I looked at my Blogger dashboard as I was starting this and saw that this right here, is my 100th post! Wow. Thats insane. I remember starting this blog last january and its been a full 100 post later already? God, now I gotta be profound or something... Lets try by just me doing an update, my 4-1-1, my current status quo... or what the shit is on my brain:
--First order of things is the Diet. Some might be able to read between the lines that I haven't mentioned it in a bit and I got rid of the Diet Blog back at the Chat Forum. Well, there are reasons so hear me out. Yeah, I have officially decided to drop the diet thing. Not cause I have fell off the wagon and I want to make excuses. I got method behind my madness. Calm down. Okay, I have been mulling it over in my head. For YEARS I've tried to lose weight. I've tried to attain some great magic number that the magazines say I should be. Its a health thing, its a social thing, its a design thing. I need to be thin to be asthetically pleasing. But I don't NEED to be thin to be happy. I'm quite happy as I am. What I would LIKE to do is lose the 50 pounds I've gained over the past 5 years while sitting at my computer at my job. I'd like to get back down to 260, where I was. After that, I think its over. I love food too much. Its that simple. I live life. This is no excuse, its the fuckin' truth. Now sure one day some doctor with a triple digit income and a double digit IQ will say that I need to lose weight. Maybe I'll listen. But I am tired of depriving myself of living life the way I want to just to please others. Sure it might be cool to be thin to buy thin guy clothes. But really, I don't care. I'm happy the way I am. I'll be happier when I am back down to where I was. So, I have started a daily walking regimine. Its an effort for me to keep going down to where I want to be. So, thanks for your emails, posts and thoughts of support. I will endevour to get down to where I was, but after that, I think I'm done. Be happy for me cause I am happy. Okay? No loss, no defeat here. I didn't "give up." I just realized a truth about me. Thanks everyone. See yeh at the park when I walk and we'll hook up and head to Burger King afterwards.
--Comics have been on my mind constantly for about a year now. Truthfully 2006 wasn't the year I hoped it would. I did alot more new things, like get PLEASANT LIFE 1-2 done, attended two more cons than I've ever done, I did the Mayhem and Earthgirl side projects, and I kept our website going strong. (Almost 10,000 hits! I'm damn proud of that.) But I wanted more. By now, I wanted THE OUTCAST out, more buzz going about me, etc. But no one is going to hand that over to me. I have to make it happen for myself. I am amazed at some people who sit back and wonder why someone doesn't just wisk them away to fame and fortune. No, you get out of it what you put into it. Its all YOUR effort that makes or breaks you.
I am my harshest critic. I look back at art I did a month ago and hate it. I definatly see the progression I've made though. I look back at when Pleasant Hymns was in ashcans and how crappy the art was. How the story didn't have too much of a clear direction. It was finding its place, its voice, its style. Well now, with PLEASANT LIFE, I feel that I've achieved it. Pleasant Hymns was born out of the tragedy of my mother's death and it being a reaction to it. I never want it to end in a tragedy, like I never got to achieve my dreams cause I wasn't good enough with it. The people I can get the book to love it. I love it. I love to sit down and come up with what my characters are doing today and tomarrow. I love to read back on where they've been... cause I know where they are going.
The hardest part is getting everyone else to listen. Its an uphill battle. With everyone focused on Spiderman, X-men, Superman, Garfield, and whatever trendy thing is going on in the industry right now (in 2006, its ZOMBIES!), what room is there for me? I have never thought my work would be "mainstream." At most, I'd gain a cult following. And I'd dig that. It seems people would be more passionate about it all then, not just into my work cause WIZARD says its cool. My stuff has one thing above all other comics around, it has HEART. I know thats my strong point. I'm not a GREAT artist, I am a creator. I may not be Jim Lee or Brian Michael Bendis, but I am just as full creatively as they are I feel. I live, breathe and eat my work. I concentrate on it. I starve for knowledge on what its comparisons are, how to make it better, how to improve my work, etc. I want to hit every con I can. I want to show my work to everyone. I want everyone to know what its about. I'm not here to make money. I just want people to care. Isn't that what is most important? All you want is for someone to listen. Sure, many of you do, or else you wouldn't be reading this now. I thank you for keeping up with it.
---I'm sorry for the empty promises, the late releases, the pushed back releases. The main reason is Money. Lack of. Its hard for an indie creator with no distribution. No company to back them. Well, I'm hoping to fix that problem this year for good. Trust me on this, there are plans. and I hope it happens. There has always been no doubt in my mind that I was meant to make comics. No doubt. NONE! So, I know I will make it all up to you in the long run.
---This coming january is the 5th year anniversary of Pleasant Hymns. Its been an AMAZING five years. Ups, downs, excitement, failures. All a part of the process. And there is so much more to come. I mean, I'm doing SAN DIEGO this next year! The big one! I never would have dreamed of it. But its happening. I am so excited to be doing it. I'm so excited to be moving finally, making a new place, turning the page, building a life that I've always wanted. Away from these college fucks. Peace and quiet with my family and friends. I hope I can do right when I finally get to where I want to be.
Well, how about all this jibba jabba for a 100th post eh? A glimpse into my psyche of comics, food and future. Thanks for reading everyone and lets see what the next 100 posts brings...
Onward and upward!
ADAM T.
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