Goodbye 2019, and it Can Kindly Fuck Off

First off before I begin, allow me to plug. STARSLAM RETURNS (Digital) is now available for purchase and download at my online GUMROAD ACCOUNT. Simply click on the link and purchase. It downloads to you as a pdf. Please enjoy it. I'm quite proud of it.

I did a big wrap of of 2019 in the most recent IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW PODCAST. Please download that and enjoy my best/worst lists and all that. Its free!

One year in the life in our lives is gone and we celebrate the achievements we earned and mourn the losses we had. To sum it up in one sentence: 2019 for me just sucked. It wasn't a great year. I could go on and on about the various bummers and hurt I encountered and dealt with but I am just ready to move on from it all. I'm looking to 2020 to be a clean slate of opportunity to make things better. There are lots of things already planned and lots of things I want to do. I don't have resolutions, but I am calling them resolves.

The usual stuff is on there. Get my health in order, work on my finances, etc etc. But as would interest those in my art world I promote here on my site, I plan to do the following:

--Patreon shall continue and starting in March, I will be premiering PLEASANT LIFE 2 sporatically for all levels of support. From $1 onward, all will get to read that book first! Pages will be uploaded as they are done and will be free for my patron supporters to read.

--New monthly erotica stories will continue for the $8 and up levels on my patreon. Stories and themes already completed include: Ballerinas, bimbos, tennis players, BDSM/Lesbian Domination and much more. Its going to be an exciting time over there for those who like my NSFW content.

--In the spring there will be a new LATE NIGHT SHORTS book on Kickstarter. It collects all the short erotica stories that I have done for the Patreon. Watch out for it. BTW, Patrons of mine get a digital copy of it for FREE!

--Also in the spring, I will relaunch STARSLAM books 1-4 on indiegogo in an effort to draw in more readers. So if you missed a physcial copy of any of those books, look for that.

--Sometime in the fall, I will be finally releasing my "tell all" book about working in adult retail. I've been talking about it for years and now it is time to finally get that book out the door for all of you to read and enjoy.

--I mentioned this previous and I say it again here: After 2020 is over, I will NOT BE TAKING ANY MORE PRIVATE COMMISSION WORK. The only way to get commissions from me is either through a Kickstarter for one of my books (if it is offered) or through my Patreon reward tiers. Only $20 for that one... which is an excellent price considering all you are getting. But after December 31st next year, no more commissions. None. Thank you.

I have a few potential projects on the stove as well. Like a one shot comic done with my colorist. Finishing that Wise Intelligence graphic novel collection. Putting together a new STARSLAM one shot collection of all the side stories plus new ones... There is no telling what is to come in the new year. That is the good thing about it all. Its new and exciting! I know 2020 won't be pie in the sky. Its an election year in one of the most trying times I've ever seen in my lifetime. Seems like everyone is toxic and hates each other for whatever reason. Either over a movie reaction to core morals and fundamentals. We got a lot to slog through. But for my part I am right here with you and I shall strive to keep you titillated and entertained.

I hope all of you have a safe and happy new year. Be safe and keep everyone around you safe. Strangers and friends. We get through this together. Team humans. Team people. Eat,  drink and be merry. Let's die another day.

I have spoken. This is the way.

--T

Last Post of 2015

Hello friends! Its time to do a big recap and wrap-up of what was the year 2015. The year Marty McFly came to the future and we didn't have any fucking flying cars or Jaws 19. But we got a new Star Wars flick! I thought I'd do a run down of the best of the year and give my final thoughts on what happened this year.

Best Albums:
Faith No More, Scott Weiland, Kurt Cobain, David Gilmour, Neal Morse Band, Iron Maiden, Motorhead, Marilyn Manson, Winery Dogs, and GHOST! All of these were in constant spin or stream in some form. Great year for music.

Best Movies:
Avengers 2, Creed, Star Wars 7 but the best by far was MAD MAX: FURY ROAD.

Best in TV:
South Park, Walking Dead, Eric Andre show, Evil Dead. Some other shows I have yet to catch up on.

Sad events/Saying Goodbye to:
Scott Weiland, Leonard Nimoy, Our political saneness (TRUMP), multiple shootings, Terrorism in Paris and the loss of my step-mother, Gloria.

RECAP:

In January, I seperated from my ex-wife and moved into my own place in East Lansing. I worked at Meijer as a cashier and overnight as a gas station clerk. I struggled financially and with time to see my kids. I was also nursing my broken heart and dealing with the death of my step-mom. I went to MSU COMICS FORUM in February and that night had my first date with Misty. She took a shine to me so we continued our relationship. She really has been a stable point in my life and has opened my eyes to a lot of things about myself that still haven't quite sunk in, but I need to hear. I attended Free Comic Book Day at Summit, Cap City Con in Lansing. Also GRASP EXPO in Grand Rapids. In April I got my new car: The Bat Blazer! (Who at the time I write this, his poor battery died! Gotta replace that today) In May I left Mejier (thank Christ) and started at Cap City Reprographics in old town Lansing. In June I went with Mjit and Dean to see RUSH on their final tour. Then I went to see MOTORHEAD and ANTHRAX with CROBOT with Robert. In September I traded Cap City and the Gas Station for a brand new graphic design job and I have been very happy there ever since. In October I was a guest at the GRAND RAPIDS COMIC CON. I also participated in a Halloween Event called MONSTER BASH, and also had a costume party at my house. In November I saw KING DIAMOND with EXODUS in Detroit and went to the Chicago DAYS OF THE DEAD Convention. In December I became a full staff member of my new job and had a great Christmas with my new friends and family.

During this year, I had tons of positive and negative things happen to me. It certainly was the hardest year I have ever went through for a variety of reasons. Sometimes I was on such a deep sense of autopilot, I don't know how I survived. But for as many bad things happened, I had greatness happen as well. It has been a year of healing and soul searching. Refining. Deciding. Rebuilding. Defining. And much of the work is still in progress.

GOALS FOR 2016:
WORK ON MYSELF - Health. Therapy. And other aspects.
FINISH PROJECTS AS I CHOOSE - Starslam 2. And whatever else I feel up to finishing. We'll see.
SAVE SAVE SAVE! My oldest starts college soon. Gotta get ready!
TRAVEL - I got plans to go to a couple new locations this year. Its gonna be a year where I branch out further than I have previous.
LEARN TO RELAX - Stress is literally killing me. I have not taken care of myself this year with working my ass off, lack of sleep, knee problems, foot injury and ulcers. Stress is a major factor in my life and I need to learn to calm down. I am going to the gym and therapy. I am reading more books and taking time out to enjoy dumb things like movies. Its necessary for me to do these things or else I will not be around much longer. I have been in emergency mode all year and its time for me to slow down.

The one thing I learned the most this year is that there is no law forcing you to remain the victim of the past. If you fucked up, or shit got fucked up, you can crawl out. It will take time and all you can rely on is yourself. But your survival instincts take over and you come out. It shows you how strong you are. And it does indeed, get better. So much better.

These are trying times. And I see a lot of my friends unhappy or suffering for one reason or another. It saddens me greatly. Them and to you, I say this:

There comes a time in your life when its time to say "Fuck it. I just don't care anymore, and can't believe I ever did." Its such a liberating thing to achieve that mind-change. It serves us well to get rid of things or feelings that do not serve you. Places, people, items, habits, friendships or relationships. All of these things can be toxic. And we must learn to stop the fight for ourselves. That is called self respect to not put up with bullshit anymore. Walk on. Let it go. Leave it behind. Its all old tired baggage. Stop carrying it. The clothes inside don't fit anymore anyway. All of us here have something we need to let go of. And its just that simple.

Let it go.

Lets make 2016 all about that fresh start. Here's to a happier 2016.

Cheers, T

Of things to come/COMMISSION SALE!

Hey everyone! Welcome to 2015, world of hoverboards, flying cars and the Cubs winning the world series! Things have been mega-busy in my life. Mostly personal. I haven't put much pen to paper in a bit, other than working on these AVENGERS cards I gotta get done by this weekend. Mostly I've been trying to secure long-term employment in an effort to relocate myself for my wife and I's upcoming seperation. Or do they call it joyously uncoupling now? I forget. Anyway, no worries. Everything is okay and we're very civil to each other. But it is an emotionally heart-wrenching time for all of us here. She's moving on to her life and I am moving on to mine. On my end, I have the greatest disadvantage. I have to secure TWO full time jobs in order to make ends meet. I have no furniture or anything really to start a new life. I got boxes of collectibles and books that isn't worth tossing on ebay, and my clothes. Thats it. So the next coming weeks will be about me trying to make as much money as possible through jobs and freelance work so that I can get some savings built up and get things like a couch, bed and a TV. It will take time.

Wanna help? There's a great way to do it, and just in time for TAX TIME!!!!!! I know you'll start getting your tax returns toward the end of this month. Or maybe your Xmas presents sucked balls. Either way, I am here to help! Help me out and I'll help you out!

I am taking commissions once again. 8x11 is $25. 11x17 is $50. Add $10 for color to each. Anything you want drawn (even nudity... ESPECIALLY nudity!) I can do it! Just hit me with an email at phymns@yahoo.com and we can discuss what you want done. I take paypal and it will all go to help fund my new apartment/life fund! Believe me, I appreciate it. I will also be unearthing sketch cards and AP cards I got laying around and tossing them up for sale. Also I got my STARSLAM books back from the mail. So I will be working on those and mailing all those out after my big move next week or so. And in the coming weeks, I plan to hopefully push for a digital download sale of ALL my comics and artbooks! Look for that in the future. But for now, if you want art, now's the time to order some from me! It would be about a month turnaround time for a piece BTW. Lots to juggle right now, but you would be a priority. Just keep that in mind.

This week I got a night job as a gas station clerk. And I am up for a part time (moving into full time) position at Meijer. I got a few other applications out though, so we'll see where the chips fall. I also found an apartment today. I still have some issues as far as my lease signing goes, but I think that will all be cleared up by Monday at the latest I think. Then next week I gotta help the wife move into her place and I gotta move into mine. Its gonna be a definite juggle, especially with the kids. So BUSY!!!!!!!!!! Its gonna be nutty. But we'll make it and then we're off into the sunset on our new respective adventures. Its exciting, but scary. This will be my first apartment that I've ever lived in, ALONE. I've always had roommates, or relationships to share the space and bills. This time, I'm solo. It will be good for me to rock it solo so I can spend some time getting reaquainted with myself, but also to sort out some things I need to sort out. Also I plan to stay busy with my jobs and artwork. Then I will still see my kids too. Its just a whole different way of doing things. But it will be okay. I know it will be. It kinda sucks because I remember my first apartment with my old buddy Jon. We lived in a 2 bedroom spacious apartment for $595. Now I got a one bedroom place for $575. Of course, that was in 1996 when I had that place, and I do live in our state's capital. But still, interesting... as well as SCARY! I just hope the job situation stays good and I can get ahead on all my bills.

Anyway, thats about it for an update. Next time I update I will be doing so from my new home office. My new home. My home alone. Scary. Exciting. Weird. Sad. Happy. Determined.

Much love to you all, and PLEASE ORDER SOME COMMISSIONS! I can't wait to put lead to paper again. Help me get rolling on it all!

Cheers, T

A Little More on the Pile...

Boy this year is off to a great stop! First off, we get the info that we now have to pay back the wife's college loans, which is a financial hit on us, considering its a slow quarter for me, Freelance-wise. Then my dad has a heart attack and all sorts of complications and is still in the hospital with possible demensia. The wife has a work irritance that will not subside over something so insignificant but because of a bitch, she's in constant fear of being let go. A couple freelance gigs I thought I'd have that would drastically help me pay for 2014 con travels and printings have fell through, putting a big question mark on all of it. I cannot afford to print anything I want or pre-pay for tables or travels. The kids have been acting out and its gotten insane. My workflow is all off now that the kid monopolizes the computer room and I get no work done during the day. Thus, I am behind on everything. The weather sucks my balls through a coffee straw (one of the coldest winters I can ever remember). And now the kicker: A couple weeks ago we noticed baby James' testes were getting swollen. I thought it was nothing but the doctor said its a sac of fluid collecting in that area. Quite common and easy to fix. Just needle in and drain. But after seeing a specialist we've determined that poor James has a chamber in his body that normally closes as the body grows, but his did not. So its leaking all sorts of stuff into this sack near his sack. Also he has a hernia. So this means hospitalization and operation. Our insurance sucks and we got a $10,000 deductible. So we gotta pay for the whole thing out of pocket, pretty much. We've looked into expanding our coverage, but its waaaaaay too much to do on our income. So we're looking into other options, like the affordable health care. We'll see. All this shit and January isn't even over!

Boy oh boy!

When you start off a new year, you have dreams of what you are going to beat and accomplish. And all this month it seems the torpedos have come at me full spread. Its really gotten to me and I am hanging by a thread at times. I'm snapping a bit and I could use a nice breather.

The good news is this: The wife and I are having a monthly date night once again. We really need it. We need to get away and explore ourselves again. Our relationship sometimes goes on autopilot while dealing with our daily lives. Also, we've both been really good at eating better and exercising. I joined a gym. I'm under calories everyday. That feels damn good. I'm pretty basic work at the moment but its a definate start. No fast food. Making better decisions. Vitamins. Working out. I feel better. My mind is more active. I have more energy. I'm not run down and tired all the time.

Also, I've kept working when I could. I've done some more Starslam strips. I scanned in all new art and done little things around the house and office that needed to be done. I deep cleaned and straighted things around that needed it. Including myself. I finished a card set. I done some commissions. I'm working. I keep at it. I keep punching back.

I am just taking each torpedo that is shot at me and letting it bounce off of me as best I can. Come what may, I know I can take it. Cause like Rocky VI said (and its one of my favorite movie quotes of all time): "The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you're hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done!"

Sappy, but true. Call it a personal mantra. Whatever is knocking you down in life, fight back. Never give up the fight. Its what we're here for.

Gotta Fly Now.

T

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I wasn't going to do this post, but I didn't want to end 2013 here with the downer that was the last posting. It did get a lot of hits though. Thanks very much for coming back and caring to read it. You never know what people are going to care about when you put it out in the world, even when its somethng small like a blog post from your frustrated mind. So I appreciate the hits. Biggest blog reads in a while now. Thanks for that.

I am happy to say that today is another day and after I posted that, I chained myself to my table to get some work done on commissions. And in the last couple days, I pencilled 10 small commissioned adult art pages for a regular client I have. I pencilled them on 8x11, inked and digitally colored most of them. Plus I did a piece I am giving to friends as a wedding present. It would be easy to say "Forget what I said, I'M BACK" but I know that the comfort demon is always right around the corner, ready to rub my shoulders and make me submit. He always wants me to lose my focus.

Some things help. Like seeing others' zeal for their own self-published works. Like BECKY CLOONAN. Also, JOE PEACOCK's writing always seems to be a great source of fuel for me to sip. Lastly, its the knowledge that no, I am not quitting. I never wanted to quit. I just get scared that it would be so easy to. Like the drive has dissapated as I get older, but I can adjust. Thats good to know. Deep in my core, I haven't changed and will not change. And that I take with me into 2014.

On my newest Idiothead Morning Show Podcast (Subscribe HERE for FREE!), I talked about 2013 and going into 2014 with some goals. Not resolutions, but things to look forward to.

1-GET ONLINE STORE GOING AGAIN - My books have been out of print for years now. I need to monotize what I already have and not worry about the next thing until I am taking care of the babies I got. So Anna will get redone. Pleasant Life will be collected and put in one big book. I plan on doing a 20th Anniversary Tshirt and get the Artbook printed finally. Plus more to come. I need to make $ on what I already own. Its important. I feel like a shlub saying I do books when all my books are sold out and I never have any at the shows.

2-CELEBRATE 20 YEARS - I've talked about it repeatedly that 2014 is my 20th year doing comics. I want to celebrate it. Talk about it more. At the cons, have balloons and cake. Show people why I am celebrating and let people know I care enough to celebrate it. I feel like I've earned that.

3-FINISH MY FOUR PROJECTS - First, the Starslam trade... which I only have about 20 more pages to go on it. Then release it online and a tradebook. Then there's TALES of SEQUENTIAL MAYHEM #3. My art is done. Just have to put it all together and launch a Kickstarter in January. That is all rolling. Lastly, my two written books: The short story/poem collection and the "My life working in the Sex Stores" autobiography. I am about 80 pages deep in both and I plan to finish both by March, with a first draft for each at least. The short story one I will likely self publish but I am seeking a publisher for the autobiography. But I am not worrying about that until I have a working draft. But all four things will be released next year. Guaranteed.

4-DISCOVER MORE MUSIC - Continue my vinyl rediscovery but also branch out into new music and keep the fuel going. An easy no-brainer.

5-TREAT MYSELF NICER - Joe Peacock said in his latest blog something I never thought about. He said that "I own myself." Thats true. I own my brain and my body. But I always put myself down and don't take care of myself. Physical, mental. I say these self-depricating jokes as a sort of defense mechanism to feel like I am taking the thunder away from anyone who would be thinking it for me. So no more fat jokes about myself. I've been taking energy vitamins. I'm going to continue that. Cut sugars and make one meal a day a healthy one. Just start slow. No fast food. Can't much anymore because the wife's student loans have caught up to us and we have to start paying on them! So just start with that and transition with the flow. But also with this, just to stop the doubts. Move forward. Keep going. Treat myself nicer. Rebuild confidence. Get louder. Celebrate more. Buy myself the more expensive soap or mouthwash instead of the generic one. Because I celebrate my value on this planet and I deserve it. and thats what I mean about treating myself nicer. Ya dig?

2013 had its strikes and gutters, ups and downs. I'd relist them, but I don't have to. Its behind me and only a fool trips on baggage behind them. I'm moving forward. Take me into your arms, 2014. I'm ready.

Everyone: Thanks for reading and caring to keep coming back to check out my little corner of the world. It means more than you know. Be safe, take care and I know you're going to have a great year!

Peace and love, T