Monday, January 30, 2017

Shake it Off!


Hello friends!

Last week sucked. No other words can fit the bill. It just sucked. So much turmoil in the day to day and all over the world. It seems like everything is unraveling and everything is unfair.

First of all everything going on with our new president (I won't go there... but suffice to say I'm not too happy), then some disappointment with things involving my son and the person who hurt him... basically she will get away with it. After months and months of investigating and a partial confession and a long night of photos taken/deep exams at the hospital, nothing will happen. He seems fine but I am not. I will never forget it. Then just working a shit ton of overtime, asshole drama, some long discussions about a future that is impossible for me to achieve yet. I've just had to wake up to some realities.

The reality is that the dream life I want, the dream person I want to be, I cannot have... yet.

My goals are still there but the chance to achieve them are still in its infancy. As I try to wrestle down the feelings and hurt I have about it, I keep struggling to be on the righteous path and do the right thing. The smart thing. I do this while battling my own personal demons, and the fight isn't strategically set for the best outcome, despite the odds. We all got shit sandwiches on our plate and we're all struggling to gulp it down as though it were the best hash you've ever been served.

So last night, after a long week of struggle and a weekend filled with stress and anguish, talking about all the shit that brings me down, I wanted to drink. And I did. I got some booze and I inhaled it. The buzz came on. But before that, I had to crank out some pencils on a couple commissions. And while I was drinking and listening to some Carol King, I couldn't keep the micron pens out of my hand. So I did a little inking... which turned into more inking... which then turned into ALL the inking I had on my desk. I ended up inking four of the commissions and five of the newest Pleasant Life 2 pages I had pencilled two months ago. By the time the smoke cleared I was sobered up and driven to get work done.

This morning I woke up at 8:20. Only about five hours of sleep. But I found myself driven to get back up and get things done. I finished the last page of the Zombie horror book and scanned it in for the process. Then I scanned all that I had inked the night before. I scanned my tax stuff and sent it to my CPA best friend. All while I did this I was converting a shit ton of old .avi files to Mp4 for future DVD burnings. Just putting out the little fires of small projects I've had on my plate for the last five years or so. I also cleaned out my phone and put new shit on it. New exercise music mixes for my treadmill that will arrive this week.

Some days I wake up and I wish I hadn't woke up at all. Other times I wake up early, so driven to make the day my bitch. Today was one of those days and it was one I needed. Time and life have been dragging us all down. I was talking with a friend yesterday who was saying the same thing and the personal crap that is going on in his life. We're all feeling it. We're all trying to shake it off and gulp down the shit sandwich.

But hey, we're still here. Still standing. Still us.

We get to get up and take another shot at earning our goals and beating our demons. We get to get up and create and make art and spread love. We're trying. And no evil can break that down.

Today was a day I needed. Tomorrow might be another story. But for now, I am ok.

And maybe that's enough.

_____________________________

Okay, some PLUGS!



These guys reviewed my book: PLEASANT LIFE: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION! Check out their review HERE Thanks guys!

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Thanks for your continued reading and support!

--T

1 comment:

Caleb Davis said...

It sucks that things have been rough, but it's great to have a creative outlet to pour it all into. I know my writing improves dramatically when I get some strong emotions fired up. So I'm really glad to see you channeling that into some of your quality inking work, instead of letting it become too overwhelming and turn back into depression.

Keep on trucking, mate. You have our support.