Tuesday, May 30, 2017

Back to the Grind and a Confession

Hey friends,

Well, Vacation week is over. It doesn't seem like it should be, but it is. I worked very hard for this last week and now its gone. I did a lot, saw a lot of people I never get to see, got comic work done, reading done, went to the movies (saw SNATCHED. Not bad), Had TV marathons, went out to dinner, deep talking with friends, played video games, napped, cleaned, petted kitties, got drunk, jammed on music, drew 5 pages, lounged out in front of air conditioner, ate a shit-ton of crappy food, traveled 600 miles and back and much more.

And now its over. Back to work today. Back to the daily grind.

It really flew by, man. It seems like yesterday. I honestly could do another week of this. I'm not sure I feel rested at all. But I do get some rest coming up. There is the TOOL concert in early June. End of June is the Chicago trip. The summer will bring some fun with the kids and holidays and all that. But my entire vacation time is spent. I gotta make it to January 1st now with not much rest to have.

Honestly, that is okay. I got things planned. Things I have to do (finally). There is so much work ahead. I got probably THREE books to launch before the end of the year. Right now the focus is on my health. This carpal Tunnel thing will continue to be worked with and monitored. And I am focusing on my weight loss. We haven't had sodas in the house for almost two weeks now. I've had them if we go out but the weaning has already begun. I plan to go hardcore on the fruits and veggies until I get below 300.

I'll be brutally honest here. I think its the best way I can be in this life. I find strength in being honest. About two weeks ago, I got on the scale and I crossed a margin. An unthinkable margin. The total I weighed that day?

402 pounds.

Yes, I crossed the 400 pound mark. Severely morbidly obese. I stepped off the scale and I was in shock. I have gained 82 pounds in over a year. I am now officially one foot in the grave. I cried to myself as I wondered how it all happened. But I knew. Of course I knew. The depression led me to eat. I have a sedentary job, I snack. The sodas. The fast food. No exercise... its no mystery as to what I did to myself. I'm scared to go to the doctor. I'm scared to do anything, honestly. I don't feel right. I feel wobbly and full of panic.

But all this means is I am awake and aware of what I have done and what I must do now.

My goal is to drop 100 pounds. Right now. Immediately. So I am going hardcore. I gotta get out of the danger zone.... or die trying. And right now, I feel like living. I got shit to do. So I am going to get this freight train back on the rails and kicking ass at this thing. I'm struggling to survive and its time I woke up and get myself under control.

There are so many other things I want to do beyond just the weight loss. I have to save for many things coming up. I have to find time to get work done. I have to this, I have to that. And it will be easy to do because everything is a choice. What do you choose? What are you more hungry for? Future dreams, to live thinner and happier or what I have been doing so far with a very limited life? I wasn't created to live depressed, defeated, ashamed or condemned and unworthy. I was created to be victorious. And its my turn. I choose life.

So 'scuse me while I take care of some personal business. Stuff I keep saying I have to do but now, HAVE to do it. And I will. Because I can. And if you are in a similar boat as mine, so can you.

Anyway, back to the grind of work and getting my life under control. Meanwhile, here are some pics to entertain:

The kittens got adopted out! Chloe went to her new home and Sebastian went to one as well. The grey one (we named her Luna) was declared the winner and we chose her to stay with us. We're happy with our decision but miss all of them greatly.

Co-worker NES party.

Lots o' gamez being played!

DC represent!

Luna and Sebastian. Last time together.

Sebastian, moments before he was picked up. I'll miss that boy. :(

Here's our Luna... very cute and loving kitten.

Some edited for content and spoiler free new pages from STARSLAM 3. Its really coming along!

1 comment:

Caleb & Jen said...

I got up to 360 pounds and decided it was time to make a change. Since that time, I have trimmed down to 280 doing one simple thing. Basic human physiology, to lose weight, you have to burn more calories than you take in. Numbers don't matter. Those Olympic guys eat 6000 calories a day. You just have to burn more than you take in.

That could mean eating less, or eating healthier, but I enjoy food and I don't want to give up carbs, or go to quarter-portion size. And dieting only works for as long as you stay on the diet. The only "Diet" I ever did that stuck was permanently giving up all soda, and that only happened because of kidney stones.

So for me, it's about the exercise. I do one exercise, that is all. I get on a treadmill at the YMCA (I hate running) and I set the speed really, really slow. Like 2-3 mph when I was starting. But then I raise the incline to 15 degrees, so it feels like I'm about to fall off. Go as slow as you want, but walk at this incredibly steep uphill rate. It burns calories at like 5x the rate of real jogging.

It sounds so simple, and it surprisingly is. I barely break a sweat. I never feel sore. It's just a dull plod up a steep hill. I was on the treadmill beside some younger girl who was running at the 10mph speed, and she kept looking at my calorie meter and freaking out because I'm just strolling along, and it's way out-pacing what she's burning.

For the timer, I don't watch time. I just watch calories burned. My goal is 3000, which now I'm doing in about 60 minutes at 3.5mph. I watch a TV show I want to see while walking on the treadmill, and when I'm done, I've burned every bite that I will eat that day. Then I still order pizza, or eat burritos, or whatever. But it doesn't matter. The weight still keeps falling off, because I'm burning more than I'm eating, all with just an hour of leisurely stroll, but at a steep incline.

Trust me, mate. 10 pounds a month. It doesn't make you sore or tired. It doesn't leave you hungry or miserable. It's just an investment of time, daily, doing something easy and mundane that you can do in front of the TV. Seriously, worked wonders for me.