Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Your Own Ruler

As an artist, it is easy to beat yourself up and say that you do not matter. You do. You make art? You matter. It is that simple.  No matter how much you hate yourself for not achieving this or that, or being this person or that person, you have to remember that in art there is no standard for success or even being a complete person. The only one you are measuring up against is yourself. If you keep losing, it is because you are reaching too impossibly high and you will always fail against this.

We spend so much time dwelling on the things we have not achieved but never look at what we HAVE achieved. It took a lot for you to get where you are. We need to dwell in that a bit more. Not in a TOOT YOUR OWN HORN/ENJOY MY EGO kind of way, but just acknowledge what you have done to be who you are today. It is important. Do it. Make a list. Because you are your own ruler and you need to know how you measure up to only one thing: Who you WERE and who you are NOW. 

My list:

I have 24 years in self publishing.  

I have published 14 graphic novels, all over 84 pages at its smallest. 550 at its biggest. 

I have published 16 individual one shot comics. 

I have collaborated with a few folks to make their comics come to life... for no pay. Just the satisfaction of helping and making things happen for someone else. 

Over ten years podcasting on Talkshoe.com. Including 505 episodes of my own personal podcast. 

On this blog you are reading now, I have wrote and posted over 17,000 posts. All published online for free. 

I maintain social media presence through Facebook and Twitter, as well as a few videos on the youtube. 

I have co-wrote, recorded and released three albums of music with my best friend and there is more to come. 

I have done small story and pinup work with several different companies. 

I have many satisfied commission customers all across the globe who own a piece of mine or had a request fulfilled at very low prices.

I got a college degree while writing, drawing and publishing my own work.

I have been a part of over 22 sketch card sets with big properties such as: Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Avengers, Xmen, Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, The Titanic, Mars Attacks, The Walking Dead, Night of the Living Dead and others. 

I have toured the United States over 20 years selling my artwork at various comic book conventions and trade shows.

I have done big scale erotica work for a large gallery in Switzerland, satisfying many customers with my large pictures and drawings of fetish work. 

I have six successfully funded Kickstarter campaigns. 

I have never forgot where I came from, nor have I ever turned my back on anyone who helped get me there. I am always grateful and reflective to people or places who helped shape me and where I am today.

I have made some wonderful, deep and close relationships where fans have become friends. 

I do not have any drug addictions. 

I have never screwed over someone or stepped on someone to get what I want. 

I chose art as a way to express myself and have done it through illustration, oil and acrylic painting, radio and video performance, model kit making, pearler bead ironing, cooking, sewing, gluing, collecting and grinding. Most importantly of all: Writing. Like what you are reading now. 

All of this I did while working 1 to sometimes 3 full time jobs at the same time, raising a family and keeping myself sane. (mostly)

Everything I listed and more... this means a lot to me. I have worked very, very, very hard for what I have accomplished. Do I need to be a part of X or Y or win THIS or THAT or be HERE or THERE to feel validation? No. Not anymore. Because all of that is bullshit. And these things above, are all that matter in the end. My own personal ruler. Calibrated to me and my preferences, alone.

And all of the above, folks, is just the beginning.... There is so much more to come, before the long TREK is over!

Lets do it.


1 comment:

Caleb & Jen said...

You've managed to make all sorts of fun ideas and adventures come to life for us, crafting stories that allowed us to be heroes and live out our dreams. You are like a wish-granting genie, the kind of person who makes dreams come true.

I think every kid grows up wishing to be a superhero. You made that actually happen. You are amazing.