10-The Perfect Mate - RIKER ADMITS HE'S GONNA GO JERK OFF. Released early from her protective bubble, a metamorph played by Famke Jansen gets loose and her endorphins effect all males near her. Uber horny Riker takes her to her quarters. BIG MISTAKE! She makes a huge solid pass at him and luckily for him, he thinks with the right brain and decides to keep his job. But on the way out, he calls to the bridge to inform them to cover his shift while he runs to Holodeck 3 right quick. Why did he go there? TO JERK OFF! Or fuck some hologram version of the Metamorph. Either way, I hope he made it there before he shot in his pants.
9- Starship Mine - DIE HARD IN SPACE. Picard tries to take down some space terrorists alone on the ship. There's him acting like a scared nobody and escaping, to him suiting up and preparing weapons and talking shit into the communicator to the terrorists, complete with some one liners and smug "in your face terrorist!" moments. All thats missing is a "Yippie Kayay Motherfucker" to top it off.
8- First Contact. - RIKER FUCKS AN ALIEN TO ESCAPE. Yes. In the episode known as First Contact, (not to be confused with the later TNG movie) Riker wants to escape this hospital housing him as an alien invader. The nurse watching him agrees to help...only if they fuck. Riker tries to resist, but she insists on knowing what "his sex organs look like." Wow. Yet another notch on the bedpost of William T.
7- Angel One. - RIKER AS A SEX OBJECT. On a planet ruled and governed by females, they treat their males as objects, much like on Earth only reversed. Instead of asking your girl to slip into something more "comfortable" meaning REVEALING, Riker gets the bitch treatment. He emerges showing off his yeti chest, laughing approval of Troi and Yar. But methinks he don't mind showing the chest so he can bang yet another alien chick. Riker is a whore.
6- The Royale. - WORF'S TELEPHONE SKILLS. While investigating a centuries old dead corpse in a room, the phone rings. And I love it when on TNG they encounter old technology, because they never know what it is or how to use it. So Worf, the clown shoe, picks up the phone and answers. Its room service wanting to know if they want anything. Riker says not right now. Worf back to the phone: (a stern and loud) NO! Priceless. Dunno why, it just makes me laugh.
Parts 5-1 are next.
No comments:
Post a Comment