Diary of a Moody Madman.

 5-27-12

The wife wakes me up at 10:20am, demanding we go to lunch. I cannot keep my eyes open at all. In fact, it hurts to open them! But I watch the bots play and it inspires me to wake up. We get dressed and head to Culvers for lunch. Then to Michaels where I get some new art supplies, including some tinted paper and colored pencils to try out. The wife takes off for work, with the promise that we (meaning I) will booze tonight. And after the week I’ve had, I need it! I spend some time drawing with the tinted paper and then switch to inking sketch cards. Then I take a long break and watch a couple Doctor Who episodes with the bots and we play bounce. He seems to eat everything in the house in alphabetical order!

Finally around 8pm, he’s laying around so I put him in his PJs and we watch some STAR WARS before I put him to bed around 8:45 and he passes out. My co-worker who wanted my shift for Tuesday texts me to say that my boss would not approve him taking it for some reason, so I get kinda bummed about that, as I wanted the extra day to catch up on work. JJ calls me and we chat for a while about all things Heroes and how excited we are for the show. Then my dad texts me and we chat for a while. I text with the wife in-between cleaning up the house and finally she announces she’s on her way. She gets here and I get my drink on. A long night of fun later (details of which seem quite fuzzy now), I pass out around 12:30am.

5-28-12

Bots kicks his door at 6:30am. GAH!!!!! And I get up and watch cartoons with him while drifting off to a bit more sleep. I get up around 7:45, and cook us some eggs and wheat toast and check online shit. The wife continues to sleep in the other room. I get stuff ready for Heroes Con and update online stuff. The wife finally awakes and I convince her to go to Staples with me so I can make some copies for prints and print cards. Then we head to Five Guys for some lunch, then check a couple places to see if they are open so I can get card protectors. Defeated, we head back home so I can shit, only to realize I still needed scotch tape and other things so we head back out and the wife and kid get ice cream at Dairy Queen and I stop at Walgreens and get my stuff. We get back home and I start cutting out print cards. The wife plays with the bots and then takes off for work. The bots curls up on the chair for a mini nap as I update stuff and work on putting together prints. I watch “Ghostbusters” on Netflix. Then order pizza for the bots (he eats the heck out of pizza toppings) and we watch some cartoons. Then its bath time and some chill time for him while I listen to podcasts and gather reference for a long night of artworking! I text Lee to see if there’s a show and I get no reply. Bots and I play and hang till around 8:50 when I put him down. He tosses and turns until around 10pm finally falling asleep. I work on a couple pieces to sell at Heroes Con before moving into coloring some sketch Cards. The wife comes home and we chat briefly until she tries to sleep. It doesn’t take so she gets up, eats a bit and we talk some more before she finally succumbs to the sandman. I know starting tomorrow I gotta do shifts at the day job, so I take advantage of the quiet night and keep working until 2:30am on cards and a bit in my sketchbook, lying down some recent thoughts and notes I have as well as possible images for Heroes Con auction piece. Then I lay down watching some AVGN and I pass out by 3am. All night, all I could think about was how much I was dreading coming in to the day job for the next week with all I had to get done at home. (sigh) I can tell it is going to be a loooooooong week.

5-29-12

Kelly set the alarm for me to wake up at 6:55 to put bots on the bus. I get up, barely able to stay awake and get him ready, update blog and get him on the bus. I pass back out till Noon when he gets off for the day. I check online news, mail and blog update. I do a lot of online updating and writing a new blog and various promotional stuff. Also emailing some folks I haven’t talked to in a while. Then I take a break and play a round of bounce with the bots and then some action figures. I chat with Shane for a while online as well. The wife gets home around 3:30, and we head out to the post office (with me stopping off for a slurpee). Once there, there is a line out the door, so we leave defeated. Then we head to Kroger to get a few groceries for the bots and ourselves (mostly for him). We get home and I lay on the couch for a few minutes relaxing, dreading the night of work ahead of me. But finally I can delay it no longer and I get dressed and head to work. I listen to some upbeat positive music on the way, to get me into a good mood once there (hoping it would carry me through the night!).

See, there’s a huge corporate big-wig meeting/birthday dinner for the president of the chain of adult strip clubs I work for.  ---EDIT--- I had written a blow by blow of my night and the people I encountered, but I prefer to save it all for the time being for another venture. Besides, big brother is watching and I have to watch myself. In a nutshell, it was a rough night but I survived it. ---END EDIT---

I work the rest of my shift and head home after dropping my co-worker off and updating the blog and checking online shit before passing out around 3:30am.

5-30-12

I wake up around 10:30 and check online shit. The wife convinces me to head out and get stuff done and get lunch. We get bots off the bus and hit Logans for lunch and then the post office. Then we head back to home to relax. But decide to head back out and go to Clems comics and Target and then back home. I get some card protectors for the print cards for Heroes Con sales and a few comics as well. The wife heads back out to a thrift store to look for a new bassinet for the baby to come. Bots sits and enjoys his new Team Umizoomi disc. The wife returns and she starts to set up the crib, in full nesting mode. I help out a bit but realize its close to time to head to work. I leave in a good mood, listening to Joe Rogan podcast the whole way to work. I get there and start to drop some jokes about what happened last night but I am shot down quickly by a co-worker. What happened, I am not exactly sure. I perceive it one way and honestly, I was quite upset about it. But after a bit, I let it go and move on with my day. Finally after 8 long hours, the shift is over and I head home after dropping my co-worker off. I get home, warm up some left overs the wife left me and I listen to the end of the Rogan podcast while updating blog. I decide against staying up to do art and hit the bed around 4am.

5-31-12

I get up at 6:55 and get bots onto the bus by 7:30. I am back out like a light by 7:32. I wake back up by 11:50 to check email and get bots off the bus. We go through his usual “I just got off the bus so I am moody” hour or so after his arrival, when he finally decides to quit being a slappy and then things are fine. I call and talk with my boss about a letter I sent her through the company email, asking for next time we have a meeting for me to have five minutes to discuss some things with my co-workers. There are a lot of frustrations I have about the job and the way we treat/talk about each other and I wanted to help clear the air about that, and this constant griping about the fact that I have an availability due to my wife’s schedule and my being unable to take on many new shifts because of it. I’m just tired of hearing stuff about me behind my back. She agrees and we compromise for me to write a letter to put in the comm. Book. I spent about an hour and a half on the letter, outlining my thoughts but making it quite uplifting in the end basically saying that we can develop and be better people to each other and make work there fun and enjoyable. I feel like I nailed it and send it off to her. I feel much better about everything.  Plus I agree to go in an hour early due to a call in.

The wife gets home and we chat for a while. I get dressed and head into work, expecting my letter to have already started positive ripples throughout the building. I get there, no letter. Check my work messages and my boss tells me that after reading it, they decided not to post it. I am greatly disappointed as I feel that my honest assessment of the whole thing is what could have possibly salvaged any and all feelings in the store. Its rough to point out but it just seems that everyone does not get along and there’s tons of tension in the air. And its difficult to look forward to going there. I had hoped to change it and in the process change us a bit for the better. But my efforts I realize have now fell on deaf ears. So I make the ultimate decision. Just gonna disconnect. Its dead, I can’t fix it. It comes down to me wanting to fix the world and make it better. Really, its not my place and I stress unimportant matters.  Instead I should be focusing on my REAL problems. So I make the decision then and there to just let it go. One of my biggest issues is that I care too much about things beyond my control and I bring myself and others down in the process. So I put this concept in my brain as another thing I must work on to get “healthier.” I have to. Or else I am going to go insane. It’s a completely useless waste of time and energy.

So I work my shift, my extra long shift and it is quite uneventful. Finally around 4am, I punch out and head home, dead exhausted. I pass out around 4:25am. Tina Turner said it best: "I don’t care who’s wrong or right, I don’t really wanna fight no more."  Preach it girl! At least I got the upcoming weekend off!

6-1-12

I wake up at 6:55 and get bots onto the bus. I am back asleep by 7:40. I wake back up at 11:55 and am disoriented beyond belief. Just out of it. Doing stupid things, walking into walls. Certainly not myself. Need Caffeine!!! I get bots and instantly he starts his “I am off the bus so I will throw a tantrum mode.” I’m not in the mood for it today so I just let him roll through it, ignoring it. Finally he’s his usual smiling self and life goes on. I check email and pencil on some  sketch cards whose deadline is fast approaching! I stop after a bit and play with bots and text the wife to make plans to hit Logans once she gets home. She agrees and we meet her outside around 4:20. We hit Logans for my late lunch and then head to Walmart so she can get bubble mailers. Then we head home and I call Brian back. Then we play with the kid in the bedroom. Then I get up and clean my office area and unearth everything I need for a serious weekend of artworking. Out of boredom, the wife heads out to the thrift store and promises to bring home Taco Bell. She does and we eat hearty. She lies down with bots shortly thereafter to pass out to TV. I get to work on cards, while catching up with Game of Thrones. Then I pop in Empire Strikes Back and watch that while coloring some of them. Finally around 3:30am, I head to bed, a very successful night of artworking indeed!