If the Right (FOOT) Don't Get You.... PLUS: A Timeline to Come!

Hey friends!

Remember that tomorrow is the final day to put in your commission order and then my list closes again. I don't see it opening back up until probably next year sometime. I am just way too busy and limited in my working time allotted, health-wise. So this is your best chance. Already got some sweet takers on some things. I got a couple done and digitally sent already. One BIG one to do: An 18x24 custom made job, but one that will be really cool to do. Then a couple more. But there is room for more. Tomorrow is the LAST DAY to get one in before I close the list. Anything after Saturday will be turned away. I say this with peace and love, peace and loooovvve!

I swear man, if it ain't one thing its another. I've had a couple weeks of hell. From personal woes to financial woes, then to dreams broken, to fighting a head cold for almost two weeks... and now this:

I had to call off work yesterday due to this severe pain in my foot. I didn't want to. It took my last vacation day away. Plus its close to a holiday weekend and I am needed. But I literally couldn't walk at all yesterday. I started off the day before. I just had a pain in my foot and I was limping around. No idea what it was or how it happened. Felt like a strain of some sort. But I did my duty and went to work and limped through it. No big deal. Cut to yesterday morning. I am woken up by the severe pain in my foot. I tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and holy shit... I'm practically crying through the pain. I couldn't stand up! My girlfriend had to almost carry me into the bathroom. It felt like a severe charlie horse in my upper foot. I wrapped it in ice packs and downed Advil all day. I stayed off it and just laid in bed, praying that I would be better by Friday, because of several factors. 

This morning, it is better. I am able to scoot it around on the floor. I can shift my weight to and fro on it. But driving? Long repeated walking through the factory to my office where I work? Not likely. But I can get by. I'm going to keep ice on it all morning and down pills as I can before work and hopefully get through the day. Then Saturday I got my kids. No idea how I will be able to drive and get them, but I will find a way.

Dammit, its always SOMETHING, isn't it?

Oh well. Its not all doom and gloom. This week I've been able to color a lot on newer pages for this side project I am trying to get done. And I finished three more pages on it for a mini story for it. Just a few more things, maybe 10 pages of work on it and then I gotta assemble it all together. The plan is to get the Kickstarter for it up and running by sometime in July/August. Its a collection of erotica stories, pinups and written stories. Stuff I have had around for years and have never released. Stuff I planned for the ill fated Patreon page that I know I can now never get to. And other stuff I have done and has no home. But for those that like my unique humor and drawing of naughty bits, this will be a fun book.

After that, its full speed ahead on Starslam 3 and this:

WISE INTELLIGENCE was a comic I illustrated for Ryan McLelland back in the mid-2000s. We did three issues and a couple side stories together on it. He also did a few other stories with other artists. I suggested that he collect everything together in one big anthology book. So we have been scouring old discs and files and things we'd need to scan to make a complete collection. It will have many pages of art by me and other artists like Dave Lafuente (SPIDERMAN) and Terry Moore (SIP, RACHEL RISING). I might do a new pinup or cover for it, but we'll see on that. Most of my work this time will be assembling it into one cohesive collection and then Ryan will run the Kickstarter for it. But for those that are Adam completionists, you'll want to jump in on that! But more on this book later. I just wanted to let you know what is up with it.

Now, STARSLAM 3 will be Kickstarted before the end of the year. Likely in October/November if all goes well. I am really trying to take my time with this thing and work around the carpal tunnel stuff and deliver the best book I can do to send these characters out to pasture in this final part of the trilogy.

And lastly, looking at 2018:

I will be working to finish PLEASANT LIFE 2 for a summer release. And I got one final comic related project after that to finish it all up. A final, "CAPTAIN'S LOG" book to collect the last few years of pinups, uncompleted projects and one special comic idea that will wrap up the "Adam-verse" in a nice, fun way. I don't want to spoil the surprise but I know it will be fun to do. And a PERFECT way to end my comics' career.

... and then FINALLY on to the novels I've been talking about forever! My porn store tell all book should come out early 2018. End of 2018 will see my short story/poem anthology thingie. And then in 2019, will be my first full fiction novel that I have been working off and on with. The title and premise, I'll save for then. Also in 2019, I decided I will do a final run of 3-4 comic cons one last time to say "goodbye." 2019 will be the 25th anniversary of me doing comics, so it seems like the perfect time do it. A celebration and a goodbye before I hang up the microns, bristol board and wacom pens for good.

WHEW! So yeah... barring any more goddamn health issues, that is my timeline for things to come. Home stretch, folks. Mountains to climb. Things I've promised for years to you and to myself are finally in view on the horizon. We're going to get this done!

... and then figure out what the fuck to do with the rest of my life! HEH. But hopefully, less painful than it has been lately!

Cheers, T

Same Ol Same Ol

Here I am. No worries. Well, some were worried. I got messages from folks who were worried because its not like me to not post a blog twice weekly. I think its been about two weeks since the last one. Even longer for a podcast.

Truth is there's a few things going on and ways to explain my absence:

 #1 My major "production at home" days were Sundays. Now I am down to two of those because I keep my kids Sat-Monday morning twice a month so that knocks two of them out. The other two are usually reserved for some business that I don't have time to do during the week. So I get two nights free a month really. It kind of sucks but so it goes. At least I get to see my boys more. But that means that any time at home to do stuff like that usually takes a back seat. And my two Saturdays free a month involve time with D that we don't get during the week or with friends.... or severely drinking til passing out.

#2 Thing going on is that I am back into a major depression swing. I had to leave my therapist for several reasons and I am seeking a new one. I thought I was through some shit but apparently there's plenty more that has bubbled to the surface to help destroy what sanity I've tried to claim for myself. So I have wrote, but its been in private.... and you don't want to read what I wrote. Here on the blog and social media, I try to stay somewhat upbeat and positive. I'm supposed to be entertaining you folks. All my other writings shows a person in constant fear of rejection, inadequacy and emptiness. Its full of fear at every perceived failure and an endless need for acceptance and meaning. Its not fun to read. But it helps on some level. It gets it out of my brain. But it is easy to spiral down into the hole I've created for myself and just get the stone face.

I've really always been this way. Ever since I was a kid. It is hard to find someone who can deal with me when I'm like this and not take it personally. Thank the lords for Kitty D, who totally understands and helps me cope with myself when I am like this. We have a nice special mixture and can take on the drama when it heads our way. I got some doozies I'm dealing with right now. But she's there and helping me where she can. That is a good feeling.

You always try to dwell in the good feelings.

On the production front, you'll be surprised to know that I have been very productive on comics and things. I penciled ten more pages last week and things are rolling right along. I got a big new batch of pages to send to my colorist and I am coloring my own pages for my other projects too. Perhaps I owe you an update:

STARSLAM 3 - I got 45 pages in the can, complete. Another 22 are ready to be scanned and colored. We're getting into the major points of the storyline. So far there are about 6 major sex scenes... and thats SO FAR. So there is lots of nudity and sex this time around. I'm going all out for this last book!

PATREON R.I.P. - What does that mean? Well, I've done a lot of thinking about it, while still working on pages and things for it, but I decided that I cannot do a patreon. I just cannot guarantee my output with the depression issues and the carpal tunnel now limiting my drawing and writing. Its frustrating but I have to be honest with myself. I'm on a time limit with what I can do and how fast I can do it now.

BUT----- I still got these stories, pinups, written sex stories and things Ive sat on for years now. I decided that I will finish them and collect them in a new tradebook to be launched on Kickstarter. Probably before STARSLAM 3 comes out. Maybe end of summer-ish. I have a title and a premise. Its basically a sex anthology. For those that love my stuff, you'll love it! It will be around 120 pages or so and I cannot wait for you guys to see it. It collects everything erotica that I've done beyond STARSLAM. So that is exciting, right? Look for that soon.

PLEASANT LIFE 2 - I'm still working on it sporatically. I'm trying to decide how I want to get it out into the world. Eventually I'll probably try a Kickstarter to grab new fans for the series... but I do expect the numbers to be less considering it has no titties in it. But expect that next year.

WISE INTELLIGENCE - Remember this? This was a 4 issue mini series that writer Ryan McLelland and I did almost a decade ago. Terry Moore (SIP) did a cover for it even! We decided to get EVERYTHING together for this project and release it via kickstarter. I'm likely going to let him handle that, as I have enough on my plate right now. But I will be putting the book together for him and doing new stuff for it most likely. Will be nice to put a button on that book and have a nice collected trade of those comics that very few have seen! More on this later.

NOVELS -- Right now I got two novels (the short story/poem anthology and the tell all of my porn store days) in production. They've taken a back seat to the comics. I think once those are out my way, I'll get these done. Hopefully by Xmas or early next year. Because I have my first original novel (fiction) that I am itching to work on after that. Its something I've been half working on and writing dialog on for a few years now. Its a great idea and I would love to get it done... but all this other stuff has to get out of the way first. But consider this a tease.

So there ya go. Stuff is happening, despite my depression. I'm alive. Sometimes I'm angry about it, but I am alive. I know, that sounds dark. But I'm just being honest. I am determined to grow out of the depression that happens and continue my work. I'm determined to face everything the universe throws at me. Cause I'm not afraid to face it. I'll certainly bitch about it, but I will face it all. Sometimes, you just have to climb the mountain yourself just to show people that it can be done. I know I inspire others by what I'm doing and I am not going to let them down. I'm not doing all of this for me, I'm doing it for you. I hope you know that.

Anyway, here are some pics of things beyond all this depressing shit. KITTIES!!!!!!!!

Cuteness overload.

Sebastian. We picked the right one I think.

We will miss this Grey goober when she goes to her new home though.

Mommy is still protective.

Scott Bot lounges around.

What do a bunch of thirty something guys do when they get away from the girls for a night? Do they hit the strip club and the hooters? Nope. They have a NINTENDO PARTY! A bunch of my co-workers got together a couple weeks ago on my only night off and did this gathering where we played through Ninja Gaiden 2, Punch Out, Excitebike, Kung Fu and many other games. It was a lot of fun and we're already planning NES championship night 2. 

Lastly, a note a screenshot reminding me that there are some out there who care: 

I thank everyone for their messages and care. I'll be okay, no worries. I'm gonna work with this new therapist and get to a good place with the shit plaguing me. But rest assured... THE WORK WILL CONTINUE!

Cheers, T

Porn Store Book intro!

One of the projects I've been working on for the last couple years is a novel "tell-all" of my days working in the adult industry. Not just at shops, but doing adult artwork and the crazy situations I've dealt with over the years. I do plan to finish this book this year and I hope you are all still interested in reading it. Today, I'm going to share the intro to the book to you here. I did this before a few years ago but it has since been updated. So please, enjoy what will be the intro to my first written novel, coming this year... And goddammit that is a promise!

Enjoy:

___________

PROLOGUE:

11:40 pm. Dec. 31^st, 2008. I’m sitting in the Tiger’s Den sex shop, alone. I couldn’t take another song that our modern rock radio station would play, so I just turned it off to enjoy the silence. Better than that damn Papa Roach or Hinder song again. I’m sitting in the manager’s chair behind the counter, fighting off the depression state that I’m not home with my wife and newborn son to ring in the new-year together. She quit texting me an hour ago. She’s tired and has since fell asleep. The snow was demolishing the ground outside and I had not seen a customer for over two hours. The shop was an isolated place, right off the interstate, nothing major of note nearby. Just a crappy truck stop across the street, and they are all closed up for the night….as every place should be on a holiday like this. I wished I was anywhere else but where I was. I was too bored to read my book I brought, too bored to draw anything. I just preferred the quiet sound of the heavy snow pounding on the roof and the cheap metal wall covering the outside. I wanted to wallow in my lonely pity that I was stuck there on New Year’s Eve, alone.

A light on the security screen out of the corner of my right eye makes me turn to face it. I notice on the camera that a car has pulled up to the building. It slips and slides through our parking lot in the almost foot of snow blanketing its existence. The tracks left behind its tires was an interloper to the beauty of the quiet and untouched snowfall. A man in his late 40’s gets out of the Dodge Durango and heads for the front. The familiar door chime rings and pierces my ears. It is doubly loud when its dead quiet in the store. I nod at his direction, and in my head cursing that he even bothered to trek out into these dangerous conditions for porn he could have easily looked up online for free. But that’s not any way to think is it? Number one rule to retail: Customers are not an interruption to our work, but the purpose of it. I should be thankful I have a job at all in these rough times… so they tell me.

The minutes tick away and I’m silently begging in my head.

“Please don’t let me have to ring him up at midnight. Please don’t let me have to ring him up at midnight.” It becomes a mantra I repeat slowly in my mind as I watch him browse.

While the man walks around the store he keeps glancing in my direction. Anyone in with any sort of retail training knows this look, and it’s a concern that a person might be trying to steal something.  He fiddles with his collar and and a couple quiet sighs leak from his ugly face. I scan his hand for a ring to see if he is married. Yes. Obviously the misses didn’t feel like putting out on a nice night like this so he was coming here to get some porn to hide from her.

As I continue my Hercule Poirot-style observations of the stranger I notice that he is obviously wearing a bra under a skin-tight shirt. It was likely some sort of secret fetish dress play. I would wager a bet that he was wearing panties too. A thong perhaps? Or all silky so it would tingle and rub at his man parts? He strolled around the store while carrying four $5.95 DVDs from the cheap bin. Three contained straight sex, with themes of choke on cock style of gagging, bukkake and double anal threesomes. The fourth disc was a transsexual flick, for you know, if the wife found it he had a safe excuse. “How did I grab this one by mistake?!” As if it would get lost in the shuffle, or the silly clerk at the front would judge his choices less if I didn’t notice…. As if I gave a shit.

As feared, he approached the counter at 11:58. (sigh) I rang him up and he paid cash. A few minutes ago I was screaming in my brain that I wished I was at home when the ball dropped. But no, I was stuck here, ringing up a secret cross-dressing stranger at the stroke of midnight. I noticed the digital clock pass midnight on my computer clock. I said nothing. I gave the total, with discount for buying four movies. He paid and I started to bag them up.

“Hey. Uh, Happy New Year,” I said with a half smile. He looked up at the big clock behind me.

“Oh yeah…. You too,” he said in the most nervous type of tone. I decided to go with a joke to deflect the awkward silence.

“No offense, but I’m not giving you a kiss,” I said through the fake smile. I don’t think he got that I was joking around.

“Hey listen, can you take them out of the cases? I just need the discs.” This was a common request. Most likely to ensure one could easily hide them from his spouse in whatever CD in his collection she would never touch and find his hidden stash. I emptied the cases and handed him a bag of discs. Head down, he grabbed his bag and headed out the door into the snowy night. I sat back in the chair by the manager’s computer and sighed. I watched him drive away on the outside camera. I could hear the rush of the trucks on the freeway nearby, the pitter patter sound of the snow hitting the outside walls.  The silence of no music in the store now made my ears sting. The store was empty and cold. I was alone and it was quiet. The smell of lube and glass cleaner hung in the air, my only companion on this late New Year’s night.

“How did it come to this?” I ask myself aloud. No one answered back.

----

It was 1983. I was five years old. And I was laying flat on the floor in a video store in protest of pornography.

My parents were doing their best to raise me to have a level head and decent scruples. They weren’t bible thumpers although we were practicing Jehovah’s Witnesses for a time. (I quit when I was fifteen because I wanted to start banging chicks.) I grew up in the country with no neighbor kids to play with, nor was there any cable TV in our area. The only thing I was able to watch was PBS, which had shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood on it. For some reason early on I developed a streak of telling people what they were doing right and wrong in their lives. I would hang “No Smoking” signs drawn in crayon in the houses of smokers in my family. I would warn my parents to not watch movies that had dirty scenes in them. But I never protested the extreme violence, just the boobs and butts. I recall my mother watching “The Godfather” while I was in the room. But I didn’t care about violence. Only nudity. I wanted to cleanse the world. (For some silly reason)

It was with this mindset that on this particular winter day in 1983 that I went to the now long gone mom and pop style store called “Video World” in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan with my mother and her friend Robin. They were talking on and on and browsing the movies. Robin snuck off to the adult video room, which was sectioned off from the rest of the store. My mother followed her in, only to continue their conversation. To my knowledge she was never interested in renting pornography for herself or for her and dad to watch when I finally hit the sack. Maybe they did and I didn’t know it. But I highly doubt it. (And let me keep doubting it, please)

But unknown to me her motivations, in she went. From browsing the Looney Tunes and Masters of the Universe Betamax tapes I saw her go in. I could not go back there to inform them of the wrong that they were doing, so I was stuck without a weapon for vocal protest. For some reason, I decided to lie down in the middle of the floor, arms and legs spread wide and there I lay, quietly. My mother emerged and with a gasp of embarrassment exclaimed, “Honey! What on Earth are you doing?”

“I am protesting mom,” I said simply.

“Protesting what?” She asked.

“I am protesting the fact that you went into that room with the dirty movies. Those movies are wrong and you shouldn’t watch them!” My mother almost fainted with embarrassment as chuckles echoed throughout the store. Our video rental days at Video World ended that day, as we never went back. She didn’t rent those dirty movies (not that she even intended to in the first place) and I had won.

---

If you reflect back on that day in 1983 and compare it to now, it’s complete night and day. Her son that held that quiet protest on the floor that day has since grown up to work in several adult stores, managed one of them, hung out with strippers, worked on adult artwork, wrote many adult stories, had lots of angry, sordid sex with many different women and has certainly changed his mind on the stance of pornography. I have come to peace with my inner pervert, if you like.

However, in my years of growth and enlightenment, there have been many occasions for me to encounter the most, shall we say, colorful individuals and situations that life simply doesn’t teach you how to face properly. There simply is no guidebook that would help me combat and deal with these things as they arose. I have stories beyond stories of truly unique encounters of the kooky and the strange to the positive and then back to the plain and simple extreme perversion that is associated with that beloved genre. And it’s not all bad. Certainly I’ve had my share of weird occasions and people, but I’ve also had great times with folks. It all comes together in a large steamy stew of experience that I am eager to share with the rest of the world. It is with these things in mind that I present this novel of complete non-fiction to you for your enjoyment.

Do you want to hear about the time I dealt with the trucker who was dating a mentally handicapped lot lizard? How about men hooking up in secret locations over and over in arcade booths? Or the time that a man wearing a diaper and an inserted butt plug asked us if he could clean our bathroom because his mistress demanded him to ask us? Or being asked to assist a 70 year old cross dresser for his role play? Its all here in its uncut, completely 100% accurate and depraved glory. This is the blatant and embarrassingly honest tale of one man’s journey of finding inner peace within the genre of pornography, even so much as to work in the industry itself. He swam through the sludge deep within and emerged with crazy stories that he can tell till his dying days. I’ve had the ultimate peek behind the curtain and I want to share what I lived through with you.  

Still want to read it? If you say yes, you’re a sick mother-fucker. And welcome!

--T