My Shitty Brain

Hey friends.

Thought I would update about nothing in particular. My new FB page has a way of warning me when I am not posting enough, so I thought I would try to write this morning to shut it up with a post about a new blog here. I don't have much to say as there hasn't been much going on. This past weekend I had my kids so I didn't get any work done. I was feeling down in the dumps a bit too and for no particular reason, really. This week was my friend Caleb's birthday (RIP) and also money has been kinda tight, so I haven't had much to go out and play with. I got a TO DO list a mile long and I'm swiping away with it a day at a time. Maybe that all has something to do with it.

My sleep is erratic as well due to a 4:30am wake-up to get the kids on Saturday. I find that the older I get, the worse I am to re-cooperate when my sleep pattern gets fucked up. It takes a few days. And by the time I right myself, I have to do it all over again. I woke up at 6am this morning after going to bed at 2am last night. See what I mean? Makes my brain go haywire sometimes.

But that's the day to day juggle. Not much else to say about it. Some days I am good and some days I have the feels about one thing or the other. Mostly about the things I gotta get done or friends/family that are gone. Sometimes its the bullshit going on in the world, politics, etc. I know I suffer from depression but for the most part, I feel like I got it handled. I'm ok. And that's all I need to be sometimes, you know? And then sometimes I just like to have a nice drink and forget about it all for a little while. I think when I do that, I scare some people. Like maybe I make people think I am worse off than I am. For example this weekend:

I didn't intend for my tweet to be a "cry for help" type of situation. But this person reached out and made me feel better. I certainly appreciate it! But please, don't think I'm whining or in dire need for attention or validation. I'm doing ok. But it means the world to me when people do reach out and care like this person did above. So often we create in a vacuum and now that the convention world has completely changed and its harder to get that face to face thumbs up from your peers and fans, to feel validated or that you matter at all can sometimes be a stretch for people at my level.

But I do get lots of emails, PMs and messages back that do show that, yes indeed, I am loved and I DO feel it. Thank you very much, folks. Its this back and forth from me to you that I have worked hard over the years to cultivate. I have pumped out weekly content for years and years on this blog and my podcasts. In this, I've strived to be brutally honest and open at all times. I've teased and revealed. I've shared and lost. I've struggled and celebrated. Its all on here and nicely archived. These things are my therapy as much as the occasional drink some booze/listen to Bob Dylan private sessions I have with myself. Its how I deal with things.

So please know, things are going good. I'm getting work done, I'm losing weight (down 11 pounds now), I'm going out and doing things (seeing TOOL live tomorrow) and I got a support group all around me to keep me sane. Bills are paid, I got things I like and love... I'm good. I really am. I know I am blessed in this life. And I appreciate you folks checking me out and keeping me in your life. I see the downloads, the likes, the reposts, the views on all my stuff and I take note of who is paying attention. I appreciate it.

All of this will not go unrewarded! The comics I got going will come out. The books I have promised will come out as well. There is so much work to do before I can sit back and relax. And I'm sure much more after that. It won't stop until I do.

Anyway thanks for the continued love and support, my friends. Much love to all of you.

------NOTES/PLUGS------

New episode of the IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW, I review the new Roger Waters album! Stream it HERE - Also subscribe Via ITUNES! And while you are there, leave a comment. It helps my numbers and ratings. I appreciate it.

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-or- If you prefer physical copies you can get them at my online store right HERE - Each book gets a hand drawn sketch inside as a bonus and a thank you.

Episode 500 of the IDIOTHEAD MORNING SHOW PODCAST is coming soon! If you got a question to be answered live on the air or a suggestion for a show topic, hit me with an email right here: phymns@yahoo.com

--T