RIP Professor. Neil Peart

Im sitting at work sad as fuck. Neil Peart is gone.

My two closest friends texted me within five minutes when the news broke. Dean, who has been a lifelong Rush fan hit me with the news first. We saw Rush together on their last tour in 2015. A couple minutes later Shane, my lifelong brother in life and music, texted me the news. They both knew how I would feel. They both share a deep love of music with me and an even deeper understanding of what this loss means.

Neil Peart wasn’t just a rock drummer. He is probably considered to be the greatest drummer who ever picked up the sticks. That is a debate, considering your own preference and musical interests. But any rock musician would put him in the top of their lists of influence. His methods, perfection and skill is absolutely beyond estimation. But Neil wrote all the Rush lyrics. So those words, were influenced by all sorts of fantasy and literature, who did comparisons with history and the psyche. All of it was from him. And the lyrics had substance. It went beyond just kicking ass and chasing chicks. Its not common in rock radio to be talking about integrity and honesty in a radio hit (Spirit of the Radio). Or even breaking down a love of a motor car (Red Barchetta). Or using history as a parable for a futuristic story about humans enslaves by aliens, inspired by German concentration camps that his bandmate’s family endured (Red Sector A). Or fuck, the granddaddy of them all: rebuttal of a totalitarian society who controlled and subdued creativity per potential rebellion, and it was a comment on their current state in their industry as artists (2112).

The examples go on and on. For me, i connected with lyrics about just wanting to be the cool kid in school, when I wasn’t (Subdivisions). And knowing you have to work hard to make your dreams come true (Something for Nothing). But today, i’m thinking about Neil, his life and the life of those whom I hold dear in my life and whom I share a love of music with. Its a garden to nurture and protect (The Garden).

Im sitting at work, devastated. Ive cried a lot today. Im sitting in silence. I want to turn on some Rush from my phone, but I don’t even know where to start. I’m not sure I can right now. I know it would turn me into a blubbering mess. Its yet another thing that changes for me as I grow older. You love a musician or an actor or an artist. They die, then you come back to the work and see it in a different way. Sad that its the end and you now have a complete body of their work, knowing nothing else will come from them. Amazed and sad at their work and performance, because it means so much to you. You use their art to define you and who you are. Like when I watch Star Trek now, I cry. Because I love those folks and miss them. He same it shall be now for Rush. I won’t hear it the same way again.

But most of all, I am grateful to have lived during the lifetime of those whose work spoke to me. Im grateful they gave me their art and grateful for who they were. Neil was a great man. A monster musician. A monster writer. And a humble, quiet, peaceful person. He endured the sudden loss of his daughter to a car accident, the loss of his wife to cancer and found happiness in continuing. He leaves behind a daughter who will have to find her own way now to cope without him. And he was so humble that even when he is considered the greatest, he cared enough about his craft that he re-learned how to play with teacher Fred Gruber. He changed his style and made himself better, without ego. That shows how much he cared and wanted to continue to grow and learn. He didn’t crave the attention or the limelight, in fact he ran out of the stadium after the last cymbal crash  to avoid it. He came,  he played and he gave it all to us. The best. The greatest. And he showed us how to be a great person.

This loss is incalcuable. For me on a personal level, it is devastating. I will not be the same again. RIP Maestro. The Professor. Thank you, beyond words.

“The treasure of a life is a measure of love and respect.
The way you live, the gifts that you give.
The measure of a life is a measure of love and respect.
So hard to earn, so easily burned.
In the fullness of time,
A garden to nurture and protect.”

—The Garden. RUSH off of CLOCKWORK ANGELS. Lyrics by Neil Peart. RIP

How I Spent My New Years

Hello friends!

Well, we've made it. We're on the other side to good ol' 2017. Where it will be all safe,no good celebrity deaths and filled with cotton candy kisses, chocolate rainbows and fluffy kittens, right? Lets hope so!

For me, I didn't have that eventful of a New Years' Eve. We had planned to go out but I ended up having to get the kids early the next day, so I just stayed at home and drank...

Jager and always a chaser. Nice!

The week before I did a nice round of overtime, but I did find some time to do some post Xmas shopping with my lottery wins....

I'll tell you, I'm not a fan of these POP figures but I saw this and I had to have it. People are saying its my gateway drug but I swear this probably will be my only one...... probably.

I got a nice stack of CDs from Replay and FBC in Lansing. Most of these I already own digitally, but I want a physical copy for my new shelf...

I used to have a shelf like this but I parted ways with it when I got rid of my CDs a few years ago. Since then I have grabbed new CDs/music DVDs here and there and haven't had a place to put them... until NOW! But man there's a lot of room for more. I guess I am going to have to go out and grab some more essentials!

My girl enjoying her Xmas present of a Sega Genesis! We also did some Wii Bowling and Harry Potter Lego.

Now that we've crossed the great barrier into the safe zone (being facetious there), its time to get into some new habits. I have started to eat and live healthier. Its going to be a very slow process and no hardcore crash diets type of thing. Its little changes, gradual changes and keeping things rolling. I'm also doing a lot of meditating and reading, as well as other things. I'm taking care of me. That's the important thing.

I am also busy on actual artworking! I'm working hard to get this horror comic/Caleb tribute book out the door. Only about 3-4 pages left to do for it plus a cover. I've given myself until end of this month to finish it but truthfully, I could have it done in a week if I wanted to. Expect a Kickstarter or something for it soon! After this book is done, its full speed ahead on Starslam 3. I did some new Pleasant Life 2 pages last week as well and who knows what else is lurking and not being talked about as much!

I also took some time this week to do some filming for the new VLOG channel! We went a few places and I shot stuff and shot lots of stuff at home to add to what I already got in the can. I got enough material now for about 4-5 Vlogs to start out with. I will launch Vlog #1 this month after I get some small shots done that I need for it. I really am enjoying the creativity of the project. Its part documentary, part home movies, part walkthrough, part comedy... I got this overall arch that I want to do over the course of this year and have planned out "episodes" of it already to wrap around things that are going to come up.

One of my main goals this year is to gather a rhythm for getting things done. I know there are obligations like family and day job that will derail some of this sometimes, but for the most part I am committed to just getting my shit done. And I am not compromising my time or attention to do it. If I have to wall myself up and give out a lot of "No's" to make it happen, so be it. I feel bad but I got commitments to answer to. Mainly to you fine folks! A promise is a promise, so let's get it done!

Anyway, enough treading water. Time to get on it! I hope you had a safe and happy new year. Let's go grab 2017 by the nuts and make it our bitch!

Cheers, T

Sharing Music Vol 3

Its time to share some more music favorites of mine! Here's some of my current stuff on my playlist:


Nick Drake - Northern Sky


Tom Waits - Jersey Girl


Type O Negative - Love You To Death

Four on the Floor - Poisoned Well (MARON TV version)


Foo Fighters - Times Like These


U2 - Medley (Stay, Bad and Where the Streets Have No Name)

Share your favorite music everyday!!!

Luvs, T

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I wasn't going to do this post, but I didn't want to end 2013 here with the downer that was the last posting. It did get a lot of hits though. Thanks very much for coming back and caring to read it. You never know what people are going to care about when you put it out in the world, even when its somethng small like a blog post from your frustrated mind. So I appreciate the hits. Biggest blog reads in a while now. Thanks for that.

I am happy to say that today is another day and after I posted that, I chained myself to my table to get some work done on commissions. And in the last couple days, I pencilled 10 small commissioned adult art pages for a regular client I have. I pencilled them on 8x11, inked and digitally colored most of them. Plus I did a piece I am giving to friends as a wedding present. It would be easy to say "Forget what I said, I'M BACK" but I know that the comfort demon is always right around the corner, ready to rub my shoulders and make me submit. He always wants me to lose my focus.

Some things help. Like seeing others' zeal for their own self-published works. Like BECKY CLOONAN. Also, JOE PEACOCK's writing always seems to be a great source of fuel for me to sip. Lastly, its the knowledge that no, I am not quitting. I never wanted to quit. I just get scared that it would be so easy to. Like the drive has dissapated as I get older, but I can adjust. Thats good to know. Deep in my core, I haven't changed and will not change. And that I take with me into 2014.

On my newest Idiothead Morning Show Podcast (Subscribe HERE for FREE!), I talked about 2013 and going into 2014 with some goals. Not resolutions, but things to look forward to.

1-GET ONLINE STORE GOING AGAIN - My books have been out of print for years now. I need to monotize what I already have and not worry about the next thing until I am taking care of the babies I got. So Anna will get redone. Pleasant Life will be collected and put in one big book. I plan on doing a 20th Anniversary Tshirt and get the Artbook printed finally. Plus more to come. I need to make $ on what I already own. Its important. I feel like a shlub saying I do books when all my books are sold out and I never have any at the shows.

2-CELEBRATE 20 YEARS - I've talked about it repeatedly that 2014 is my 20th year doing comics. I want to celebrate it. Talk about it more. At the cons, have balloons and cake. Show people why I am celebrating and let people know I care enough to celebrate it. I feel like I've earned that.

3-FINISH MY FOUR PROJECTS - First, the Starslam trade... which I only have about 20 more pages to go on it. Then release it online and a tradebook. Then there's TALES of SEQUENTIAL MAYHEM #3. My art is done. Just have to put it all together and launch a Kickstarter in January. That is all rolling. Lastly, my two written books: The short story/poem collection and the "My life working in the Sex Stores" autobiography. I am about 80 pages deep in both and I plan to finish both by March, with a first draft for each at least. The short story one I will likely self publish but I am seeking a publisher for the autobiography. But I am not worrying about that until I have a working draft. But all four things will be released next year. Guaranteed.

4-DISCOVER MORE MUSIC - Continue my vinyl rediscovery but also branch out into new music and keep the fuel going. An easy no-brainer.

5-TREAT MYSELF NICER - Joe Peacock said in his latest blog something I never thought about. He said that "I own myself." Thats true. I own my brain and my body. But I always put myself down and don't take care of myself. Physical, mental. I say these self-depricating jokes as a sort of defense mechanism to feel like I am taking the thunder away from anyone who would be thinking it for me. So no more fat jokes about myself. I've been taking energy vitamins. I'm going to continue that. Cut sugars and make one meal a day a healthy one. Just start slow. No fast food. Can't much anymore because the wife's student loans have caught up to us and we have to start paying on them! So just start with that and transition with the flow. But also with this, just to stop the doubts. Move forward. Keep going. Treat myself nicer. Rebuild confidence. Get louder. Celebrate more. Buy myself the more expensive soap or mouthwash instead of the generic one. Because I celebrate my value on this planet and I deserve it. and thats what I mean about treating myself nicer. Ya dig?

2013 had its strikes and gutters, ups and downs. I'd relist them, but I don't have to. Its behind me and only a fool trips on baggage behind them. I'm moving forward. Take me into your arms, 2014. I'm ready.

Everyone: Thanks for reading and caring to keep coming back to check out my little corner of the world. It means more than you know. Be safe, take care and I know you're going to have a great year!

Peace and love, T

Pieces of Vinyl

When I was in college back in 1999-2004, I used to have quite the vinyl record collection. Even before that, I had vinyl. I was of that age. I wasn't into cassettes in the 80s that much, although some of my first albums I bought were on that format. But I began with vinyl. Mostly storybook or movie soundtracks on vinyl. I aquired some of my mom's vinyl for myself. Stuff like the Beatles, Huey Lewis, Billy Joel and others. My first record player was a Michael Jackson record player with a microphone. It looked like this:

Also in the house, we had a cool record player that lit up with disco lights and for a time in college, this was my player. It looked like this:

After that, It was cassettes from 1987-1993. Not many that were store bought. (My first cassette I ever bought was Whitesnake's self-titled album) I taped things off of the radio. Or I held a recorder up to the TV and recorded things that way. I did join BMG for a bit and get the standard 7 cassettes, buy 2 at double the price in two years and get another one free. In 1994, I got my first CD player with my own money I earned from my first job. I started buying Cds. Before my CD days were over, I owned over 400 CDs. I had bought and sold so many, I forgot how many I had aquired. The two CD stores I hit the most were Warehouse Records and New Moon Records in Mt. Pleasant, MI. (RIP to both)

Around college, I started to collect my favorite albums at the time on vinyl. Why? Just to hang on my wall, mostly. I wanted the shelf porn of it. But then I fell in love with a movie called "HIGH FIDELITY." I saw so much of myself in that movie, so much so that I would rank it in my top 3 favorite films of all time, sometimes feeling like it comes in at Number One with a bullet. I was always doing top 5 lists with my friends, I felt elitist with my music and movie tastes. I was overanalyzing relationships I was in. That movie spoke to me on so many levels. And I decided then and there that since I was such a hardcore music fan, I needed to have a vinyl collection. So I started collecting. And I didn't do it for the rarity or money value on certain pressings and all that. I got records I would actually play. They'd range in price from $2-20 each. I had over 100 pieces of vinyl by the time it ended for me. There was a period of 3-4 years where I listened to vinyl exclusively.

Before my mom died, she purchased one of those old style looking radio record players with a radio/cassette in it. It looked something like this:

I listened to my records on that. I also had a back up player with two external speakers that I used when I lived with my close buddy out in the country. Shortly thereafter, I met my wife, got married and he had to condense our things together. I had taken a job as a graphic artist and was bored to death at work all the time. I would bring stacks of Cds to listen to, and my poor records sat in a box, unable to be played. Ignored. Forgotten.

It was then that I learned of a new invention: The Ipod. I could literally bring every CD and my newly discovered love of Podcasts and talk radio with me everywhere I go, mostly to work, where I'd need it the most. So I began investing in ipods. And each time I got a new computer, my HD would crash or I'd get a new Ipod, I had to spend days reuploading all my music.. CD after CD to the HD of the imac to load up the ipod. It was tedious but I loved doing it. Eventually, move after move made me decide to do the inevitable: I had to sell off my vinyl. I didn't want to, but I never used it. It seemed silly to keep bringing it along. And I had Mp3's now. Easier. So off they went to various record stores in exchange for cash or DVDs I wanted. Or fast food money for my gut expansion. RIP my vinyl collection.

Eventually, I let my Cds go too. It seemed that Mp3 had the same sound quality as the CDs and it was impossible to find space for them all. Having them as files in a computer just made sense. So I sold off about 98% of my CDs. I still have about 25 of them. Mostly newer, special edition or remastered or rare ones. And I'll never get rid of them. And thats how I've lived for the last few years. I've even moved on from ipod to the convenience of having an iphone which now doubles as my ipod.

Still, my love of music tugs at me and makes me feel like I turned my back on it all. I felt not like a "real" music fan. I became envious of other people's collections. I just have that shelf porn mentality that I like a collection and enjoying it. But I've really tried to talk myself out of being like that. It's a brain struggle for me. And for the last few years, I don't listen to music as much as I used to. I have drowned in a sea of podcasts, talk radio and other things. My favorite bands only put out new records every five years or more. It sucks. But now the record companies (to stay alive) put out these remastered special editions and they have lit a fire under me to keep my head in the game I love.

Recently, my pal Shane has got into collecting vinyl and through our conversations, I began to recall how much fuller the sound quality is on the wax discs and how its lost on the digital mix, and its true. When you listen to an mp3, you are only getting about 25-30% of the music that was recorded for that song. You think: Someone set up a mic, recorded each part, the ambiance of the room. Its a capture. A window in time to a moment where music came alive and was created. Thats why its called a "Record." Its a record of an event. And I want to hear everything that was recorded that day, in the way it was intended. Its like seeing each brush stroke in a painting in person. The little things, that a recreation print or .jpg pic on google cannot show you. Mp3s are condensed and mixed down to save file space. In fact, it was created long ago when computers were slower and didn't have as big of memory. Now they do, and Mp3s are still the preferred file format and work with everything. Oh there are other options now like FLAC, but again, its a compatability issue. Mp3s vs. Vinyl, its like watching a movie on youtube. yeah, you can watch it, get the gist and its convenient. But If you saw it on Blu-ray, you'll see color changes, make up effects and other things in crystal clear clarity, the way it was intended to be seen.

Think of it this way also: I love to have things in the best possible form I can have them in. Absolute editions, trades, blu-rays. Everything cleaned up, clear, and in the best way possible. Thats why I rebought a lot of my favorite movies on Blu-Ray. Makes sense that I'd want that for my music, right? Now, records capture and show more sound than Mp3s or Cds can (70% more!). Thats simple math right there. Records are the better format. And the reason they still printed by certain bands is because they know that too. The only people that buy records anymore are "TRUE" music fans. Most others just steal it. (I know that will get me in trouble for saying that, but I think its true. You support the artists you can in the ways you can. If you do steal their music, at least go to their shows or buy a shirt. Help them financially so that they can continue to make music. That goes for any artform, okay?) And the good thing about most new records that are released on Vinyl, they always come with downloadable Mp3 links for free. So that appeases convenience of the modern era and sound quality nerds like myself. 

I'm a nostalgiac dude. Everything I collect is related to something in my past or something I love that reminds me of the past. I love holding books in my hand. I tried reading digitally on iphone or ipad. Its okay. But nothing beats the smell of old ink in a dollar bin comic book and the feeling of looking at the little trophies on the shelf showing what you conquored. Maybe its vanity. Maybe its silly. But its pieces of me, and I love having it. Also, I look at the things I own as an investment. If something were to happen to me, the wife could pawn these things and have money for them. Its better than wasting money as a gambler, or buying more food to fill my ever expanding gut. I'd rather have things to show for my money.

SO: What do I want to collect? I cannot collect EVERYTHING! I am left asking what is most important to me. I come back to music. Music to me is everything. I must have music. I must enjoy music. I must create music. I must celebrate music. And CDs, MP3s just don't do it for me. I need to hear everything. Every demo. Every outtake. Every bit of sound I am meant to hear. I want to experience it in the old ways. The style in which it was created. And I even need to hear the needle sound when it hits that wax disc and starts to spin and play. I need to hold the album and dissect the cover. I need to read the lyrics along with it, taking it all in. THATS how I celebrate music. Thats how I need it to be. For me. For me.

I think back to my early days and how I was happy with vinyl. How the sound effected me. When I didn't look for things in my life to be so convenient and clean. How when I was depressed, I could toss on a Dylan record and clean my house and feel better about it. Having the tiny ear buds in my ear and accidently hitting stop on the iphone in my pocket just doesn't feel the same. I've never liked it. I want the music in the air around me. I want others to hear it. I want my kids to hear it, and know why I love it so much.

All this comes down to a simple mathmatic decision: I'm collecting vinyl again. I want it all back and more. I want to keep celebrating music in my own way. And my way is vinyl. Its an old format, but its the best. They'll never quit making them, so long as us musicophiles exist. And we're not going away anytime soon. I've also come to the realization that my favorite bands are either breaking up, broke up or dead. And nothing much new is coming that excites me like my music eras did. So I will have my favorite albums of those times in the best form I can. And when I am gone, my kids can pawn my vinyl for cigarettes and hookers. OR maybe cue up the needle and drop it on a disc too and see a part of me they never heard before. They can connect with what I hear and feel when I hear my favorite songs and artists. Cause thats what music is to me. A doorway into the soul. And for my soul, I want the best I can get. Not for the trophies or the bragging rights of a shelf of nice vinyl, but the best key I can get to open the doors to the soul.

Hope you enjoyed reading this. Cheers!

P.s. Some of my thoughts on this same vein were talked about in the outstanding documentary called "SOUND CITY." Get it, watch it. Expand on these thoughts. Enjoy.

P.s.s. I currently don't have a vinyl record player. I let my friend borrow my mothers that she gave me, but we have since had a falling out and I am not likely getting that player back. So: I asked "santa wife" for one for Xmas. She will get me one I am sure. Meanwhile, I'm starting the collection now. Preparing.... 

P.s.s.s. The "Pieces of Vinyl" statements here are an inside joke to Stern fans cause Gary Dell'abate from the show refers to his collection as "Pieces of Vinyl" and Howard gave him a ton of shit for it. Now I call it that out of fun.