The Social Media Dilemna (AGAIN)

I swear, if I didn't need things like Twitter and Facebook for business purposes, I'd sooooo quit them right the fuck now. They cause more headaches for me than anything else. And its not just the people, its myself. I cannot control myself. I have quit playing FB games over three years ago and I am proud of myself that I could do that disconnection. However I still cannot quit the site itself. Because there are various business groups I am a part of and there are a couple key people in my life who only communicate to me via their FB messages. I don't want to disconnect from them. I value them and the connection to them. The artist world is so lonely sometimes that I need that inspiration and connection that they provide me. Plus we clue each other in on tips, tricks, work leads and more. So I am stuck with it whether I like it or not.

I use social media to connect and to promote my work and sales of my work. Its an essential tool. BUT-in doing this, I don't want to be percieved as a "spammer," only posting things related to me, my work, my sales, etc. No one wants that. Your "personality" must shine a bit as well. This makes you and your brand, a bit more attractive to someone perhaps on the fence about your work. It is a tool that you use to promote YOURSELF and your WORK.

Now, in the past, I've got into heated posting and discussions about what I feel are the injustices of the world. But I've learned that this only leads to petty fighting in the comments feed. I don't want fighting. I just want to come on, state my thing and be done. If people want to fight, go elsewhere. I am not interested in seeing it. We're not going to convince each other. So I've tried to stop posting political rants, and instead post celebretory things about politics. Every so often. (and its rare that I can even celebrate positive things that happen in politics!) For example, last night I posted the good news about Gay Marriage passing in the House of Illinois. Lots of my friends and family are from that state and I thought it would be good to support them and their motherland by giving a social pat on the back. No problem in my eyes. I did not try to fight with anyone. Just came on and said my thing.

I think thats what everyone does with social media outlets. They use it to inform, entertain, rant, etc. And thats their choice. And its OUR choice to ignore or listen to them. I have "friends" in my lists who keep posting the most insane political rants that are full of misinformed nonsense. Do I say anything to them? No. They won't listen. They just want to rant to rant. So to fix that (and my sanity), I block their feed in my newsfeed. They can say what they want to those who want to hear it and I am none-the-wiser. I don't need to fix them. I don't need to "win them over." Just let them be.

It amazes me the amount of times I will post something I think is completely innocent a comment on something so small or insignificant and how people will start trying to fight with me on the comment. I didn't welcome a fight. I am not interested in fighting about anything. I say if you don't agree with me, just take a note that I post things you don't like, block my feed, do whatever you gotta do to keep your happiness. But coming on and starting shit with me? Why? What would be the point of that? Everyone has to be "right." I don't get that. I see posts daily that make me cringe for whatever reason. And not once do I ever post after them saying "No, you are wrong because of such and such." I did in the past and I felt like a big shit-smelling dickhead for doing it. It goes nowhere and only serves to create friction where I don't desire it. I'm always checking myself on that. I'm fighting against the mentality of the social media fight.

Case in point: Yesterday, I posted a cool link I found about how some bands from the 70's have members who are pedophiles, wife beaters and other such things. No one is perfect, but two things are a bit extreme. A "friend" comes on and starts berating me for posting it and challenging me to list one of my favorite bands not on the list. I knew what he was doing immediately. No matter who I posted, he woulda looked them up and tried to toss something at me saying how horrible they are and my "arguement (BTW, I wasn't arguing, but reposting a FACT about a couple bands)" wasn't valid. He wanted to pick a fight with me for some reason, and I completely wasn't interested in it. I shunned it. I had better things to be doing. I'm trying to look up reference for a new page of artwork. I shouldn't have been on FB in the first place. So I posted that I Wasn't playing the game of fighting. And he posts some sort of snide comment that since I opted not to play, I had "lost." Lost what? I wasn't interested in playing dude. I didn't want to fight or win or lose anything. Where did I state that I wanted to? And moreover, what kind of "friend" wants to argue and start shit with you? See, if someone posts something that I don't agree with, especially something as minor as a musical or movie preference, I just ignore it. Cause tastes and reasons for tastes is an individual thing. If someone loves country music and I hate it, but they are posting links saying "I love this song or that song" I don't want to go onto their comments and give them shit for thier choices. But people do. People love to fuck with your day. Why? Whats the point? There is none. Not at all. But people looooove to pick a fight and be right. Over MUSICAL TASTES!!!!! Its silly to me. So silly.

Also this week, a person tried to pull me into what is by my definition, an internal, personal family fight and I am to "choose a side." Well sorry. I am not going to turn my back on a friend. Nor is it my fight. I don't want to be involved. You got something to fight about with them, fight with THEM. Not me. Leave me out of it. I got enough problems on my plate than to be taking on yours. Good luck to you, because its quite a mess.

But maybe the problem isn't someone walking around FB waiting to pick on someone's feed and start shit with them. Maybe its with me. I shouldn't have been posting (or reposting in this case) my opinion on something musical. Maybe I'm the asshole for stating why I don't like a couple bands because the one member raped a 14 year old and beat their two wives. I posted that to inform those who might not know. There's a lot of younger folks on FB who might read it and be informed about it. My pal Andy once put social media as "People looking for these virtual high-fives," and he's right. We all are posting cool things to get on with others. And its the assholes who come in and shit on it. And we call them "friends." Maybe I'm the asshole for continuing to try to be cool about it. Maybe I'm the asshole for caring so much to even write a long blog about it and wrestle with it in my head. Maybe I'm the asshole for worrying too much about hurting others even in such a minor thing as this. But I do because the solitary life of the artist means that whenever we reach out for that "virtual high-five" is sometimes our only outlet into the world beyond our art table. My kids are too young and not much company. I cannot teach them these things yet. My wife is in the other room watching TWILIGHT and I am not into it. But I don't want to shit on what she likes. Because you know what that would make me? An asshole. And the world has enough of those. And I don't want to be an asshole to those I care enough to call "friends." I know sometimes I have been in the past and I don't feel good about it. And I am trying to keep changing that. I'm wrapping my head around the social change we all are enduring. I am just thankful that I am not more popular than I am right now because some of my pals that are, I see the arguements in their feed and man it would make my head spin. I guess I care too much about people to ignore fighting and suffering. Again, my fault. I'm the asshole who cares too much.

Like I said before, if I didn't need things like FB for business and some personal reasons, I'd just leave it. And at times, I really weigh whether I should. It distracts me so much that I sometimes just keep going back to it. I need to cut ties. (if only I didn't need it so bad) I would even pride myself that I made the cut. I am sure others would be envious of me that I did make the cut. I am envious of those who say they don't have a FB. I love it, in fact. I suppose I must control myself more, because it starts with me. I just don't like myself on social media. I hate it. I've lost good friends over FB messages. People have spied on me using it. the harm is starting to deeply outweigh the good. I'd rather make the break and use more time on production. Getting MYSELF right. Getting MY WORK right. and stop the useless arguements. It starts within us. Until the petty things become beneath us. Maybe someday I will have the balls, or the popularity clout to be able to make the break and let go of the fear that the sales of my work would suffer. And my "friends" will always know how to get ahold of me through alternative and much more preferable means.

If I ever wronged you on any social media, no matter how minor the statement, I apologize. I never want to hurt anyone. I don't want to be another asshole. I just want to be me. I'll slap you that virtual high five, buddy. And I promise not to dog you on your choices. Keep informing me. Keep entertaining me. Keep in touch with me. Thats what it should be about.

T