Father's Day Week

Hey friends!

Father's Day weekend was awesome! I got to spend time with two of my little buggers and then I got some nice presents from everyone! D got me a SLIMER Pop and METROPOLIS complete on Blu-ray and a neat little pop up Beatles card. Her parents got me a large coffee table book on the making of RETURN OF THE JEDI. My oldest son got me this really cool metal STAR TREK display that I will hang in my collection. James and Scotty got me hand made cards and paintings. It was all very lovely. And I got to spend time with them over the weekend.

James laid on me while we watched Cars 3. Some nice cuddle time. I got Scotty some discs and James some candy. Scott also played a bit of an old Family Guy video game I got for him. That is a very old and frustrating game!

Speaking of video games, I got this:

Its been on my radar for a while to have one, so I got a Nintendo Switch! So far I have played MARIO ODYSSEY. I haven't plugged in ZELDA yet. I got a couple other games that are out that I want to get but I've been too busy to go out and get them. I guess this was a Father's Day treat for myself. Its been a rough go of things as of late. Needed a nice pick me up.

But don't think for a minute that I am just playing video games and ignoring my creative duties! I finished the VAMPIRELLA card set. Here's a look at some of them:

 In comic news: I've got about 15 pages on STARSLAM to ink. Here's a couple teaser images, no spoilers!

Plus also I got hired to do an 8 page horror comic for a nice dude. I gotta shoot pencils to him this week sometime so no video gaming until I finish that! But, I got a sore left thumb right now, so video gaming is off the table until that is healed. Just sore from biting my nails too much. Stupid me, but no biggie.

I also got some commissions that are overdue so I am not taking on anything else until these are done and out. I also shipped out all the books from LATE NIGHT SHORTS, so that is done. Just gotta finish a couple things for the bigger reward level people, as understanding and supportive as they always are! And then its my job to color all the completed PATREON stories... of which I am done and scanned in all the way to November, with a couple more in the pencil stage. I just want to get them all done and off my plate so I can finish these other things. So much to do. I feel guilty even getting a new movie or game system to distract me sometimes... but I know you need to take a break or else I go mad.

Coming up this fall are some great Switch games like Dragon Quest 11 (Where you can switch back and forth between regular modern and SUPER NINTENDO style graphics). Also a new LEGO STAR WARS game next year. A couple other ones I am forgetting too as I type this. But what is also coming out this fall is something I must get:

Look at that beauty! She's gonna cost a bit... like $500 but it should be out in November. This game and GALAGA are my two favorite arcade video games of all time. To have that in my kids' room along with all my toys might make me the biggest nerd... but perhaps the best dad ever! If I had this in my room as a kid? Oh man...

Not that my childhood wasn't great already, its just that now in this modern age we can get cheaper versions of these nostalgic things and I can share them with my boys. (But they gotta wait til daddy is done with them first!)

Thanks for reading!

--T

The Tale of A Tooth

This is a deep writing. Bare with me.

I honestly don't even know how to begin. I just have the feels tonight and I want to let it out somehow. I guess it started with my oldest son, Cody. He grew up with his mother, two.. sometimes four hours away from where I was living. While I did see him when I could, I missed out on a lot of the little things. He seems okay about it today. He's in college up at Michigan Tech making his dreams a reality. I really regret that I couldn't be there for the little things, but it was the nature of the situation we were in. So it goes.

I have two more children, Scott and James. When their mother and I divorced, Scott was five. James was one. Scott may remember, but James will never remember what it was like to have me around everyday.

In the beginning I was there always. Now, I am only there on weekends. Our weekends together consist of mostly play and me trying to squeeze in housework and my other job's needs around it. Sometimes the regular day job calls me away and I have to work, missing one of the precious few days I get to see them in a month. I wish I could do more. But I work so much. 40 hours and overtime. Plus the second job. And lately, I'm having to do even more work and time on the jobs to make ends meet. It will be like that for a while. I've tried to prepare myself mentally for the days where I might have to work instead of being home with them.

Again, I miss out. So it goes.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not complaining about having a good job and a great fanbase that supports my work so that I can continue to make art and use my actual degree and lifelong training to draw and make worlds and art for people to enjoy. But I have to work double hard to make ends meet for my home and for my kids. And in that, when the little things come, they come out of nowhere and I have to pause and look. Usually its already passed me by. Scott would be talking and I would look into his mouth. There is a tooth missing. He'd be like "oh yeah! I lost a tooth!" And I'm on the floor sobbing. I miss so much.

I never have been there for any of my kids to loose a tooth. (Note: After I just typed that last sentence, I had to stop and cry for a bit. Its now ten minutes later as I finish.) And that is where the anger and the pain of separation from my kids comes in. All these little things most parents take for granted, I miss out on. By design, it is so. Over time, I've slowly learned to accept that. It is what it is. I miss every milestone that comes. They arrive and look older. They speak better, write better. I stay the same. So it goes.

You know the worst phrase I hear in my life? "Goodbye dad, I love you. See you next weekend." Its like a fucking knife, every time I hear it. Every time.

This weekend my youngest son James came to me and said, "I lost a tooth!" His first tooth. I of course am now biting my lip not to cry again. Just let it go. Just let it go. Bury it for now, deal with it later. Get alone after the weekend and cry it out. Talk it out. Write it out. Scream it out. Just get through it. Because this is just the way it is.

But this time was different...

James had a second tooth that was loose. I got kind of excited about it. Maybe, he might lose it this weekend! Nah, won't happen on my watch. I'm not that lucky.

Tonight, his tooth came out. His second baby tooth that was in every picture I took when he was young. He was happy to be rid of it but worried that the tooth fairy might not find him at daddy's house. I assured him that she likely would and I would put it in a plastic baggie to keep it safe for her. I wrote on a note inside: JAMES TOOTH. 9-14-19. Its in my lock box now. I'm keeping it forever. After all this time, I finally earned a moment. I earned a tooth.

When you are the father of kids who live in a separated home, its a tough battle. You feel like you have a lot to explain for. You have major obligations. You cannot afford time to feel or remember. You just have to keep going. Ignore that empty baby seat in the back of your car. Fold their clothes and put them away in quiet. Don't let the pain and loneliness trickle down to them. Its your cross to bare. Get them groceries, things to do and make plans for the coming weekend. Keep hoping you will actually get the day off with them and the sun will come out so you can walk outside or go to the park. Watch the other mommies and daddies together there as you stick out as a single parent there with your boys. Just be there. Hope for one day in the future that you can truly be there for them in a way you know how and that the pain is long gone. Hope for the days when it doesn't even matter anymore. You did your job and you will continue to be the rock for them. Keep trying to turn them on to things you like. Maybe the seeds you plant will grow? Who knows.

So much to do and get through. Tough times ahead. But the one thing I know right now is that I got a tooth. James said the tooth fairy brought him one dollar for his tooth at his house. At daddy's house tonight, the fairy left two.

--T

CHRISTMAS 2018

Some picture highlights of my Christmas 2018:

Belle Belle says: MEOW HUMBUG!

Santa really poured it on this year!

Lily loves the empty boxes.

Watching my boys open their presents is always a delight!

Above: My gifts from my lovely in-laws and my lovely fiancee Santa D! They know me so well.

I ended the day making Ham, Green Beans, Biscuits, Dumplings and Potatoes using my mom's mixer and Gloria's rolling pin. Its like they are with me every time I cook those meals for my family!

I spent the rest of Xmas drinking booze, playing games and chatting. It was a fun day. Now back to the day job grind for the rest of the week. Gotta get ramped up for the end of the year and get some stuff off of my TO DO list! Here's hoping!

Merry Holidays to all of you. Thanks for your support.

--T

40 Years

Ive thought about what I wanted to write in this blog about turning 40. Ive gone over it a few times and I still do not know what to say. I got a million things I would love to bitch about, sing praises for, plug, scream and cry about, remember, forget, etc.  Just everything. The wickedness of the world seeps into my brain. The push/pull feelings of my own lack of time or creative rhythm beat in my head like a sore throbbing and leaking varicose vein. Im happy, grateful, excited, tired and worn out all at once. The distant past swirls in my thoughts and my future hangs over my head if I only were to reach up and grab it. But I dont. I just sit here thinking. Plotting. Pondering. Worrying.

So I wont go into any of it. I will just let the pictures of my recent life do the talking for me. Because right now, I just don't have much to say.

Not yet. 

I'm grateful for everyone who sent me an email, a private message, a gift, a twitter or facebook post acknowledging my birthday. I saw you and I appreciate you caring enough to toss me a thought. Its means the world to me. Thank you.

My girl made me a birthday cake!

My two youngest enjoying STAR WARS. Its hard to get Scotty to sit and watch anything, but he and James were glued to the TV for the most part of watching A NEW HOPE this last weekend. Maybe I will never have to sit through another episode of PAW PATROL or PEPPA PIG again. :)

For my birthday, I told my girl to not get me any presents. She of course, would not listen. She dug through my want lists and scored these.... four vintage STAR TREK TMP mint on card figures. Will go very nice in my collection!

My in laws got me a nice collection of comics and graphic novels to read, as well as a card with a large amount of money in it to get something else I want. I really am blessed to have her and them in my life.

A couple weekends ago, my coworkers and I had another vintage game night. I beat DUCK TAILS for NES...

Hard to see, but they tag teamed and beat the original GHOSTS AND GOBLINS... which as some of you know is next to impossible to do!

While they wrestled with that, I did an entire playthrough of the first quest in THE LEGEND OF ZELDA... which shows you how long they were playing it! I started Zelda here when they were on their second play through near level 5. The beat Ghosts N Goblins when I was in the middle of beating level nine. So about an hour and a half of playing just one level to my whole original quest! Some patience they got, thats for sure!

To cap it off, we played a quick run through MARIO 3. Necessary.

Lastly on the pictures front, I found this meme this week and it very much rings true. Do not worry about me folks. I am just overworked, overtired and burned out. I haven't had a true vacation since last May. I have tried to take a day for myself here and there, but it has not really helped. This coming weekend I am going away for a bit, so I hope that fills my bone dry fuel tanks. Because feeling this way just sucks. But Ive been through worse. I will push through.

Final thoughts:

I recorded the LAST EPISODE of the IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW. Stream it HERE ~~ News about the new, reworked podcast is coming via my PATREON.... which will launch sometime this first quarter of the year. I have a bunch of stuff I am working on and saving for when it launches. I just want to be sure it is all ready before I pull the trigger on it and commit. I hope to shake this big draining cry of ennui off my shoulders for good and get to work on what I know I need to work on. It will be worth it when it rolls out. You will see!

Anyway, Thanks for reading and supporting. You will hear from me again soon.

~~Much love eternal, T

A for Effort

Welcome back my friends. I just slept 13 hours to refill my tanks from a long weekend with the boys. For some reason this weekend I couldn't sleep at all. Maybe 3 hours a night. Just my brain on overdrive. No THINKY PAIN this time, just random BS. Same old way my brain always works. Laying in bed at 3am then I think, "Whatever happened to that studio where Rush recorded all those albums like "Moving Pictures" and "Signals?" I heard they were closing it. What happened with that?" Then I'm on google or youtube trying to find random BS facts about that random thing I just thought up. Cause I know if I don't do that the second I think of it, I'll forget about it and then spend hours going, "What was I wanting to look up last night? I can't remember!" I used to just leave a notepad at my bed table to write down thoughts. But then the next day I can't read my chicken scratch or I decide what I wrote wasn't worth pursuing. Vicious cycle I put my brain through. I should get some pills to mellow myself out. But I'm not a drug guy.

I had fun with my boys this weekend:

Through a trade I recently acquired an old Millennium Falcon toy. I got it for the kids. Here is James slowly discovering it. Twas a nice moment to pass along something from my youth to him. I had so many fun years with my own Falcon toy.

James loves the slides at the Jumping Jax bounce house in Lansing.

Bounce houses is something James and Scott-Bot can both get in on!

Momma Belle and Baby Luna observing the boys and their activities. Man, Luna has got so big!!

My best friend.

I spent all Monday trying to recooperate on sleep, while my poor girlfriend had to clean the house on her own. It was nice of her to sacrifice her time to see that I could lay down and awake 13 hours later to be somewhat normal.... whatever normal is for me lately.

I haven't done much this past weekend on comics stuff. This week I hope to get the final drawings done for the newest book I hope to get the Kickstarter rolling for. Then word ballooning as well. I have a Saturday to myself this weekend as D is going camping up north. But then I gotta see the boys Sunday for a condensed time and get my sleep pattern changed to tackle a week of overnights. I'm doing last stretch training at the day job that will open a lot of opportunities for me. New programs, new ways to output digital work and all of that leads into more overtime... something that will help with my long term life goals. It will probably condense a bit more of my "free time," but eh, I don't care. I got an opportunity here to make some cash and start saving/paying off things. That is where my life needs to be leading at the moment. I got so many goals (small and big) to work on. This whole effort at the day job will help make a lot of it happen. Necessary.

Speaking of life, I want to tackle a sensitive subject. I know a lot of people read this and so I hope to address it here. I know I'm busy. I know lots of my free time is occupied with kids, adulting and all my creative endeavors.  But sometimes people read me being busy the wrong way and then think I am avoiding them or something to that nature. Then that leads to me being blocked or unfriended or unfollowed on social media or just basically written off as a friend. It really pains me to see when that happens. Every day I'll think to an old friend or acquaintance I haven't heard from in a while and I check up on them. And it is easy to see when they have unliked, unfriended or unfollowed me in some way. Sometimes I'll contact them and work out what they are thinking or feeling about me or the situation. I know so many people and with life's juggles its hard to keep up with everyone. Doesn't mean I don't care about you. My time is limited. Life has got in the way. Whatever the case is, its not an excuse I offer you. Nothing has changed for me. My heart and door is always open to those I care about. I'm very accessible by message, call, email, etc. You hit me with an email or message, I usually will get back to you within a day, if not minutes. I get saddened when someone who means so much to me feels I've wronged them in some way and feels it necessary to cut ties with me. It hurts to know that what you think you have with a person, after all you went through with them, that you can be so easily discarded or disregarded. I truly believe that people enter your life and are in your life at key moments. And you think, "Wow, thank God they were there then!" And before you know it, things somehow have changed between you. It sucks. It really does. I make efforts every week to reach out to someone (usually on Twitter or Facebook) with someone who I haven't talked to in a while. An old co-worker. An old college friend. An old artist buddy... etc. I've been blessed to cross paths with so many people. and with only a handful of arseholes I've now cut off from my life, I've been very lucky to know everyone I've met. Just know that when I am randomly thinking of stupid crap late at night, I'm also randomly thinking about you too. "Whatever happened to so and so? Man I miss when we worked together or were at that show together that one year. I wonder how their kids are doing or what they are working on now..." My thoughts are always on you. I try to reach out. It makes me feel great when I do. And I am glad when others reach out to me too. Even if its just a LIKE or a comment on the blog here. It lets me know you are still out there and give a shit. I notice all who do it. Don't think your simple clicks through your busy day are lost on me. I notice who is still there in my corner. And just know, I am still in yours. I love you all!

Man, I got a TO DO list 28 miles long. Mountains to climb. Dreams to grab hold of and force them into existence. Everyday I chop at the thick tree, waiting for it to crunch and topple over and get the fuck out of my way.

Give me an A for Effort. I'm trying hard folks. I really am.

--T

Year End Wrap Up. Last Blog of 2016? LET'S HOPE SO!

Merry Christmas everyone! And here is my gift to you and to myself... because I am SOOOOO ready to put a goddamn button on 2016...

2016 in a nutshell....

 Here it is! My annual year end bloggy, recapping and commenting on everything from the past year. And this year was a fucking tough, tough, TOUGH one. Fucking brutal. Ranked in the top 5 personal worst of my life. But hey, we’re still here right? Before 2017 puts on its boxing gloves, lets get this over with:

2016 Year End Wrap Up…

My year condensed:  In January I woke up on the first in Grand Ledge after a late night party with Matt, Michelle and my GF at the time. We were determined to make 2016 our bitch. Little did we know that 2016 was already strapping on a huge, floppy, razor-blades glued to it SEVEN style dildo to start fucking us immediately. First three celebrity deaths were Alan Rickman, David Bowie and Glenn Frey… So it began. It was all downhill from there.

I was busy finishing up Starslam 2 to launch the Kickstarter in April. On January 24^th I turned 38. I bought a new bass guitar and amp with the intention to focus on writing some new music and maybe record an album in the summer. It never happened. It sat in my closet all year. In February I saw a Ska show with Gabriel and my GF and then we took a trip to Ann Arbor (my first time being there). I did all sorts of shopping and sight seeing. After that, my GF and I parted ways under good terms at the time. I helped pack her stuff for her to get when the lease in Grand Ledge was up. She had moved to Detroit in January.  At the end of the month was the MSU COMICS FORUM where I sold books and met Sergio Aragonies. Then we all went to Sherief’s house and drew dicks on a huge slab of paper.

In March I did the first Fantasticon Lansing and sold decently. Caleb and Joe were there and drew a bunch of dicks and had random people deliver them to me. It was great fun! Dean was set up next to me as well. Later on, I went to Horrorhound Cincinnati with Caleb, Colleen and Joe and had a blast! During this time I started chatting with a girl online and our talks got deep right away. Eventually we met and started dating. I wasn’t really looking to get into another relationship at all but it sort of happened. Her name: Danielle or as I dub her: “Kitty D.” We continued our courtship throughout the year, marking one of the only GOOD things to happen in 2016! Shortly around this time I helped Dean and Mjit move things into their storage.

In April I started collecting NES games, dropping my vinyl habit.  I later sold my collection and player in December. I also really ramped up my CD/DVD/Blu-Ray collecting. I did FCBD at Summit Comics and had fun as always. In anticipation for August, I signed a lease back in East Lansing where I was the year previous. I started boxing up everything in the apartment and getting new shit for my new place. Little did I know I wouldn’t be going there alone! I finished up Starslam and launched the Kickstarter in May. It raised over $3,800… far exceeding the first Starslam in numbers and money earned. It was one of the best moments of the year and my life. I also went to the Motor City Comic Con and sold decently, but realized I am burned out on the comic con experience, so I started thinking it might be my last one for a long while. Some disappointments abounded with the show and I just got disenfranchised about the whole affair. It was a valuable lesson learned. To end the month, I saw one of my favorite bands, GHOST, play live in Grand Rapids.

In June the Starslam 3 books came back from the printer and I got them all out the door. I took a solo trip to Saginaw/Midland/Bay City (old stomping grounds) and relived some old memories and made new ones! Then ended June by seeing ALICE IN CHAINS/GUNS N ROSES at Ford Field with my old pals Nick and Christine. In July my son Cody came and stayed with me for two weeks. We took a trip together to Carmi, Illinois to see where our family originates and to see my dad. I started another diet which didn’t take. I also began to struggle with getting artwork done. This is a pattern which would continue all year. End of July I helped Caleb’s family move into their new home.

And then August… fucking August. August 6^th Caleb passed away in a car wreck. What followed was months of depression, events to celebrate his life and raise funds for his family. My eating and depression spiraled out of control as I tried to keep my anger and life in check. The calm situation with my ex GF deteriorated and things got really heated and crazy for a while. Kitty D’s living situation also fizzled and so we decided to jump into the deep waters and move in together. We had friends come and help us move our things from Grand Ledge to East Lansing. It was a shitty move all around but we got through it. We worked hard to make the small living place our own and give it equal flair and comfort. September brought two trips to celebrate Caleb’s life. First was to Horrorhound Indianapolis where Joe raised funds for Caleb and brought in just under $3k. Kitty D loved the horror show and we decided to only do horror cons from now on. Then the next weekend we went to a Drive Inn camping weekend in Shaumberg, Indiana… a trip Caleb, Joe and I planned earlier in the year. A weekend of camping, Burlesque girls and watching horror movies at a drive in theater. It was fun but rainy and a bit depressing with Caleb not being there. But I’m glad I went.

Starting in the late summer and drifting through October/November, I was working sporatically on Starslam 3, Pleasant Life 2 and other things. Production has been spotty at best. I hired my first colorist and he was doing great things with the new Starslam pages I was doing. Andy’s work on the book so far really has given me my only spark of energy through some hard, depression filled months. In October my youngest son was hurt in a way I cannot go into, but it certainly ranks as one of the worst things to happen all year. Thus continues the spiraling depression and anger. November, Trump was elected and man, that’s a whole other blog post. Let's not even go there right now. Kitty D and I adopted a cat and named her "Lily Munster." She's a pain in the butt but brings a lot of love to our lives. Then finally December, a tree was planted at my day job in Caleb’s honor. The new job I helped Dean get ended up not working out. Christmas came and it was a frustrating visit with the kids. I came out with some great gifts and got severely drunk all weekend. 

Everything this year ended in such a down note. With the smoke clearing, we’re all left now scratching our heads thinking: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!?!

There are so many other minor things and stress I could talk about that happened throughout the year, but all of it really is just added to the big pot of "WTF 2016." It was just a bad year all around. No one I know can argue otherwise. But you know what, we made it through. We survived the storm. And who knows what 2017 will bring. There is always the puncher’s chance of some progress and happiness. I got plans and schemes to go for in the new year and things to look forward to. I hope that I get into an upward swing. I hope to continue on the path out of the darkness and into some light. So say we all.

And FUCK YOU 2016. Seriously. FUCK… YOU…

Let's get to the lists: 

Best movies:

Star Trek Beyond, Deadpool, Don’t Breathe, Eight Days a Week, Suicide Squad, Batman v. Superman, Rush: Time Stand Still, Green Room, Star Wars: Rogue One (As of press time, I haven't seen this yet but I'll likely dig it so I put it on this list).

Best albums:

Anthrax: For all Kings, Neal Morse Band: The Similitude of a Dream, Metallica: Hardwired, Ace Frehley: Origins, David Bowie: Blackstar, Radiohead: A Moon Shaped Pool, Leonard Cohen: You Want it Darker.

Best books I read:

Digging up Mother: Doug Stanhope, A few FAMOUS LOCATIONS books by Chris Epting, The Artist's Way: Julia Cameron, Trigger Warnings: Neil Gaiman, Invincible: Kirkman/Ottley/Walker, Jessica Jones: Bendis/Gaydos.

Best TV:

Ash v. Evil Dead, Stranger Things, Eric Andre Show, Jessica Jones, Walking Dead, Preacher, Maron, South Park.

Worst Famous Deaths:

Steve Dillon, Jack Davis, Alan Rickman, Anton Yelchin, Kenny Baker, Muhammud Ali, Robert Vaughn, Gene Wilder, Tony Burton (Rocky), Ron Glass (Firefly/Barney Miller), Leonard Cohen, Chyna, Glenn Frey, Prince, David Bowie, Alan Young, Gary Shandling, Noel Neil (Superman), George Kennedy, David Huddleston (Big Labowski), Mr. Fuji, Drummer Nick Menza, Michael Massee (The Crow), Tom Neyman (The MASTER from Manos). 

Worst Events:

Caleb’s death, My son’s abuse, Weight Gain, Bad Breakup, The election and post-election events, Depression.

Best Events:

Meeting and falling in love with Kitty D, Guns N Roses/Alice in Chains/Ghost/Reel Big Fish-Suburban Legends-Maxies, Horrorhound memories, Starslam 2’s success, Hiring a Colorist, Book Sales increasing, MSU Forum and post-show party, various con appearances, Drive Inn trip, NES Collecting, two weeks with Cody, Tri-Cities trip, Ann Arbor trip.

2017 Events to look forward to:

Diet, vacation trip, releasing new material/final material, Star Wars 8, The move back to Grand Ledge area, Joint Custody of my boys, Seeing Cody hit his Senior year in HS, maybe doing new music, Exxxotica Con and let’s hope LOTS MORE!

Okay: Goals for 2017---

1- HEALTH - Dude, gotta drop some weight. Its serious. And my mental health needs to be addressed. I'm considering a return to therapy to get some stuff out of the basement and take care of some of the new things that trip me up now. Plus, it seems all of this year I've had no consistent progress on my projects. What holds me back? Well, I'd love to find out and address it! 

2- PROJECTS - Finish them! Get them done and gone. 

3- SAVE MONEY - I got some big events coming in 2017. Trips, new car, a move late summer and taking on my kids in joint custody. So I got some things to shoot for. I'm going to continue my savings efforts and make these things happen! 

4- EVOLVE THE BUSINESS - Do something new with Idiothead.com. I'm talking getting my store revamped, do more online business, back away from commission work and as I finish all projects... move into something new. Maybe not even related to the business. Just move into doing some new type of art. I might get back into some oil painting or making music or putting together the model kits I bought many years ago and finally finishing them! Maybe do some things for just ME. Chase the whimsies and back away from the table of the business. We'll see. 

5- VLOGS - I haven't announced it yet but I plan to do bi-weekly blogs all year to celebrate my final year of my 30s. I'm using old footage, new footage, process footage, etc. Really beef up the youtube channel and make it something fun. Just to chase the idea. I've already started this and I will be annoying everyone around me in 2017 with it. Enjoy! 

Okay, thats it. Barring any major event to happen in the next few days, I'm going radio silent until the new year. I say that because even now, people like Carrie Fisher are in the hospital with health issues... it seems we may be done with this year, but this year ain't done with us. It might decide to roll us over for one last violent stabbing in our rears before it tosses a $5 bill on the bed and leaves us to cry and cope. 

Too harsh? Eh... thats my mind after surviving this year. But hey, like I said: We did survive. We're here. And we got our days ahead to get on with it. Let's just go, shall we?

Happy Holidays, Happy New Year and I'll see you next year... gladly!

--T

Gearing Up the Holidays

Hey friends!

Seems like everyday I am going, going, going. In a couple days it will be Thanksgiving. I'm going to have a friend come by to eat, along with my kids for a couple hours. Then I will have two glorious days of peace and quiet. I don't plan on doing anything. Not going anywhere. Maybe pick up a pencil or two, but other than that, just staying at home and spending time with my girl. Sunday I'll have the kids again, and then its back to work. But I am very much looking for this little mini break I am getting. I need it. The day job, while I love it, it can get a bit mundane and I am looking forward to a break. I'm getting older and things just seem to take more out of me. Plus this:

Star Trek: FIRST CONTACT came out 20 years ago today. It was the best of the TNG movies. It also is the only movie I saw twice in the same day. I saw it early in the day, as I do with all Trek movies that come out. Then at night a group of friends all wanted to go see it so I went with them. It was worth it. It ranks highly on my favorites of the Trek flicks.But 20 years???? MAN THAT MAKES ME FEEL OLD!!!!!

But its not all bad. My new kitty has brought some life and excitement to the daily drone on. 

She LOVES to drink out of our cups. Can't leave them laying around or else she'll tip them over.

And she's EXCELLENT with the kids!

James sitting in her toy basket.

But its not all without some productivity in the house. This week I took the Bat Blazer for a tune up and got some erotica pages inked. Also did some new Pleasant Life 2 pencils...

New Pleasant Life 2 pencils!

And I paid my colorist and so I got a slew of new pages from him and man are they killer! I can't show the bulk of them cause (spoilers) but here are a couple: 

Starslam 3 colors!

Man, the HQ hasn't looked any better than this!

Man, Andy is killing it with the colors on these pages! My art has never looked better! Its a great high note to go out on!

Whoa, whoa, what? "Go out on?" What does that mean?

I'll let those thoughts gestate for the time being, but I'm really thinking about doing other things beyond comics. Like the novel writing. Getting back into oil painting. Doing model kits for my home, etc. I figure why not finish all the projects I promised and then call it a day for a while... or longer than that. It will be a while before that can happen, and who knows what vigor will be reignited in that time from now til then. But I'm considering all these things as I move forward. 2017 will be a huge year as far as releases from me goes. You'll see a lot of me in print form. After that, I have nothing planned. Not sure if I will plan anything either.

But let's not dwell on those thoughts today. We've got a lot of work to get done before those questions can even be pondered. Four comic projects. Two novels. Its a lot to get done, so the work continues. Also: I got some special plans for the video youtube channel I plan on announcing very soon. A nice little Xmas present coming for ya'll!

I'm such a cock tease...

I hope everyone has a good holiday weekend. I know I will!

Much love, T

Pre-Holiday Thoughts

Hey friends!

My commission sale drive continues until next week Thanksgiving! Details HERE - We've already raised an additional $250 for the Arlee Rodgers fund for her surgery and I appreciate it. Let's keep it going!

Arlee's family is on my mind this weekend. This weekend is the Days of the Dead con in Chicago. Last year this time, Arlee's dad Joe, myself, Caleb and his wife Colleen drove through the two day blizzard to get to the show for one night only. It was scary as hell but we made it. I had a great time at the show itself. You can see pics and a recap right HERE - We got drunk off our ass, danced and partied. I met some new celebs and bought some cool shit. But it was my first horror con and I was loving every second we were there. This year Joe, his wife and Colleen are going. I wish I could but I have my kids this weekend and no days off left in which to head out there as well. I wanted to go out if only to toast to my friend Caleb and celebrate his life with my friends, his friends and family. I called for a rain check on that event until March Horrorhound in Cincinnati. Still, I wish I could have gone. I've been thinking about the trip from last year a lot and how much fun it was, despite the scary snow drive. I hope to make it to many more horror shows and bring Caleb's spirit with us every time we go. I guess that makes these things even more special than they were before. So that's a good thing. I certainly will never forget that weekend last year... or him.

This weekend I have my boys and next week is Thanksgiving! We've already bought our turkey and have made plans on what we are going to do. I'll have the boys for three hours that day and a friend might be joining us. Other than that, I plan to just take it easy for a couple days. I REALLY need to relax and have some quiet time. I never get to do that and I desperately need it. We got some things to do on Saturday that will be fun, other than that, I am just going to focus on the therapy I need of relaxing. I might get productive on some artwork, but I'm not promising myself anything other than some much needed rest/relaxation... whatever form that takes.

I plotted out some new pages for Starslam 3 and scanned a bunch of new things for the Patreon.. whenever that is going to launch. I might do some inking on the pages this weekend if the kids let me. We shall see.

I'm addicted to the new Neal Morse album, THE SIMILITUDE OF A DREAM. It might dethrone Anthrax's FOR ALL KINGS as my album of the year. Its a big musical journey, for sure. Ranks up there with some of his best. You can check out the album yourself on Itunes or order it through his website HERE - If you like prog rock, stuff like early Genesis, Yes, Floyd and other stuff, you'll certainly dig this.

I wrote a song at work the other night. Some great lyrics that I need to hone down and put music to. I know early on this year I got a new bass and wanted to do some recording. Those plans never happened. But I still desire to get something going with it. Perhaps after the holidays and I get a couple of these comic/book projects out the door, I might focus some creative energy that way. I'd like to. I got a ton of good personal songs I'd like to get done and out into the world in some form. Maybe the Patreon? Who knows! We'll figure it out.

Thanksgiving is the precursor to the big Xmas season. I've already started buying presents for the kids and Kitty D. I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Yes, even after this year of absolute shit. Right now I'm just thankful I'm awake and still here. Its all I need at the moment. And next week I'm going to cook the fuck out of a large 22 pound Turkey, Taters, Dumplings, Stuffing, Biscuits, Asparagus, Beans and more. To celebrate life and love. To think to the good days ahead.

Yeah, sometimes we're all deep in the shit. But we know the light keeps us safe and sane. We can be each others light. Let's keep striving for that.

--T

New things, New Kitty and Other Thoughts

(Note: Below are pics of my new couch, new cat and more. But please indulge me to get a little deep for the first little bit. Thank you.)

Hello friends. Its been almost a week and I'm letting things sink in. My last blog really was a lash out of anger and I spoke out of despair. In some ways I'm ashamed of some of what I said, but I will not delete it. It was my initial reaction and I think it needed a place to be stated. But I've had time to think about things and I got some conclusions of clarity:

1-As of for the moment, Trump to me remains an unstable, unqualified, inexperienced, impulsive, shady, deceptive person and I honestly am concerned. Not for myself, but for my friends who are dealing with the fallout of everything and everyone. Some small portion of his supporters are using his election as a rallying cry to push forth their own hate speech and even some agendas. I have zero problem with Trump wanting to try something new and make these "great deals" he says he can make. I welcome him to try if he thinks he can do better. What I don't agree with are the social issues and the hate speech he's welcomed. And make no mistake, he has welcomed it. He openly mocked a reporter with a crippling disease. That is just one example. That is why I am extremely hesitant on supporting him and why I spoke out of anger in my last blog post.

2-I know why he won. First of all, the Republicans just mobilized their voters out better. Also, we feel disenfranchised by what we perceive (or somehow expect) that we've "lost our way." To some this means simple things like a nice job, nuclear family, the "American way," etc. To others it means other things, but I am not speaking for those idiots. They I feel are a minority in the overall label of the RIGHT. That is another thing: I detest labels. They divide us. Sometimes we don't even know the definition of them and just use them as buzz words. We use them because we like to categorize and box things up. But we cannot categorize either the right or the left according to their extremes. Let's not label each other, but we cannot stop talking.

3-Its funny how people are "annoyed" about this event. They just want a return to the beautiful distractions and stick their head in the sand. (Amusing themselves to death) But I think its been good because we are talking and having the conversations we have needed to have for way too long. But we don't need to be dragging people out of cars and beating the shit out of them. We also don't need to give hate a voice. But I think it does us well to shine a spotlight on who is saying and doing these awful, racist, sexist things. Its out in the open now and we can educate and deal with it... in others and ourselves. We must evolve and let those who stand in the way know that this is not who we are and who we want to be.

Lastly,

4-We need focus, compassion and unity. We cannot simply abandon all hope. We cannot just move somewhere else and ignore the problem. We cannot let the terrorists within OURSELVES, win. We also must keep our representative, Mr. Trump, accountable. We want him to lead us and keep the promises he keeps because we hope he respects the office of the president. We cannot support when he tweets at celebs at 3am. He's 70 years old. He must be beyond these type of things. It is also up to us to take care of each other locally. Do not let racism, sexism reign. Shut it down. Stand tall. Use our voice. Keep going, because we will prevail.

The one main thing that is coming from this event: GOOD ART. I know there will be great comedy written about this and what is to come. There will be good music. Paintings. Movies. Books. Comics... everything will be a reaction to this. It will make us think. There are many examples of pieces of art throughout history that has helped usher in a change of mind on things. Its our job to keep making good art. Whatever it is that we do, make it art and do it well.

For my part, I want to be a part of this unity. We all need to join the movement. To better ourselves and the environment around us. I am a peaceful man at heart and I just want to be on the side of evolving the concepts and ourselves in the process. I hope you all will join me in this unity. Join me in this compassion. Join me in focusing on what we need to do to better ourselves. Or else our history, and future, is doomed.

__________________________________

There, I got that out. Some other stuff:

My dad came to visit last week. When he did I drove up north to my old town of Mt. Pleasant to meet him and my brothers, niece and-sister in-law for lunch. It was nice seeing them. However I got to drive Kitty D around my old home town and show her things around there for the first time. Most of my sentences were: "This used to be right there, but now its gone." It became disheartening. The town is a shell of what I remember. It saddened me. We have such a romanticized vision of our childhoods and old homes and what used to be. I miss how that place felt. So it goes.

We lost Leonard Cohen this week. And Robert Vaughn. Everyday I wake up, something I dig is slowly going away. It makes me think of my friend Caleb who I lost this year. I'm sure you remember me talking about it. Its been a few months but every day that goes by I think about him. I keep telling the same stories. I didn't know him longer than a year. But I hear other people tell stories and I think, "Yeah, that sounds like him!" I drink shots to him every time I open a bottle. He's joined the people who have left this world behind and its always on my mind.

I don't Facebook as much anymore. 95% of my activity is surrounded on my twitter, blog and podcast now. Its been a good thing to quiet some of the noise. It hasn't brought me any sort of newfound spark in productivity, but it is a start.

The trailer for Trainspotting 2 was released and it was awesome! The new Neal Morse album is out. I ordered it but it hasn't arrived yet. Soon I hope. The NES Classic was released but everywhere was sold out. I'm not bowing to scalpers on ebay for it, so I will wait my turn.Newest buys are STAR TREK: ORIGINAL SERIES on Blu-ray ($70 box set, found for $20! Score!!) A few random Blu-rays and DVDs. A couple books on the NES as well. I got some good finds to keep me occupied for the winter.

Okay, I promised pics of my new couch and kitten, so here we go:

Yes, I bought a new couch... FINALLY! We needed one badly. Its red to match my future house plans. Its comfy as fuck and I love it!

But I guess the biggest change in my house is we got this girl:

As of this writing, she doesn't have a name yet.  She's VERY lovable, playful and purrs constantly around us. Of course she's adjusting to living in a new place, but she is getting there. We adopted her today from a pet adoption event.

Since I moved to this new place, I've wanted to get a cat. I've been hesitant on getting a new feline pet because some of the ones I've had in the past were so memorable, I just didn't want to try anymore. Like it wasn't fair to their memories or something. But in the end, its what I wanted and I'm glad I made the choice. Its only been a day but she's been a very positive addition to our lives. We love her so much.

Anyway, life rolls on and so do we. If we all keep our small corner of the world clean and keep working hard on ourselves and our works, that is all that matters.

Cheers, T

Family Weekend

 Hello friends!

Had a busy week here in the Talley house. My dad came to visit starting on Wednesday. Then he went up north to visit my brothers. I went up Friday and we all had lunch together. Kind of a rarity to get any of us all together anymore! It was nice to do. Then dad came back here to Lansing on Saturday and spent the day with my boys. We all had a massive sleep over. To my surprise it all worked out quite well! The boys were happy to see their grandpa. He left this morning for southern Illinois. It was great to have him here. I miss him very much when we are so far apart in distance like we are. He's doing ok. Coping with what he has got. We had a few deep deep deep conversations about all things spiritual, mental and emotional. When you can connect with your parent on that level, its a real treat.

I introduced James to the wonders of listening to music with headphones. I think he's addicted!

James and grandpa got real close I think: 

Its been an exhausting weekend. Emotional. Lots of juggling. But it was good. I made everyone hamburgers. Then today I made pork chops and mashed potatoes. We all ate hearty. I got James a brand now toy vacuum to add to his obsession. I didn't get to relax much. But later on after everyone left, my pal Jeff came out and we got some lead onto some paper. I eventually dozed off for a mini nap and now I'm up drinking a few and doing some odds and ends.

Good news so far this week is that I got another full story for the Patreon penciled. I am down 6 pounds on the new diet. I'm getting through some things. But things are looking brighter here. Every day brings progress.

Anyway, lets tackle this next week and see what happens. Come what may.

Cheers, T

Life Progress

Welcome back my friends.

There's so much bullshit going on in the world right now. Yet another controversy in comics (guy drew girl too sexy again... how dare they), politics basically imploding (she did/sad, he said/they wont/will) and man, I'm just tired of all of it. Really sick of it. Every time I plug in, I just get dragged down by whats going on out there. I'm better off when I have my head in the sand and I am far away from all of it. So I forsee another break from social media. I cannot trust myself. Maybe this time, it might stick.

I got stuff I'm working on anyway. I am starting a major fruit/veggie fast this week. Its going to be tough but it has to be done. I'm busy working on Starslam 3 stuff, Patreon stuff, writing things, sketchbook works and other creative outlets. At least those things can distract me and always make me happy. I've tapped back into free form thought, writing and sketching in my large sketchbook. Check it:

Its rare that I share my journal/sketchbook randoms in this blog so enjoy that peek. Some dark shit goes on in there. I've done those books since I was in high school. They are my therapy.

The work on Starslam 3 continues. I scanned a bunch of new pages (about 22) and got them ready for coloring. Here's a scene where Starslam and Tara begin some flirting while working out. Hmmm....

This past Saturday I had my last signing appearance of the year (or ever?) at Summit Comics in downtown Lansing. Some friends dropped by and it was good to see them. I sold a few prints and books and did a quick cover commission of Neegan for a book:

I haven't shared much about the upcoming Patreon campaign. But the work is in progress. Here's a SFW non-spoilery look at what I'm doing so far for it. 

So that's the workload on the creative side. On the dayjob, things are ramping up to the busy season so I am looking forward to some major overtime (I hope). I need to save for several things for next year. Yet another move, and to get my boys jointly. I will need to buy furniture, clothes and other things to prepare for their days living with me. Little James is growing up so much:

This week they went trick or treating... Dressed as Superman and Spiderman! I won't attempt to tell them that such a team up would never happen in comics, but whatever! It seems like they had a good time:

James ridin' with his school crush.

Other than that, I am drifting through these somber days and trying to right my ship. I just gotta keep creating, keep ignoring the bullshit of the world, and get myself fit (mentally and physically). There's a lot of changes happening for sure. Its a scary time. But I will get through it like I always have. I have things to look forward to: My dad is coming to visit this weekend. I reserved my hotel for Horrorhound next year. I'm super excited about Thanksgiving and Christmas this year. Kitty D and I have already made our lists and checked em 300 times. That NES retro thingie is coming soon. I'm toying with maybe getting a PS4 at some point during or after the holidays. Maybe treat myself for the hard work on the dieting and changes happening.

As always, onward and upward... to ALL of us!