Slurpees and Popsicles!

Hey friends! 

 

I have had a busy time as usual. Work, artwork, sleep, family, repeat. But I have been making some progress! 

 

I chatted with my STARSLAM 3 colorist to see if he is on board to color STARSLAM 4 and he is in! So there is good news once again. I will be sending him some pages pretty soon. Also I have been working very hard to get caught up with commissions. I just gotta letter a 5 pager and finish art on an 8 pager and then I am finally caught up. Although a couple other guys want me to do a few more story based ones. The money, is good, to be honest. I need to be paying off my stuff and making up for some of the purchases I have been doing lately.

 

To be honest, I've gone a bit overboard. I'm not in trouble, but just went a tad crazy on the pre-orders. So I am curbing it for the rest of the summer. No seriously! There is a CD/Vinyl show here in town tomorrow and I am not going. So its that serious! HA! 

 

I'm joking, kids. I'm all good. Just want to get my card paid back down before the holidays come around. Also I got the big show in Mt. Pleasant in October to save for. I've been working very hard to juggle everything. But the last month or so we've dealt with some depression and my oldest son came for a visit, so we did some spending. Its okay. Life is happening! It all good. Health is better too. I am lower in weight than I originally thought I would be. So that is always a good thing. 

 

The sad news is that I don't think me doing TWO Kickstarters in Aug/Sept is logical or doable. I'm just not that caught up yet. But I want to get STARSLAM 4 really rocking and then launch the Kickstarter for that. I think... I am not sure which way to go. I penciled some killer new pages for that comic this week. I can't wait for you all to see this thing! 

 

But the work on everything continues and the PATREON is nice and caught up all the way to November. I got 5 other stories for it beyond that in various stages of development. All references are pulled and things are happening. But I gotta get these commissions and STARSLAM 4 rolling more before I can focus on those. But to be good and far enough ahead on it is a great thing! I got the comics all scheduled all the way to September. I just need to word balloon and upload the comics beyond that. I need a nice couple quiet days of solid productivity to get it done. Here's hoping!

 

Last week my oldest son visited. We took the opportunity to take a photo of me with all three of my boys. I think its one of the best pics I've ever taken. (And I hate pics of me!) Here it is: 

 

 

 

Handsome group, don't ya think? I think so! I'm proud of all three of them. 

 

Anyway, just giving an update to say that I am working hard and being quiet because of the productivity. Believe me, soon you will all get sick of hearing from me! 

 

Till next time, stay cool, eat them slurpees and down those popsicles! 

 

--T

Saying Goodbye

This morning I got the call that I knew would come. The inevitible call. My step-mom Gloria passed away peacefully in her sleep. She had been in the hospital for the last couple weeks. She fought right till the end. It was her way.

I met her under the weirdest circumstances almost fifteen years ago. I had just lost my mother to cancer. I was devestated and not ready. My dad and her connected because her and my mom were friends. Their phone conversations increased and they began to see each other as friends and then more. She had just lost her husband to cancer not too long before my mom passed. They shared grief. My dad had his twilight years that he was owed with my mom taken away from him. He had found stability and comfort in a friend and it developed.

I'm ashamed to say now, but at the time this all happened.... I wasn't ready. Things moved too fast for me. They married quickly and I didn't attend the wedding. I was asked, but I refused. I just couldn't. I was in a spot where I felt it was just too soon for me. But thankfully in time, I got over myself. I got to know her. Gloria and I had some deep, deep, deep conversations over the years. I found that I came to respect her, love her and look forward to talking to her every time she called. She was a woman of honor. She earned your respect. And she was one hell of a great cook.

She had a very hard life. She raised three kids on her own. One of them died in a tragic accident. She battled breast cancer, MS, being overweight, COPD and a slew of other health problems. Early on, she was given a dire diagnosis that she wouldn't live another two years. That two years became another 14. She was a fighter. She never gave up. Never rested. She was always up doing things and taking care of things. She loved it. And she loved my father. She said several times that she loved me as though she gave birth to me. She was there to support me in my toughest times, even most recently. I needed her and her calls to strengthen me. We spent hours on the phone together. Sometimes I hated that I unloaded all my grief onto her. But she was my great ear. She listened and gave great advice. No matter how heavy my load was, she wanted to help me carry it.

In time, I gave her a title. The most honorary title I could give another person in this life. I called her "Mom." Early on, I went out of my way to say "Dad and Gloria." Sometimes I do. But sometimes I slip and I call her mom. I sent her Mother's Day cards, Called her on that day. It was a title I felt she earned. She deserved it and my respect. And I was glad to give it to her. She's told me about some of the things she's had to deal with in her life and I cannot even fathom it. It took a lot to take her down. And even in the end, when the diagnosis was dire and she was given less than a day to live, she spat in death's face and made it even farther than that. Her will never broke. Not even slightly.

I had the privelege of going down last week and saying goodbye to her. It was a hard trip to make for a variety of reasons. But I am glad I went. I got to speak to her briefly. I could barely hear what she was saying to me. I'd make out a word here and there. But really, I didn't need to hear every word. Sometimes, you just know what needs to be said without words. I told her that I'm never gonna make another pot of homemade chicken and dumplings without thinking of her. A few years ago, she gave me her grandma's rolling pin. Thats what I make them with. The receipe she showed me. I am now a master level chef at them. When I make them and I see someone take that first bite of them and realize how awesome they are... its a great feeling. Immediately they want to know they are made. And I am glad to share it. Cause thats what you do with something good in life. You share it. Her dumplings live on. Just like her love of life. She shared it too.

She also showed me how to fry chicken. and bake a pie from scratch. She'd read my books and tell me what she thought of them. Years before I ever broke into anything with my comics she told me something. I remember the conversation well.

"You're gonna make it," She said. She'd tell me that every time I saw her. And I did. In my own way. But I never could have done it without her support and encouragement. In my art, in my life, she's always been there for me. And once again, I am faced with a harsh reality that I cannot pick up the phone and call my mom to talk to her. I've lived through this twice now. Its a shitty feeling. There are rough days ahead, especially for my dad. I feel for him so deeply, having to go through this twice now. I cannot even imagine. But he'll get through it. We all will have to. Cause thats what she woulda done. And she woulda screamed back loudly at the universe. "Come at me with what you got!" A true fighter til the end. Where every other part of her body failed and slowly faded away, the last thing she had was her heart. It never left her. And it will never leave us. And I will gladly carry it with me, always.

RIP Mom. I'll miss you.

____

The fleeting winds of time flying through each day
All the things I should've done but time just slipped away
Remember seize the day
Life goes by in the blink of an eye with so much left to say

These were the best of times, I'll miss these days
Your spirit lit my life each day

--Dream Theater "The Best of Times" 

Mind Sauce at 10pm

A blog to fill the void.

The Morning Show contest is over. I have recorded my 300th episode and have uploaded it. Thanks to everyone who listen and who entered. It means the world to me that you keep coming back to the podcast and to here, and still care about what I have to say to the world. I hope I entertain you for the brief periods that I am reaching out to you with these things.

I have been emerging from my long summer of woe and I am now creating in the vaccuum again. I know in the end I can emerge next year with new books and a few appearances here and there. But once again it feels lonely. Also coupled with the fact that the wife is gone out of town for the last few and the next few weeks for job training. Man this new company is thorough! And I was told that if she was promoted again to the store manager position that they train them in Arkansas for 12 weeks. Yikes. All for the greater good.

The kids are doing great and Scott seems to be improving with his writing. Cooperation, not so much. Potty training is still an issue. James meanwhile is kicking ass at everything. He says 5-6 word sentances now and its a weird thing to have a kid around who talks and interacts. I'm glad I have that now, even though at times it can be too much. He is so genuinely curious and creative. He creates things on my walls in crayon. Yippie.

All I have before me are plans. Various notes and quick napkin sketches I've made during my "down time" for when I knew I would emerge from the depression cave and into the productive cave. It is quite overwhelming. BUT- a good feeling, to know that I didn't lose the idea that I WOULD emerge. I WOULD come back to it all. I dabbled here and there with things, but nowhere near my usual schedule. I still am not up to 100%. This new life has me adjusting things all over. But I am coping. I'm still in this race.

The dieting is going well. I am now on solid water only and loving it. For a long time I was putting these KoolAid singles packets in every bottle. But today I downed 4 things of water. I'm trying out some various hot teas as well. I'm starting daily treadmill work. Dropping 30 pounds in 3 months is a solid start. But I had the geniune health scare this week and my dizziness continues. Its not so bad today though. I am working on getting my blood pressure numbers back to normal range. It will be an ongoing battle, one I am determined to win.

I got the 2015 and beyond plans written down and a personal goal timeline to do. Off to do it. Thanks for caring folks. I'll be back!

Cheers, T

The Passion of the Clerk

That is me lately. Slummin' it as a clerk at a gas station late nights. Its helping connect the dots a bit better though. But it certainly fucks with my schedule. I knew it would. But it is a necessary evil for the moment. But good news abounds lately in our home as the wife has some great things coming up for her, which sets in motion long dormant plans and dreams of ours. So I have the light at the end of the tunnel that if we both work hard now, we will emerge waaaaaaaaay better off when the time comes. So for now, I shall choke down the poo sammich I got on my plate.

Actually, its not all that bad. The job is easy enough. I get along with everyone I think. But juggling the sleep schedule and the kids can be a bit gruesome. But its all worth it in the end, I know. Just gotta keep my eyes on the prize.

Something special happened this week. My parents came up for a visit. Last January, my dad had a heart attack, stroke and was in the hospital in a coma. Although very scary and the familiar fears set in, I just knew that he would be okay. That his time just isn't up. Also, my step-mom is battling cancer, but she certainly doesn't show it. The cancer is shrinking and she's remaining extremely positive. But its hard to make an 8 hour drive to visit all of us kids with juggling tons of doctor's visits and other things they got going on, plus our hectic schedules. But this week the planets aligned and they arrived. They showered our home with gifts for the kids' upcoming birthdays and our wedding anniversary. They even watched the house for a night so the wife and I could get out alone... a rarity in our lives! We just window shopped at a couple grocery stores and then had late night breakfast like we used to do back in college. It was nice to enjoy my wife's company, alone. Another tiny gift from my parents.

We'll see them again this next week. Right now they are up visiting my brothers an hour north of me. I am going to go up there on Thursday so we can all be together for a bit. Again, a rarity for all of us to be in one place at the same time. But when my folks left here and headed up north, Gloria sent me this pic of dad:

He's smiling while talking about the visit they just had at our place. While I know the kids can be loud and money is tight here so we can't take THEM out to show them a good time, he still had great fun and was happy to have came to visit. Its indescribable what this picture means to me. It hasn't been easy for my dad this year. He's been through some hell with his own health, but now down 85 pounds. His wife is fighting cancer. And there has been some major major major drama in the family I won't get into. But one that really has to cut him beyond deep, financially and personally. I couldn't imagine dealing with it all like he is. But here he is, smiling.... just after seeing us here, and heading up to see his other kids, enjoying every second of life he has before him. I wish I had this pic back in January when he was in the hospital. To know that very soon, I'd see my dad upright and feeling good and he'd be smiling again. The back pain is not there and his worries are melting away with his joy over his family. I'm going to get this one blown up and keep it in a great place.  Its a candid photo she snapped and he didn't know it was happening. Its as genuine a shot as you can get and I won't forget it.

Meanwhile, here's some newer pics of James and Scotty:

Scott-bot starts kindergarten this year. He's making excellent progress. James is talking non-stop and we're excited about his progress as well. Its most certainly likely that he does not have autism like his brother and we get the joy of two unique journeys of life with them. Its so early in the game and I am going to enjoy the ride. I hope one day I'll have a pic of me smiling like that at almost 70 years old, reflecting on my visit with my kids like the one I got above.

But for now, I am focusing on whats before me. Getting the medical debt gone. Saving for the dream house. Finishing all my projects. Losing weight and getting mentally healthy. Its going to take a while, I know. But I am way better today than I was a month ago. I'm enjoying life and learning to smile again. The things that should anger me, simply don't anymore. I just don't care. Reconnecting with my old self... its a great thing. Hello old friend. I'm glad to see you never left. :)

This year is starting to turn itself around, thank creation. Just wait til you see whats coming from the seeds I'm planting today.....

Cheers, T

Jake R.I.P.

Just before the show this weekend, I got the call from the wife that our beloved cat Jake wasn't getting better and the best option was to end his suffering. It was a painful decision and the effects of his loss is still one that we will be processing for some time.

The wife got him in 2001 shortly before we met. And he was with us every step through our lives of meeting, getting married, every move, every new addition to the family, kids, jobs, etc. He was always my favorite of the furry guys and I am deeply saddened by his death. Its going to take a while to sink in but now that I am home after the long weekend of the show, I'm starting to feel it a bit. He was a valued member of our family and will definitely be missed. We had him cremated and will keep his ashes next to a big pic of him. His spirit will always be here, eating food and making us feel loved. Some pics to remember him: