If the Right (FOOT) Don't Get You.... PLUS: A Timeline to Come!

Hey friends!

Remember that tomorrow is the final day to put in your commission order and then my list closes again. I don't see it opening back up until probably next year sometime. I am just way too busy and limited in my working time allotted, health-wise. So this is your best chance. Already got some sweet takers on some things. I got a couple done and digitally sent already. One BIG one to do: An 18x24 custom made job, but one that will be really cool to do. Then a couple more. But there is room for more. Tomorrow is the LAST DAY to get one in before I close the list. Anything after Saturday will be turned away. I say this with peace and love, peace and loooovvve!

I swear man, if it ain't one thing its another. I've had a couple weeks of hell. From personal woes to financial woes, then to dreams broken, to fighting a head cold for almost two weeks... and now this:

I had to call off work yesterday due to this severe pain in my foot. I didn't want to. It took my last vacation day away. Plus its close to a holiday weekend and I am needed. But I literally couldn't walk at all yesterday. I started off the day before. I just had a pain in my foot and I was limping around. No idea what it was or how it happened. Felt like a strain of some sort. But I did my duty and went to work and limped through it. No big deal. Cut to yesterday morning. I am woken up by the severe pain in my foot. I tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and holy shit... I'm practically crying through the pain. I couldn't stand up! My girlfriend had to almost carry me into the bathroom. It felt like a severe charlie horse in my upper foot. I wrapped it in ice packs and downed Advil all day. I stayed off it and just laid in bed, praying that I would be better by Friday, because of several factors. 

This morning, it is better. I am able to scoot it around on the floor. I can shift my weight to and fro on it. But driving? Long repeated walking through the factory to my office where I work? Not likely. But I can get by. I'm going to keep ice on it all morning and down pills as I can before work and hopefully get through the day. Then Saturday I got my kids. No idea how I will be able to drive and get them, but I will find a way.

Dammit, its always SOMETHING, isn't it?

Oh well. Its not all doom and gloom. This week I've been able to color a lot on newer pages for this side project I am trying to get done. And I finished three more pages on it for a mini story for it. Just a few more things, maybe 10 pages of work on it and then I gotta assemble it all together. The plan is to get the Kickstarter for it up and running by sometime in July/August. Its a collection of erotica stories, pinups and written stories. Stuff I have had around for years and have never released. Stuff I planned for the ill fated Patreon page that I know I can now never get to. And other stuff I have done and has no home. But for those that like my unique humor and drawing of naughty bits, this will be a fun book.

After that, its full speed ahead on Starslam 3 and this:

WISE INTELLIGENCE was a comic I illustrated for Ryan McLelland back in the mid-2000s. We did three issues and a couple side stories together on it. He also did a few other stories with other artists. I suggested that he collect everything together in one big anthology book. So we have been scouring old discs and files and things we'd need to scan to make a complete collection. It will have many pages of art by me and other artists like Dave Lafuente (SPIDERMAN) and Terry Moore (SIP, RACHEL RISING). I might do a new pinup or cover for it, but we'll see on that. Most of my work this time will be assembling it into one cohesive collection and then Ryan will run the Kickstarter for it. But for those that are Adam completionists, you'll want to jump in on that! But more on this book later. I just wanted to let you know what is up with it.

Now, STARSLAM 3 will be Kickstarted before the end of the year. Likely in October/November if all goes well. I am really trying to take my time with this thing and work around the carpal tunnel stuff and deliver the best book I can do to send these characters out to pasture in this final part of the trilogy.

And lastly, looking at 2018:

I will be working to finish PLEASANT LIFE 2 for a summer release. And I got one final comic related project after that to finish it all up. A final, "CAPTAIN'S LOG" book to collect the last few years of pinups, uncompleted projects and one special comic idea that will wrap up the "Adam-verse" in a nice, fun way. I don't want to spoil the surprise but I know it will be fun to do. And a PERFECT way to end my comics' career.

... and then FINALLY on to the novels I've been talking about forever! My porn store tell all book should come out early 2018. End of 2018 will see my short story/poem anthology thingie. And then in 2019, will be my first full fiction novel that I have been working off and on with. The title and premise, I'll save for then. Also in 2019, I decided I will do a final run of 3-4 comic cons one last time to say "goodbye." 2019 will be the 25th anniversary of me doing comics, so it seems like the perfect time do it. A celebration and a goodbye before I hang up the microns, bristol board and wacom pens for good.

WHEW! So yeah... barring any more goddamn health issues, that is my timeline for things to come. Home stretch, folks. Mountains to climb. Things I've promised for years to you and to myself are finally in view on the horizon. We're going to get this done!

... and then figure out what the fuck to do with the rest of my life! HEH. But hopefully, less painful than it has been lately!

Cheers, T

Various Brain Droppings...

Hello my friends. I've spent the last few days sick. I never get sick, but somehow I caught it. And I must have got it from work because a couple others in my department are sick as well. I felt well enough to go in Monday but Tuesday I woke up feeling like absolute crap. I even went to the doctor! (Now you KNOW I was sick!!!) I got some meds and they recommended a day of rest. I kept fighting it because I didn't want to lose the OT pay and a personal day plus a bonus for great attendance. But in the end, I had to do it. First time calling in sick to a proper job in 10 years. I hated it. But it turned out to be a good decision. I was sneezing, coughing and pouring from my nose and eyes all day when I got home. But I took my meds and laid down like a good boy.

I felt somewhat okay mid-day after a long nap and I worked on editing my porn store tell all book. I then shot it to my new editor friend for a look over. She'll check out a few chapters at a time and make sure I'm doing okay. Great to have another opinion! Meanwhile I'll continue with it.

But after editing for a while, I started getting worse again, so I laid back down. I watched the Beatles MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR Bluray which I bought a while ago and haven't sat and watched yet. I gotta say, it was not good. Not at all. Save for the "I Am The Walrus" part and a stripper at the end, the rest of it is nonsensical. I watched the extras and it still isn't worthy of keeping. So in a TO SELL pile it goes. Bummer.

I also watched the making of 2112/Moving Pictures RUSH Bluray, which is a go-to documentary for me. I love those Classic Album docs where they bring in the members of the band and they play the tracks live and talk about how the songs came together.

Speaking of music, this week I got to pick up my bass I bought back in January, which I've named, LEMMY.

Here he is at home. All glory to LEMMY!

I fiddled around with it a bit yesterday but nothing serious. Its slowly all coming back to me. I'm excited to get writing on some more bass driven songs in the future.

The next couple months are going to be busy ones. OT will remain at work for a bit and I will strive to save big. Each weekend I either have my kids overnight Sat-Sunday or something planned, like a comic show or something. Next week (weather permitting) I have to drive to Illinois to visit my dad and get a minor car repair done in the process. Then I am taking a day to hit Ann Arbor for the first time. There are comic and record shops there I've always wanted to visit and now I'm going to take the time to do it. I've lived in Michigan all my life and have never been there. Shame on me. Looking forward to it.

Yesterday my oldest son turned 16. I got to skype with him briefly in between sniffles and coughs. He's doing well. So weird to have a kid old enough to drive! I'm proud of him and his accomplishments.

Today, February 3rd, marks the one year anniversary that I lost my step-mom, Gloria. I always remember my moms on their birthdays and the day of their passing. I wanna pick up the phone and call my dad but he's probably having a rough day today as it is without me shining a light on it. He hasn't taken her passing well at all. Neither have I really. Its so weird to go down there and be in that house and she's not there. Its hard to imagine. Hard to think about.

I think she'd be proud of all the hard work I did since last year. When she last knew me my life was in tatters and I was a broken soul. She was worried about me. At the time when she should be at peace, she was worried about me. I'll never forgive that aspect of things. I regret that, greatly. I think about her and the confidence she tried to instill in me about my work. "You're gonna make it," She always said to me. I don't know if I have yet, or if I ever will. OR even what "making it" means for me. I have my own definition. Lately it seems like I've been treading water, big time. I know it seems okay to take a pause and take time to make sure I'm all together right. And reclaim parts of myself lost or dormant since this big reboot of my life. It's natural. But the zeal for work comes and goes. Some days I'm gung-ho and its like, "I'm back! Thank Christ!!" But then the next day I just sit and think about how I don't have anything done and what/why am I doing it? Its a vicious cycle and I hate that its happening.

I color pages on STARSLAM 2 or work on the novel or other things and I'm so damn proud of whats been happening. It's like when I drew the pages last year I was so ahead of what I wanted to do. I've got a bunch of projects started and its a mountain to finish any of them. Even if I had a month off with solid productivity, I don't know where I would be with them. It's a shitty feeling.

I'd love my razor focus back. I want to make my moms proud of me. I want to show everyone who has supported me through these rough times and before that their faith in me was in the right place. I don't feel like its too late for me to keep doing the things I love to do. Or that I shouldn't be doing them. I enjoy it. I love it. Plus, I don't know what else to do with myself.

I guess I want to say thanks for continuing to support and read/listen to me and my ramblings. Its a day to day struggle to get back onto the horse. Bare with me. I always deliver. And when its done, I'll hold those porn books in my arms with happiness. I'll get there.

Anyway, that is what is on my mind this morning. Miss you Gloria. And I miss..... myself.... whatever that is anymore.

Cheers to you all,

T

Porn Store Book intro!

One of the projects I've been working on for the last couple years is a novel "tell-all" of my days working in the adult industry. Not just at shops, but doing adult artwork and the crazy situations I've dealt with over the years. I do plan to finish this book this year and I hope you are all still interested in reading it. Today, I'm going to share the intro to the book to you here. I did this before a few years ago but it has since been updated. So please, enjoy what will be the intro to my first written novel, coming this year... And goddammit that is a promise!

Enjoy:

___________

PROLOGUE:

11:40 pm. Dec. 31^st, 2008. I’m sitting in the Tiger’s Den sex shop, alone. I couldn’t take another song that our modern rock radio station would play, so I just turned it off to enjoy the silence. Better than that damn Papa Roach or Hinder song again. I’m sitting in the manager’s chair behind the counter, fighting off the depression state that I’m not home with my wife and newborn son to ring in the new-year together. She quit texting me an hour ago. She’s tired and has since fell asleep. The snow was demolishing the ground outside and I had not seen a customer for over two hours. The shop was an isolated place, right off the interstate, nothing major of note nearby. Just a crappy truck stop across the street, and they are all closed up for the night….as every place should be on a holiday like this. I wished I was anywhere else but where I was. I was too bored to read my book I brought, too bored to draw anything. I just preferred the quiet sound of the heavy snow pounding on the roof and the cheap metal wall covering the outside. I wanted to wallow in my lonely pity that I was stuck there on New Year’s Eve, alone.

A light on the security screen out of the corner of my right eye makes me turn to face it. I notice on the camera that a car has pulled up to the building. It slips and slides through our parking lot in the almost foot of snow blanketing its existence. The tracks left behind its tires was an interloper to the beauty of the quiet and untouched snowfall. A man in his late 40’s gets out of the Dodge Durango and heads for the front. The familiar door chime rings and pierces my ears. It is doubly loud when its dead quiet in the store. I nod at his direction, and in my head cursing that he even bothered to trek out into these dangerous conditions for porn he could have easily looked up online for free. But that’s not any way to think is it? Number one rule to retail: Customers are not an interruption to our work, but the purpose of it. I should be thankful I have a job at all in these rough times… so they tell me.

The minutes tick away and I’m silently begging in my head.

“Please don’t let me have to ring him up at midnight. Please don’t let me have to ring him up at midnight.” It becomes a mantra I repeat slowly in my mind as I watch him browse.

While the man walks around the store he keeps glancing in my direction. Anyone in with any sort of retail training knows this look, and it’s a concern that a person might be trying to steal something.  He fiddles with his collar and and a couple quiet sighs leak from his ugly face. I scan his hand for a ring to see if he is married. Yes. Obviously the misses didn’t feel like putting out on a nice night like this so he was coming here to get some porn to hide from her.

As I continue my Hercule Poirot-style observations of the stranger I notice that he is obviously wearing a bra under a skin-tight shirt. It was likely some sort of secret fetish dress play. I would wager a bet that he was wearing panties too. A thong perhaps? Or all silky so it would tingle and rub at his man parts? He strolled around the store while carrying four $5.95 DVDs from the cheap bin. Three contained straight sex, with themes of choke on cock style of gagging, bukkake and double anal threesomes. The fourth disc was a transsexual flick, for you know, if the wife found it he had a safe excuse. “How did I grab this one by mistake?!” As if it would get lost in the shuffle, or the silly clerk at the front would judge his choices less if I didn’t notice…. As if I gave a shit.

As feared, he approached the counter at 11:58. (sigh) I rang him up and he paid cash. A few minutes ago I was screaming in my brain that I wished I was at home when the ball dropped. But no, I was stuck here, ringing up a secret cross-dressing stranger at the stroke of midnight. I noticed the digital clock pass midnight on my computer clock. I said nothing. I gave the total, with discount for buying four movies. He paid and I started to bag them up.

“Hey. Uh, Happy New Year,” I said with a half smile. He looked up at the big clock behind me.

“Oh yeah…. You too,” he said in the most nervous type of tone. I decided to go with a joke to deflect the awkward silence.

“No offense, but I’m not giving you a kiss,” I said through the fake smile. I don’t think he got that I was joking around.

“Hey listen, can you take them out of the cases? I just need the discs.” This was a common request. Most likely to ensure one could easily hide them from his spouse in whatever CD in his collection she would never touch and find his hidden stash. I emptied the cases and handed him a bag of discs. Head down, he grabbed his bag and headed out the door into the snowy night. I sat back in the chair by the manager’s computer and sighed. I watched him drive away on the outside camera. I could hear the rush of the trucks on the freeway nearby, the pitter patter sound of the snow hitting the outside walls.  The silence of no music in the store now made my ears sting. The store was empty and cold. I was alone and it was quiet. The smell of lube and glass cleaner hung in the air, my only companion on this late New Year’s night.

“How did it come to this?” I ask myself aloud. No one answered back.

----

It was 1983. I was five years old. And I was laying flat on the floor in a video store in protest of pornography.

My parents were doing their best to raise me to have a level head and decent scruples. They weren’t bible thumpers although we were practicing Jehovah’s Witnesses for a time. (I quit when I was fifteen because I wanted to start banging chicks.) I grew up in the country with no neighbor kids to play with, nor was there any cable TV in our area. The only thing I was able to watch was PBS, which had shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood on it. For some reason early on I developed a streak of telling people what they were doing right and wrong in their lives. I would hang “No Smoking” signs drawn in crayon in the houses of smokers in my family. I would warn my parents to not watch movies that had dirty scenes in them. But I never protested the extreme violence, just the boobs and butts. I recall my mother watching “The Godfather” while I was in the room. But I didn’t care about violence. Only nudity. I wanted to cleanse the world. (For some silly reason)

It was with this mindset that on this particular winter day in 1983 that I went to the now long gone mom and pop style store called “Video World” in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan with my mother and her friend Robin. They were talking on and on and browsing the movies. Robin snuck off to the adult video room, which was sectioned off from the rest of the store. My mother followed her in, only to continue their conversation. To my knowledge she was never interested in renting pornography for herself or for her and dad to watch when I finally hit the sack. Maybe they did and I didn’t know it. But I highly doubt it. (And let me keep doubting it, please)

But unknown to me her motivations, in she went. From browsing the Looney Tunes and Masters of the Universe Betamax tapes I saw her go in. I could not go back there to inform them of the wrong that they were doing, so I was stuck without a weapon for vocal protest. For some reason, I decided to lie down in the middle of the floor, arms and legs spread wide and there I lay, quietly. My mother emerged and with a gasp of embarrassment exclaimed, “Honey! What on Earth are you doing?”

“I am protesting mom,” I said simply.

“Protesting what?” She asked.

“I am protesting the fact that you went into that room with the dirty movies. Those movies are wrong and you shouldn’t watch them!” My mother almost fainted with embarrassment as chuckles echoed throughout the store. Our video rental days at Video World ended that day, as we never went back. She didn’t rent those dirty movies (not that she even intended to in the first place) and I had won.

---

If you reflect back on that day in 1983 and compare it to now, it’s complete night and day. Her son that held that quiet protest on the floor that day has since grown up to work in several adult stores, managed one of them, hung out with strippers, worked on adult artwork, wrote many adult stories, had lots of angry, sordid sex with many different women and has certainly changed his mind on the stance of pornography. I have come to peace with my inner pervert, if you like.

However, in my years of growth and enlightenment, there have been many occasions for me to encounter the most, shall we say, colorful individuals and situations that life simply doesn’t teach you how to face properly. There simply is no guidebook that would help me combat and deal with these things as they arose. I have stories beyond stories of truly unique encounters of the kooky and the strange to the positive and then back to the plain and simple extreme perversion that is associated with that beloved genre. And it’s not all bad. Certainly I’ve had my share of weird occasions and people, but I’ve also had great times with folks. It all comes together in a large steamy stew of experience that I am eager to share with the rest of the world. It is with these things in mind that I present this novel of complete non-fiction to you for your enjoyment.

Do you want to hear about the time I dealt with the trucker who was dating a mentally handicapped lot lizard? How about men hooking up in secret locations over and over in arcade booths? Or the time that a man wearing a diaper and an inserted butt plug asked us if he could clean our bathroom because his mistress demanded him to ask us? Or being asked to assist a 70 year old cross dresser for his role play? Its all here in its uncut, completely 100% accurate and depraved glory. This is the blatant and embarrassingly honest tale of one man’s journey of finding inner peace within the genre of pornography, even so much as to work in the industry itself. He swam through the sludge deep within and emerged with crazy stories that he can tell till his dying days. I’ve had the ultimate peek behind the curtain and I want to share what I lived through with you.  

Still want to read it? If you say yes, you’re a sick mother-fucker. And welcome!

--T

STARSLAM wrap-up

Things have been a whirlwind this week and I finally get to sit down and talk a bit about STARSLAM and the Kickstarter experience. We got funded. At last count it was $2,890. I asked for $300. This whole thing has absolutely blown my mind. What started out as a whim of an idea, went through many phases and was completely shelved twice, has now become my fastest pre-ordered book of my career. On one hand you could argue that it was the sexiness of the project that made it get the attention. But I think its one simple answer: CROWDFUNDING WORKS.

When I considered Kickstarting this project, I looked to other folks doing erotica and releasing it on there. I saw a writer who put together a comics anthology. She asked for $5,000, she got $120,000. Another got $168,000. My pal Tim Fischer got over $6,000 for his project. So I knew that there was a potential to not only get funded, but also capture a new audience.... which is ALWAYS my intention. Getting paid is great, don't get me wrong. But I just want people to READ WHAT I DO! I cannot tell you how many free copies I've tossed to people over the years just to get people to read what I do. But I was stinged by older Kickstarters I tried. I tried to fund my ARTBOOK but failed. I barely got funding for both TALES OF SEQUENTIAL MAYHEM books. So it stood to reason that I might fail at launching STARSLAM that way. But I felt like I still needed to try. So I asked. And the people answered.

As of now, the funding process is complete. Sometime next week I should recieve my funds. I'v already handed out the digital book version to my backers. Next week when I recieve my funds, I will place the order for the books at the printer. A month later, I'll get them. Then I got a ton of sketching, signing and mailing to do. Its part of the gig when you are a one man operation. And I'm happy to do it. The majority of the money I raised is going to printing the book, shipping the books. The rest, which is probably around $500 will go to outstanding bills we have at the house. I won't see a dime of it. But that is TOTALLY FINE! Because I proved a point to myself. I proved that I can do this. I proved that I can ask the universe for something and get an answer. I proved that it is always a good idea to chase the whimsies. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But when it works, hoooo boy!!

If you kept up with this process, donated, RT'd, sent vibes, whatever... THANK YOU! You have no idea what this means to me. Not only did I have the biggest pre-sale of my career, but I also stepped forward and contributed to the sex positive movement.... which is what I always wanted to do. I hope that people read and enjoy this book for years to come!

SO- what to do if you missed out on the Kickstarter? Well, I got news:

If all goes according to plan, in January, I will have physical copies of the book. You can order from my online store at that time. Also sometime around then, I will be launching digital versions of ALL my books. You can purchase and get them for your tablet devices or read them on your desktop. Your preference. I'm finally moving into the 21st Century with my shit! Also, I will have copies to take with me to conventions. Trust me, STARSLAM ain't gonna go away. Its just beginning. I'm already working on a sequel and I'm 10 pages into it. Its bigger, better and bolder. Sexier. More dynamic. I'm really gonna go all out with this one. So expect that next year.

As for other stuff like ANNA POCALYPSE 2, PORN STORE MEMOIRS and PLEASANT LIFE 2? Thats all in the works as well. You'll most likely get ANNA 2 and the PORN STORE MEMOIRS books next year as well. Depends on my time on when I can get things done. But it is my intention to get them all completed. I've caught a wave of inspiration and success and I intend to ride it! I've also got two more Sketch Card sets I am on currently.

Anyway folks, thats the wrap-up on STARSLAM. Thanks to all who ordered the book. I hope you are enjoying it! Onward and upward!

Cheers, T

Project Updates

Since clearing my plate of commissions and declining all offers on more undesirable projects and commission work, I have fully focused on myself, my health and my creative health. It is not an overnight process, and it continues to roll on as I update you today. I start a new dayjob this week, as the first one wasn't the most ideal. This new one is a better overall choice and will work quite well as far as working on a nightly schedule of getting things done. I'm looking forward to getting back to a routine that I so severely need to be a part of. It has been severely lacking.

To be assured, it will be a massive adjustment in sleep schedule and a juggle with family life. But I stay on the path and keep rocking, not letting up or the temptations in, once the smoke clears I will be where I need to be. Health-wise, financially, creatively, emotionally and so much more. I have grand plans in my head but I am not holding myself down with them. Just chasing the mere whimsy in my mind as I just keep doing what I do and re-learning why I chose to do it. Also re-finding the joy in doing it too. Again, not going to happen overnight.

Overall, I am still at it. I am happy to say I wrote a great outline for a future project. I edited and added 10 pages of stuff to the porn store book. I have been cleaning up little things here and there around the house. I've done some writing. I spent time watching things I keep putting off, and reading authors I keep hearing about. I've been listening to albums long ignored. And I pencilled the last STARSLAM page. It is only a matter of time for these seeds to bear fruit.

But I am driven by the creativity of those around me and those I look up to. I am driven by the dreams of travelling next year to some shows to see some old friends again. I am driven to be able to better myself and to end the various worries in my head.

Rest assured, I will emerge triumphant. It is inevitable. Even now, unstoppable.

_________

This week: I am interviewing a couple guys I look up to for a future podcast/website post for bigfanboy.com - I am giddy with nervousness about how cool it is to talk to these dudes.

I have also accepted an invite to work on another sketch card set for a big company on a big project. Seems like the less I try, the more I am getting asked! Feels good for a change and I appreciate it.

I am thinking ahead to Anna Pocalypse 2 art and rethinking a few scenes I have already drawn out. Refining. Reinventing. I got some new reference and I am going to be using it. Thats up next and down the road. I'm feeling the drive again to finish it. Thats fucking awesome!

Wheels are turning.  Be warned. When I emerge finally, I'm going to blow all of you away.

T

YEAR SO FAR... PROJECT UPDATES

Time to assess where we are at and do some updating on where things are so far for the year!

CONVENTIONS: Upcoming is CHERRY CAPITAL CON May 23-25th. After that there is a possibly of a return to Detroit or Grand Rapids. I am not ruling out maybe one other midwest type of show sometime in the year. But we'll see. I'd like to hit a couple Michigan based comic shops and have store signings and move some of these books. Once things die down, I'll make plans.

PLEASANT LIFE: the 475 page collection is out and you can order it HERE - It collects EVERYTHING from the series and has tons of bonus material including a new exclusive 7 page story. There is no immediate plans for a follow up but maybe some day down the road.

ANNA POCALYPSE: The reprint/new cover/recolor version is out and available HERE - The sequel has 70 pages of art done and will be worked on/completed later on this year for launch in 2015. Next year there will be a BIG PUSH to sell Anna 1-2. Look out!

STARSLAM: Currently on 65 pages posted. And here is the big news: After this current chapter goes up, there will be no more updates, as I am going to be pulling the pages down (eventually) and recoloring them. Then I am finishing colors on the rest of the pages and launching them into a kickstarter. Friends and fellow artists are having great success launching adult related comics on Kickstarter and I believe it might be a great chance to get Starslam into the hands of more people that way. So look for that this fall launching as an all digital book and a chance to get some art or MAKE some art yourself! So big news on this front! Expect much more soon...

TALES OF SEQUENTIAL MAYHEM: Book #3 just got back from the printer and Kickstarter orders are being mailed out. After the smoke clears, I will have copies to sell in the store and at conventions but give me time to sort out the Kickstarter orders first. We will be doing a #4 in the future and doing it once again through Kickstarter.

PORN BOOK: Two chapters still need to be written but has taken a back seat to paid work and getting my comic books back in the online store. But I will get time soon to sit down and complete it. Once then, I shall edit it and do touch ups. Then decide how I want to publish it. Find a company to do it for me? Launch it through Kickstarter? Self Publish through Lulu? Its all up in the air. We'll see where the winds blow me at that point.

MORNING SHOW PODCAST: still continues! Just posted episode #235 today. Download via Itunes. Also enjoy the resurgence of other old podcasts on Talkshoe like Tim's Late Night Lounge and Studio Chatter. All available on Itunes.

IDIOTHEAD MUSIC: Believe it or not, I got an email recently about the possibility of new music coming from our comedy band. As of this time, there are no plans. However you never know what the future holds.

YOU TUBE CHANNEL: I will be uploading new videos at some point. Plenty of footage for various things has been shot. Just need time to sort it all and edit it. I'll probably take more videos at Cherry Captial Con too. Give me time.

SKETCHCARDS: No new sets due at this point. Once Pinups/Pitbulls is out and Sherlock Holmes Memoirs is released, I have nothing on the horizon for more card work. Possibly more in the future but we shall see.

So... that gives a nice update as to where we are going. Things are rockin' and rollin! Thanks for checking back and caring.

Cheers, T

PORN STORY BOOK PREVIEW!

Some of you folks might recall that I am busy writing two novels: one is a collection of short stories and poems I have done over the years and the other is a tell all book about my days working in the sex retail industry. Easily the one that has got the most attention is the sex store book. I am very close to a completed first draft. After getting inspired by a doc on the great Hunter S. Thompson,  I spent four hours tonight proofreading and editing what I had. Only a little bit more to go and I have a great first draft, which I will then re-proofread and then submit it to some folks to get their thoughts. Then re-edit again, and then make it pitchable to a company to carry it on for me. OR self-publish it. All of which will be taking place in the next 3-4 months at the latest.

But for now, I thought I would share a bit of the book. I offer you a world exclusive, first glimpse at my first written novel. The prologue to my upcoming Sex Store memoirs. Enjoy!

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PROLOGUE:

11:40 pm. Dec. 31^st, 2008. I’m sitting in the Tiger’s Den sex shop, alone. I turned the crappy modern rock music off just to sit in the silence. I’m sitting there, fighting off the depression state that I’m not home with my girl to ring in the new year together. She’s tired and has since fell asleep. She quit texting me an hour ago. Its snowing bad outside and I haven’t had a customer for over two hours. The shop was an isolated place, right off the interstate, nothing major of note nearby. Just a crappy truck stop across the street, and they are all closed up for the night. I’m sitting in the manager’s chair behind the counter, bored out of my mind. I wished I was anywhere else but where I was. I was too bored to read my book I brought, too bored to draw anything. I just preferred the quiet sound of the heavy snow pounding on the roof and the cheap metal wall covering the outside. I wanted to wallow in my lonely pity that I was stuck there on New Year’s Eve, alone.

I notice on the camera that a car has pulled up to the building. It slips and slides through our parking lot in the almost foot of snow blanketing its existence. The tracks left behind its tires was an interloper to the beauty of the quiet and untouched snowfall. A man in his late 40’s gets out of the Dodge Durango and heads for the front. The familiar door chime rings and pierces my ears. It is doubly loud when its dead quiet in the store. I nod at his direction, and in my head cursing that he even bothered to trek out into these dangerous conditions for porn he could have easily looked up online for free. But that’s not any way to think is it? Number one rule to retail: Customers are not an interruption to our work, but the purpose of it. I should be thankful I have a job at all in these rough times… so they tell me.

The minutes tick away and I’m silently begging in my head.

“Please don’t let me have to ring him up at midnight. Please don’t let me have to ring him up at midnight.” It becomes a mantra I repeat slowly in my mind as I watch him browse.

As the man walks around the store, I notice that he is obviously wearing a bra under a skin-tight shirt. It was some sort of secret fetish dress play. I surmised he probably was wearing panties too. He’s purchasing four $5.95 dvds from the cheap bin. Three are straight sex, which included all anal sex, bukkake and threesomes. The fourth disc was a transsexual flick, for you know, if the wife found it he had a safe excuse. “How did I grab this one by mistake?!” As if it would get lost in the shuffle, or the silly clerk at the front would judge his choices less if I didn’t notice…. As if I gave a shit.

As feared, he approached the counter at 11:58. (sigh) I rang him up and he paid cash. A few minutes ago I was screaming in my brain that I wished I was at home to kiss my girl when the ball dropped. But no, I was stuck here, ringing up a secret cross-dressing stranger at the stroke of midnight. I noticed the clock strike midnight on my computer clock. I said nothing. I gave the total, with discount for buying four movies. He paid and I started to bag them up.

“Hey. Uh, Happy New Year,” I said with a half smile. He looked up at the big clock behind me.

“Oh yeah…. You too,” he said in the most nervous type of tone. I decided to go with a joke to deflect the awkward silence.

“No offense, but I’m not giving you a kiss,” I said through the fake smile. I don’t think he got that I was joking around. Head down, he grabbed his bag and headed out the door into the snowy night. I sat back in the chair by the manager’s computer and sighed. I watched him drive away on the outside camera. I could hear the rush of the trucks on the freeway nearby, the sound of freezing rain hitting the outside walls.  The silence of no music in the store now made my ears sting. The store was empty and cold. I was alone and it was quiet. The smell of lube and glass cleaner hung in the air, my only companion on this late New Year’s night.

“How did it come to this?” I ask myself aloud. No one answered back.

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It was 1983. I was five years old. And I was laying flat on the floor in a video store in protest of pornography.

My parents were doing their best to raise me to have a level head and decent scruples. They weren’t bible thumpers although we were practicing Jehovah’s Witnesses for a time. (I quit when I was fifteen because I wanted to start banging chicks.) I grew up in the country with no neighbor kids to play with, nor was there any cable TV in our area. The only thing I was allowed to watch was PBS, which had shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers Neighborhood on it. For some reason early on I developed a streak of telling people what they were doing right and wrong in their lives. I would hang “No Smoking” signs drawn in crayon in the houses of smokers in my family. I would warn my parents to not watch movies that had dirty scenes in them. But I never protested the extreme violence, just the boobs and butts. I recall my mother watching “The Godfather” while I was in the room. But I didn’t care about violence. Only nudity. I wanted to cleanse the world. (For some silly reason)

It was with this mindset that on this particular winter day in 1983 that I went to the now long gone mom and pop style store called “Video World” in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan with my mother and her friend Robin. They were talking on and on and browsing the movies. Robin snuck off to the adult video room, which was sectioned off from the rest of the store. My mother followed her in, only to continue their conversation. To my knowledge she was never interested in renting pornography for herself or for her and dad to watch when I finally hit the sack. Maybe they did and I didn’t know it. But I highly doubt it.

But unknown to me her motivations, in she went. From browsing the Looney Tunes and Masters of the Universe Betamax tapes I saw her go in. I could not go back there to inform them of the wrong that they were doing, so I was stuck without a weapon for vocal protest. For some reason, I decided to lie down in the middle of the floor, arms and legs spread wide and there I lay, quietly. My mother emerged and with a gasp of embarrassment exclaimed, “Honey! What on Earth are you doing?”

“I am protesting mom,” I said simply.

“Protesting what?” She asked.

“I am protesting the fact that you went into that room with the dirty movies. Those movies are wrong and you shouldn’t watch them!” My mother almost fainted with embarrassment as chuckles echoed throughout the store. Our video rental days at Video World ended that day, as we never went back. She didn’t rent those dirty movies (not that she even intended to in the first place) and I had won.

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If mom were to reflect back on that day in 1983 and compare it to now, it’s complete night and day. Her son that held that quiet protest on the floor that day has since grown up to work in several adult stores, managed one of them, hung out with strippers, worked on adult artwork, wrote many adult stories, had lots of sex with many different women and has certainly changed his mind on the stance of pornography. I have come to peace with my inner pervert, if you like.

However, in my years of growth and enlightenment, there have been many occasions for me to encounter the most, shall we say, colorful individuals and situations that life simply doesn’t teach you how to face properly. There simply is no guidebook that would help me combat and deal with these things as they arose. I have stories beyond stories of truly unique encounters of the kooky and the strange to the positive and then back to the plain and simple extreme perversion that is associated with that beloved genre. And it’s not all bad. Certainly I’ve had my share of weird occasions and people, but I’ve also had great times with folks. It all comes together in a large melting pot of experience that I am eager to share with the rest of the world. It is with these things in mind that I present this novel of complete non-fiction to you for your enjoyment.

Do you want to hear about the time I dealt with the trucker who was dating a mentally handicapped lot lizard? How about married men hooking up in secret locations over and over in arcade booths? Or the time that a man wearing a diaper and an inserted butt plug asked us if he could clean our bathroom because his mistress demanded him to ask us? Or being asked to assist a 70 year old cross dresser for his role play? Or the time I spent the night at a swingers club? Its all here in its uncut, completely 100% accurate and depraved glory. This is the blatant and embarrassingly honest tale of one man’s journey of finding inner peace within the genre of pornography, even so much as to work in the industry itself. Only to find the sludge deep within and emerge with crazy stories that he can tell till his dying days. I’ve had the ultimate peek behind the curtain and I want to share what I saw.

Still want to read it? If you say yes, you’re a sick mother-fucker. And welcome!

---ADAM T. 

Porn Store Book Story...

Some of you know I am currently working on a couple books. One of which is a "tell-all" book about working in a few of the sex toy stores and strip clubs I have been employed at. I'm interviewing past co-workers, dancers, struppers and more. I should have a good first draft done by January or so. I am hoping to either pitch it to a publisher or I shall simply self publish it. Of all the books I talk about, people seem to most be interested in this one. I tell all my secrets and stories of all the crazies, nutjobs, arseholes and nice people I encountered in my time there. Anyway, I thought I would share a story that is actually from the book to wet your whistle. Enjoy!

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One particular sunny day, I was counting down the register for a shift change. I was in a hurry because I wanted to get out of there in a decent time and head home. I heard the front door chime behind me and a man who resembled Phillip Seymour Hoffman walked up the counter. He wore a black sweatshirt, black sweatpants and looked unbathed. He curtsied to me as if he was a ballerina and introduced himself. 

“Hello kind sir. My mistress is in the car and demanded that I come in here and pick out a butt plug for me to wear for her. Could you please point me in the direction of your butt plug section?” He said simply and without losing his slight smile and happy tone. He sounded very eager to please. I paid it no mind and decided to answer him.

“Um, the wall over there has a bunch,” I said as I pointed out. I would normally step out onto the floor to guide the customer to the area I was mentioning, but I was in the middle of counting money.

He curtsied and thanked me for the help and went to the wall. I flashed my co-worker a weird look and they nodded back, stifling a chuckle. Moments later, the man came to the counter with his chosen plug. 

“I hope my mistress likes this one,” He said as he peeled out his wallet. I rang him up quickly, so that I wouldn’t lose my place in my counting the second drawer down. I tossed his plug in the bag with the receipt and thanked him. He curtsied and left with a smile. 

“What the hell was that all about?” My co-worker asked through a laugh. 

“I don’t know man. Just some role play I guess. Why they always gotta include us?!” I replied.

Moments later, the man came back in with the bag. He stopped at the same spot he was before, curtsies again and began to speak. “My mistress would like to know if I could use your backroom to insert this into me. Could I use your backroom please?” He said with a smile. By this point, I clued into the fact that as he walked, there was a slight rustling sound. I now realized that he was wearing an adult diaper. 

I shook my head. “No man, I’d rather you do that on your own time and place, okay?” I stated as nice as I could. He thanks me again, curtsies and left again. 

About five minutes later, I finished my count of the second drawer and was ready to gather my things when the door chimed again. The man was walking back in, and rather stiffly. Almost, uncomfortable, as if something was stuck up inside his own asshole. I knew what it was. He stopped in the same spot, curtsied and asked his newest question. 

“Hello! My mistress would like to know if I could clean your bathroom for you,” He said simply. I stood dumbfounded. 

“Um, what?” I said. It was all I could drip out of my mouth to say.

“I have been commanded by my mistress to get down on my hands and knees and scrub your toilets, your floors and even with a toothbrush. I would really do an excellent job for you. Would you let me clean your bathroom for you?” He said, simply. I grew tired of the game, odd as it already was.

“You know what dude, I think we got a handle on it,” I replied. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, quite sure. Thanks but no thanks,” I added. He curtsied and left again. This time, for good. I saw him get into the passenger side of a small Chevy and drive away. I never got a look at the driver, his beloved Mistress. But I am sure they were off to more adventures somewhere else down the road. But thank God our conversation was over!