Saturday, July 03, 2010

What I'd do if I were in charge....

Although this would never happen, lets have fun with it and get my serious answers to it. What I would do to popular franchise films if I had the chance:

STAR WARS: No more movies. I’d do a cartoon television series. One of the following: The early adventures of Han and Chewie with a re-creation of the NEW HOPE scene in the cantina meeting Luke for the series finale. Think how awesome that would be! –OR- a cartoon series of post-Jedi happenings. The Dark Empire stuff. Some of the novels that I hear are great, etc. Who cares about a Clone War that a-the outcome doesn’t matter and b-we already know what happens to the characters so there’s no suspense. Doesn’t really matter if you get the original actors to do the voices or not. So long as the scripts are there and based on stuff already established in the books so hardcore fans cannot bitch about it. I haven’t read them myself, but I hear they are well liked. So why not do em?

STAR TREK: What should the second film be? My idea is to do a major film involving the Klingons. Yeah, its been done, but not in this new alternate universe. And you HAVE to involve the Klingons as enemies or establish them as enemies because they are so important to Star Trek lore. But I propose to lead a second film into a third one by introducing Khan and the supermen before the second film is over. A huge cliffhanger guarantees asses in seats for the quickly greenlit part three. Introduce the possibility of Khan just like the Joker was introduced at the tail end of Batman Begins. So the audience goes: Holy crap! I know whats coming and I cannot wait!!!

THE HOBBIT: Wait till Peter Jackson is so enthralled in the project that he just HAS to make it. Only one film. A great celebration. Done.

SUPERMAN: I personally don’t think we need any more. But if you were gonna do it, you need to just reboot it. Cause seeing all the old Donner stuff in Superman Reborn just made me want to watch the first two again, rather than that piece of shit. So do a trilogy. First one: Origin, and establish Brainiac as a huge enemy. Lex Luthor also. Second movie. Lex Luthor and establish either Darkseid or Bizzarro. End on major cliffhanger like a death of Superman via Doomsday or Lois Lane dying, something like that. Part three: Ressurection, kicking ass and ending it with Lois knowing who Supes is and they marry. The end.

BATMAN: If my must do a third one, the obvious choice is to do a RIDDLER story. Riddler is always my favorite Batman villain so why not go for it. Really put Batman through a chase and he is also fighting against his tarnished image via the Dark Knight. The cops have to turn to Batman to stop the Riddler, so he saves the day and all is revealed that he actually stopped Harvey Dent cause the pain is healed over. Batman is king. No more movies! OR if you do… do THE DARK NIGHT RETURNS say in 5-10 years from that point and take Robin, and all the other stuff as read. That way also you can cast a new Joker and he can be an older dude.

INDIANA JONES 5: I don’t think we need one. But it defiantely will have to avoid CGI and aliens. Something Earthbound in artifact. Downplay Shia Labouf as well. Have Marion kick ass again instead of hanging in the background the whole time. Finally, in the end have Indy almost die but somehow survives. He leads new adventures with his son, who now has earned his place as a premiere archeologist. Maybe even earns the hat. Maybe…

BATTLESTAR GALACTICA movie: We Don’t Need one. No. No no no no no no no no no nonononononononnononononononononnononoooooooooooooooooooooo!

SPIDERMAN: We don't need one. Especially a reboot. Its already been done. I'm sick of these franchise films where if you do a bad one, you just get a "do over." Its rediculous. But you have to do one, I'd say do a sequal to the first three and use The LIZARD, as he's been established in the first three films. Use Lizard and Kraven and really make the focus of Spiderman's life with MJ at the forefront. Don't cloud it with characters. Maybe the newspaper fires him cause the internet is impacting newspapers. Give him some depth as to why he stays being Spiderman and put a strain on his and MJ's relationship. But in reality, I don't think we need another Spiderman movie. Not really. So pass.

PREACHER: This has been a long dormant project. But if you were gonna do it, the only way it will work is if you condense the material into one movie. Maybe do the first three trades and end on Daranoque's death, the rise of Alfather Herr Starr. You need someone like Kevin Spacey to be Herr Starr but most importantly, get Clint Eastwood out of retirement to play Saint of Killers. You need someone extremely impactful in that role to make it work. So that every time he is on screen, he steals it. But in reality, you don't need a Preacher movie. The comic stands fine on its own.

---In a perfect world, Hollywood listens to the fans a bit and brings something unique and new to the table in anything they do. In a perfect world. And I am not saying I am an expert on how to make movies. I'm just a fan and wish the makers luck. It can't be easy to please everyone, including the investors of the flick! But hell hath no fury like angry nitpicky fan-folk!

T

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