Sleep, Interrupted

Hello friends.

It is the early morning. I've been up since 6am, dealing with a howling kitten. Hardly a kitten at a year old next month. She keeps meowing in the early mornings and we cannot figure out why. My poor girlfriend spent all night last night with her letting me get the three hours of sleep I could get before I had to get my kids in the a.m., so I took the bullet this morning for her. So it goes.

Reminds me of the days when my kids were just babies and I was on a rotation helping with sleep, sacrificing my own sleep to make sure things ran as smoothly as they could. I'm always happy to help others get what they need. But with my lack of sleep, I sometimes feel really out of it and overall, just dumb. I hope it stabilizes soon. 

Still, she sure is a cute kitty: (We decided ultimately to name her LILY (Munster) by the way....)

The kids seem to like her too. And she didn't run and hide from them yesterday either!

She even hangs out on my desk while I'm working, like other cats I've had. I've missed that.

Its these kind of mornings where I like to just brew a pot of coffee and get some writing done. I got so many projects going on that I just have no idea where they are and what I need next for them. I would like to kick one of these novels out first, but the art on comics I am doing seems to plague me. It feels like I have struggled to find a good rhythm all year on these things. Early in this year I was steady on it to finish Starslam 2 for the Kickstarter. But then I started on #3 and its been one day of work a month. Its no way to keep things going. The stories, scenes and characters keep playing in my head but my productivity to get it out onto paper beyond writing various notes and things in the margins of the script is my Sisyphus Rock. I even took a hiatus in the summer, and have been pulling the cord to restart the engine ever since.

I took a day off yesterday after the kids left. I caught up on some much needed sleep and then I watched Trainspotting for the first time in a long time. I guess I'm really stoked for the sequel. Then I watched the Eight Days a Week documentary, followed by some new South Parks. I've been re-reading old comics and Mad Magazines for a bit now. I placed an order on Amazon today for some used books. Some famous location scouting books, an indie novel publishing/formatting guide, a comic I think Kitty D will enjoy and a couple other things.

As if I need more books to read. I got about six of them in various stages of dissection and haven't picked them up in a while. Right now I'm reading "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron, two Neil Gaiman short story books, "Digging up Mother" by Doug Stanhope and a couple others.

On the TV Front I'm slowly trying to go through the new seasons of South Park, Eric Andre and Stranger Things. I keep stop-starting. I also got about twenty newer albums of music from bands I love to dissect. I haven't even touched them.

Would be nice if I could actually FINISH something, eh?

I guess I just never have time to devote to these things. Or maybe my mind is so cluttered that I cannot focus. I am working lots of hours at the day job now as we are into heavy overtime. I am constantly running here and there. I am hoping now that 2016 is dying down and that the election bullshit is over, I can find some mental stability to accomplish these things, professionally and entertainment-wise.

Something somehow seems to zap my attention span or overall interest in anything anymore. Most of the time it seems like I am just drifting through. Wake up, do some minor shit, go to work for 10 hours, go pick up Kitty D, come home and struggle to sleep. I just feel drained all the time. I don't know what I need. A vacation? A nice holiday? I'm not sure.

Over Thanksgiving week I have a couple days to myself. I am forcing myself to do nothing and just relax. I really need to. One of the days I am getting my kids for a couple hours, which is fine. But other than that, I really need to just get away from it all, including myself. How I do that in my own home, remains to be seen. I plan to just cook a huge ass Thanksgiving meal and eat leftovers for three days in an attempt to just shut myself in and relax. Okay, MAYBE I'll put the Xmas tree and decorations up! (You know I will...)

Well the kitty has quieted down and my eyes are glazing over again. Perhaps I'll attempt a mini nap on my new couch. Let's hope I can at least accomplish that!

--T

P.S. Here is some nice bit of therapy. Please take 25 minutes to watch this. Especially the end. Fuck 2016.