Hey friends. I got a quick Friday blog for you all. I try not to post too much here but I like to keep content flowing, but mostly if I have something to say that is worthy for you to come here and read. Today, I do.
This week, my day job honored my friend Caleb (
Remember Him Here ) by planting a tree in our yard at work with a plaque baring his name and dates. We were all excused to go out there to pay tribute to him and memories of him. His wife, kids, brothers and sisters and mom and dad were there. After the reading of a poem, my boss said a few words and then opened it up to all of us to swap funny stories. Of course there were tears but also plenty of laughs. It was a great moment.
I absolutely love that my day job did this for him. There are a couple other trees in the area that are similar tributes to fallen friends before my time. I've seen other places of employment have tribute to employees who passed on as well. The local best buy has a glass case with a person's uniform and pics of him in it. The local Walmart has a plaque on the wall bearing a guy's face and dates. Its great to be at a place who actually CARES about their employees and honors them in such a way. It makes me feel very valued at a place where I work... perhaps for the first time ever in my life. And if you scroll through the last 10 years of blogs here at my site, I've had a ton of different jobs!
I feel happy now that I got a place to go at the day job where everyday I am reminded of him. I have some things in our office that are for him. Like at my desk I got a pic of us together. And when I arrive there, I have to sit at his old desk for a couple of hours. For weeks, I didn't want to. I wouldn't even go near there. But this week it was unavoidable. But once I did, I felt better about it. We still got a couple small things that were his at the desk.
Now, I'm just grateful that I have a place to go when I walk outside to reflect on things. I haven't made it out to his grave site in Owosso. I just cannot do that yet. The tributes will keep coming. I already plan to get my first tattoo in March at Horrorhound Cincinnatti and it will be a tribute piece I am doing for him.
I was talking with his daughter and I told her and his wife about my tribute horror comic idea. I have to start on it soon. I've already pulled the reference for it and it has to be done early 2017. But I just haven't started it. Soon I will have to. But I want it to be my best. A lot rides on it for me. The book will be sold at the conventions his friend and wife go to. The money will be split between Caleb's family and Joe's family for their kids' needs. I won't see a dime from it and that is what I prefer. I just want them taken care of the best I can do with that I was given on this planet to do. If nothing else comes from my years of doing comics, me using this stuff I've learned to make something to help someone else makes it all worthwhile to me.
Anyway, I guess it goes to show that the work never stops. I keep thinking: Ok, get through this day and we can move forward. Get through this event and then we can move forward. But the events, tributes and works keep flooding in. Sometimes its tough to keep reopening old wounds. But I think sometimes in doing that, you can gain strength from the pain and turn it into something different. Like there's a part when you lose a musician, say... and you hear their songs for the first time after they are gone. And you are saddened that they are gone and this is all you have now. But after a while, you begin to celebrate what you have of them. The song starts to become "yours" and you use it to celebrate and be joyful that you even have this part of their art or their life. You use it to define you. So it shall be with Caleb and all that is still to come. The work, never ends.
I've had a few losses in my life. And every day I think about those people. Every day. This month alone marks my mother being gone 16 years. Its been a long road, this life. But every day I am thankful when I wake up. I made it another day. I get to honor my fallen loved ones again. I get to carry their spirit again, one more day.
I'm honored to do so... all the days of the rest of my life. They live on. And so shall I.
This tree will live longer than I will. The winds will not
take it down. Its roots will grow deep and always remain. Nature thrives
where we cannot. But nature will remember and it will live on. Never forgotten, never saddened...
...but it shall remain. It shall stand.
--T
