Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Open Dialog on Change

Friends,

The events of the past few weeks during this election has been a trying one. We're all sick to death of the debates, fighting, atrocities, etc. I won't begin to start unraveling it for you or trying to change your mind. Undoubtedly you have already made your decision. I've made mine already. Anything but Trump. He's an unqualified madman. But I won't go into that right now.

What I will talk about today is the things he said in an audio tape back in 2005 about how he can get women cause he's rich. He'll simply just "grab them by the pussy" and they will want it cause he's a celebrity. No I'm not here to talk about him, but more of the mentality of what he said and how some males in our society think that way.

I heard the phrase "rape culture" a while back and I denounced it in my brain. "There's no such thing," I had to think. But more and more, I am starting to believe it. I joined Tumblr this year and of course, my girlfriend and I share soooooo much porn back and forth. Its quite fun. However there are a TON of tumblr accounts dedicated to extreme misogyny. How women deserve and like to be raped, etc. Its insane.

I was reading an article today about how a woman said "send me your assault tweets" and she got some every 2 seconds. Link HERE - This goes beyond 'locker room talk,' this all but confirms to me the existence of rape culture.

 I have been a witness to assaults in my life. One I can remember vividly is that I was working at Mcdonalds years ago and one of my crew members, a 16 year old girl was pushing in napkins into the condiment bar. One of our older daily customers came up to her and said "You know you can push on this and see if its full," pointing to his crotch. She was so scared and angry that she quit.

I cannot tell you how many conversations I've had with women about people doing inappropriate things to or at them. Often I will talk with sex workers (either dancers, entertainers, web cam girls, etc) about all the crazy things said or done to them. They laugh it off and I cry inside a little bit. I understand fantasy, but I don't understand using it in every day reality. While in some cases I think terms like "slut" or "whore" can be embraced (in fantasy for example), but it cannot be our everyday mental norm for everyone.

On racism, I saw a post yesterday on a news source I frequent about how "Black Lives Matter" is a racist movement, as bad as the KKK. Its insane. All that movement is doing (justifiably so) is raising questions and awareness of how we are treating each other. But its just dismissed and not even understood. Just labeled and shipped out. But I feel like its beginning to open the dialog we need to have about it.

I appreciate the open dialog we're having about all these things like rape culture, race issues and more as we move forward into this century. With as much bad shit going on, at least we're starting to wake up and shine some light on things. Perhaps its the budding of technology that is exposing all these slimy underbelly things that have always existed and now we can shine light on it and evolve past it. We must do this personally and in our society at large. It will not happen tomorrow, but I hope the next generation can slam dunk the ball we're tossing at them for the layup.

In the erotica I have illustrated or have written, it has always been VERY important to not depict women as victims or unwilling recipients to whatever erotic action that is taking place. In fact, women are encouraged to feel that liking sex is normal. I have done commission work to the contrary when I was younger and hard up for money and I always hated myself for that. And you know what? That stuff gets more attention than my "safe" erotica. It opened doors for me, but I chose to go down a different path. I chose to say what I felt about sex and the erotic, rather than go with what everyone seemed to tell me they wanted from that world.

Every now and then I will get an email or feedback message on the erotica I've published from a female reader. They praise me on making female friendly erotica and that its not just another book where girls are tied up and raped. Those are among the best feedback emails I get and it warms me to know that yes, they get it. Thank God! They get what I'm trying to do. It makes it all worthwhile.

As we move forward, our thoughts will change. Our evolution as one race and open hearted toward the genders will continue. We must keep talking and asking the questions. We must always move forward and help usher in change. No one is perfect, especially me. But damn are we trying hard.

Stay open my friends and use your voice for change. Reveal and talk it all out. We're close to the answer.

--T

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