New PLEASANT LIFE is Live to read!

My friends, today is a day to remember. Its been years in the making. PLEASANT LIFE 2 is now officially launched. You can read the first 8 pages of it now on my PATREON PAGE right now by signing up for only $1 a month. ONE DOLLAR. That is less than a soda, less than a coffee. Bottom of purse change that goes to help support an artist, his family and the work that he strives to keep providing over 26 years. Here's a look at a couple pages:

I cannot begin to say what today means for me. Its the biggest step in a long time, years long, journey for me. To be working on these characters again, to empty some shit in my personal basement and giving it to those who have followed me through the years... there's no explaining it. I can't. Its the biggest thing I've ever done, honestly. This story is a journey and I invite you to take it with me.

For your $1 a month at my Patreon, you get a few pages of PLEASANT LIFE posted to read every month, plus exclusive blogs, sketches, podcasts and more. You get ALL THE THINGS, for only $1 a month. Join me for the journey by clicking here: http://www.patreon.com/ADAMTALLEY


Thanks for your support, T

Bettie Page Kickstarter and other goings on

Yesterday was Harlan Ellison's birthday, so I am inspired to write. I wrote a blog back at the PATREON page I run, but very few see that. I try to still provide some content here at my trusty old website for those who still trickle in. Thank you for coming back. Either on your own or prompted by me posting of its existence on social media. Lots of things bombarding your brain and demanding your attention everyday. I'm glad you took a minute to listen to me.

I did some cards for a BETTIE PAGE card set through Dynamite comics. The set is currently on Kickstarter with just over two days left in the campaign. I want to tug on your coat right quick to talk about it. I did 100 cards for the set and I am very proud of the work I did. Here are a few to wet your whistle: 

The packs of cards are now on Kickstarter, with various options to get multiple packs, a resin statue, signed wrestler Jerry Lawler card, additional promo cards and "choose your own sketch card artist" option... where you can even choose me! And all packs come with sketch cards inside! The packs are a tad expensive, but for the bang for the buck, its a great deal... especially if  you are a fan of the pinup queen like I am! I think I am going to even get in on this one and choose myself as the artist if I can. But I'd also love to see that resin statue sitting on my shelf! To work on Bettie Page in a official capacity was a dream come true. Might be my favorite set I ever worked on! If you are a fan like me, check it out here:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dynamiteent/bettie-page-deluxe-ultra-premium-trading-cards/description

Also you can get my new book: LATE NIGHT SHORTS vol 1 on Gumroad via digital download! Click here:

https://gumroad.com/phymns

The month of May was crazy. Appearances, hard work, hitting a comic con, and playing catch up the whole month. Politically things have gone insane. Things are ramping up and people are more divided than ever. I voiced my opinion on some things and lost a friend out of it. I suppose I am not alone in this. But I can't help how I feel about things going on. This whole thing in Georgia, Alabama and other places is scary beyond reason. Feels like we are slipping backward so much, that I don't know if we can pull out of it again. They say the economy is booming, but that is simply because everyone is angry and depressed about it all. So what happens when people are angry and depressed? They buy things. I know I have bought things. Thus, boom! Economy booms. Everyone is distracted and stupidly happy with their new gizmos. I don't blame them. You can't take it with you. And we are so powerless to stop the big chess match in Washington. So we try to stay focused at home and locally, keeping our own back porches swept off. The struggle continues.

I got a lot of things on my TO DO list. I got the Vampirella cards due next month. I got Patreon stories to get caught up on. Starslam 4 is almost 80 pages in and I want to have that done by the end of summer. Pleasant Life 2 is still being worked on. I want to finish the Porn Store tell all book by Christmas. (Perfect gift for Xmas don't you think?) I have a few side stuff I gotta get done for myself and others that I have promised. I have monthly commission work and three very loyal clients outside of all that to do pages for. Then to keep up on blogs, podcasts, etc... So yeah, its a busy time. But isn't it always? I wouldn't know what else to do with myself if I didn't have these forms of expression. I'm glad when anyone takes a listen. Thank you!

So far this year I finished the KISS card set for Dynamite, as well as a BETTIE PAGE card set I mentioned above. Both are either out or close to being out. I do have return cards available for these sets, I just haven't had the chance to promote them or sell them. I also am waiting for my proof back from the printer for my new erotica collection: LATE NIGHT SHORTS vol 1. Once approved, I'll get the books a week or two later. Then gotta mail out all the copies. This week I gotta finish some commissions for the Kickstarter and finish up others that are long overdue. I'm not the workhorse I used to be. Dragging my ass across the finish line. But I'll make it! I always do.

Thanks for reading, friends. Check out that Bettie Page Kickstarter above! It expires in a couple days. Jump on it, son!

Luvs, T

STARSLAM 4 is coming!

Hey friends,

The world is going buck wild right now for AVENGERS: ENDGAME. I saw it last weekend before my work shift. It was amazing, of course. I'm glad everyone is mostly digging it out there. I'm more of a DC guy honestly, but they've kind of shit the bed on their movies as of late. Over 22 films they have really built up something unique and wonderful.

Brings me to some thoughts. This year I've been doing comics for 25 years and I have no plans to stop for the moment. I've created characters and worlds for people to dwell in and its been an honor. I have people email and message me often saying that they've re-read this or that story or did a binge of my stuff and really get into the ins and outs of it. I've even had a couple tell me they counted how many times certain characters did this or that in STARSLAM! Wow! Its strange to see people get into what I do with the same zeal and excitement that I do with the stuff I like. Its an incredible feeling.

With these comics, I have built my own worlds. In re-reading STARSLAM, I have created so many characters over three books and a few short story expansions. I already promised a stand alone DEFENDERS OF EARTH comic. I've been working on a sequel to my own PLEASANT LIFE comic during the downtime.

But I am now going to publicly say this:

I miss STARSLAM. I wonder what she's up to. So much so that a few months ago I pulled out the story idea I had and started working. I am 70 pages into it. Its hard to ignore the pull that character and her world has for me. So I'm happy to say that yes, I am working on "STARSLAM 4" and PLEASANT LIFE 2 at the same time. I hope to release both within the next year!

To tease:

No spoilers. Out of context. Assume nothing. But this new book will be awesome. I'm enjoying the fuck out of drawing it. STARSLAM will rise again. How? That's the fun part!

The future is bright my friends. Onward!

--T

Roller Coaster

Another deep post. Not super uplifting, so be warned. 

Just in another one of my turns downward. I've been riding a high the last couple weeks while even deflecting some BS in my life. But I've been proud of myself because I have been handling things well. I've stayed productive and been there for others who needed me. I felt like that would be enough but it wasn't. Yesterday I fell hard again into the depression. The endless roller coaster of up and down. I hate it, believe me. 

When that happens, I either want to get super vocal and turn it into something. (Art, podcast, comic, writing, etc.) Or I get very very very quiet. I want to disconnect. And since one of the major things to lead me to the depression was the ever enduring battle of the goddamn mother fucking piece of shit Facebook addiction (Which I thought I had licked btw), I decided its time to end the bullshit. I put out an announcement on the platform saying "yes, this is one of those I'M LEAVING FACEBOOK posts." I figured I owed it to people who do care and look at my online presence there as a sort of light in their day. I certainly am not seeking attention by posting something like that. Not in a "poor me, please console me" kind of way. Just in a "hey, this isn't healthy for me anymore so if you want to follow me elsewhere, here is where" kind of way. If they care enough, they will seek me out. I'm not hard to find. I gotta quit paying attention to the numbers and base my "worth" on those things.

The reasons are various and I won't go into them. Doesn't matter. Point is, that it is causing me to stumble and it needs to be tossed away. I can already hear my brain say "but what about this or that person, or this group or this band?" I just gotta stop listening to it. I can follow whatever band or person at another site. I can get my news elsewhere. Just gotta disconnect. Gotta stop the anger there. Its like putting your finger in the hole in the dam. It will work for now. 

I got anger. Deep rooted anger. Some of it got messed with this week. Various sources. I need to feel free to write about it and turn it into something. That is how I deal with things. I mean, my comic PLEASANT LIFE started out about my feelings about my mom's death. Its therapy for me. And I need therapy. I cannot afford it now that my insurance has changed, I gotta start paying on my college loans now after deferring them for almost 15 years and soon my child support will be rising. Seems like for every step I start to get ahead, I get taken back 9 more. Likely I will never get ahead and have it all fixed. Something always pulls me back. 

But that's okay. That is life. So it goes. "It is what it is and whatever," as the RUSH song says (The Garden). I deal with it. 

Things aren't bad. I am blessed in this life. I just confirmed plans to have all three of my boys in the same place on Christmas Day! For me, that is a miracle. I am so looking forward to watching them and my fiancee open their presents together. Then I get to watch them to eat a big meal I will cook. My family. My life. Its my treat for getting through the rough times. It makes it so worth it and it keeps me going. 

I'm seeing new PLEASANT LIFE pages for the first time in many years and it gets me so excited to see it finished. I'm also dreaming of what STARSLAM and the DEFENDERS OF EARTH are doing in the meantime. And yes, ANNA in the apocalypse as well. Other things too. All of it in my brain. I want to do it. I want to see them finished and rolling. 

On the other hand, I also feel a strong urge when I am depressed to do NONE OF THE ABOVE. Just sit on the couch and actually open up the video games, DVDs and books I have acquired recently and just do those things. Maybe Netflix binge on a show I keep saying I will get to, but never have time to. Maybe focus more on my day job that I am spending 50 hours plus a week at. Get better at that. Actually retain things I learn there instead of daydreaming of what I could be doing if I were at home. Or sitting there thinking about why I am angry. (sigh)

The mind is a roller coaster. I fucking hate it. 

Been listening to SLAYER and PANTERA a lot more lately. Drown out the thoughts. Give the anger an outlet. Works sometimes. Its better than listening to something softer, because the fear that I might cry at my desk is very real. 

Some days I am a soldier, beating the things that life tosses at me. I'm a boxer, getting up and going in for another round. Other times I feel like a raw nerve or a frayed, exposed cord. Just don't mess with me. Don't talk to me. Leave it alone. Danger! Better yet, toss me in some water so it finishes itself off.

I go back to the Rocky quote of: “Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard ya hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!”

Depression sucks. We all go through it. We all got shit life is tossing at us. Sometimes I think my load is unbearable and then I hear about someone else's and think: "That would break me." But they are still standing. Its an inspiration like no other to see that shit go down. Sometimes I get a message or email saying I've inspired someone or they know exactly how I feel. That means the world to me. Makes me feel like I can keep pushing through and be okay. Just be okay. That's what I need to do. 

I'm trying, folks. I really am trying. 

I've got this far! 

Thanks for reading and your love, support. Until next we talk, keep your head up. I'll do the same. Keep striving onward and upward. I know I always will too.

--T

PLEASANT LIFE 2 PROGRESS!

Hey friends! Its the Xmas season!

My tree is ready for the cats to destroy and then house the presents for my loved ones!

Meanwhile, I am busy making the comics still! Especially at my PATREON PAGE - Where I am doing some more erotica monthly comics and even offering my Patrons there to suggest a sexy sketch all this month that I will do as a bonus! If that is your thing, come on over and join us! It helps fund the content that I do for FREE!

But work is really ramping up on PLEASANT LIFE 2! Here are some pages I've been sharing via social media:

I have many more that I have finished. And its actually getting a lot of likes and attention via my Instagram... more than my usual postings of cats and nerdy finds and purchases. Check it out:

Usually when I post pics of my cats with the hashtags, I get some likes but never this many! To get this many on my new comic pages for a comic that is not my big ticket "money maker" feels awesome. And I gotta say working on it... it is even better than awesome. Its going better than I expected. I haven't drawn these folks in action in a long time. I didn't know what it would be like. Right now its like being on a bike again. I remember things. I am hitting the beats and angles I want. In my head I am in the scenes, putting the music in and what is being said. Its like the old days again. Drawing these guys is where I am most comfortable, to be honest. I love STARSLAM, the erotica and ANNA, but these guys... they are my first born babies. I missed them. I NEED to get this story done and told. I simply need to. Its been too long. I've neglected them. I'm letting the scenes play out and I am just going with it. Onward!

Anyway, BUSY month for me. I just finished a big card set for KISS and now I am hip deep in Patreon and PLEASANT LIFE stuff. Plus a massive amount of overtime at the day job. No rest for the wicked.  

ADAM GO CRAZY!!!

Anyway, stay safe out there my friends. Things are rolling like snowballs down the hill and I can't wait to dingle my snowballs in all of your faces! 

Later on! 
-T

Upside Down

Hello friends! 

Life this week has been up, then down, then up again. I'm surviving. Did 50 hours at the day job and I spent time at the table too! Good news is I got my monthly commissions inked. Just have to scan/color them. Will post live here on Patreon soon! Also I got all the STARSLAM BONUS 20 PAGE STORY all done! Just gotta scan, clean up and send to my colorist. I was trying to get ahead on the KISS cards as they are due at the end of the month. I did a big chunk at the day job but after penciling around 30 of them, I realized I drew them all upside down!!! There's a KISS logo at the top of the cards and I drew them upside down. Used to the logos on the STAR WARS sets, where the logo is at the bottom. I went on auto pilot and created more work for myself. Great! :)

I am happy to say I am three months ahead on Patreon stories, pencils and inks all done for them. I just need a couple good nights of scanning, coloring and lettering. I'm starting the new year off with a special treat for longtime fans of my stuff. 

Also, I have ramped up production on PLEASANT LIFE 2!!! I got 6 new pages all penciled and I began inks. These will add to the already 40 I had previously done. But I drew a major scene in the book today. The reunion has begun!

 
I decided to deactivate my Facebook account. Its done me no good as far as promoting what I am doing and its a MAJOR distraction with lots of headaches attached. I do miss it but I think I just need to disconnect for a while. 

Let HENRY ROLLINS say it better than I can:

With Facebook now 5 days out of my life, I am reading more. I finished Brian Posehn's FOREVER NERDY and am now reading FRANK ZAPPA's Autobiography. Its a fun read so far.  

In good news I got about 90% of my Xmas shopping done. Tomorrow as I write this, I am getting my boys for the weekend. I plan to cook a nice ham, green beans and mashed potatoes. Just spend a weekend with them relaxing and then artworking when I can. Believe me, I need both. To be productive and to relax. This week was a hell week for many reasons. But I am on the upswing and that ain't gonna change. 

So why not smile a bit? Maybe do a fashion show: 

Life is full of upside down moments. Its up to us to turn it right side up and get on with it. 

Onward. --T

Getting Through

Hello friends!

Im busy. No doubt about it. I shouldnt even be taking time to write this blog but I am. I like to touch base with everyone. Plus the readers are increasing. Ive noticed a definate spike in readership of the blog and downloads of the podcast. Really gets me charged up for the upcoming Patreon thingie I am doing next year. Yeah, next year. Im not going to hit you with a new thing by Christmas! You got too many other things to shop for. So when the time is right, early next year you will see the PATREON.

The Patreon will be the next step forward in my business model. I am releasing lots of exclusive content on it. A whole new blog and podcast, exclusive erotica comics, unfinished business (namely exclusive comics I started but never finished... but now WILL finish via the Patreon... like ANNA POCALYPSE 2, LINGERIE PARTY MASSACRE and more!) Also  you will get exclusive first looks at STARSLAM 3, PLEASANT LIFE 2 and anything else to come. It really is going to be a major happening. I hope you will consider coming along for the ride.

For those who dont want to be a part of things on the Patreon, dont worry... blogs and podcasts will continue here at idiothead.com.... but not the exclusive stuff on the Patreon. Im talking sketches, NSFW content and way more. I pulled a bunch of reference today for stories I am doing on there. Stuff to finish STARSLAM 3 as well. Its gonna kick ass, man. So much to look forward to in the future!!

But before we get there, I gotta slog through everything I got going now. Including a MASSIVE card set. Im about 1/2 way done with that now. Also a bunch of commissions from the recent Kickstarter for THE EROTIC ZONE book. BTW, lets check the numbers on that: 

HOLY CRAP! THANK YOU!!!!!!!

The majority of those who got the book are NEW readers. Always great to see new people come on board what we are doing here. THANK YOU for ordering! I should get the funds this weekend or early next week and the books will be ordered from the printer. Meanwhile I am doing up the commissions, getting mailers, etc. So much to do to make sure they go out on time!

All of this, and I started the OVERTIME at the day job this week! My dayjob is that I am an output graphic artist at a major printing company here in town. And the months of November to March are typically the busiest time of the year. I usually have constant overtime during this period. Great for paychecks, but I virtually have no free time. Its okay in a way, because in Michigan, those are the snow months. Im going nowhere. And I got a lot to save up for next year. First of all I need a new vehicle. The transmission is going out on my Bat Blazer and so I limit the driving on it when I can. I also will be moving into a new apartment next year so I need funds for security deposit and moving expenses. Plus some new furniture for the place. Ill FINALLY be able to give my boys their own room/my office! Also Id like to plan some sort of trip for me and the misses. So much to plan for.

So anyway, the added overtime will help with all that but will limit my free time considerably. Its going to be a juggle. But hey, thats the gig, right? Ill get through!

I'm trying to be a better person. I'm trying to make healthier choices and get plenty of sleep when I can. I'm cutting down on my drinking... which has gotten a bit out of hand sometimes. Im trying to do something everyday to push me closer to my personal and professional goals, while also taking the time to stop and smell the roses a bit. I'm getting through.

There is so much bullshit going on today. You turn on the news its all Trumpism, whataboutism and other such nonsense. Then you hear that some of your pop culture heroes are indeed deeply troubled, sick motherfuckers. Its easy to feel despair when this stuff happens. You have just enough energy and focus to get your coffee, get to work and get home. You dodge all the arrows of craziness that fly at you constantly. You yield to the stress busses that cut you off on your way. But its okay, folks. You get through.We will get through!! Keep on the path of resistance and move forward!!

Nothing will make me happier than to emerge into early 2018 with my artworking caught up, next book almost ready to be released, Patreon launched, newer and safer vehicle, great holiday memories, weight loss is working, the news doesn't bother me and a smile rests upon my face. We GOT through!!!

Heres to those days that are to come!

~~T

Arrested Development

Hey friends!

(Please excuse my typing. Parts of my MAC keyboard are kaput! The dashes, apostrophe, quotation marks and a few other keys do not work!)

Been a busy week. This weekend will be as well since I have the kids the whole time, but I am looking forward to playing my new MR BUCKET with them. Plus this:

Scored one at Walmart around midnight last night. They had 30 units and I was 24th in line. Lucky!! I plugged it in and played it last night. Brought back some memories! I cant wait to play some games with James this weekend and then dig into some RPGs next week!

I decided to get the SNES system as a bit of a reward for my hard work. Been busy actually artworking! So far Ive done this: 

Surprise!

And I daresay Ive kept up well with the social media stuff and podcasts. Episode #500 is coming up quick! I wrote out some new stuff for Pleasant Life 2 scenes I want to add and pulled more research for Starslam 3. I am still putting the finishing touches on The Erotic Zone. My keyboard pooping out on me has eliminated some of my short key commands I use with my Wacom tablet for when I color, so it has slowed me down a bit. But Ive been getting up early every morning to keep a routine as it were. Im getting back into the swing of things. Feels good, really. I plan to get some penciling done this weekend when the kids are here.... if they let me! Plus next week my GF will be house sitting all week so I will have no excuse to get my ass up early and get to work on stuff!

....Wish me luck!

Yesterday I celebrated this: 

STAR TREK TNG premiered 30 years ago yesterday! I remember watching TV that night with my mom and my brother. Ill never forget a Trek memory!

But I also managed to check out the first couple episodes of (gulp) STAR TREK: DISCOVERY. (sigh) To hear my full thoughts about the show so far, check out the latest episode of my Morning Show Podcast. Download via Itunes or stream right HERE ~~~~~ Suffice to say, it needs to grow on me... if it can. Sucks to know that 30 years ago, this awesome Trek show premiered and Trek has gone downhill ever since it went off the air in 1994. But then in 94, I was also playing a SNES. I am fully a kid, stuck in that year. Grunge music was in my ears and still is.... Yeah, Im never growing up! Im fine with that.

Those were the fun times. Adulting sucks. House worries, bills, day job, bad knee, worry this/worry that, people are arseholes...

Fuck it. Im gonna plug in some Zelda: A Link to the Past, while jamming on some Nirvana and then watch some good ol TNG with a big bowl of cereal. Then maybe draw on some of my funny book shit. That is what I was doing that year, and still continue to do today. Im truly in arrested development.

And Im fine with that.

~~~T

If the Right (FOOT) Don't Get You.... PLUS: A Timeline to Come!

Hey friends!

Remember that tomorrow is the final day to put in your commission order and then my list closes again. I don't see it opening back up until probably next year sometime. I am just way too busy and limited in my working time allotted, health-wise. So this is your best chance. Already got some sweet takers on some things. I got a couple done and digitally sent already. One BIG one to do: An 18x24 custom made job, but one that will be really cool to do. Then a couple more. But there is room for more. Tomorrow is the LAST DAY to get one in before I close the list. Anything after Saturday will be turned away. I say this with peace and love, peace and loooovvve!

I swear man, if it ain't one thing its another. I've had a couple weeks of hell. From personal woes to financial woes, then to dreams broken, to fighting a head cold for almost two weeks... and now this:

I had to call off work yesterday due to this severe pain in my foot. I didn't want to. It took my last vacation day away. Plus its close to a holiday weekend and I am needed. But I literally couldn't walk at all yesterday. I started off the day before. I just had a pain in my foot and I was limping around. No idea what it was or how it happened. Felt like a strain of some sort. But I did my duty and went to work and limped through it. No big deal. Cut to yesterday morning. I am woken up by the severe pain in my foot. I tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom and holy shit... I'm practically crying through the pain. I couldn't stand up! My girlfriend had to almost carry me into the bathroom. It felt like a severe charlie horse in my upper foot. I wrapped it in ice packs and downed Advil all day. I stayed off it and just laid in bed, praying that I would be better by Friday, because of several factors. 

This morning, it is better. I am able to scoot it around on the floor. I can shift my weight to and fro on it. But driving? Long repeated walking through the factory to my office where I work? Not likely. But I can get by. I'm going to keep ice on it all morning and down pills as I can before work and hopefully get through the day. Then Saturday I got my kids. No idea how I will be able to drive and get them, but I will find a way.

Dammit, its always SOMETHING, isn't it?

Oh well. Its not all doom and gloom. This week I've been able to color a lot on newer pages for this side project I am trying to get done. And I finished three more pages on it for a mini story for it. Just a few more things, maybe 10 pages of work on it and then I gotta assemble it all together. The plan is to get the Kickstarter for it up and running by sometime in July/August. Its a collection of erotica stories, pinups and written stories. Stuff I have had around for years and have never released. Stuff I planned for the ill fated Patreon page that I know I can now never get to. And other stuff I have done and has no home. But for those that like my unique humor and drawing of naughty bits, this will be a fun book.

After that, its full speed ahead on Starslam 3 and this:

WISE INTELLIGENCE was a comic I illustrated for Ryan McLelland back in the mid-2000s. We did three issues and a couple side stories together on it. He also did a few other stories with other artists. I suggested that he collect everything together in one big anthology book. So we have been scouring old discs and files and things we'd need to scan to make a complete collection. It will have many pages of art by me and other artists like Dave Lafuente (SPIDERMAN) and Terry Moore (SIP, RACHEL RISING). I might do a new pinup or cover for it, but we'll see on that. Most of my work this time will be assembling it into one cohesive collection and then Ryan will run the Kickstarter for it. But for those that are Adam completionists, you'll want to jump in on that! But more on this book later. I just wanted to let you know what is up with it.

Now, STARSLAM 3 will be Kickstarted before the end of the year. Likely in October/November if all goes well. I am really trying to take my time with this thing and work around the carpal tunnel stuff and deliver the best book I can do to send these characters out to pasture in this final part of the trilogy.

And lastly, looking at 2018:

I will be working to finish PLEASANT LIFE 2 for a summer release. And I got one final comic related project after that to finish it all up. A final, "CAPTAIN'S LOG" book to collect the last few years of pinups, uncompleted projects and one special comic idea that will wrap up the "Adam-verse" in a nice, fun way. I don't want to spoil the surprise but I know it will be fun to do. And a PERFECT way to end my comics' career.

... and then FINALLY on to the novels I've been talking about forever! My porn store tell all book should come out early 2018. End of 2018 will see my short story/poem anthology thingie. And then in 2019, will be my first full fiction novel that I have been working off and on with. The title and premise, I'll save for then. Also in 2019, I decided I will do a final run of 3-4 comic cons one last time to say "goodbye." 2019 will be the 25th anniversary of me doing comics, so it seems like the perfect time do it. A celebration and a goodbye before I hang up the microns, bristol board and wacom pens for good.

WHEW! So yeah... barring any more goddamn health issues, that is my timeline for things to come. Home stretch, folks. Mountains to climb. Things I've promised for years to you and to myself are finally in view on the horizon. We're going to get this done!

... and then figure out what the fuck to do with the rest of my life! HEH. But hopefully, less painful than it has been lately!

Cheers, T

Same Ol Same Ol

Here I am. No worries. Well, some were worried. I got messages from folks who were worried because its not like me to not post a blog twice weekly. I think its been about two weeks since the last one. Even longer for a podcast.

Truth is there's a few things going on and ways to explain my absence:

 #1 My major "production at home" days were Sundays. Now I am down to two of those because I keep my kids Sat-Monday morning twice a month so that knocks two of them out. The other two are usually reserved for some business that I don't have time to do during the week. So I get two nights free a month really. It kind of sucks but so it goes. At least I get to see my boys more. But that means that any time at home to do stuff like that usually takes a back seat. And my two Saturdays free a month involve time with D that we don't get during the week or with friends.... or severely drinking til passing out.

#2 Thing going on is that I am back into a major depression swing. I had to leave my therapist for several reasons and I am seeking a new one. I thought I was through some shit but apparently there's plenty more that has bubbled to the surface to help destroy what sanity I've tried to claim for myself. So I have wrote, but its been in private.... and you don't want to read what I wrote. Here on the blog and social media, I try to stay somewhat upbeat and positive. I'm supposed to be entertaining you folks. All my other writings shows a person in constant fear of rejection, inadequacy and emptiness. Its full of fear at every perceived failure and an endless need for acceptance and meaning. Its not fun to read. But it helps on some level. It gets it out of my brain. But it is easy to spiral down into the hole I've created for myself and just get the stone face.

I've really always been this way. Ever since I was a kid. It is hard to find someone who can deal with me when I'm like this and not take it personally. Thank the lords for Kitty D, who totally understands and helps me cope with myself when I am like this. We have a nice special mixture and can take on the drama when it heads our way. I got some doozies I'm dealing with right now. But she's there and helping me where she can. That is a good feeling.

You always try to dwell in the good feelings.

On the production front, you'll be surprised to know that I have been very productive on comics and things. I penciled ten more pages last week and things are rolling right along. I got a big new batch of pages to send to my colorist and I am coloring my own pages for my other projects too. Perhaps I owe you an update:

STARSLAM 3 - I got 45 pages in the can, complete. Another 22 are ready to be scanned and colored. We're getting into the major points of the storyline. So far there are about 6 major sex scenes... and thats SO FAR. So there is lots of nudity and sex this time around. I'm going all out for this last book!

PATREON R.I.P. - What does that mean? Well, I've done a lot of thinking about it, while still working on pages and things for it, but I decided that I cannot do a patreon. I just cannot guarantee my output with the depression issues and the carpal tunnel now limiting my drawing and writing. Its frustrating but I have to be honest with myself. I'm on a time limit with what I can do and how fast I can do it now.

BUT----- I still got these stories, pinups, written sex stories and things Ive sat on for years now. I decided that I will finish them and collect them in a new tradebook to be launched on Kickstarter. Probably before STARSLAM 3 comes out. Maybe end of summer-ish. I have a title and a premise. Its basically a sex anthology. For those that love my stuff, you'll love it! It will be around 120 pages or so and I cannot wait for you guys to see it. It collects everything erotica that I've done beyond STARSLAM. So that is exciting, right? Look for that soon.

PLEASANT LIFE 2 - I'm still working on it sporatically. I'm trying to decide how I want to get it out into the world. Eventually I'll probably try a Kickstarter to grab new fans for the series... but I do expect the numbers to be less considering it has no titties in it. But expect that next year.

WISE INTELLIGENCE - Remember this? This was a 4 issue mini series that writer Ryan McLelland and I did almost a decade ago. Terry Moore (SIP) did a cover for it even! We decided to get EVERYTHING together for this project and release it via kickstarter. I'm likely going to let him handle that, as I have enough on my plate right now. But I will be putting the book together for him and doing new stuff for it most likely. Will be nice to put a button on that book and have a nice collected trade of those comics that very few have seen! More on this later.

NOVELS -- Right now I got two novels (the short story/poem anthology and the tell all of my porn store days) in production. They've taken a back seat to the comics. I think once those are out my way, I'll get these done. Hopefully by Xmas or early next year. Because I have my first original novel (fiction) that I am itching to work on after that. Its something I've been half working on and writing dialog on for a few years now. Its a great idea and I would love to get it done... but all this other stuff has to get out of the way first. But consider this a tease.

So there ya go. Stuff is happening, despite my depression. I'm alive. Sometimes I'm angry about it, but I am alive. I know, that sounds dark. But I'm just being honest. I am determined to grow out of the depression that happens and continue my work. I'm determined to face everything the universe throws at me. Cause I'm not afraid to face it. I'll certainly bitch about it, but I will face it all. Sometimes, you just have to climb the mountain yourself just to show people that it can be done. I know I inspire others by what I'm doing and I am not going to let them down. I'm not doing all of this for me, I'm doing it for you. I hope you know that.

Anyway, here are some pics of things beyond all this depressing shit. KITTIES!!!!!!!!

Cuteness overload.

Sebastian. We picked the right one I think.

We will miss this Grey goober when she goes to her new home though.

Mommy is still protective.

Scott Bot lounges around.

What do a bunch of thirty something guys do when they get away from the girls for a night? Do they hit the strip club and the hooters? Nope. They have a NINTENDO PARTY! A bunch of my co-workers got together a couple weeks ago on my only night off and did this gathering where we played through Ninja Gaiden 2, Punch Out, Excitebike, Kung Fu and many other games. It was a lot of fun and we're already planning NES championship night 2. 

Lastly, a note a screenshot reminding me that there are some out there who care: 

I thank everyone for their messages and care. I'll be okay, no worries. I'm gonna work with this new therapist and get to a good place with the shit plaguing me. But rest assured... THE WORK WILL CONTINUE!

Cheers, T

To Sum It All Up...

Big blog today, friends. Bare with me.

For those that have followed me over the years and have read my blogs, this will come as no surprise. I thrive in being vulnerable and open. Its just the way I am. Enjoy the ride...

Lets sum it up: Since last year's summer, Ive been in hardcore struggle mode. I rode the high that was Starslam 2's success and enjoyed getting it out to everyone. I announced a third volume, Pleasant Life 2 and then two written novels. I was on a complete high of productivity.

Then I hit the wall. Hard.

Lots of things in my personal life happened. First was the disaster that was Motor City Con. I barely scraped by. I had a few things happen there that really dampened my spirits. Stuff I won't go into, but it certainly took its toll. My son was abused by a babysitter. A good friend died suddenly. I took this long journey of trying to find a comfortable place to process these things. And in that journey, I just couldn't keep it together. The promises I made publicly and to myself went broken. I gained 60 pounds. I sank into a deep deep depression. I barely stayed financially afloat. I cancelled trips I wanted to take. I cancelled appearances. I backed out of all my normal shows. I'd get a streak where I'd pencil a few pages and Id think, "Awesome! I'm coming back!" To then get a long streak of nothing. I'd still take on commissions, but they'd take me a while. Instead of laughing when I drank, I found plenty of reasons to cry. Alone and in front of friends.

I felt out of it. Out of touch and out of time.

Lily here illustrates exactly how I've been feeling. Just looking out the window, stuck in place.

 

 

 

I felt like I had missed a train. That it was too late for my dreams. I've become a has been to never was. And I hated myself for allowing my life to drift into it. I became angry and hurtful to myself. And all the while those above things were going on, I got back to a place where I didn't care anymore. Nothing brought me joy. Especially even the one thing Ive always had: art. I hated having a pencil in my hand. I unfollowed every artist I knew because I didn't want to see their progress I wasn't having. And after all, bad things happen to good people. Like my son, and my friend dying. My anger grew and my distaste remained constant. And I knew I had to change and get better, but I didn't feel like I was worth that change. That no one gave a shit anymore. Or maybe, even I didn't.

--Inspirational quote from Kate Winslet. It applies to everything.

I wasn't suicidal, but more like I just didn't care if I woke up. My girlfriend caught me having my weekly crying fit. I couldn't worry her anymore. I had to do something. So I began therapy.

Here it is almost two months later. I'm better man. I mean it. I'm choosing better meals. I'm more mentally active. Ive come to terms with the events in my life that I cannot change or control. I've made peace with myself and what has happened. I've learned to celebrate what I do have, instead of mourn what I don't or what has been lost.

That doesn't mean my struggles are over. In fact, its just beginning. I gotta continue this weight loss journey and continuing to get back to where I belong. Some financial hits are looking me right in the face. I'm scared of them. I'm moments from it all crashing down. My instinct kicks in.... survive! Kill it all! Live! Beat this thing! Avoid the toxic situations and people! And I'm doing that. But I have to take on all that I face and beat them. Bury them.

And you know what? I will. And most importantly: ON MY OWN TERMS.

This week I picked up the pencil again. I felt ready to. I was gifted with five pages of Starslam 3 (pencils and inks), four pages on Pleasant Life 2, four pages on another unspoken thing and a bunch of writing. Plus merchandise ideas and game plan for future streamlining/revamping of what I currently do.

Pleasant Life 2 pencils continue.

A stack of finished Starslam 3 pages. Cannot share most of them, they are NSFW. There's A LOT of sex in this new one!

I'll tell you truly: I've never felt more awake and alive in the last year than like I do now.

I feel like I got a goal and a deadline. And I can do deadlines! I know what my plan is and what I have to do now. The thinking about it is over. The over-examining and explaining is over. I woke up on the other side of this bullshit and asked myself, "what am I?"

Answer: I'm an artist. I'm a writer. I also play music and paint. I create. And I know how to evolve my business model and make my dreams work. I know what I have to do.

So I pulled out of all shows for the remainder of the year so I can work on it all. I'm busy working on my audition to reapply for my dream job. And I know it is not too late. I hope you will bare with me as I get this resume re-edited and resubmitted to you, my bosses. Because I'm going to show you I know the job and that I will earn it.

Only thing that can stop me is me. And Ive now learned how to step out of my own way.

Thank you for sticking with me through all of this.

....lets get to work!

--T

Shake it Off!

Hello friends!

Last week sucked. No other words can fit the bill. It just sucked. So much turmoil in the day to day and all over the world. It seems like everything is unraveling and everything is unfair.

First of all everything going on with our new president (I won't go there... but suffice to say I'm not too happy), then some disappointment with things involving my son and the person who hurt him... basically she will get away with it. After months and months of investigating and a partial confession and a long night of photos taken/deep exams at the hospital, nothing will happen. He seems fine but I am not. I will never forget it. Then just working a shit ton of overtime, asshole drama, some long discussions about a future that is impossible for me to achieve yet. I've just had to wake up to some realities.

The reality is that the dream life I want, the dream person I want to be, I cannot have... yet.

My goals are still there but the chance to achieve them are still in its infancy. As I try to wrestle down the feelings and hurt I have about it, I keep struggling to be on the righteous path and do the right thing. The smart thing. I do this while battling my own personal demons, and the fight isn't strategically set for the best outcome, despite the odds. We all got shit sandwiches on our plate and we're all struggling to gulp it down as though it were the best hash you've ever been served.

So last night, after a long week of struggle and a weekend filled with stress and anguish, talking about all the shit that brings me down, I wanted to drink. And I did. I got some booze and I inhaled it. The buzz came on. But before that, I had to crank out some pencils on a couple commissions. And while I was drinking and listening to some Carol King, I couldn't keep the micron pens out of my hand. So I did a little inking... which turned into more inking... which then turned into ALL the inking I had on my desk. I ended up inking four of the commissions and five of the newest Pleasant Life 2 pages I had pencilled two months ago. By the time the smoke cleared I was sobered up and driven to get work done.

This morning I woke up at 8:20. Only about five hours of sleep. But I found myself driven to get back up and get things done. I finished the last page of the Zombie horror book and scanned it in for the process. Then I scanned all that I had inked the night before. I scanned my tax stuff and sent it to my CPA best friend. All while I did this I was converting a shit ton of old .avi files to Mp4 for future DVD burnings. Just putting out the little fires of small projects I've had on my plate for the last five years or so. I also cleaned out my phone and put new shit on it. New exercise music mixes for my treadmill that will arrive this week.

Some days I wake up and I wish I hadn't woke up at all. Other times I wake up early, so driven to make the day my bitch. Today was one of those days and it was one I needed. Time and life have been dragging us all down. I was talking with a friend yesterday who was saying the same thing and the personal crap that is going on in his life. We're all feeling it. We're all trying to shake it off and gulp down the shit sandwich.

But hey, we're still here. Still standing. Still us.

We get to get up and take another shot at earning our goals and beating our demons. We get to get up and create and make art and spread love. We're trying. And no evil can break that down.

Today was a day I needed. Tomorrow might be another story. But for now, I am ok.

And maybe that's enough.

_____________________________

Okay, some PLUGS!

These guys reviewed my book: PLEASANT LIFE: THE COMPLETE COLLECTION! Check out their review HERE Thanks guys!

The IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW Podcast continues to thrive! New episode uploaded last night! Check out the RSS stream right HERE

My new VLOG channel is LIVE! Check it out right HERE

Interested in Pleasant Life or any of my other books? My online store is still around! Each book comes with a head sketch, autograph and a little tiny treat inside! Online store for ordering is HERE

Thanks for your continued reading and support!

--T

Thinking of the New Year

Hello friends.

I spent yesterday editing one of the new VLOGS that will be uploaded in the future. I'm trying hard to bank as much new material as I can so I can go full steam ahead on actual comic work. I got about two pages to finish pencils and inks on, plus a cover before I go into post-production on the first comic I will be releasing this year. Its the Horror Anthology/Caleb tribute comic that will likely get launched on Kickstarter and then released officially at HorrorHound Cincinnati.  Proceeds after the costs are covered are donated to the Arlee Rodgers Surgery Fund and the Caleb Stevens Memorial Fund. More on this soon...

After that, its all concentrated on two projects: Short story anthology novel (my first novel) and STARSLAM 3. I'll smatter a few other things in the middle of that, but that is the main push. I would like to have it ready by July for my first ever appearance at an erotica convention. Here's hoping.

Sometime soon, my old pal Ryan and I will finally be releasing the WISE INTELLIGENCE Graphic Novel! This is something I did the art on about 8-10 years ago and only the first issue was released. Well he is busy unearthing it and then we will be getting it out to the public. Then, its all concentrated on three projects: Anna Pocalypse 2, Pleasant Life 2 and the Porn Store tell all novel. After that, the slate is clear.

I am hoping to have all of these things done by December 31st 2017. It will be a lot of work but I think its time to clear the road ahead of me. I also know it will be a constant fight but its something that must be done.

In addition to this news, I can announce there are no plans to attend any sort of comic convention this year. I just don't think it fits into my business model anymore. I MIGHT do a sort of "victory run" in 2018, but I am not sure. Let me get through this year first! So this year is all about PRODUCTION, rather than promotion. I'm keeping everything in house right now so all of the above succeeds or fails on my merits. I got a time limit on these things and it all must be done by a certain time. I will strive to make it all happen. Deadlines, I can do.

Looking back on 2016, it was a hard one. I don't want to reiterate all the shit that went down but I'm looking ahead to what is to come and especially what is now. And for as much crap that happened last year, I still did some good things. I finished a graphic novel and it became the biggest preordered book I've ever done. I harvested good relationships all year and redefined some older toxic ones. After a few of the very bad events, I did a lot of soul searching and refining. I did a lot of coping and learning. I came out the other end with survivor's guilt but I am feeling the message: You got time to get it all done. Make the best of it.

I think about to people I lost last year (famous and not) and I've come to this conclusion: These people were themselves. Unapologeticaly. They didn't hide who they were, what they wanted, how they felt, etc. That is a great way to live. I realized that we are limited and fragile. We should honor and appreciate all that we are given, our lives and those who are around you.

So I am spending this year to refine myself. To clear my slate of everything I've wanted to do. After that, who knows. All I know is right now. All I NEED is right now. And right now I want to finish what I started and take care of things I've been meaning to do. To drive the dream home. The final push.

Let's just get it done.

-T

How I Spent My New Years

Hello friends!

Well, we've made it. We're on the other side to good ol' 2017. Where it will be all safe,no good celebrity deaths and filled with cotton candy kisses, chocolate rainbows and fluffy kittens, right? Lets hope so!

For me, I didn't have that eventful of a New Years' Eve. We had planned to go out but I ended up having to get the kids early the next day, so I just stayed at home and drank...

Jager and always a chaser. Nice!

The week before I did a nice round of overtime, but I did find some time to do some post Xmas shopping with my lottery wins....

I'll tell you, I'm not a fan of these POP figures but I saw this and I had to have it. People are saying its my gateway drug but I swear this probably will be my only one...... probably.

I got a nice stack of CDs from Replay and FBC in Lansing. Most of these I already own digitally, but I want a physical copy for my new shelf...

I used to have a shelf like this but I parted ways with it when I got rid of my CDs a few years ago. Since then I have grabbed new CDs/music DVDs here and there and haven't had a place to put them... until NOW! But man there's a lot of room for more. I guess I am going to have to go out and grab some more essentials!

My girl enjoying her Xmas present of a Sega Genesis! We also did some Wii Bowling and Harry Potter Lego.

Now that we've crossed the great barrier into the safe zone (being facetious there), its time to get into some new habits. I have started to eat and live healthier. Its going to be a very slow process and no hardcore crash diets type of thing. Its little changes, gradual changes and keeping things rolling. I'm also doing a lot of meditating and reading, as well as other things. I'm taking care of me. That's the important thing.

I am also busy on actual artworking! I'm working hard to get this horror comic/Caleb tribute book out the door. Only about 3-4 pages left to do for it plus a cover. I've given myself until end of this month to finish it but truthfully, I could have it done in a week if I wanted to. Expect a Kickstarter or something for it soon! After this book is done, its full speed ahead on Starslam 3. I did some new Pleasant Life 2 pages last week as well and who knows what else is lurking and not being talked about as much!

I also took some time this week to do some filming for the new VLOG channel! We went a few places and I shot stuff and shot lots of stuff at home to add to what I already got in the can. I got enough material now for about 4-5 Vlogs to start out with. I will launch Vlog #1 this month after I get some small shots done that I need for it. I really am enjoying the creativity of the project. Its part documentary, part home movies, part walkthrough, part comedy... I got this overall arch that I want to do over the course of this year and have planned out "episodes" of it already to wrap around things that are going to come up.

One of my main goals this year is to gather a rhythm for getting things done. I know there are obligations like family and day job that will derail some of this sometimes, but for the most part I am committed to just getting my shit done. And I am not compromising my time or attention to do it. If I have to wall myself up and give out a lot of "No's" to make it happen, so be it. I feel bad but I got commitments to answer to. Mainly to you fine folks! A promise is a promise, so let's get it done!

Anyway, enough treading water. Time to get on it! I hope you had a safe and happy new year. Let's go grab 2017 by the nuts and make it our bitch!

Cheers, T