TITANIC!

I wanna talk about this today as its been on my mind a lot. TITANIC. I remember back in 85, when Robert Ballard found the shipwreck and what a huge deal it was. My mom was really glued to the TV watching footage on the wreck findings. We bought this thick coffee table book that had tons of pics and illustrations on the wreck and I looked at it quite often. I was really interested in it for some reason.

But to 1997. The film came out and destroyed all records that had come before it. Instantly the backlash started and sadly, I was a part of it. I remember sitting in the theater watching it and everyone crying at one point, even my girlfriend at the time. I just sat there not into it at all. While I thought the crash stuff was pretty cool. She thought I was a cold, heartless asshole. I had a friend who literally saw it in the theater SIX TIMES. The song was constantly on the radio. You know the one. It was inescapable. And all my pals hated on the flick. "It dethroned Star Wars as the #1 highest selling move of all time and thats bullshit!" they'd say. But we were up against the entire world. Everyone loved that movie. But me, I was indifferent. I thought Cameron was a bit of a prick with his Oscar "I'm the king of the world" speech. I just wasn't into it.

Cut to years later, I am still interested in the TITANIC itself. We were at a museum recently and I saw an advert for a traveling TITANIC exhibit. I was making plans to come back and see it. I am just interested in the ship and the history of the even that occurred 100 years ago this month. As I seem to recall, we had one of the survivors from Titanic come and speak at my school once when I was a kid. I barely remember. So long ago.

Last I knew, the love story in the 1997 film version was sappy, unrealistic and horribly written. Some of the character motivations were off and made no sense. And horrible lines like "The ocean is like a woman's heart" type of mush. But I am wondering now if that was just me grasping at straws of reasons to hate on it. I am interested in re-visiting TITANIC and see what I think now, that my young jaded idiot person I was has now faded from me. I wanna re-watch it with some fresh eyes. Its been 15 years since I've seen it. Almost half my life. So why the hell not, eh?

I was recently working on sketch cards for a set revolving around TITANIC and the wreck of it. I watched documentaries on the sinking via youtube and was reminded of what interested me in the ship in the first place. And for the first time, I really felt sad about it. It was beyond just reading about history. I could see myself there, going through that night. What would I do? Could I load the bots and kelly on to a boat and be brave enough to face my death via the worst way I know how to go? I have an extreme fear of the water and drowning in particular. How would I want it to end if I knew 100% that I was going to die that night? Just jump and get it over with? curl up on my bed and wait for the water to rush in and take me? Or pick up and instrument and play along with the band? A few of the moments from the film that I loved come back into my mind. Like when the band played on, or the priests' delivery of the line "and there will be no more death" and the shakiness of how he says it. Or the elderly couple in bed holding each other as the end draws near. Or when they are kissing and it dissolves into that shot of the real Titanic all rusted up. Or (spoilers) when Jack dies and she lets him go and he falls into the water, his face disappearing into the dark forever. Its a haunting image.

All I can remember about the flick are the good parts. So maybe, yeah. Its time to re-watch it. I might even buy it. Why the hell not, eh? If anything, its to remember that 100 years ago this month, one of the worst tragedies happened and now that I am old enough, I can truly see it for what it was. Jaded Adam is gone and all that remains is real Adam. So let's do it.

BTW, I got the Titanic soundtrack and I've always liked it. James Horner, bitch!