Saturday, November 16, 2013

Porn Store Book Story...

Some of you know I am currently working on a couple books. One of which is a "tell-all" book about working in a few of the sex toy stores and strip clubs I have been employed at. I'm interviewing past co-workers, dancers, struppers and more. I should have a good first draft done by January or so. I am hoping to either pitch it to a publisher or I shall simply self publish it. Of all the books I talk about, people seem to most be interested in this one. I tell all my secrets and stories of all the crazies, nutjobs, arseholes and nice people I encountered in my time there. Anyway, I thought I would share a story that is actually from the book to wet your whistle. Enjoy!

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One particular sunny day, I was counting down the register for a shift change. I was in a hurry because I wanted to get out of there in a decent time and head home. I heard the front door chime behind me and a man who resembled Phillip Seymour Hoffman walked up the counter. He wore a black sweatshirt, black sweatpants and looked unbathed. He curtsied to me as if he was a ballerina and introduced himself. 

“Hello kind sir. My mistress is in the car and demanded that I come in here and pick out a butt plug for me to wear for her. Could you please point me in the direction of your butt plug section?” He said simply and without losing his slight smile and happy tone. He sounded very eager to please. I paid it no mind and decided to answer him.

“Um, the wall over there has a bunch,” I said as I pointed out. I would normally step out onto the floor to guide the customer to the area I was mentioning, but I was in the middle of counting money.
He curtsied and thanked me for the help and went to the wall. I flashed my co-worker a weird look and they nodded back, stifling a chuckle. Moments later, the man came to the counter with his chosen plug. 

“I hope my mistress likes this one,” He said as he peeled out his wallet. I rang him up quickly, so that I wouldn’t lose my place in my counting the second drawer down. I tossed his plug in the bag with the receipt and thanked him. He curtsied and left with a smile. 

“What the hell was that all about?” My co-worker asked through a laugh. 

“I don’t know man. Just some role play I guess. Why they always gotta include us?!” I replied.
Moments later, the man came back in with the bag. He stopped at the same spot he was before, curtsies again and began to speak. “My mistress would like to know if I could use your backroom to insert this into me. Could I use your backroom please?” He said with a smile. By this point, I clued into the fact that as he walked, there was a slight rustling sound. I now realized that he was wearing an adult diaper. 

I shook my head. “No man, I’d rather you do that on your own time and place, okay?” I stated as nice as I could. He thanks me again, curtsies and left again. 

About five minutes later, I finished my count of the second drawer and was ready to gather my things when the door chimed again. The man was walking back in, and rather stiffly. Almost, uncomfortable, as if something was stuck up inside his own asshole. I knew what it was. He stopped in the same spot, curtsied and asked his newest question. 

“Hello! My mistress would like to know if I could clean your bathroom for you,” He said simply. I stood dumbfounded. 

“Um, what?” I said. It was all I could drip out of my mouth to say.

“I have been commanded by my mistress to get down on my hands and knees and scrub your toilets, your floors and even with a toothbrush. I would really do an excellent job for you. Would you let me clean your bathroom for you?” He said, simply. I grew tired of the game, odd as it already was.

“You know what dude, I think we got a handle on it,” I replied. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, quite sure. Thanks but no thanks,” I added. He curtsied and left again. This time, for good. I saw him get into the passenger side of a small Chevy and drive away. I never got a look at the driver, his beloved Mistress. But I am sure they were off to more adventures somewhere else down the road. But thank God our conversation was over!

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