Friday, December 29, 2017

Wrapping it Up... In More Ways Than One

Here we are my friends! My big annual year end wrap up!! This is going to be a big blog full of info and one that will stick with you. Some big announcements and reveals at the end. Let’s just get to it.

2017 sucked. Not as bad as 2016 did, but it still had the feel of a pants full of angry, hungry sea urchins, covered in Tabasco and rubbing alcohol. Politics sucked. Drama sucked. Celebrity deaths sucked... but we also gotta remember the good things that happened. Here are my personal lists for the year:

Sons of Apollo
Spocks Beard: Snow Live
NIN: Add Violence/Not the Actual Events
U2: Songs of Experience
Roger Waters: Is this the life we really want

Star Wars: The Last Jedi
Trainspotting 2
The Founder

The Orville
Doctor Who

Doug Stanhope: Digging Up Mother
Invincible (ending early 2018. Rip)

The IT Crowd
Nightmare Before Xmas/Its a Wonderful Life (yes I finally saw them)
Mongolian BBQ
Fateful Findings/Neil Breen movies!!

Star Trek Discovery
Trump (nuff said)
Bat Blazer: RIP
Depression issues/therapy
Coworker’s baby health issues
Weight/health decline

Anna’s Kidney Transplant success
Tool/Roger Waters live!
Horrorhound in March
500th episode of Idiothead Morning Show
Two successful Kickstarter campaigns
Snes Classic release (I scored one! Fuck you, scalpers!)
Gumroad launch/success
New Idiothead music
New Car (aka The Pony)
Burlesque Show visit
Video Game parties with friends
Seeing Doug Stanhope live and getting a hug from him

IN MEMORIUM: Chris Cornell, Tom Petty, Hugh Hefner, Harry Dean Stanton, June Foray, Nichole Bass, Gregg Allman, Adam West, Martin Landau, Bernie Wrightson, Sonny Landham, Fats Domino, Chuck Berry, George Romero, Daisy Berkowitz, John Hurt, Shyla Stylez, Lawrence Montangne, Stewart Moss, Bernie Casey, Skip Homeier, Miguel Ferrer, Don Marshall, Len Wein, Tommy Castillo, Henry Deutschendorf and probably more I am forgetting at the moment.


2017 was a bummer of a year. I started it out with goals and dreams and one by one they fell by the wayside. I spent a lot of time digging myself out of a lot of emotional windfall that remained from the previous year of events, so much so that I tried a therapist. Some things we did together worked, others did not. I let my health decline, sharply. I had a major scare of hand and wrist trouble. I thought the art part of me was over. I got into drinking heavily. I kept my feelings inside and didn't express myself well. Instead I ate and bought my feelings. Oh, how I did! It got bad. We had to cancel grand plans and vacations we wanted to do. We dealt with a car that was dying on us and let the stress of the outside world get to us. We spiraled... but importantly, we also healed.

I made progress on some new things. I made two new books and launched them via Kickstarter. The first was TALES FROM THE GORE... a horror comic tribute to my friend, Caleb. Then I took a bunch of short stories I had around, plus pinup and sketch art and released THE EROTIC ZONE graphic novel. Both were well funded and rated highly among those who supported them. I kept the podcast up, while attempting a vlog channel that sadly fizzled. I learned new skills at the day job that allows for better job security and personal growth.

My personal time was very limited. I barely could venture out to see friends. I couldn't take the time to see and absorb new media as much as I wanted to. I tried to play video games and watch new things when I could. But the whirlwind life that we live led to great periods of exhaustion, frustration and ultimately, unproductive habits.


So now is the part where we discuss the goals of 2018. Before I go into this and finally cement the thoughts in stone, I will admit that moments ago, I took a long break in writing this and listened to the music that inspired some of what is to come... Just to play with the thoughts that have been in my head about all of this. I had to be sure that what I am about to say is really what I want. And after the last track ended, I still know... it is. Here we go.

Goals and resolutions are essentially embracing change. As I write this, I am a few days away from turning forty years old. I cannot keep doing what I always have. I can feel my body breaking. I must change what I do to it. I can feel my attitude sinking. I must change who I allow to effect it. I can feel my dreams fading... I must rekindle the love for them and daydream it all up again.

All of this is essentially, redefinition. Redefinition is changing who you are and that is nothing to be scared of. It is a major part of growth. Your values, goals, dreams... all of it changes. You learn to find what you really want and go after it. You finally look at the past and just let it go. Fucking goddammit already... LET IT GO!

So I am. Ive thought long and hard about this. My approach to things. My goals. The next phase. How I accomplish what I want. All of it.

Some of this is personal and I am not going to go into it here. But it involves better living, healthier living, sane living. But the other stuff, the big stuff, effects you here. So here it is.

In early 2018, the IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW PODCAST is ending. This BLOG that you are reading now, is ending. My physical online book STORE, is closing. And eventually, as a website will likely shut down.

Um, what?? Yes, I said it.

Am I quitting? No. Fuck no. I couldn't if I wanted to. Art is how I chose to express myself and my life here on this ball of mud. You are stuck with me. That is, if you want to come along for the ride.

So I'm happy to officially announce that in early 2018, everything will transition over to my own personal PATREON PAGE. A new blog, new podcast, new music, monthly comics, other art stuff, writing.... all of it... is going there. as a site has been open for over 12 years. I have given out tons of free content during this time. Podcasts, 1,700 blog posts, pics, sketches, comics, audio, etc. All of which will remain and archived here for the time being. But NEW content will all go to the Patreon page. Yes, it will be behind a paywall, of sorts. But there are good reasons for this.

1~ It will allow me to fund my efforts and keep doing them, as well as contributing money toward my future and the future of my family.
2~ It helps me police who can see my stuff and what stuff can be seen. Ive had to keep stuff here at very SFW and I could not fully show progress stuff of my erotica I have been doing the last few years that seems to pay the bills way more than anything else I have attempted.
3~To finally and fully embrace my erotica work and put it more at the forefront of my business model.

This is a maturing, really. While I will miss the old ways of doing things, I have to be honest with myself and say it is not working. I get a nice amount of hits and downloads of the blog and podcast but it has not transitioned to many sales of physical media. My digital downloads and commissions have increased big time. Conventions are not an option because of the expense of them and very little payback. Its time to evolve and go to the big convention in the sky and be paid to do it. I will talk more about the Patreon breakdown in a later blogpost but it most likely will be $1 monthly access to blogs, $10 access to monthly erotica stories, downloads, podcasts, stories, commission shares, book sketches, BTS sketches and tutorials, etc. A LOT of the work will be erotica based but other things will find homes there. PLEASANT LIFE 2 will likely be dolled out in sections on the site... as well as other comics I have promised in the past but have been unable to finish. ANNA POCALYPSE 2, LINGERIE PARTY MASSACRE and others, for example. All will go on there. I will do a physical book run for those that want it, probably via Kickstarter or something. But I will not order many beyond those initial orders to stock a physical book store anymore. I will have to keep one available in some capacity to house the novels I have coming up... those long long long long long long long promised novels I have in various stages. I will clear my plate and get those out there. Promise.

The Patreon is the next step for me. To be honest, I am scared to do it. Its entirely possible I could close shop here, launch it and be doing all that work for like 3 to 5 people. Or maybe I could find many more that want my content. But I gotta chase the whimsies. I have to take the shot. I am inviting you guys to join me there for the ride. For less than the cost of a 20 oz soda, you can get all the content Ive always offered here and more. I think it is okay to ask people if they want to pay for what I do. After almost 25 years in self publishing, I think I am able to do that, finally. Ive paid the dues and then some.

So look for all of that early in the new year.

On the health front, at one point this year I was at the heaviest I had ever been at 415 pounds. I am proud to say that today I weigh 366 pounds. I know, its like throwing a chair off the Titanic, but hey, its a start! When I actually start walking again and kicking the soda demon once again, the pounds will start dripping off again like they did before. Id be happy to be around 250. Just being a fat guy would be fine enough. Raise the stats a bit. Get out of 4X shirts. It is doable.

I have so much to save and plan for. These first few months are going to be difficult. With dieting, saving money, working lots of overtime and drawing in every spare moment I got to launch this Patreon thing... its going to be a challenge. But it is one I am ready for. I cannot look to outside sources to make myself happy, it starts right here. Change comes from within. And to turn 40 is a life change. One I am ready to embrace and kick some ass with. I look forward to all that is to come. Good or bad, tough or easy.. I'm ready to face it.

I wish everyone a safe and happy new year. I wish everyone to follow their own personal goals of change and growth. We can change and be the better version of ourselves. Tell the world to eat your ass and balls and go out and make it happen. We get one shot at this life, folks. Time to step to the line and take the fucking shot. Get it done.

Onward and upward! ~~T

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