I mean it. I give room for that concept to gestate, but I do think that I do see a big change coming after some things finally get done cooking. My goals have evolved and I just don't have the passion and sanity for some things anymore. Maybe I'm finally growing up? Who knows.
So is this some thinly veiled message that I am quitting comics?
Well, not in the way you'd think. I still have some things I want to do. There are stories I promised. Stories that are too good to never do anything with. I got five major projects to get done:
ANTHOLOGY NOVEL, PORN STORE TELL ALL NOVEL, PLEASANT LIFE 2, STARSLAM 3 and the "SECRET PROJECT."
I forsee all of them being done by next year's end. I've made projections and promise dates for me to get these things done, finally. After that, I have a clean slate. I don't know what is coming. And for some reason, I don't fear that. But I know that after all my projects I've wanted to accomplish are completed, I will have to do heavy promotion for them and take them out to the people somehow. Online, in person, etc. Somehow, someway.
Or is this all about me? That I want to finish the job? Who knows...
This latest book sale I have done has encouraged me. Lots of people are taking advantage and grabbing copies of Anna and Pleasant Life... whereas my highest sellers are usually the Starslam books. Its great to see that! I've worked hard on all the books that I've ever done. And I've kept it all to myself to reap the benefits or failures of whatever I set out to do. Its been an interesting ride in my life.
But now, I desire new challenges. I'm getting older. I find that I struggle to get to the table and layout stuff anymore. I am more into spending time with my friends and family than alone at a drawing table. Some days its easy and I feel that old spirit return to me. I feel like, "Holy crap, I'm ok. I'm BACK!" Only for it to be gone for another month after that. The waves of creativity are fewer and fewer. I don't know whats causing it.
I've thought a lot about it and I think some of it has to do with the death of my friend. As much as I want to embrace what precious time I have been given and keep striving toward my dream, I know now that it all can end in the blink of an eye. Part of me feels like, "well, why bother then?" Its really taken the wind out of my sails. The only thing keeping me going is the fine folks like you who still support the work, still download the podcast and read this blog. Otherwise, I don't know if I would continue any of this.
When I was young I felt a fire in me. I was so so driven to do my comics and I didn't lust after success or fear failure. I just did it cause its what I wanted to do. Now, I don't know what I want. I know the dream of making it "big time" in comics is most likely never going to happen. I accepted that a long time ago. All I ever wanted to do with my stuff is carve a nice corner of the world and have faithful followers and supporters. You guys. I feel like I got that. I do wish there were more people who would join us, but it is what it is... right now anyway.
In all of this, I sound defeated. I don't intend that. Every artist I know is struggling in some way. Its part of the gig. I get that. All I can do on my end is keep my promises. You WILL see everything that I have been promising to release. And very soon. I just want to clean the slate, push it out the door.... all while doing the BEST I ABSOLUTELY CAN on all of it. And now I got coloring help, there is no excuse for me not to. I want to enjoy the ride again. I want to feel the fire of doing it. That "Eye of the Tiger" if you like. I really want to.
Maybe I'm scared that its all over for me. Like how I don't enjoy going to conventions anymore and all my favorite creators don't do much anymore. Artists have changed and evolved the tools and I'm still on paper and pencil. Everyone I felt close to is out of the trenches and on to their own success and forgot people like me. I feel that all the time.
No matter. All I can do is keep my corner clean and finish the job I set out to do. So, I've made a personal time table and I will finish ALL my projects by next year. And we'll see what comes after that. I'm going to continue to do what I've always done and keep on living this life the only way I know how. Cause what else am I going to do?
The stove will be empty by next year. And I know you will all enjoy what meals I've been preparing all this time.
Thanks for caring and reading, my friends.
--T
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