You Never Know...

Today is July 30th.

On this exact day last year, I drove to St. Johns to help my friend Caleb and his family pack up their house and load it into a moving truck. They just bought a dream home in town and were so looking forward to the move and the life change. I finally carved out a day to help him. Danielle and I drove out and started loading things onto the truck. Honestly, I wasn't much help on the heavy stuff due to my severe obesity. But I packed plenty of boxes and loaded as much as I could in the time we had. Danielle helped Caleb empty out his upstairs closet that was full of posters, nerdy movie stuff and a very heavy set of furniture. We did all of this for a few hours, stopping for breaks in-between. At one point Caleb and I took in some drinks and a smoke by the truck. We talked about future horror show plans, the drive inn trip to Indiana we already bought tickets for, work, our co-workers, etc. he kept thanking me repeatedly for us coming out to help them move. I kept apologizing that we couldn't help more. At one point he gave me a hug... something I don't do with many people. I got a space thing. After we did our duty, we got into our car and drove home. I waved to Caleb and his family as we pulled out of the driveway. His big bright smile was shining back at us through the exhaustion and sweat of that hot day. We pulled onto the road, I waved one last time and we drove home. Had I known it was the last time I would ever see him, I would have burned it more into my memory.

Because one week later, Caleb was gone.

Its hard to imagine that it has been a year since all this happened. It feels like yesterday. Sometimes it feels like it was all a dream and he is just on vacation from work. And Monday morning I'm going to walk into our office and see his smile again. Sometimes its like he never left. Like he's just off at the bathroom or at one of the presses for a few minutes and he'll be right back. Every day he gets brought up. We re-tell the same stories and the laughs get bigger and bigger. He lives. He lives.

Ive been privileged to work with some great people in various jobs in my life. Most of whom have become life long friends. When I started at my day job two years ago, I was in a different place in my life. I was going through so much transition. All I wanted was a new home, fresh start and a sense of purpose and pride in a day job again. And I found all of that in this place. Immediately this guy  in the cubicle over from mine named Caleb invited me to his Halloween party. Then he invited me to horror shows with his wife and friends. The door was opened wide for me to belong... it felt so good to be respected, useful in a job and treated like an equal again. Seems to be rare in a job anymore. I made friends with all my co-workers. And when Caleb was gone, we all felt it. He wasn't just a co-worker. He was family. Just a unique soul who we were all honored to have known. Many people I work with had worked with him for well over a decade before I came along. I only knew the man 11 months. And I know how I feel about him and what happened. In that case, I cannot imagine how they feel. They have many more years of memories and stories about him. They tell them to me and I just picture all of it happening as if I was there.

When you work somewhere, and its a good job, you all become like soldiers fighting the good fight.. to get the job done. If you're lucky, you can make a friend or two. And in those rare instances, you can become like family. We all got close after Caleb was gone. We all hang out when we can. We bullshit about movies and video games. Some there are suffering their own losses and health issues and we all reach out and care for each other. And we know if Caleb were still here he'd be doing the same thing. We want to be as good a person as he was to us.

Bad things happen. And it sucks when it does. Sucks.... With a capital SUCKS. But we cannot let the tragedy define who they were and how we feel about it. It cannot be their story. Instead we are thankful for what memories we do have of them. And also, how we can better ourselves by thinking about them and how we can reflect who they were and HOW they were in our own lives. That is how you keep them alive.

My co-worker reached out to me last night via text and said this: "He is with us and know that I am here for you." It means a lot to me to be in a place with such great people. And to know that a good man who had a good heart reflected on so many strangers, that they became friends and family. He lives. He lives.

This week: I'm taking his wife to go see Roger Waters of Pink Floyd. One of the last things I saw Caleb doing graphic design on at work was a French Pink Floyd release. He changed his desktop to be a Pink Floyd picture. He jammed on rare Floyd tracks and we talked all about my love of the band that week. I'll be thinking of that this week when we go. I'm going with two of my co-workers who have become my friends. I am going with my girlfriend, who helped me through the pain of losing him. And of course, his loving wife. Showing her a good time on this difficult week.

We rage on. The music plays on. He lives on!

The thoughts I leave you with are this: You never know what tomorrow will bring. So take the pictures. Make with the hugs. Tell those around you how much you do care. Because in a flash, it could be gone.

We live on and take our loved ones with us. It is our honor to have known them and it is our honor to carry them with us... until we meet again.

You never know...

--T

Always going to miss my friend and I think about him everyday. Until we meet again...

Starslam 3 Pages and Random Updates/Thoughts/Schemes

Hey friends! A blog of pure randomness, plus new STARSLAM 3 pages for you to see! First, here is the kitten we decided to keep. I have named him "Sebastian." Fear him, for he rules the night!

I'll tell you, having a batch of kittens around is a joy but also a pain in the ass sometimes. Mommy cat keeps howling while we are sleeping and her kittens are starting to wander around. Empty nest syndrome or something? I have no idea. Another few weeks and the other two cats will go to new homes. I'm sure I'll miss them, but I also like the idea of things returning to a bit of normal around here.

I've been watching the new MST3K on Netflix. So far, its pretty good. Nothing will ever compare to the original Joel episodes for me, but that is okay. There's enough there to keep me interested and they do callbacks to the old shows quite a lot. I'm about halfway through the episodes now. After that, I'm gonna try to tackle Better Call Saul. Speaking of which, Kitty D is hip deep into some Breaking Bad now herself. We watched a bunch of episodes last night after work. So good!

Caleb's tree at work is in full bloom for the spring! Check it out:

CALEB LIVES!

This Carpal Tunnel thing is a distraction to be sure, but I am dealing with it. I'm doing daily exercises and at work I wear a brace for pressure points. My colorist Andy graciously sent me some ice spray to try out. I need to get a hand brace to wear at night when I sleep. Life adjusts. I'm determined to not let this thing slow me down. I got writing and drawing to do. And I'll go down with the ship if I have to!

For those who participated in the TALES FROM THE GORE Kickstarter: All the books on my end are mailed out and done. The only ones left to ship are the Olya Stevens related sketched books and the commissions. Its hard to get together with a gal who lives 30 minutes out of town and has a ton of things going on (as do I!). But rest assured we will and all the mailers will go out within the next couple weeks with her books. Thanks for your patience. I'm damn proud of the book.

I got a couple messages asking if I will be back at Summit for Free Comic Book Day. Unfortunately, I will not be doing anything for Free Comic Book Day as I will have my kids that weekend. That is okay, because I don't have anything to sell beyond books as it is. I will try to get an appearance rolling next year. But if you are in the Lansing area, check out Summit Comics in downtown anyway as they will have a great guest lineup, prizes and hey, FREE COMICS! Great for the kids and their reading, ya dig?

While I'm talking about comics, I wanted to briefly mention that I am still busy working on Pleasant Life 2 and comics for the Patreon! Right now I got about 60 pages done for Pleasant Life 2 and three new stories done for the Patreon... as well as all the old content I already have created for it. I hope to launch that Patreon sometime soon... this summer! In addition to comics, it will have a new BLOG there as well as an exclusive PODCAST. You only get this content if you are a paying subscriber. Trust me, I think the content will be well worth it for you to dig into. Tons of erotica and a bold new step into that direction, full on. For now, that's enough teasing....

Okay, by the blog's title I promised you some new STARSLAM 3 pages and so here they are! Obviously I cannot show you any pages with T&A as this blog is visually PG-13 for the most part. But rest assured there are PLENTY of naughty pages done so far for the book. As for our progress we got 48 pages completely done and in the can. There are 16 more floating around in various stages of pencils and inks. Wednesdays are my main drawing days on the book and so I hope to push a new batch out tomorrow. But for now, here are these new ones for your viewing pleasure:

Candid photographs!

Doc Nelson and Bear Girl have a special journey of their own in the new book!

Um, we're gonna need a bigger boat!

Updating the team's image!

I got a plan in my head as to when you will see this book complete. I'll be working all summer on it to get it done. With Starslam 3 and the upcoming Patreon stuff, you'll be seeing a lot of my erotica comics headed your way!

Thanks for reading...

--T

Embrace What You Got

Life hits us pretty fast. We're all tired. We're all stressed. We've got a pile of TO DO, and a mountain of I WANT. But its best to keep in mind the John Lennon quote: "Life is what happens when we are busy making other plans." But hey, keep trying your best. Chase the whimsies and find your happiness.

Over the last few months, I've crawled out of some nice depression and with the help of therapy and self evaluation, I've learned to stop the triggers and put ME first. If people think I am a dick to do that, that is okay. But in the end, I am all I will have when the long trek is over. I have to be able to live with myself and the choices I've made. And so far things are rolling along. Things are truly better. I'm happier now. I can get goofy and take a chance to stop and breathe. And when bad things happen, I can cope with them. Its a good head space I've dug in and cultivated. I've created a nice happy sanctuary of sanity for myself and I am enjoying its existence. Its a thrill to wake up in the morning. Its a joy to create something new or think about what is to come. Beats not caring, like I felt a few months ago!

Depression sucks. No doubt about it. But it can be controlled.

You have to face your anger and your fears and put them into perspective. I'll give you one example.

One of the things that really added to my depression last year was the death of my friend Caleb. I've talked about it many times on this blog, as you know. And I've tried my best to turn that all around. I made a book with him in it. I helped with all the fundraisers. I did all the travels to the places we planned to go and did things he could no longer do. Seemed like everything I did involved "honoring him." I tried all I could to be there for his family and friends. So I was there for everyone else, but myself and how I felt about it. So the inner struggle continued. But still, there was one major thing I had yet to do. That was, going to see him. I just couldn't do it. It took me forever to even sit in his cubicle at work when there were no available seats left in the room when I was on overtime! In a way, I guess it was acknowledging the truth. It always felt more comfortable to me to pretend he was just on holiday and was coming back. Its the same fantasy I had when my mom died.

But as I went through therapy, we discussed Caleb's influence on my life and how I should feel sad sometimes, yes, but I should also be happy I even got to know him. That I should celebrate his life and find peace and happiness that I got to know him, his family and friends. It was tough. I had Jacob and his wife (his longtime co-worker and close friend) over one night for drinks and of course, I got drunk and cried hard about missing him. I knew I still had more work to do. Even today, I still do. His name was brought up yesterday at work. And I had to pause and stop myself because I felt that sting behind my eyes start to rise up. His name cannot be a trigger word for tears. But rather it should trigger a smile! Most of the times, it does.

But I knew there was one thing I needed to do. I had to go see him.

I went to the funeral back in August but I didn't go to the graveside service. I had no idea where he was or what graveyard he was in. So finding myself open for a couple hours on Saturday, I did a google search and found the location of the graveyard. It was a few miles north of Owosso. I found it and drove around the place. I wasn't sure what I was looking for. But eventually I found it.

It certainly is one of the most beautiful stones I've ever seen. There's a tree design on the front that matches a tree tattoo his wife has. And there's a nice tree nearby the stone itself! On the stone is a jar with little notes inside. And there are pictures on the front and back of him, his wife and family. 

I was out there for almost an hour. Just crying and talking. Crying and talking. I poured out my heart and said everything I needed to say. It had to be done. The mountain I was carrying with me, I was now climbing. I shared all my thoughts and stared out into the clouds beyond the field, hoping to feel something. Some sort of comfort or some words to pop into my head. Some sort of, "answer." Even as I said everything I'd need to say, I'd wipe the tears away and look back at his picture and see that all familiar smile. And I'd start laughing. That smile is forever burned into my memory.

I chased some demons away that day and as I drove away, I felt better. I waved goodbye and promised I'd visit often.

I've been to graveyards all my life. I know deep down that "they" aren't really "there." Because they are stored in memory. They reside inside your heart and soul. And you can recall memories or create fantasies at any time. You can talk to them. And sometimes if you listen hard enough, they will answer you. But I always make it a point to stop and visit my grandparents and my uncle Rich and mom and Gloria when I visit southern Illinois. And I told my dad that I know one day he will be gone too. And I'll not have too many reasons to come back to visit there when he is gone. But I made the promise that I will go back just to make sure he always has flowers on his grave. Just because I can. He will lay next to those he loves most. Forever at peace and rest.

I decided long ago that I will not have a grave. No stone. I will be cremated and dumped into a river somewhere. Probably Mt. Pleasant, land of my childhood. I don't want anyone to feel the obligation to put flowers on a stone bearing my name or feel guilt that they haven't come chatted with me. I've always felt that if someone wants a chat with me, do it by reading my stuff. Blogs or comics. Or listen to my favorite music or watching some of my favorite tv or movies. That is the best way to connect with my energy from beyond. But there is some comfort in having a final stop, in a field of stone, resting next to the one you love. I love that, even though I know its not for me. Its a far better resting place to come to. A nice quiet corner, near a tree, next to the one you love most dear. One day.

But I left there feeling one thing: Envy. I'm happy my friend is at peace. Looking back to all the people who helped him and his family through their rough time, has me thrilled at how we can still love and help each other. That he indeed had a good world around him when he left, and how we can cultivate that and keep it alive. I left knowing that his grave isn't a place of sadness, but a place of celebration. He made it through and had a great world around him. Because he cultivated that around him by the way he was. And we were better people for having known him. I was envious of him at rest in a quiet corner, with a beautiful stone created with love and care. He had a place to go in the end. And he will lay next to his love at rest someday. He has something I will never have. That realization made me smile. 

But back to today: We got what we got. TO DO, I WANT... and we embrace what we got. Now and coming up. What happened and what we can make happen. Face the fears, honor what has happened and who we know. Have a good world when we die. Thats the ultimate goal.

After I visited Caleb I spent some time in Owosso. I had never been there before. I found a Ponderosa and ate an old familiar meal. Then I found a used book/Cd/DVD store:

I walked out of there with some old Metal Edge and Starlog magazines. Stuff I don't really NEED, but stuff I had when I was a kid. I've been thumbing through the pages, remembering. I'm comforted by the past. I'm a nostalgia guy, let's face it. All I collect are CDs and old video games. Things from when I was happy in the past. I'm embracing the memories.

..but most important to know, is that I am conjuring that happiness into the now. embracing who I was and who I am. And today, I am happy with that. I got what I got and that is just enough. And I'm happy to go and visit old and new friends. To spend time with those I love and hold most dear. To pick up a pencil even though my hands now hurt and still pencil the next page, and dream of the next story to come.

This is the life I got. And this is all I'll ever need.

--T

Kickstarter is OVER!

Well today was the day! The Kickstarter for my horror comic: TALES FROM THE GORE, is over! We raised almost THREE TIMES the amount asked for in 15 short days. We funded the project in less than 12 hours. Not bad for a 24 page floppy indie horror comic!

This project meant a lot to me. Specifically because its a tribute to my friend Caleb and the results after costs are covered go to his family and the Arlee Rodgers Surgery Fund (which she's doing great BTW). If you haven't seen Arlee and her progress, check out this:



So now we wait the 14 days and then we get the funds. Then place the order with Grecko in Michigan and then a couple weeks later we got our books. We will have a VERY LIMITED supply of books at Horrorhound Cincinnati at the 12 Gauge Gore booth as well. Meanwhile, Caleb's daughter Olya and I have some commissioned pieces to finish for people! We're getting to work on it quickly so that the books can go out on time and everyone is happy.

I cannot thank everyone who participated and pledged enough. Caleb would be so thrilled with this project and the success it has come with. Thank you all.

Caleb lives! The work continues.

--T

Oddz and Endz

Hey friends. New VLOG is up! Check it out:



We're less than 24 hours away from the end of the Caleb tribute horror comic, my new project! This will NOT be available in my online store here after its over, so this is your only chance to get it from me. Clicky Click Click HERE

I did some more work on Starslam 3 this past week. I think that is the next major thing on my plate, along with one of the novels. Once I get a couple commissions out of the way, I'll go full steam on it and the commissions for the TALES books. March/April will be busy times!

For those in the Cincinnati, Ohio area, I will be at Horrorhound Weekend March 17-19th. Stop by the 12 Gauge Gore booth to ask them where I am. I'll be wandering all over. Come party with us!

For those in Chicago, I will be at Exxxotica June 23-25th (I believe that is the dates). Mark your calendars!

Other than that I am trying to stay sane on a ton of overtime at the day job, lack of sleep and just getting through the day stress. I start therapy again today, so that might help. Just clearing some stuff in the basement. Nothing to worry about.

Anyway, thanks for checking back with me. I love you guys.

--T

No Rest for the Insanity

Welcome back my friends.

I hope the talking heads in politics are keeping you angry and distracted from the absolute corrupt bullshit that is going on behind the scenes. Pay no attention to the white rich men behind the curtain and nevermind that they are not using lube while they fuck you. But when the smoke clears, they will take what they will have wanted and leave you pissed and blaming the next guy... or better yet, each other!

Oh well, let's leave the madness behind as it recommended and almost mandatory to do so. Let's focus on what we're doing here. We're distracting ourselves making art. It's a worthy cause.

This week, I finally, finally, finally, finally, fina-fucking-ly finished a new book. Its a 24 page book called "TALES FROM THE GORE," whose Kickstarter is close to double what we wanted to raise for it. So far, its holding the line just above $900, which isn't bad. But I'd love to see it keep climbing. We've got about a week left on it and I want to sell as many books for it as we can. So here I am offering you an exclusive look at the first page. It features our buddy Caleb as our horror host, introducing the stories inside. Check it:

I gotta say, I'm damn proud of this book. It really was like pulling teeth for me to get it done (in more ways than one). But I kept my promise and here it is. You can pre-order it by going to our Kickstarter right HERE - To draw my friend in these pages and give him dialog was a weird experience. To me, there was a lot riding on it. You want to do a good job on something like this. I hope I did alright by you guys and by him.

I miss him everyday.

Speaking of comics: This coming month is the 10th Annual MSU COMICS FORUM. I was offered a table at the show but I declined. So please note I will not be there this year. I wish them all the best and you all should still try to make it out to the show.

I really haven't had much time to myself to get anything done, nor even attempt a relaxing day. I took this past Monday off in the hopes that I could spend time with my girl, Kitty D. We NEVER have a day off together. And with having the boys two weekends in a row, a pile on my TO DO list, I knew we needed just one day together. So we both had the day off. It all lined up. One rare calm in the storm of our lives.

And what happens? We both get the flu.

It started with some stomach issues. Then repeated trips to the sink and toilet, unable to keep food down. Then it developed into full on aches and chills. I spent all day in bed and her on the couch. As we passed each other in our weakened state, we'd help the other one out with what they were too sick to get on their own. We cared for each other. I guess that is the best we can muster on our only day off. So close, yet so far apart. Angry and tired, sick and in love. We tried to keep our sanity as well as some sort of nourishment in our corrupt virus infected bellies.

We attempt sanity weekly. We're both fighting battles. Everyday, outside people, places and things come and try to take us down. But we keep fighting, together. We got each others backs. We have 100% trust and loyalty to each other. We text constantly. I hate texting. But I do it for her.

We get as close as we can to each other.
We give each other space.
We get together everyday for talking and cuddling.
We dream about the future and enjoy as much of our present together as we can.

In short. We're happy. Very happy. And we've been fighting alongside each other and happy while doing it since the day we met, one year ago this coming late March. So Happy Valentines Day/Early Anniversary day to my love. I am finally completed in knowing you and how you treat me, and let me be me. Here's to many more happy years together.

Mushy stuff aside now---

So now that Tales from the Gore is in the can, I'm thinking about what is next. Novel? or Starslam 3? Probably both. On days where I feel like drawing (rare anymore), I will work on Starslam. On days where I am writing, I will work on one of the two main books I have almost finished. I hope to have some major progress on one or both of these projects by the summer. I also have work to do for the upcoming Exxxotica Expo in June. Perhaps some pinup prints or a special erotica comic collection. I also have the Vlog channel and Podcast to attend to. New episodes will be up very soon. The work continues.

 There are so many tiny things on my TO DO list of life. I gotta keep plugging away, checking them off one by one. Painfully slow. Excruciatingly dull and tasteless as it can be sometimes. But I'm getting through it. If anything the progress on "Tales" has brought me this week, is that I still can make it happen when I absolutely have to...

...and want to.

--T


One note on the blog here: I had to alter the blog comments posting rules. I think you have to be a registered user, not anonymous and I think I have to approve it before it posts. I didn't want to have to do that but it keeps undesirables and spammers away. Apologies to anyone this effects. I know I have many regular readers and posters that love to come here and comment to me. If you wish to contact me, the best way is via email at: phymns@yahoo.com - Thanks.

Milestones

Hello friends!

Well, the Kickstarter for TALES FROM THE GORE, my Caleb Stevens horror anthology tribute book went live yesterday and I'm proud to say it was funded in less than 12 hours. This marks the third Kickstarter in a row for me to do that. I'm beyond thrilled about it and how people are jazzed about it! We're even doing some exclusive copies to be sold at the SALT CITY HORROR FEST In Syracuse, NY on April 15-16th. Some will be sold and some will be raffled off along with some other goodies I am tossing to them. For details on that horror show, check out their Facebook link HERE
-- There will be some cool guests there, dealers and movies on 35mm playing. The people that run that show are good people. Check them out.

Meanwhile, the Kickstarter rolls on! You can learn the ins and outs about the kickstarter and stories behind its making and why it means so much, by checking out the new episode of the IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW PODCAST by clicking HERE

Lastly, you can check out the actual Kickstarter fundraiser for my new book: TALES FROM THE GORE by clicking HERE

_______________________________________________

Whew, now that is out of the way. We can talk about other stuff going on.

I'm still in heavy overtime mode at the day job. And with me juggling commissions, Kickstarter launches and more book production, I really haven't had much time to breathe or do anything really. My PS4 just sits there collecting dust. Plus we're adjusting to life with our new baby:

We decided to name her "BELLE" after the character in "Secret Life of a Call Girl."

Lily and Belle don't get along super well, but they are adjusting.

Between work and all this production, I really am just burning my candle at all ends. Even the middle! I got my boys the next two weekends and so that will be a handful of a different sort.  I decided after this weekend to take an extra day off just for me to unwind, spend time with Kitty D and just be still for a moment.While it feels good to make things happen and get things done, inside I'm just screaming for the train to slow down for a minute! The stress and the overall run run run life gets to me. Its something to talk about in my therapy sessions, for sure. I need to make those more of a priority very soon.

I discovered a new hobby, that of perler beading old 8-bit NES game sprites and things. But I haven't had much time to devote to it. But one night last week, I took a few hours and just sat and did it. It was great to turn my mind off and just put beads into a rack and make things. It reminds me of putting together legos, but way less expensive! These are the things I made the other night:

I like the hobby and will continue it. I feel like it centers me a bit. Hopefully after the rush of the Kickstarter is done, I can indulge a bit more and do other things I want to do with the perler beads.

Next month is Horrorhound Weekend. I've already booked my hotel and I'm excited as shit. If all goes well, I'll be getting my first tattoo there. Its a tribute piece I thought up for Caleb. Of course I will take pics and videos there for my VLOG and BLOG here. No worries. And a trip away will be nice. Because after that, things are going to ramp up with heavy production on my remaining projects, as well as new challenges at the day job where I am cross training on some new stuff. These things will take a lot of my time and focus. Ah, the stress to come.

But today, I am happy that we crossed the line comfortably with the new Kickstarter. I did all this for Caleb and Joe's family. I did it for Caleb. And I want it to be hugely successful for them and we sell a mass amount of comics. But this is just the basic cost needs for the book to get out the door. We still got far to go with the funds to raise. So much more can be done. And we've got 13 days to do it. Please repost or check out the Kickstarter for my new book: TALES FROM THE GORE right HERE

I appreciate the support, as do Caleb and Joe's family. I've done all my work. Its up to us to keep it going. Let's rock this thing!

--T

New KICKSTARTER! "Tales From The Gore"

Its finally here! My new horror comic: TALES FROM THE GORE is now live on Kickstarter.com! 

View the Kickstarter right HERE

Its 24 pages, 3 horror stories, pinups, fake ads and all in the EC Horror comic style. It features the first published work of Olya Stevens on the back cover!

There are options to get just PDF downloads, autographed books, sketched books, commissions, original art pages and more! And we got some pretty cool stretch goals as well.

This project means the world to me. Literally. There is so much meaning behind the making and publishing of this book, too much for me to go into here on this blog. I'll just stick to the facts and leave my ramblings for an upcoming Idiothead.com Morning Show Podcast. But for now, check out the Kickstarter for my new book: TALES FROM THE GORE on Kickstarter right HERE - I thank you for your support.

--Thanks all,

T

Upcoming: NEW COMIC pre-order! (Plus other stuff)

Hey friends!

I couldn't sleep well tonight. I woke up super early thanks to a combo of extreme dry mouth and that good old "just couldn't get comfortable" feeling. As always, I got a lot on my mind. Health stuff. Work stuff. Its all a jumble. But I felt like, lets get up and do something.

I'm in post-production of my latest comic. Its a short floppy horror anthology like the old EC horror books but its in honor of my friend Caleb who passed away last year. He was a massive horror fan and when I was in my own head about what I can do to help his family and his friend's family, this is what I came up with. It will be a 28 page book. Three stories, all ZOMBIE related. It will also have pinups, fun old fake ads like the old comics (Xray glasses, etc) and a few other surprises. Caleb himself appears in the book on a few pages intro-ing the stories as our resident horror host, cryptkeeper style! He would love this, I think. I hope. And most special of all: His daughter will see her first work ever published in the book! Its really gonna be a special occasion!

Yesterday, his pal Joe posted a pic of some of the pages from the book and people are saying some very kind words about the project. Its really got me jazzed to finish it and get the kickstarter up and running. I'm hoping to have all the art stuff done this week and finishing up final PDFs by next week. Then I will launch the Kickstarter for it. Incentives right now include digital copies, sketched copies, original art pages, commissions and other stuff. Its gonna be a basic and quick pre-order Kickstarter that I don't think will draw out too long. I'll order enough books to fill the orders and a few more for future sales at horror cons. Then the money that is left will be divided up between Caleb's family and then the Arlee Rodgers Surgery Fund for his friend Joe's daughter. I will not see a dime of profit from this project.

Right now, the title is "TALES FROM THE GORE" and its being presented by 12 Gauge Gore. I'm hoping to premiere it at Horrorhound Cincinnati in March. Here's some sneak peek pics of various things related to the project:

A look at our horror host CALEB in action!

A page I teased mid-last year finally gets a home in the new TALES FROM THE GORE! A special little tale!

Laying it all out...

A zombie story about Xmas time I drew a long time ago FINALLY gets a home in print!

And the book includes a faithful reprint of one of my favorite zombie related horror stories I have ever done.

 It has been a long time since I did just a quick 28 page comic like this. I tried to make it as painless as I could. Working on it was hard enough sometimes, but I just felt like I had to do this. I hope we sell a lot of copies with this project and the money earned can help out his family and friends as much as possible. It is also a form of therapy for me to just do something. Sometimes, you feel so helpless that just DOING SOMETHING makes one feel better.

The Kickstarter will launch before the month is over. A couple weeks. Look for an announcement very soon!

________________________________________________

I'm working through it folks. I'm trying my best to get back on the horse and finish this race. But I also am taking the time to slow down and just live a bit. I'm watching the movies I've always missed out on. I'm reading articles and chasing the whimsies. I'm taking the time to enjoy what I can and when I can around the craziness of my life. Some days I can literally feel my body breaking and my mind oozing out of my head. I need distractions.

Luckily, I got a great gal who listens to me, supports me and loves me. She always makes me laugh:

She's such a goof sometimes, I love it!

 I am aware fully that life is short. And I'm trying every day not to waste it. I saw this graphic the other day and it stuck in my head: 

I've worked hard at my dreams and day jobs since I was 16 years old. And there is so much more to do. New car, new home, new travels, raise my boys... so many things on the bucket list to get done. Not just artworking but life in general. But I am also noting that I deserve a break from it all too. I'm toying with getting a modern game system so that I am not out of the loop when it comes to what my kids will want someday, or to what my 16 year old is talking about. I'm tired of feeling like a man out of time, stuck in arrested development. And plus I deserve some fun too! So don't be surprised if I am posting some pics of a new PS4 sometime soon.

If my life has to drain a bit for me to stop and enjoy the smell of the flowers once in a while, so be it. Its a worthy life to live and I've earned some peace.... Don't you think?

U2 announced a JOSHUA TREE 30th Anniversary tour. I might go. Just because. Why not. Right?
Chase the whimsies! Carpe diem.

Maybe in these things, I am getting better. Healthier. I'm not beating myself up as much for not working as hard. Maybe thats a good thing. Instead of thinking where I SHOULD be, enjoy where I AM NOW... what a concept! Am I capable of relaxing? I'd love to find out.

But also this week: I got asked from three different sources for commission work. The downloads of the Idiothead Morning Show Podcast and the blog hits remain constant. People are still out there and they care! I can't begin to explain what that means to me that you've stuck with me through all this shit! And all the positive words and vibes floating around about the Caleb comic really got me jazzed up, man. Seems like every day people are asking: When is Starslam 3 going to come out? How about the new Pleasant Life?

Point is, people care and still want me doing it. That is freaking awesome! I appreciate it, so much. I know I got an ending in site for all these things and I hope to achieve that. Its a ways off and I want to enjoy it while I can. Because life is a journey. Chase the dreams and whimsies and then come back to Earth and relax a bit with those you love in a home you earned. But I promise all these things to you. We're gonna land this bird and its going to be the best time ever. Maybe my zeal for these things is returning. Maybe I'm just ready to go again. Who knows, but right now, it just feels really good.

I'm keeping it together so far in 2017. How about you?

--T

The Struggle State of my Being

Lazy New Year so far... for some!

Hello friends!

The days drift on by and I continue to work on the state of my being. And it is a constant struggle. I'm working on better diet habits. I'm working on trying to find a rhythm with my artwork. Tonight I finished inks on three pages for the upcoming horror comic anthology. The artwork is almost done and so I can move into post production with it all. Here's a peek:

Other than that, no new Starslam pages yet. I'm planning to sneak out this week and get some shit done. I really need to. I need that jumpstart!

Meanwhile, I'm doing a lot of this: 

 I've caught up with a lot of things I haven't seen. Like The Last Dragon, Labyrinth, Eat this Question (Zappa documentary), Queen of the Damned, etc. I've shown my girl some movies she hasn't seen like Rocky, Predator and Ed Wood. She loved them all as I knew she would. Both of us are just missing a few movies here and there in our checklist.

I'm enjoying watching them and I'm still working on the collection of discs, games and of course... MUSIC:

My new finds out in the wild this week!

All the CDs I've been getting I already have in my digital collection but I'm getting used expanded editions for my new CD shelf I got myself for my bday.

Speaking of bdays, today my dad turns 72. Its a real trip to think that my dad is 72. To me, he'll always be in his 40s or something like that. So weird to think that I'm older now that he was when I was born. He was 33. I turn 39 in a couple weeks. Its so surreal. Anyway, I hope I can get away some weekend and travel down to see him again. I know for the next three months I am going to be on mad overtime at the day job and I need it to save up for this year. I got some massive things coming up. Trips, a move, etc. So much to do...

I'm working hard to make better decisions for my health, both physical and mental. Continue to bare with me as I sort it all out. I hope to be completely cured by the time I'm 40. That's how it all works, right? Wave the magic wand and you're all sorted and fixed? Eh, not quite. But hell, I'm ok. I got good things rolling and I get a shot at waking up again tomorrow.

Tonight I did some drawing, a podcast and a new blog. Now I'm gonna sip some drinks and celebrate my life. Every day is a celebration. Enjoy the gifts you got and have earned. Onward and upward.

In the end, there is no struggle to my being, except the struggle I give to myself. We all have the keys to our own vehicle. How we maintain that vehicle and take care of it and where we go with it... thats up to us.

--T 

Thinking of the New Year

Hello friends.

I spent yesterday editing one of the new VLOGS that will be uploaded in the future. I'm trying hard to bank as much new material as I can so I can go full steam ahead on actual comic work. I got about two pages to finish pencils and inks on, plus a cover before I go into post-production on the first comic I will be releasing this year. Its the Horror Anthology/Caleb tribute comic that will likely get launched on Kickstarter and then released officially at HorrorHound Cincinnati.  Proceeds after the costs are covered are donated to the Arlee Rodgers Surgery Fund and the Caleb Stevens Memorial Fund. More on this soon...

After that, its all concentrated on two projects: Short story anthology novel (my first novel) and STARSLAM 3. I'll smatter a few other things in the middle of that, but that is the main push. I would like to have it ready by July for my first ever appearance at an erotica convention. Here's hoping.

Sometime soon, my old pal Ryan and I will finally be releasing the WISE INTELLIGENCE Graphic Novel! This is something I did the art on about 8-10 years ago and only the first issue was released. Well he is busy unearthing it and then we will be getting it out to the public. Then, its all concentrated on three projects: Anna Pocalypse 2, Pleasant Life 2 and the Porn Store tell all novel. After that, the slate is clear.

I am hoping to have all of these things done by December 31st 2017. It will be a lot of work but I think its time to clear the road ahead of me. I also know it will be a constant fight but its something that must be done.

In addition to this news, I can announce there are no plans to attend any sort of comic convention this year. I just don't think it fits into my business model anymore. I MIGHT do a sort of "victory run" in 2018, but I am not sure. Let me get through this year first! So this year is all about PRODUCTION, rather than promotion. I'm keeping everything in house right now so all of the above succeeds or fails on my merits. I got a time limit on these things and it all must be done by a certain time. I will strive to make it all happen. Deadlines, I can do.

Looking back on 2016, it was a hard one. I don't want to reiterate all the shit that went down but I'm looking ahead to what is to come and especially what is now. And for as much crap that happened last year, I still did some good things. I finished a graphic novel and it became the biggest preordered book I've ever done. I harvested good relationships all year and redefined some older toxic ones. After a few of the very bad events, I did a lot of soul searching and refining. I did a lot of coping and learning. I came out the other end with survivor's guilt but I am feeling the message: You got time to get it all done. Make the best of it.

I think about to people I lost last year (famous and not) and I've come to this conclusion: These people were themselves. Unapologeticaly. They didn't hide who they were, what they wanted, how they felt, etc. That is a great way to live. I realized that we are limited and fragile. We should honor and appreciate all that we are given, our lives and those who are around you.

So I am spending this year to refine myself. To clear my slate of everything I've wanted to do. After that, who knows. All I know is right now. All I NEED is right now. And right now I want to finish what I started and take care of things I've been meaning to do. To drive the dream home. The final push.

Let's just get it done.

-T

How I Spent My New Years

Hello friends!

Well, we've made it. We're on the other side to good ol' 2017. Where it will be all safe,no good celebrity deaths and filled with cotton candy kisses, chocolate rainbows and fluffy kittens, right? Lets hope so!

For me, I didn't have that eventful of a New Years' Eve. We had planned to go out but I ended up having to get the kids early the next day, so I just stayed at home and drank...

Jager and always a chaser. Nice!

The week before I did a nice round of overtime, but I did find some time to do some post Xmas shopping with my lottery wins....

I'll tell you, I'm not a fan of these POP figures but I saw this and I had to have it. People are saying its my gateway drug but I swear this probably will be my only one...... probably.

I got a nice stack of CDs from Replay and FBC in Lansing. Most of these I already own digitally, but I want a physical copy for my new shelf...

I used to have a shelf like this but I parted ways with it when I got rid of my CDs a few years ago. Since then I have grabbed new CDs/music DVDs here and there and haven't had a place to put them... until NOW! But man there's a lot of room for more. I guess I am going to have to go out and grab some more essentials!

My girl enjoying her Xmas present of a Sega Genesis! We also did some Wii Bowling and Harry Potter Lego.

Now that we've crossed the great barrier into the safe zone (being facetious there), its time to get into some new habits. I have started to eat and live healthier. Its going to be a very slow process and no hardcore crash diets type of thing. Its little changes, gradual changes and keeping things rolling. I'm also doing a lot of meditating and reading, as well as other things. I'm taking care of me. That's the important thing.

I am also busy on actual artworking! I'm working hard to get this horror comic/Caleb tribute book out the door. Only about 3-4 pages left to do for it plus a cover. I've given myself until end of this month to finish it but truthfully, I could have it done in a week if I wanted to. Expect a Kickstarter or something for it soon! After this book is done, its full speed ahead on Starslam 3. I did some new Pleasant Life 2 pages last week as well and who knows what else is lurking and not being talked about as much!

I also took some time this week to do some filming for the new VLOG channel! We went a few places and I shot stuff and shot lots of stuff at home to add to what I already got in the can. I got enough material now for about 4-5 Vlogs to start out with. I will launch Vlog #1 this month after I get some small shots done that I need for it. I really am enjoying the creativity of the project. Its part documentary, part home movies, part walkthrough, part comedy... I got this overall arch that I want to do over the course of this year and have planned out "episodes" of it already to wrap around things that are going to come up.

One of my main goals this year is to gather a rhythm for getting things done. I know there are obligations like family and day job that will derail some of this sometimes, but for the most part I am committed to just getting my shit done. And I am not compromising my time or attention to do it. If I have to wall myself up and give out a lot of "No's" to make it happen, so be it. I feel bad but I got commitments to answer to. Mainly to you fine folks! A promise is a promise, so let's get it done!

Anyway, enough treading water. Time to get on it! I hope you had a safe and happy new year. Let's go grab 2017 by the nuts and make it our bitch!

Cheers, T

Year End Wrap Up. Last Blog of 2016? LET'S HOPE SO!

Merry Christmas everyone! And here is my gift to you and to myself... because I am SOOOOO ready to put a goddamn button on 2016...

2016 in a nutshell....

 Here it is! My annual year end bloggy, recapping and commenting on everything from the past year. And this year was a fucking tough, tough, TOUGH one. Fucking brutal. Ranked in the top 5 personal worst of my life. But hey, we’re still here right? Before 2017 puts on its boxing gloves, lets get this over with:

2016 Year End Wrap Up…

My year condensed:  In January I woke up on the first in Grand Ledge after a late night party with Matt, Michelle and my GF at the time. We were determined to make 2016 our bitch. Little did we know that 2016 was already strapping on a huge, floppy, razor-blades glued to it SEVEN style dildo to start fucking us immediately. First three celebrity deaths were Alan Rickman, David Bowie and Glenn Frey… So it began. It was all downhill from there.

I was busy finishing up Starslam 2 to launch the Kickstarter in April. On January 24^th I turned 38. I bought a new bass guitar and amp with the intention to focus on writing some new music and maybe record an album in the summer. It never happened. It sat in my closet all year. In February I saw a Ska show with Gabriel and my GF and then we took a trip to Ann Arbor (my first time being there). I did all sorts of shopping and sight seeing. After that, my GF and I parted ways under good terms at the time. I helped pack her stuff for her to get when the lease in Grand Ledge was up. She had moved to Detroit in January.  At the end of the month was the MSU COMICS FORUM where I sold books and met Sergio Aragonies. Then we all went to Sherief’s house and drew dicks on a huge slab of paper.

In March I did the first Fantasticon Lansing and sold decently. Caleb and Joe were there and drew a bunch of dicks and had random people deliver them to me. It was great fun! Dean was set up next to me as well. Later on, I went to Horrorhound Cincinnati with Caleb, Colleen and Joe and had a blast! During this time I started chatting with a girl online and our talks got deep right away. Eventually we met and started dating. I wasn’t really looking to get into another relationship at all but it sort of happened. Her name: Danielle or as I dub her: “Kitty D.” We continued our courtship throughout the year, marking one of the only GOOD things to happen in 2016! Shortly around this time I helped Dean and Mjit move things into their storage.

In April I started collecting NES games, dropping my vinyl habit.  I later sold my collection and player in December. I also really ramped up my CD/DVD/Blu-Ray collecting. I did FCBD at Summit Comics and had fun as always. In anticipation for August, I signed a lease back in East Lansing where I was the year previous. I started boxing up everything in the apartment and getting new shit for my new place. Little did I know I wouldn’t be going there alone! I finished up Starslam and launched the Kickstarter in May. It raised over $3,800… far exceeding the first Starslam in numbers and money earned. It was one of the best moments of the year and my life. I also went to the Motor City Comic Con and sold decently, but realized I am burned out on the comic con experience, so I started thinking it might be my last one for a long while. Some disappointments abounded with the show and I just got disenfranchised about the whole affair. It was a valuable lesson learned. To end the month, I saw one of my favorite bands, GHOST, play live in Grand Rapids.

In June the Starslam 3 books came back from the printer and I got them all out the door. I took a solo trip to Saginaw/Midland/Bay City (old stomping grounds) and relived some old memories and made new ones! Then ended June by seeing ALICE IN CHAINS/GUNS N ROSES at Ford Field with my old pals Nick and Christine. In July my son Cody came and stayed with me for two weeks. We took a trip together to Carmi, Illinois to see where our family originates and to see my dad. I started another diet which didn’t take. I also began to struggle with getting artwork done. This is a pattern which would continue all year. End of July I helped Caleb’s family move into their new home.

And then August… fucking August. August 6^th Caleb passed away in a car wreck. What followed was months of depression, events to celebrate his life and raise funds for his family. My eating and depression spiraled out of control as I tried to keep my anger and life in check. The calm situation with my ex GF deteriorated and things got really heated and crazy for a while. Kitty D’s living situation also fizzled and so we decided to jump into the deep waters and move in together. We had friends come and help us move our things from Grand Ledge to East Lansing. It was a shitty move all around but we got through it. We worked hard to make the small living place our own and give it equal flair and comfort. September brought two trips to celebrate Caleb’s life. First was to Horrorhound Indianapolis where Joe raised funds for Caleb and brought in just under $3k. Kitty D loved the horror show and we decided to only do horror cons from now on. Then the next weekend we went to a Drive Inn camping weekend in Shaumberg, Indiana… a trip Caleb, Joe and I planned earlier in the year. A weekend of camping, Burlesque girls and watching horror movies at a drive in theater. It was fun but rainy and a bit depressing with Caleb not being there. But I’m glad I went.

Starting in the late summer and drifting through October/November, I was working sporatically on Starslam 3, Pleasant Life 2 and other things. Production has been spotty at best. I hired my first colorist and he was doing great things with the new Starslam pages I was doing. Andy’s work on the book so far really has given me my only spark of energy through some hard, depression filled months. In October my youngest son was hurt in a way I cannot go into, but it certainly ranks as one of the worst things to happen all year. Thus continues the spiraling depression and anger. November, Trump was elected and man, that’s a whole other blog post. Let's not even go there right now. Kitty D and I adopted a cat and named her "Lily Munster." She's a pain in the butt but brings a lot of love to our lives. Then finally December, a tree was planted at my day job in Caleb’s honor. The new job I helped Dean get ended up not working out. Christmas came and it was a frustrating visit with the kids. I came out with some great gifts and got severely drunk all weekend. 

Everything this year ended in such a down note. With the smoke clearing, we’re all left now scratching our heads thinking: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?!

There are so many other minor things and stress I could talk about that happened throughout the year, but all of it really is just added to the big pot of "WTF 2016." It was just a bad year all around. No one I know can argue otherwise. But you know what, we made it through. We survived the storm. And who knows what 2017 will bring. There is always the puncher’s chance of some progress and happiness. I got plans and schemes to go for in the new year and things to look forward to. I hope that I get into an upward swing. I hope to continue on the path out of the darkness and into some light. So say we all.

And FUCK YOU 2016. Seriously. FUCK… YOU…

Let's get to the lists: 

Best movies:

Star Trek Beyond, Deadpool, Don’t Breathe, Eight Days a Week, Suicide Squad, Batman v. Superman, Rush: Time Stand Still, Green Room, Star Wars: Rogue One (As of press time, I haven't seen this yet but I'll likely dig it so I put it on this list).

Best albums:

Anthrax: For all Kings, Neal Morse Band: The Similitude of a Dream, Metallica: Hardwired, Ace Frehley: Origins, David Bowie: Blackstar, Radiohead: A Moon Shaped Pool, Leonard Cohen: You Want it Darker.

Best books I read:

Digging up Mother: Doug Stanhope, A few FAMOUS LOCATIONS books by Chris Epting, The Artist's Way: Julia Cameron, Trigger Warnings: Neil Gaiman, Invincible: Kirkman/Ottley/Walker, Jessica Jones: Bendis/Gaydos.

Best TV:

Ash v. Evil Dead, Stranger Things, Eric Andre Show, Jessica Jones, Walking Dead, Preacher, Maron, South Park.

Worst Famous Deaths:

Steve Dillon, Jack Davis, Alan Rickman, Anton Yelchin, Kenny Baker, Muhammud Ali, Robert Vaughn, Gene Wilder, Tony Burton (Rocky), Ron Glass (Firefly/Barney Miller), Leonard Cohen, Chyna, Glenn Frey, Prince, David Bowie, Alan Young, Gary Shandling, Noel Neil (Superman), George Kennedy, David Huddleston (Big Labowski), Mr. Fuji, Drummer Nick Menza, Michael Massee (The Crow), Tom Neyman (The MASTER from Manos). 

Worst Events:

Caleb’s death, My son’s abuse, Weight Gain, Bad Breakup, The election and post-election events, Depression.

Best Events:

Meeting and falling in love with Kitty D, Guns N Roses/Alice in Chains/Ghost/Reel Big Fish-Suburban Legends-Maxies, Horrorhound memories, Starslam 2’s success, Hiring a Colorist, Book Sales increasing, MSU Forum and post-show party, various con appearances, Drive Inn trip, NES Collecting, two weeks with Cody, Tri-Cities trip, Ann Arbor trip.

2017 Events to look forward to:

Diet, vacation trip, releasing new material/final material, Star Wars 8, The move back to Grand Ledge area, Joint Custody of my boys, Seeing Cody hit his Senior year in HS, maybe doing new music, Exxxotica Con and let’s hope LOTS MORE!

Okay: Goals for 2017---

1- HEALTH - Dude, gotta drop some weight. Its serious. And my mental health needs to be addressed. I'm considering a return to therapy to get some stuff out of the basement and take care of some of the new things that trip me up now. Plus, it seems all of this year I've had no consistent progress on my projects. What holds me back? Well, I'd love to find out and address it! 

2- PROJECTS - Finish them! Get them done and gone. 

3- SAVE MONEY - I got some big events coming in 2017. Trips, new car, a move late summer and taking on my kids in joint custody. So I got some things to shoot for. I'm going to continue my savings efforts and make these things happen! 

4- EVOLVE THE BUSINESS - Do something new with Idiothead.com. I'm talking getting my store revamped, do more online business, back away from commission work and as I finish all projects... move into something new. Maybe not even related to the business. Just move into doing some new type of art. I might get back into some oil painting or making music or putting together the model kits I bought many years ago and finally finishing them! Maybe do some things for just ME. Chase the whimsies and back away from the table of the business. We'll see. 

5- VLOGS - I haven't announced it yet but I plan to do bi-weekly blogs all year to celebrate my final year of my 30s. I'm using old footage, new footage, process footage, etc. Really beef up the youtube channel and make it something fun. Just to chase the idea. I've already started this and I will be annoying everyone around me in 2017 with it. Enjoy! 

Okay, thats it. Barring any major event to happen in the next few days, I'm going radio silent until the new year. I say that because even now, people like Carrie Fisher are in the hospital with health issues... it seems we may be done with this year, but this year ain't done with us. It might decide to roll us over for one last violent stabbing in our rears before it tosses a $5 bill on the bed and leaves us to cry and cope. 

Too harsh? Eh... thats my mind after surviving this year. But hey, like I said: We did survive. We're here. And we got our days ahead to get on with it. Let's just go, shall we?

Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and I'll see you next year... gladly!

--T

Ah.....Breathing Room

Whew... snore... sleep.. what? I got a bit of breathing room at the moment to ATTEMPT a blog. Let's try it shall we?

I've just been working a ton of hours at the day job. We're into full OT making growing season and while its good to earn and save, it puts a strain on everything else going on. Plus twice this last week I got up early to take my kids to school. Its tough because I live almost 30 minutes away from their school. So I have to get up, drive there, wait 30 minutes for one bus to arrive. Then take the other one to his school, wait 45 minutes outside for it to open and then I take the 30 minute drive back. It takes a nice chunk of 3 hours in my early day when I get out of work at 1-3am sometimes. It takes its toll. Plus with my job you really have to be focused and able to pay attention. Due to my lack of sleep this week I made a couple mistakes but so it goes. The OT months will continue well into 2017 so don't expect too many blogs or podcasts from me. I'm trying to stay focused on everything I got going anyway, including day to day life.

 Ah, day to day life... which includes some work being done:

This is the first page of the Caleb/horror tribute book. I'm really happy with how it is coming together!

A tease for a Starslam page I got in this week from my colorist. Man are they coming out awesome!!! Wish I could show more but you know, spoilers!

Miss Lily Munster feeling neglected while Kitty D and I work our asses off at the day jobs....

Nice. We buy her a bed and she instead decides to sleep in old Amazon Prime delivery boxes.

But hey! Its Christmas season! I got about 99% of my shopping done and everything is wrapped. I think everyone will be very happy this year. We also got the tree up somehow: 

And of course, what is the Christmas season if you don't treat yourself a bit! Man, do I love those 24 hour Blu-Ray Amazon sales....

Finally, the collection is complete! I got almost 100 Blu-Rays now!

Also this week, I got a Neil Peart instructional DVD, the new AVGN volume 9 DVD, new Cards Against Humanity set and big storage box with blanks and exclusives, and a couple other things. I think I'm done buying things for a while. Time to save up for the events of 2017.

Ah, 2017! Kitty D and I are already planning ahead for a major trip to take. Also I officially signed on to probably my only appearance of the year, and its not where you think! I'm actually doing my first PORN CONVENTION in Chicago in July! Yeah, you read that right. I figure why not throw this at the wall and see what happens. I'm going there to promote Starslam and my erotica work in general. I am billed as "talent" which means I'll likely be sandwiched between some busty movie starlets on either side of me. (Cue Sesame Street's "One of these things is not like the other" music) But hey, it will be an interesting experiment and a good story at least. Sometimes you just gotta take the shot, ya know?

There are other things on the horizon for 2017, but there's plenty of time to discuss that stuff. We haven't even stuck the landing on this year yet. And every day we wake up there are more problems. There is more stress and more things to take us down. But you know what? Fuck it. As my girl loves to say: "Chuck it in the fuck it bucket!" We're here. We're breathing. We're standing and we're awake. Sometimes that is all you need.

I'm putting together my annual year end wrap up podcast and blog stuff. I hope to launch all that after Xmas for ya. Til then, lets all stay safe and sane through the holidays. Be good to each other and yourself especially. I'll see you on the other side.

Luvs, T-SantaDizzle.