Saturday, January 25, 2020

Unsuccessfully Coping with Turning Older and Dealing with Life's Bullshit

Thanks for coming here for a read, my friends. Gather round as grandpa titillates you with another barely coherent ramble of nonsense from his aging spine flower. I appreciate those who come here and also who stick through til the end of my postings. I wish I could say I do it all for you, but in truth, it is for me. To get things off my chest and rid myself of some of the thinky pain, by sharing my thoughts aloud to the ether and to those who would lend me an ear. I do appreciate it.

I turned 42 this weekend. I received lots of messages of love and appreciation, all of which got a return thank you note. The least I could do. My lovely bride got me the Harlan Ellison book I've been wanting. I'm reading it rather quickly, enjoying every word of it! I got a gift card from my dear father in law, with which I took the wife on a necessary trip to a couple local swap shops, diving deep for physical media to fill our already well fed media shelves. Oh so necessary. I love my gluttonous shelves jam packed with dusty but well loved DVDs, Blu-Rays, Video Games, Books, Records, CD, Toys and anything else I can use to distract myself from the daily grind. I found three vintage in the box STAR TREK TNG figures from Playmates, as well as TMNT (1990) on Blu-ray, BATMAN ANIMATED SERIES season 4 DVD set, yet another JEFF BUCKLEY live Cd (How many of those things exist? I do not know, but they all must be mine), and KING DIAMOND'S "ABIGAIL" on vinyl. Do I need these things? Of course not, but yet I do. Don't judge me. Its how I fill the holes. I also sat down to a lovely lunch/dinner at Logan's Steakhouse, where I had grilled chicken and shrimp. I plan to have a steak dinner with my father in law sometime soon, so I shall savor that moment to come.

All of these things I have used to be a welcome interloper to the stress, anger and depression that has been swirling around my head like a vulture waiting to gnaw on the remaining unspoiled specs of meat. The last couple weeks have been hell. My wife to be has lost a parent and we are coping with all of that. On my side of the fence, my father is having some personal struggles of his own. All of this indeed weighs heavy and sometimes I think I'd rather french kiss a cactus than face it head on. But despite all our distractions, the pain exists and we are working through it. Everyone has been lovely with their messages and gifts of food and comfort. It means the world to us. Thank you so, so, soooo much. That is all I will say about that for now.

I passed out the bad news of the delay of the physical release of STARSLAM RETURNS. Just have had too much going on to finish the things that need finishing to send it to the printer. But for those who are waiting, I do promise (as I always do) to deliver. I appreciate your patience and bearing with me. I also have been busy keeping steady work on the PATREON comics for the year of 2020. Right now I have scanned in all the original art and partially colored the flats for stories that lead all the way through to September. My goal is to finish all the year and get it scheduled, uploaded and done so that I can focus on other things for a while. I want to get PLEASANT LIFE 2 finally launched sporadically on the Patreon, as well as doing some writing. I want to finish one of the 19 novels I have planned/started/almost finished. Seriously, I want to.
I need to.
I shall.
This year.

I have seen the first episode of STAR TREK: PICARD and I am pleased to say that I enjoyed it. I think there are a couple established cannon factoids they didn't address but perhaps those will be answered in later episodes. It feels good to finally be taking the STAR TREK story forward instead of doing another prequel. I detest prequel stories in general. I feel that they fail on all levels, most important of which is living up to expectations. While I sometimes do flashbacks in regular stories, you will never see me do a prequel to anything I ever write. Always moving forward is a good thing. Not just in creative endeavors but also in life.

This week I have taken the time to watch some new things. Movies like RUNNING SCARED, JAY & SILENT BOB REBOOT, and episodes of the classic THE OUTER LIMITS and THE TWILIGHT ZONE. I'm also sitting down to read not only my Ellison book, but the booklets of some box sets I have purchased but haven't dug through as deeply yet. I also got my preordered SONS OF APOLLO album, which I haven't listened to yet. I am currently enjoying a re-listen/re-appreciation of the NEAL MORSE BAND'S "SIMILITUDE OF A DREAM," ALTER BRIDGE "FORTRESS," OPETH "IN CAUDA VENENUM" and other stuff. New stuff I've pre-ordered include the new PEARL JAM and STONE TEMPLE PILOT records. Exciting stuff in music coming!

Currently I am reading ELLISON'S ENDLESSLY WATCHING, UNFUCK YOURSELF by Gary John Bishop and a re-read of DRAGONLANCE: DRAGONS OF AUTUMN TWILIGHT. Its all keeping me sane but most importantly as I said, distracted.

Its been a bumpy road so far this year. In 25 short days, we've had threats of war, a circus of a senate trial, the death of Neil Peart, Terry Jones, my mother in law and other things. I've been dealing with back trouble and up and down eating patterns around the anger/depression of the above things happening. But I'm getting through it. That is the important thing right? I'm still here, trying hard. I'll get it all sorted and figured out someday.

Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you all have it sorted and figured out someday too. It's the goal, right?


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